A friend of mine posted a status about going to see the film and I immediately started telling her why it's horrible and she needs to donate that money to a woman's shelter instead! The friend she went with asked "if it's consensual, how is it abuse?" I don't know enough about BDSM to know how that specific aspect is wrong, but the sex is not the issue, it's the WHOLE THING and it's SO SCARY that people don't see it!
(I am sorry if you didn't want this public, I just wrote a lot and then realized I wanted to share my opinion on this)
I do not have a first hand knowledge of it, but from what I've read on blogs and in other books, BDSM is a lifestyle. It's a sexual choice. It is something that brings people pleasure. Mutually. The submissive gets a thrill and pleasure from the pain. The dominant gets a thrill and pleasure from it as well, and then he/she takes care of the submissive. A scene, as i've heard it's called, is taxing, emotionally and physically. You just can't roll over and go to sleep. There's also a trust between partners. Also, the sexual act is not abuse. Abuse by definition is to be treated wrongly or misuse.
"Consensual abuse" does not exist. Unless a child is consenting to be abused by not running away from home or a women consents to be abused because she fell asleep at a party.
BDSM is not abuse, it is sexual play. It's like people who like butt plugs or beads. The putting in is not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it's all about the pleasure of taking it out real slow, etc.
The problem with Fifty's bdsm is that Christian chooses women who look like his mother. His mother who abandoned him, etc. He is basically getting a thrill out of sexual play and doling out pain to his mother. This idea of a twisted brain falling into BDSM is such a stereotype and cliche. James obviously did very little research. It's like, she wanted there to be some spanking and she used her limited knowledge of the lifestyle.
There is a scene where Christian buys masking tape...WHO THE FUCK WOULD USE THAT KIND OF TAPE DURING SEX?
No one. A rapist serial killer who doesn't care about injuring their victim, maybe, but your boyfriend using masking tape or duct tape on you? Never. (If he does you are both stupid)
Beyond that, Christian does not have the kind of relationship with Ana where she has given him the right to own her life. He makes lists about who can and cannot see her? He buys companies for her to run that she didn't ask or give an sign that she wanted to, etc? A person wanting that much control of you, a person who wants to OWN you is BAD FOR YOU.
Run. That would be my advice to a friend who met Christian Grey. I'd tell them to run.