THANKS DAD ๐๐จ FOR KNOCKING UP THAT SLUT ๐๐ปAND BECUMMING ๐ฆ๐ฆ MY REAL FATHER ๐ซก๐จHAPPY FATHERS DAY ALL YOU SLUTTY DAD FUCKERS ๐๐ค DONT TOUCH HIS THERMOSTAT ๐ก๏ธโ JUST HIS MEAT ๐๐ฅฉ๐ FOR ALL THE DADDIES ๐ง๐ด๐จโ๐ง๐จโ๐ฆ IN YOUR LIFE ๐๐ MAKE SURE THEY KNOW JUST HOW HARD ๐๐ฉ YOU APPRECIATE THEM ๐๐ฅต LET HIM BEAT IT UP ๐๐ฝ AND THEN ASK โWHATS THE DAMAGEโ ๐ฅธ๐ DONT MAKE HIM QUESTION ๐โ WHETHER YOURE WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING ๐คฃ๐ WHEN YOURE SLOBBIN HIS KNOB ๐๏ธ๐ AND DONT FORGET TO HONOR OUR FAVORITE DADDY ๐ฅฐ๐คฉ NICOLAS CAGE AND HIS FAT HOG ๐๐ SEND THIS TO 30 OF YOUR BIGGEST DADDY DICK RIDERS ๐๐ค ๐ OR YOULL GET NONE OF PAPAS POP UPS โบ๏ธ๐ชต IF YOU ONLY GET 3๏ธโฃ BACK THEN HES NOT MAD ๐ค๐คฌ JUST DISAPPOINTED YOU CANT TAKE MORE ๐๐ฉ IF YOU GET AT LEAST 2๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ THEN GET READY FOR DADDY ๐จ๐ด๐ง TO GIVE YOU A GOOD SPANKING โ๐๐ฉ HI HORNY IM DAD!!! (โ อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)โ
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the "redfield bloodline" jokes . do not even get me FUCKING started on that bs. it's so immature and it does such a massive disrespect to claire especially , but also chris and everyone else involved in this whole thing . i've never really found it funny and frankly it's . misogynistic and i'm really not a fan of it at all . by far the worst thing in fanon / fandom for me and i cannot engage with any of this.
your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
big fan of umbrella chronicles . sergei is a really interesting villain and i don't see a lot of people talking about it or jill & chris' time there in russia . revelations 1 also falls under this , i adore that game and the queen zenobia / queen semaramis & t-abyss was SO interesting to me. revelations 2 with the whole infiltration & betrayal of TerraSave was also very glossed over , especially later on.
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
PLAYING DIFFERENT CHOICES IN A ROLEPLAYING GAME DOES NOT DENOTE YOUR PERSONAL MORALITY AS A PLAYER.
I am very tired of the Dragon Age fandom thinking that your decision to choose templars over mages in DA2/DAI means you support IRL murder, but also equating "mage rights" to real world protests for actual human rights matters is really, uh. It sure is something. And that's not to say there aren't real life influences in fiction because they do come from somewhere, but to think that the oppression of fictional pixels is at all comparable to real people??? Absolutely not.
10. worst part of fanon - answered here.
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
Literally most female characters in Dragon Age? SKDJFHJKSHDF No, but more seriously, I think people severely neglect Dwarf Loreโข, and I fear that it shows by a lack of how many people feel inclined to make dwarves in game/roleplay dwarves on tumblr. I think I can count all the dwarf rpers (including canons!) on like. 1.5 hands.
this had been the most convoluted thing in existence. this being working alongside people who were supposed to be dead or at the very least long gone. this being the fact that leon was trying to look into what he could genuinely find about dulvey and report back with his findings. this being the weirdest vacation he's actually been on. ( we can't say it's a mission, because no one forced himself there )
it wasn't leon kennedy going rogue. this was leon kennedy helping someone find out more about their own afflictions. sort of. this was the blonde, hunched over his laptop breaking several laws of the united states government that would have him serving for even more years past his expiration. ( truthfully, leon knew that he was doomed until he died, but this might just put it over the current date that leon would have to be with the united states government. )
wondrously, the internet to his computer was impressively fast, though he wasn't sure how. nothing in this village seemed state of the art.
