#routledge reader

At seven years old, he was loud and reckless as always. Always down to do anything and everything.

His main goal in life was to have a good time all the time and, coincidentally, so was yours.

You matched each other perfectly.

You were the only kid who never got scared when he climbed too high into trees or jumped off the end of piers that were dangerously tall. 

The only one who'd follow him into the marsh barefoot and get mud all over your legs and scrapes on your feet. 

You'd laugh instead of tattle when he stole candy bars from the gas station. Especially when he stole them for you and called himself a provider.

So naturally, the two of you became boyfriend and girlfriend.

Not actually. Just in the silly but also very serious way seven year olds do.

Every time you arrived at Kildaire, JJ would dramatically reunite with you like he'd returned from war, usually by tackling you into the grass and yelling "BABY, YOU CAME BACK TO ME!"

"You're literally so annoying," you'd laugh while pretending to try to shove him off.

But secretly, you loved it. A lot.

"You gotta hold my hand," you informed him one afternoon while the two of you sat on a dock watching tiny crabs run around in the mud underneath.

JJ squinted at you suspiciously. "Why?"

"Because that's what boyfriends do."

"Oh." He considered this deeply before immediately grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers in the messiest way possible. "Okay."

You nodded like this was a completely normal contractual agreement. "Alsoooo... you have to say I'm pretty."

JJ rolled his eyes, ears turning pink. "You're pretty." 

You giggled at this, batting your lashes up at him a little. "Why thank you, Jayj. You mean it?"

"Yeah, I mean it," he grumbled, shoving your shoulder while you giggled harder. But he did mean it. You were the prettiest girl in the world to him.

"Anddd…”

He groaned quietly. "Anddd what?”

"You gotta bring me flowers sometimes.”

"Flowers? Where the hell am I supposed to get you flowers?”

You shrugged. "I dunno. Pretty sure, that's a boyfriend's job to figure out.”

And he did figure it out. And whether they were stolen from some Kook's yard or weeds he picked from the side of the road, as soon as he shoved them into your chest or held them out to you aggressively without making eye contact, feeling absolutely ridiculous, the way you'd thank him and tell them how beautiful they were made his heart swell every single time.

So he kept doing it. Any time he saw something you might like. Even if it meant doing some serious trespassing.

He even almost crashed his bike as he zoomed by a particularly large peony, before nearly crashing again while trying to escape the very angry Kook lady who ran out the door the second she saw him take it.

This game between the two of you became all the Pogue's favorite source of entertainment.

JJ carried your flipflops for you because "boyfriends are supposed to."

You leaned your head on his shoulder during movies because "girlfriends can." ...Which he definitely didn't complain about.

You made him flower crowns from weeds and forced him to wear them while Pope and John B teased him nonstop. But he didn't dare take them off, especially after you called him the 'king of the marsh.'

You gave him a shark tooth necklace that you'd bought with your allowance and made him a bracelet out of white, brown and orange string and he acted like they were the best things in the world– which they really were, because they were from you. 

He never took them off, even after you'd go home.

One time, you kissed him on the cheek before running away down the beach to Kiara in a full on giggle fit, and he stood there frozen for so long John B had to wave a hand in front of his face.

"Dude," John B said slowly, "Are you ok? You still with us? I think your brain broke."

JJ didn't say anything, just took off and chased you down the shoreline afterward, tackling you into the sand while both of you shrieked with laughter.

A few days later, after a bad encounter with his dad that left him with a bruised cheekbone, he held your hand until you stopped crying for him and the two of you laid in the hammock planning your "future." 

A future mostly consisted of living on a boat, traveling the world and eating popsicles and mac n cheese for every meal.

Another day, you talked about what your wedding would be like.

"Can it be at the beach?" he asked while the two of you gathered driftwood for your fort in the woods by the boneyard. "And no shoes allowed?"

You giggled. "Duh."

"Sweeeeet. Because after we dance and whatever, I definitely wanna fish."

"You can't fish at our wedding," you told him sternly.

