#roxy lincoln

By Roxy Lincoln

Pictured: Children looking at a queer-inclusive sex education handout. Image: Martin Godwin.

 Let’s talk about sex, kids!

  We read about it all day, be it in magazines or on the walls of dirty bathroom stalls. Sex is everywhere. It sells. In fact, I’m willing to bet it sold you a thing or two. Yet here we are in 2018, and the sexual education taught in schools mimics that of your grandparents.

 Now, please don’t get me wrong; I don’t believe any high school student needs a crash course in how to be a freak between the sheets. I do, however, firmly believe that it is a duty for the education system to adequately equip young minds with the ability to practice safe sex. In saying that, I plead with the Department of Education to please include queer sexual education into the curriculum.

 According to Statistics South Africa, the total number of people living with HIV increased from 4,94 million in 2002 to 7,06 million in 2017. As terrifying as that may sound, it was reported that the rate at which the population in South Africa is being infected is estimated to be declining from 1,9% in 2002 to 0,9% in 2017. This suggests that although there has been a significant increase in cases of HIV infection, there has been a shift in the rate at which it is being spread in recent times. The sexual education students are taught in school plays an integral role in this decline as young people are better equipped with the knowledge of prevention.

  Speaking to a former high school teacher, Bird, I wanted to gain perspective on why queer sexual education is not taught in school. “I think what needs to change is the manner in which it is taught and the content to better suit the 21st century teenager.” Bird confessed. The former high school teacher is weary of introducing pleasure into the sexual education system as she believes that it would cause controversy. An understandable fear. Bird, however, does believe that queer sexual education does need to be included into the curriculum: “safe sex is safe sex, isn’t it? Regardless of whether a student is straight or queer.”

But how are queer people affected by the current climate of sexual education?

Pictured: An illustration of heterosexual and queer couples, similar to the diagrams shown in Life Orientation books. Image: Dan Evans.

  Sonny, a university student who identifies as being gay, says: “I never felt included when learning about sex, we were only really taught about condoms so I had to go the extra mile in educating myself.” As a young gay man, Sonny emphasises the importance of safe sex, “I didn’t believe I could get an STD because we were only taught about heteronormative sex.”

  Sonny, like many young queer people in the technological age, acquired his knowledge on safe sex by watching porn, which he sheepishly admits to being unrealistic, from his peers and from his own awkward experiences. Sonny isn’t alone.

 Lailaa is currently studying Law and identifies as bisexual. She believes that the current sexual education taught in schools creates an unhealthy perception for young people. “We were taught that you abstain until you get married to someone you love.” She proceeds, “I believe that people should be able to engage in consensual sexual activity without guilt or stigma.”

 Lailaa signifies the other stark problem with the current system. Sexual education revolves solely on penetration with a penis into a vagina. “It took me a long time to discover what I like because I was only taught one thing. I realise now that it isn’t wrong to be curious.” But Lailaa emphasises her biggest problem with the sexual education taught in school. It’s based on fear. Instead of exploring alternative forms of contraception students are made to fear falling pregnant or contracting an STD. It’s important that students aren't afraid to ask questions and get engaged.

I believe that we need to talk about sex. Let’s laugh about it and learn about it. People who identify as queer especially need to discuss sex more that is why I have asked an array of queer people to give me their best tips and tricks in bed to better educate the queer space on how to have safe sex.

Tips and Tricks:

Don't be afraid to communicate, it will make the experience easier.

Do as much research as possible before your first time. Don't go into it blind.

If you cut a condom down the middle you can create your own dental dam.

Make sure you’re clean (this means take a shower).

Gay men, try not to eat before but drink lots of water.

Be honest about what you want but don't be afraid to experiment.