he didn't sleep much. either. the village had been so offset that it made leon uneasy. the blonde knew he'd have to eventually sleep but right now, his notebook had scramblings of notes on everything with dulvey. it was hypothetically opening up a closet and finding not only things you hadn't known about but also at least six herds of elephants that you should have known about. there was mixed notes, some pages were marked 'K' and others were not. he had meant for all the notes to be for just Karl's eyes to be given to him. all of the other pages had scrambled notes for leon to go back and do more research into. how did the dso not know about the corruption within the bsaa? how did they not know about the e-strain virus directly under their nose?
or did they?
there's a certain point where leon finally finds himself too exhausted to keep researching. food would also be a top priority, but leon wasn't focused on that yet. he could go a few more hours before he'd go scavenging. maybe he'd find that over joyous gentleman that kept reminding him of someone from the early 2000s that he'd left in his past.
this place is not the most comfortable, but he finds himself resting his head against the table that he's working on in the ramshackle house that he had chosen. as much sleep as he got, it's still not enough, when leon, disoriented, wakes up a few hours later- clearly the only thing awake in the home he had taken over, before he stretches back to feel his back crack in two different places as he stretches uncomfortably. that's when he is slowly coming to. slow blinks register, almost immediately, two golden somethings in the corner of a very pitched back section of the house.
hand immediately reaches out to grab the handgun that he fell asleep next to, immediately aiming it towards the eyes he's looking at. " i assure you, americans don't miss even if they're half awake, " it's an empty threat- laced with the dry venom that he usually accompanied venom in his words. but it's still a threat as long as they continue just . . . staring at him
the agent manually pulls back the hammer on his gun, still aiming, trying to figure out he wants to do. or what the stranger wants to do.
" so i suggest scaring the shit out of someone is the last thing you want to do today. "
Jill Valentine had been betrayed many times before , but none of it stung as much as this time .
Her longtime mission partner hadn't contacted her for the better part of several years , and he'd taken several men and deserted the organization both of them worked so hard to build. She'd seen the files , she'd read the reports of the sudden disappearance - hell , had tried so hard to get into contact with him again and again , but had been met with nothing. Over and over again , the dial tone on the other end of a phoneline , letters never returned .
Some part of her didn't want to believe it , but something had definitely happened . It wasn't something she could dwell on here though - she'd been quick on the opportunity to lead a strike team into the depths of Romania , where the Hound Wolf Squad had been reported seen , and to further investigate the last traces of the Mutamycete they'd caught wind of. It wasn't hard - communications were easily intercepted, things were easy to read on routine checkovers .
Jill had been boots on the ground for the past three days , making their way on foot to the last recorded location of their bioweaponry readings . Dressed in clothing that matched her surroundings and a heavily modified sniper rifle in her hand, she'd dealt with these exact operations before . Small teams , stakeouts , investigations and ultimately engagement if it came to it - she'd come here with a team of six including her , and all of them had been handpicked from several elite B.S.A.A units .
The assignment itself wasn't all that impressive - claim what was left , investigate , take samples and attempt to recover the Winters' if they were still around - but given what they knew about the area and the reported bioterror in general , precautions were better safe than sorry. They technically had the green-light to incapacitate and take in - kill if necessary - whoever was left of the squad that may have remained in the area, but Jill was largely still uncertain if that was something she'd entirely be willing to do , barring old friendships and allegiances . Regardless, she was here to do a job , and that wasn't going to be argued against.
The temporary camp is largely quiet , strike team members stacking crates of gear and setting up for the long haul - the likely rate this was going , they'd be here for at least a week . They'd set up a mile or so north of the village's last recorded location, and Jill had largely been the one to oversee it .
There's an exhale , slipping a combat knife or two onto her person - one on her belt , one on her shoulder holster - both of them were very well known to her . A thick , wicked blade on her shoulder embossed with a snake and the name of a man she'd once respected , and a slender one meant more for utility than combat on her belt . It'd been a gift , and she'd managed to keep it this long .
