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I hope you're still following the rules for quarantine but in case you don't remember them here's a plauge doctor that will remind you of those rules.

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Rover Red 9.0 Review and Analysis
The One Where We Fucked Up Real Bad
Fuck me man. Silt. Silt this. *softly, but with a lot of feeling* Fucking silt. OK. We’re calm. We’re calm. HAHAHA No. OK, but for real. I’m back with another one of these reviews that chronicle our fuck-ups as Rover Council Members when Leah receives our decisions. We betrayed her. Fuck. I’, so disappointed in myself for letting this happen. Let’s dive in
· Jonah is not where we were told he was going to be. Shocker, right? No one suspected that. *eye rolls*
· Someone give E.V.i.E the Turing Test. She has denied sentience to many times now for me to believe her. That much sass and commentary does not come from a purely subjective AI. (Also she jealous of Nightshade)
· Dining Hall is more comfortable. Interesting. Cloaked in Shadow.
· Sasha. I’m so sorry. More on this later.
· Leah now knows her goal: Imperium. So much weight on her shoulders
· Back in the Trophy Room. So much has changed since all of us have been in there last. Yet so much hasn’t. Like we didn’t learn how to properly vote on shit. Also we still haven’t learned that Bloodworth, much like a genie, takes our innocent and pure wish and corrupts it just to fuck with us.
· Jolene really wants to get under Leah’s skin with that “Rover Red” shit but that don’t fly anymore. Leah is so much stronger as a person now, but that’s soon to change again after our little mistake.
· EVERYONE MEMORIZE, TO THE LAST MINISCULE DETAIL, THE CONTENTS OF THE DEAL LEAH MADE WITH JOLENE!!! WE ALREADY FUCKED UP ONCE, LET’S NOT DO IT AGAIN!!!
· Jolene really wants Leah to destroy Famine or break the deal. Her bloodlust is every apparent.
· “Asking for my input certainly [isn’t standard]” Silt, E.V.i.E. You salty. Damn.
· “Endear herself to an artificial intelligence.” The only reason why I would think E.V.i.E would say this is because its working and it pisses her off that she is getting somewhat along with Leah.
· 18. The number on the box. Important number I’m assuming. More to come as I look into it. Also, let’s talk about the box, and the resounding surprise that both Leah and Sasha had with the speed in which it took and stored Leah’s DNA. This will definitely come back later to bite her in the ass, but this could also be more proof of Leah’s claim to Speakership.
· Also I like the fact that deals are presented with shells. I’ll update this section after I do some more research on the significance of shells and deals, but I have a strong feeling the shell is much more than an aesthetic choice.
· Once sealed, deals emit light that temporarily blinds the participating parties. I have a feeling this is an indelible mark on them, only to be removed by the completion of the terms of the deal. Or death.
· Slade going to the Oracle was never part of the original deal. That’s why Jolene can do whatever she wants with him…
· Just the sheer amount of times Jolene threatens Leah about breaking the deal pisses me off. Like, we get it. We fucked up. Leah gets it. Leah now knows we fucked up. Christopher just likes continuously shoving our collective faces in the fact that we fucked up.
· Sasha, I’m so sorry. Like, really. I’m so sorry.
(E.V.i.E messages to us during the breaks keep getting sassier as they go on. I love it.)
· WHO THE FUCK SENT THAT MESSAGE?!?!?! It was sooooooooo obvious. Not that I’m mad at the person who wrote it, believe me I’m not, just that the wording could have been infinitely better.
· Baby girl Leah can’t lie for shit. Cinnamon roll too good for this world
· Leah=Rover Jesus. Dedlif bois have a savior now
· Leah’s breakdown is heartbreaking because we caused it. Her complicated situation is all our fault
· Sasha is a mother. Holy shit. Time to talk about the most heartbreaking thing in this episode. She believed in Leah and her plan to save everyone in the Otherwhere. Be it a lie or not, she believed in Leah. She wants to see things changed, because she wants a better world for her child. And the fact that our mistake in wording causes her pain and makes her lose her trust in Leah is almost more worrisome and prevalent in my mind than what is going to happen to Leah. I got too invested into Sasha. “As long as there is air in your lungs, I believe you’ll do what’s best.” WE CANNOT LET HER DOWN AGAIN.
· E.V.i.E is getting REEEEEAL TIRED OF THIS “NOT LISTENING TO ME” SHIT
· All the precautions about Jonah and his “Safety” makes me believe that someone has tried to take him before. Or Jolene is super paranoid about the idea of either losing him or him using his Speaker Powers to make a forcible escape.
· “You will cease to exist.” Dedlif bois be dangerous.
· Why didn’t you let E.V.i.E read you the message Leah?!?!?!?!
