#roystache

Fun fact: a man who, I swear to God, had the same ugly mustache tried to steal my wallet. So uh...those are my thoughts on the Roy stache lmao

Plot twist: Riza Hawkeye is directly responsible for Roy Mustang’s wormstache.

Mustang losing a bet and having to grow a shitstache… Edward pettily drawing mustaches on photographs of his old superior… Hawkeye traveling out of town for two weeks and coming back to the general using powers of facial hair growth to irresponsible ends… there are many possible explanations for why this abomination came into existence.

And many of us fans need resolution. We need justice served. We need to see good triumph over evil. We need a happy ending to one of the worst plot twists of FMAB. We cannot end the story with such tragedy. Thus we imagine Team Mustang or Hawkeye herself pinning Roy down and shaving the worst shadow since Selim off his face.

But what if Hawkeye isn’t the savior of our adversity? Instead, the very cause of Roystache’s existence?

Riza has drawn crap on Roy’s face before. Riza Hawkeye, master of the poker face, managed to trick Roy and draw cat whiskers on his face. Cat whiskers. On the boy. During the work day. In the middle of headquarters. Where everyone could see him. Hawkeye used a black marker. A black marker. That wouldn’t be washed out in a day. He was stuck with it. In a professional / military environment. For at least a day. Because of Hawkeye.

And if she’s done it once, who’s to say it hasn’t happened again?