his whole sense of self is based off of something he never moved on from. in almost any any world, any universe, that incident is rowan's death. what results from losing his brother and being unable to move on is a dedication to what rowan loved, wanted to do, and wanted to be. but it gets to a point where it's dangerous and overwhelming; this religious dedication to fulfilling rowan's aspirations & potential is something that ace never should have had to deal with.

but it's all he has left. he can't move on because that means that rowan doesn't get to move on. in some way, ace throwing himself into becoming who rowan was supposed to be is a way for him to keep rowan alive and to feel like rowan got the same chances as he did. but the funny thing about it is that because ace never let himself be who he wanted to, neither of them really had that choice.