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Me, the dm: so does anyone here has a working knowledge of chemistry?
Koni: lol nope
Sarah: no
Lilou: yeah no
Cal3ris: I mean a bit, yes
Me, the dm: in that case you have to promise not to yell at me bc I'm about to make some shit up and it's going to be highly inaccurate
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I wonder what she’s smiling at?
So I’ve been DM’ing our little group for a couple of years now, and it’s interesting, ‘cause I always assumed I’d be bad at it. As a writer, I revise and rewrite and jump around a lot, and I never write chronologically. Never. I simply don’t know how; I just write a scene here and there and then eventually, over the course of time, fill in the missing bits.
But obvs in RPG there is no possibility of that, because it’s live storytelling. You can’t just jump around randomly. So I thought I’d have to do a lot of retconning and that I’d have a lot of plotpoints that go nowhere and trouble working out something consistent, but...
It kinda worked out okay? I’ve had to retcon one or two things, but they were mostly details, and overall I somehow managed to work in a plot that makes sense. And it’s also fun, because that thing I have when writing longer things - where a plothole suddenly gets a solution out of nowhere - also happens when I’m DM’ing. So at this point, I’m confident enough to just randomly drop in plot elements, safe in the knowledge that even though right now I don’t know what they’re for, I’ll eventually find a use for them.
It’s a very organic way of storytelling, and I’m honestly still pleasantly surprised that it goes so well.
So I introduced a priestess of the goddess of love into the latest dnd session, who is described as a "tall, muscular tiefling woman with long dark purple hair in an undercut, wearing a sleeveless tunic revealing strong arms which look like they might give very good hugs; she smiles gently as she sees you enter" - and then I made the party roll a wisdom check to see if they would resist being charmed.
Spoiler: they didn't.
Highlights of the Hell campaign
The gang somehow managing to completely fail to get any of the plot-relevant information despite questioning the two plot-infogivers extensively (STOP ASKING THE WRONG QUESTIONS I yelled mentally)
Darkspire in Avernus is an office building
The gang’s undercover demon names are all Ikea furniture
The soundtrack for Darkspire is entirely made up of slowed-down pop songs (blame that one post about slowed-down Gangnam Style)
The gang deciding that instead of just going undercover as visitors they want to apply for a job at Darkspire and use that as their cover
Actually getting the job (fuck you fucking +8 persuasion @talaricula)
Actually getting the job but having to give up Douglas as payment, who gets promptly zapped into a dungeon
The gang resolving the fight with the turncoat Celestial Fallen Paladin by grappling him and then stuffing him into their Bag of Holding
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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So
Our DnD party’s new campaign took them into an Orc Tribe. I was a bad DM and didn’t do enough prep re: Orc names, so I opened up an online orc name generator. The gf, sitting next to me, looked over my shoulder and honed in on “Xugar” (according to her: pronounced “Kchugar”).
Upon which, someone in the party decided all orc names are food-related.
Things... escalated.
We just finished our second arc!
I have seen that post, no dice of yours is safe from me now
bring it on, i shall GUARD THEM JEALOUSLY FROM NOW ON