· Of course Jonah speaks sign language. No shit. But how come Leah doesn’t know sign language? She and Jonah had lived together for a while, enough to form a true familial bond to have her consider him her actual brother. How did they communicate before?
· The Arch Compound didn’t teach Leah sign language. INTERESTING…
· Was Nightshade suspicious or against Jonah? Keep in mind, her original purpose was solely to kill, and after being mixed with wild silt, she gained a small amount of sentience. Could it be that the refined silt part of her genetic makeup kicked in again in the presence of the Speaker since she did not want to be manipulate or controlled by his powers?
· ♪DED-LIF BOIS-ARE BACK! (ALRIGHT) ♫ Except, no, they are not alright. They are locked and loaded ready to ice some bitches.
· I once again am deathly terrified of prepubescent boys.
· Leah cracked her head on the ground. Potentially this is the reason why her “Bone Mass” bar dropped? Either that or, and it hurts me to think it, she could be losing bone mass because it is being removed from her body…
· (Also Bloodworth, you got to stop with the repeated head trauma inflicted on Leah. She’s a 15-year old girl, not a NFL football player. C’mom my dude. Eh-stop.)
· Nightshade fighting is scary terrifying and awesome at the same time. I only wonder what wild silt fights like…
· OH FUCK NIGHTSHADE NO!!! The one cat I seem to like and you kill her. You monster. She is killed by what I can only assume is a specially treated type of water that destroys silt. We got to get us some of those
· Everyone betrayed everyone. We betrayed Leah. Leah betrayed Sasha. We betrayed Sasha. Leah betrayed Jolene. We betrayed Jolene. Somewhere someone is betraying someone else. Who knows? All I know is that we fucked up real bad.
· WE DIDN’T DO IT ON PURPOSE LEAH. WE’RE SO SORRY
· I’M SO SORRY SASHA
· What the fuck is Jolene going to do?!?!?! It’s going to be worse than death. I just know it…
And that’s it. We have to discuss and very concisely choose the phrasing of our next ballot submissions. I’m about 95% certain that the podcast will end in Leah’s death on our next major mistake, assuming it doesn’t end in two weeks. We started a war, and now we angered a relentless masochist who turns people into statues for fun. Let’s not do anything remotely close to that again.
Until next week, good luck Rover Council.
Fuck me man, I’m scared.
Update to 9.0 Review and Analysis
So after some brief research and discussion with Bloodworth, here is everything that I learned/left out of the review.
The number 18 has the following symbolic meanings
“Life” in Hebrew numeric value
Symbolic meaning for bondage
In Ancient Roman custom, 18 meant a blood relative
Fun fact: 18 Chinese Buddhist Hells
Atomic number for Argon
Group 18 on the periodic table is the Noble Gases
Shells have these symbolic meanings
Love
Fertility
Longevity
Peace
In Christian tradition from Spain, shells meant pilgrims
Used in ritualistic settings
Given all this, I can only assume that Bloodworth is using the number 18 for both the “life” and “bondage” meanings, thus implying that Leah’s life is bound to that deal.
As for the shells, while I was not explicitly told that they actually served any other purpose other than the word he used for the means of containing the contents of the deal, if it was symbolic, it was obviously used in a ritualistic sealing of a contract. But other than that, I can’t really think of anything that shells could have to do with anything other than it being the word he used and a thing that exists in Conquest.
Finally some things to note from my conversation with Bloodworth
No one from the Arch Compound where Leah and Jonah grew up knew sign language. Jonah and Leah had previously been communicating via pointing and other rudimentary methods.
My claims of E.V.i.E’s sentience where met with a resounding “NO COMMENT.”
Do with this what you will.
Rover Red 8.0 Review and Analysis
Alright so considering the one revelation that I had a few weeks ago about the truth behind Dedlif and that fact the dark lord Bloodworth has basically turned this fandom into a bunch of tin-foil hat-wearing conspiracy theorists, after every episode I’m going to release one these review filled with my thoughts and opinions of both the main story and Project Nightlight interspersed with some shitty humor to keep myself [and hopefully some of you guys] entertained. So without further ado, let’s begin.
· Alright so Jolene says that she has been helping Jonah hone his Speaker powers in the Water Room. I’m assuming that’s not water under the floor, but refined silt. She also states that he was somehow delivered/arrived in the Colosseum about a week ago, potentially implying that he may not have ever been in the Skyscraper or at the very least wasn’t in there when the silt caused it to collapse in on itself. Was that Jonah controlling the silt from afar or something else entirely remains to be seen. But the minute we see him, he has the sort of refined silt that Leah wore during the games. (Also, is anyone getting Neo from Matrix Revolutions vibes from Jonah, especially with the silt in his eyes? Anyone? Just me?)