The tent is stifling despite the cold. There's a reason that Jill disliked how thick the winter gear was , how she barely spent any time inside what was practically her field office and preferred to be boots on the ground doing reconnaissance or taking her seat by one of the fires as she checked over her gear . She'd always been armed to the teeth - Jill could do very well without , but she liked the security of her marksmanship and combat capability .
Her breath comes out tinged in frost as she drags herself out of her thoughts , a hand on the sniper's strap resting on her opposite shoulder . She looked akin to a hunter preparing to leave to slaughter a deer , and perhaps that's what she was .
Vibrant blue flickered towards the flap of the light-coloured tent, spiked boots carrying her towards the entrance and ducking through . There's a conversation held between her and one of the other strike team members , a gesture in the rough direction of the village , and an agreement . The B.S.A.A. emblem on the shoulder of her coat's lined with a thin layer of powder snow , obscuring some of the lines .
A minute passes and she's on the less worn path , clearing through the brush away from the camp , sidearm on her belt and ready to draw at a moment's notice . The proximity of everything in the forest wasn't viable for her rifle , but she'd maneouvre just as well with a modified pistol and a knife if it came down to it .
Her footsteps are near silent in the sky slowly shifting to dusk - the snow helped to muffle it , but all the rest belonged to a thief's instincts . Her gaze remains on the trees around her - to be complacent was to be dead , and Jill Valentine was neither. Combat boots sink into the white underneath her, but they never remained for long , always pushing , always making her way forward . She wanted to see what the hell was left , what they had to work with . It wouldn't be long until she'd reach the location she was beelining towards - once she did , it'd definitely be a sight to see .
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adventure.. he plays here in his scrap pile, twisting bodies into weapons that fail again and again, and speaks about adventure. not to say there isn't intrigue. not to say victor hadn't perused the swathe of diagrams on that distant desk of his and wondered whether a tweak, here or there, would solve his conundrum. less mechanical, more biological, karl is a smart man, but his shortcomings stand here, at attention. what is this visit if not an opportunity to forge some semblance of .. perhaps not camaraderie, but understanding.
" i believe our definition of adventure differs to some degree, " and he doesn't shield his disappointment from his tongue. misunderstandings were hiccups. they were the gnat you swat till it succumbs. the hurdle you jump because it is low and you, capable. here, they read from different textbooks and their conclusions, while varying, ought verge.. even a fraction would do.
in a typical setting, a sprawl of a lab, all petri dishes and vials filled at an array of levels, one did well to keep their hands to themselves. respect, while fickle, was a necessary tool when genius was at work and curiosity was better seen and not heard. but this setting is atypical and his respect is in short supply, invaluable, and wholly reserved for a time when @rusthunt has earned it.
" take for exampleโ " lenses adjust on their own, zeroing in on the finer details of a wall tacked with the images of familiar and unfamiliar faces. and then it drops. " โthis. " picks a model out of the sea of parchment, and approaches it with two wide, casual strides. to the common man, this is one of many macabre projects. iron replaces bones.. gears for a circulatory system. fascinating, but inadequate for a purpose he has, very slowly, started piecing together.
" your craftsmanship is extraordinary, " in the light, the finer details can be appreciated. stroked by a fond appraisal, the doctor only lifts his head once he's assessed the damages done, " but your execution.. well, we can't all have a surgeon's steady hands, can we. " there's the peek of gold. a glittering smile that splits him wide and breeds the notion that he uses the term we deliberately. underhanded kindness when his own fingers know the cool edge of a scalpel well. " the human spine is simple to replicate, but its functions.. "
back to the table, he drops this chart and analyses two more before diverting his attention where it belonged. " if i were a gambling man, i'd wager this subject has been terminated. " the ventral horn of the cord was misshapen, no doubt leading to an entertaining, albeit fruitless, mess of jerking limbs and eventual atrophy. a waste.
" if not.. " tongue flicks and in his chest rumbles that thirst, " ..i would love to see it. " his sense of adventure, at last.