#rowancd

FULL NAME: Rowan Abigail Salvatore

SOMEONE THEY SEE AS A BEST FRIEND: @gavinsalvatore​

SEXUALITY: Bi-Curious

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

IDEAL PARTNER: Kind, loving, not afraid to challenge me, someone who actually loves me.

TURN ONS: I don’t know... someone cute? Not just a boy. Confidence. Neck kisses.

CRUSHES: Crushes? I don’t... I guess I don’t have any right now.

SOMEONE THEY WOULDN’T MIND HOOKING UP WITH: Hmm... @brayden-davis is a cutie - maybe I’ll work up the courage to talk to him.

SOMEONE THEY HATE: @kademadden and the witches who cursed me and my brother.

SOMEONE THEY WOULD LIKE TO SEE HURT: I want to say @kademadden but I don’t think I do anymore. I’d rather see the heretics who cursed Gavin and I dead.

SOMEONE THEY WOULD PROTECT: @gavinsalvatore @damon-salvctore @roxy-salvatore @aj-salvatore @stefansalvatore46 @xbeautifully--chaoticx

BIGGEST FEAR: Dying.

BIGGEST FANTASY: All this craziness stops and I can live a normal life.

BAD HABITS: Used to be drugs and alcohol, now it’s picking at my nail beds and not getting enough sleep.

BIGGEST REGRET: Losing my virginity to @kademadden at the point that I did. I wish I waited longer to give it up.

BEST KEPT SECRETS: When I was 9 I broke the lamp in the living room. Dad still thinks it was Gavin.

LAST THOUGHT: I don’t understand why he thinks grounding me is a good idea.

WORST ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE: I’ve only been with @kademadden so I guess he’s my best and my worst.

WHO THEY THINK THEIR NEXT ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE WILL BE WITH: No idea.

BIGGEST INSECURITY: My lack of solid foundations.

WEAPON OF CHOICE: Myself

Rowan had gone to Marcel’s party thinking that everything would be fine. Had gone to the party dressing to impress, hoping she’d turn her boyfriend of a month or so on with her low cut v-neck dress and confident attitude. She just didn’t want to be a virgin anymore. And that night, she lost it to him. Let him take her and take her heart along with it. She felt special for once, and not just because of her rapid ageing. Someone had finally looked at her like she wasn’t a kid, finally taken into consideration the fact that even though she wasn’t an adult in reality, she wanted to be treated like one. She let him kiss her neck and pepper her collarbone with gentle kisses, let him slide  off the dress she was wearing and watched it fall to the ground of the hotel room, landing atop the petals that sat on the floor. She cautiously unbuckled his belt as he undid her bra strap, staring into his bright green irises. All she could see in them was a gentle, caring soul. He was careful with her, cautious in knowing that she had never done anything of the sort before. She kissed his lips gently, with a fervour that she had never felt before.

Turns out being an adult isn’t always the sunshine and roses Rowan wanted it to be.  That night, Rowan found out that Kade had been cheating on her with other girls. And to think she had given him everything? She was shattered, heartbroken. All she wanted to do was not feel the pain she was in anymore. She found herself falling back into her patterns of using to subside the pain. There was no sense of how she should have reacted, all she knew was that her emotions were too strong, too  invasive, and she wanted to get rid of them. So she did what she did best. Got high, let herself take a tab of LSD. At first, it didn’t work right away. She took another, and then some cocaine. Anything to try and dull the heartache she was feeling. By the end of the morning, she couldn’t count on one hand all the different types of drugs she had taken. She couldn’t describe exactly what she was feeling - a mix of highs and lows and everything in between, her emotions wouldn’t stabilize. She found herself ecstatically happy one moment, sobbing the next. Overall, she was out of it. She couldn’t tell the difference between imagination and reality. She even imagined Kade knocking at her attic room door, here to apologize for his actions, but in her state of mind, she couldn’t tell if he was there or not. Maybe he had actually come to apologize? Maybe he had come to say she was the one he wanted to be with. She would have said yes, would have taken him back in a heartbeat if he asked. She was too ruined to see that she didn’t deserve to be treated that way. All she wanted to be was loved, and if that meant by the man who hurt her, she’d gladly give him a second chance. In reality, she was lucky she hadn’t died. With the amount of toxins in her system, she was surprised that something hadn’t stopped working, but that was the last thing she cared about. If that was the only way to stop her heartache, then she would have welcomed it with open arms.