· Jolene is trying be cryptic (much like Bloodworth), but unlike the creator, Leah actually gets information out of her through sheer force of will. As the conversation goes on, the is a clear paradigm shift of power between Lean and Jolene
· THE SHADE! OH MY GOD THE SHADE OVER THE FANFIC! JOLENE IS MARRIED! THAT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY! I absolutely love the fact that she was like “Oh yeah, the story was fun and entertaining, but it was compromising and all y’all at the Rover Fortress got to cut that propaganda shit out before my wife gets jealous and makes me sleep on the couch.”
· Also, when as the Rover Council/Fortress release fanfic/theories/drunk ramblings, not only is it real within the world of Apocalypse, but it is considered propaganda to the world
· SO NOW THERE’S THIS WHOLE THING WITH SASHA. I have a feeling she might be a double or even a triple agent, since both her interaction between Lt. Slade and Jolene seem to have the connotation to be playing them both for fools. Remember, Cloaked in Shadow
· Romulus did nothing wrong. I’mma call slight bullshit. He also is working for someone else, i.e. The Emperor of Conquest, but also with Slade so I don’t know how pure his intensions are.
· Moving to Dedlif; child soldiers. The fuck, bruh? Like it makes sense and all, but even that is kinda heartbreaking. They also have their own level of sovereignty within each Conquest settlement, which kinda gives them a sort of Spec Ops vide within the Conquest military. Leah’s desire to free them, while noble, might even be remotely what they themselves want. If they’ve been indoctrinated from birth, as I fear they might be, Leah’s actions to liberate them might be nothing more than a reason to take her down
· Anyone else think that the Conquest Emperor is nothing more than a child? Not saying that he’s a puppet king, though that might be the case, but that he’s a teenager in control of a province and that way he uses child soldiers as his direct military servants because he can to some extent trust them since they are roughly his age?
· LEAH POWER PLAYS!!! HOLY SHIT, SUMMONING NIGHTSHADE AND DECLARING HERSELF A SPEAKER LIKE THAT WAS FUCKING INSPIRATIONAL. Her empowerment is so genuine and believable that I 100% believe that she can bend the whole of Apocalypse to her will if she keeps growing in the way she seems to be doing.
· Jolene goes through the 5 stages of grief after she responses “Like she had just been slapped.”
· Lt. Slade is somehow going to end up on top of this situation and I’m just preparing myself to be destroyed next week.
· Leah is being sneaky and learning from the world around her. Good for her. I can’t wait to see what “sealing the deal” could be. Also, what does she plan to do with the Emperor of Conquest.
· WHAT THE FUCK IS CONCLAVE?!?!?!?! THAT’s TWICE SOMEONE HAS MENTIONED IT! Is that where Lt. Slade’s true loyalties lie? Or is it something even more sinister? Who fucking knows, man. I’m just scared for our baby girl Leah.
And that’s it for now. Feel free to add to this, as this is nowhere near complete. If we want to make the most informed decision this time around, we got to keep our thoughts on paper so that nothing is lost or forgotten. I’ll try to release these the day every episode is released. Other than that, I eagerly await your thoughts and Bloodworth’s cryptic additions. See you next week.
A broadcast message to the Rover Council:
We fucked up. Slade played us like a violin. We're so screwed.

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Project Nightlight 8.5 Review and Analysis
Ep. 8.5: Just Some Guys Being Dudes
Well here we are again. It’s always such a pleasure. Remember when Slade tried to kill Leah twice? But in all seriousness, this episode was fantastic as it showed the more vulnerable and downright hilarious side of the enigmatic Lt. Slade with a heap of relevant information and a nice lore dump. So, without further ado, lets dive into the analysis.
· So, we start out with a nervous and anxious Slade wait for some response from the Water Room. He leaves because he thinks he got sold out by Sasha and that’s why he is pursued by her and the Dedlif bois.
· They chasing him; going after the Slade booty
· Slade thinks he’s tough shit like “Yeah I can take on some prepubescent boys. I got this nice Rover-Blade-Sword-thing. What do they got? Rags? Bitch, I can totally cut through some rags. Chill, E.V.i.E. I got this.”
· He don’t got this.
· No one listens to E.V.i.E. She must get real tired of Leah and Slade not listening to her.
· Mighty Morphing Dedlif Soldiers! But in all honesty, that armor is awesome. Cloaked in shadow more like Cloaked in bitchen transforming armor.
· The Dedlif bois made a presumably 30+ Lieutenant of the Rover Military shit himself. Good for them. Show him who boss.
· That mental freak out was pure gold.
· WE’RE JUST SOME GUYS BEING DUDES! I will never not have that run through my mind anytime Slade talks and I have a feeling I’m not the only one.
