Continued from [HERE] with @royaletiquette
She didnโt see it coming. Quite on the contrary. Nunnally was, indeed, thrilled and enthusiastic about how much they agreed on something (finally!). On something that she found important. It could have been their first project together.
No, no matter what Hibiya thought and assumed, she had had no intention to share all the details. Rather, in her own mind, Nunnally was gently testing how much support their proposal could have received. If they could count on the warm welcome, or rather would have to challenge the opposition. It was wise to do, so why?
No, the princess didnโt see it coming. That her fiancรฉ, who had just a day ago so eagerly agreed with her, would so blatantly (rudely!) contradict her in front of the whole court (and exaggeration; Nunnally knows that). Was it planned perhaps? To humiliate her? To show her (everyone) that she was a foreigner? That she should simply accept her position as a queen consort, give birth to the royal children, and find her satisfaction in being 'a wife', 'a mother', 'a lady', even 'a queen', but not a ruler?
Why Hibiya? Why?; Nunnally was asking this question again and again in hear mind.
When he had interrupted her (yes, that exactly felt like interruption or perhaps more like a public reprimand), her heart that was previously beating so eagerly for Hibiya, crushed into thousands of pieces. Whoever her enemies were, they were now winning. But no-one was to see what had just happened. The princess would not allow that; yet alone acknowledge the situation. Nunnally had managed to maintain a cheerful smile, turn it to a joke, play it as an unimportant mistake of someone, who was not really interested. Changing the subject into their incoming wedding. The princess managed (or at least she hoped so) to cover for the bad impression they might have made.
But she knew. And Hibiya knew. She was certain of that.
She had heard him calling after her, when they were finally alone. But she didnโt slow down. Nunnally didnโt want to talk to him; yet alone to speak to him until he was to put the wedding ring on her finger. In that very moment, she was sure the prince ruined everything that was between them. She hated him (but did she really?).
But instead of him leaving, what she had expected, Hibiya followed her.
( โI have the right to explain.โ )
โThen explainโฆ!โ โ Nunnally heard her own words as if they were coming from a large distance. She didnโt want his explanation. She didnโt want his apologies. She didnโt care about them anymore. ย ย
โฆmisunderstandingโฆchange of planโฆcontradictionโฆ
These were empty words. And it wasnโt even the apologies she was expecting but rather the accusation that it was all her fault.
โI would then assume it would be a common courtesy to inform me aboutโฆโ โ she paused โ โโฆthe change of plansโฆas you wish to call it.โ โ Nunnally conveniently ignored Hibiya mentioning his father; she didnโt believe anymore it was his father that truly ruled this land. She was convinced Hibiya blamed it on him, because it was just easier; a convenient excuse. Otherwise, heโd surely have mention it yesterday.ย
โWell, maybe I donโt mind having that target painted on meโฆ!โ โ she hissed in a defensive voice, knowing she was going too far. She shouldnโt have said that, but somehow it felt good. She wanted to leave at that, but Hibiyaโs next words kept Nunnally in place. Her blues eyes now wide opened; surprised and hurt; her palms clenching into the fists.
โI could throw your words back at you.โ โ she said; her voice finally shaking with previously hidden emotions. She felt sick. A knot in her stomach โ โThink before you speak, Hibiya, as your words might have unintended consequencesโฆโ โ with these words Nunnally turned around and started to walk towards her chambers. But she stopped just after taking a few steps. Turned and walked back to Hibiya: --
โIf you think itโs the end, you're wrong. I am not going to give up on this idea.โ
โIt was a good one.โ โ sheโd find a way to push it through; her voice suddenly sad and tired; it truly was โ โYou need to give me much more than thisโฆif you want to stop me. A good reason.โ - why was she even offering him that chance?