· But back to the armor of the Dedlif bois. It can control, at least to some extent, the Silt that apparently is under every floor of the Colosseum. Or at the very least, it controls the floor boards revealing the silt.
· I have never been more terrified of 13-14 year old boys
· Sasha is back, and in control. After throwing the gloves at Slade, she plays some mind games with the effects of the gloves. Mental torture. I respect that.
· “Tricks are for wytches.” I’ll get to this is a minute.
· One of the Dedlif boys asks to keep Slade’s sword. I hope to Speaker Prime it was Romulus, or at the very least his little-known younger brother Remus, because you know where there’s a Romulus, there’s got to be a Remus. Sasha’s no fun cuz she says no. Boo her.
· Sasha REALLY wants Slade to move his hands. What did he do to her with those hands, I wonder?
· Sasha mentions Erika and the fact that she’s pregnant, which means Slade can’t be coming by to visit them anymore. Erika is, if I recall correctly, Sasha’s “other half” who “asked about [Slade].” Slade seems to be fond of her, as does Sasha. Sasha uses the phrase “harvest our relationship,” implying that by turning on Slade, she potentially is reaping some reward. Could it be protection for Erika? What I at first though was nothing more than an old friend of Slade’s has now evolved into something more. Perhaps a potential mistress, since de does not seem to see his wife all that often? Who knows. More on this later.
· The formality in which “Cloaked in Shadow” is delivered by Sasha, i.e. with a bow, is just the type of asshole-ish thing I personally would do with someone I double-crossed that I just love it.
· Even when she’s not in the room, our baby girl Leah is running shit. Good for her.
· So, my previous statements comparing Jonah to Neo in The Matrix are practically confirmed with Slade’s comment about how Jolene is controlling him by using the screen on his eyes to make him believe he’s fighting a monster when in actuality he’s destroying the Skyscraper.
· Jolene is salty about being ignored. Ear Girlfriend. Nice touch. Respect.
· Due to the frequency in which people touch their chin and some shit involving silt happens, I can only assume/speculate that every Conquest citizen, or at the very least the one of higher social status and military, have some form of implant in their chin that allows them to interact with silt-based tech
· Slade, eh-stop calling stuff tricks. You’re going to get yourself killed like that, my dude. But speaking of, Jolene does state that Rovers classify Conquest actions as tricks, meaning that this is a common occurrence and could potentially have been happening for a long time.
· No one thinks Leah is the Speaker of Unnatural Origins, but want her to think they do to get what they want. Blah blah Conquest mantra blah blah. What Jolene really wants tho is to have the Dedlif bois to push into Famine territory under the guise of aiding Rover Red as a means of furthering the idea that Rovers are at war with Famine. Isn’t she in for a surprise.
· Slade, much like us after a vote, really wants to die, but since Leah has spoken for him, he can’t. But every time Slade thinks he has the upper hand, he really doesn’t.
· So Slade has kids. You three. You know who you are. Look at you, being important; being woven into the world of Apocalypse. Good for you. The password make sense now. You three are Slade’s weak spot. And you live in War, with Slade’s wife, whom he doesn’t seems too happy about mentioning. In the end, Slade bends to Jolene’s will, as any good father would and ought to.
· Imperium. There it is. Leah’s end goal. Uniting Apocalypse under the banner of Rover Red. We must strive to help Leah achieve this goal.
Now back to the wytches, and by extension the Province of Death. Slade wants to piss Jolene off with his comments, but it brings up some interesting points. First off, he claims that Death and Conquest are similar, much to Jolene’s dismay. Why would he say that, other than trying to get a rise out of Jolene? Rumor has it that there is a death Temple in the Conquest capital. Not church or underground worshiping center, but temple, with all the grandiose connotations that the word entails. If you look at the Pinterest boards of both death and Conquest, at first glance they seem nothing alike. But if you look closely at the design of the temples in the Death board, you’ll see that while some of them indeed look very ancient, other seem like the sort of high-tech temple a futuristic society might have to an alien artifact or an eldritch god. A futuristic, high-tech society like Conquest. The wytch reference pictures look like something straight out of LOTR, but it doesn’t mean their rituals come from that world. Remember, the Rover Elders were united in overthrowing Speaker Prime before the founder of Conquest betrayed them all. Who’s to say that his province didn’t keep in touch with their former allies and trade technology for black magic and ritual. Think of famous people who have been involved in cults. They adamantly deny their involvement, ala Jolene saying Death and Conquest are nothing alike, whilst secretly meeting in the dark of night to participate in their cult’s form of worship. Coming full circle, the wytchs “Tricks” might be nothing more than a form of silt manipulation disguised as magic.
If this episode has taught us anything is that Slade has this mysterious, cool guy persona, but the minute you throw him off balance all that goes away.
Until next time, Rovers
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