JJ frowned. "Why not?"

"Because you're the groom. And we have to hang out."

"What's a groom?"

You sighed dramatically. "The guy getting married."

"Oh." He thought about it for a second. "Can John B fish then?"

"No."

"That's stupid."

"You're stupid."

He smirked in that way that annoyed you and made you blush at the same time. "Mmhm, you still want me to be your groom though."

You shoved him hard enough he nearly tipped backward into the tidepool beside you, soaking his boots and socks.

It was all childish and silly and harmless, except JJ never really stopped wanting it to be real. Even when you got older and you both began to joke about it a little less seriously.

He still saved you a seat next to him on the boat. Or noticed when you put lip gloss on or wore the perfume he stole for you, or did your hair different. 

He never stopped telling you that you looked pretty even if he had to follow it up with some sort of teasing afterwards, such as calling you "Shrimp" because you were shorter than him.

He got even more weirdly protective when other boys talked to you. 

In fact, he absolutely hated when other boys talked to you. Became irrationally annoyed to the point where he'd get quiet and unable to focus on anything but watching the way you reacted to what whoever it was was saying.

And the pogues noticed every single time, because they knew JJ liked you without a doubt. 

Bad.

One night, at thirteen, it was two days before you had to go home and JJ was in a foul mood about it as he sat on the dock, mindlessly staring at his fishing line and wishing that you were there that night instead of out to dinner with your mom and her friends.

"Just tell her," Pope said as he baited his hook.

JJ scoffed. "I don't have a crush on her, dude."

Pope grinned. "It's so obvious."

Kiara elbowed him gently. "And she so likes you back, so it's fine. Pope's right, JJ, just tell her."

"Shut up. No it's not. And no she doesn't."

You definitely did. Just as bad.

"You have a cruuush," John B sang, reeling in his line and reaching for the bag of shrimp.

JJ shoved him right off the dock.

But he couldn't deny it, because when you smiled at him, his stomach felt weird in a way no other girl had made him feel before.

Because when you hugged him goodbye every August, he counted down the days until next summer. 

Because no matter how many girls existed in the OBX—in the WORLD—none of them were you and they never would be.

The next day, you and JJ sat crosslegged in your driftwood fort, surrounded by crumpled candy wrappers while he dug through the endless pockets of his cargo shorts.

"Dude," you laughed as he produced another handful of candy bars and threw them in front of you. "How many pockets do those shorts have?"

JJ grinned proudly. "Enough."

"You're actually insane, Jayj."

"I'm a provider," he corrected seriously, tossing you a pack of sour gummy worms. "Boyfriend duties."

You smiled automatically at that, peeling open the package. "You're the best fake boyfriend ever."

He laughed softly, but something in his chest sank a little at the word fake. Still, he covered it quickly with a grin. "Damn right."

The two of you ate quietly for a minute, both immediately thinking about the same thing: About how you had to leave tomorrow.

You sighed, leaning your head back against a piece of wood. "I don't wanna go home. I wish I lived here."

He looked over immediately. "Yeah?"

"This was seriously the best summer ever."

JJ smiled at that, heart squeezing for multiple reasons now. "It was pretty sick." He popped a piece of candy into his mouth. "And next summer'll be even better. I'll make sure next year it's the funnest one yet."

"Funnest isn't a word." You bumped your shoulder against his. "But I can't wait. Seriously."

He smiled harder. "Me neither."

The two of you went quiet again after that.

JJ handed you another chocolate. You took it, set it down and picked up another piece from your pile. 

"Want a kiss?"

He turned so fast he nearly choked. "Huh?"

You blinked at him innocently. "A kiss?"

"Wait… really?"

Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion before realization hit you, then you burst into laughter, cheeks going bright pink. "Oh my god, JJ."

He looked confused. "What??"

You held up a Hershey's Kiss. "I meant the candy!"

JJ groaned, covering his face, which was now even pinker than yours, while you laughed harder.

"You thought—"

"I know what I thought!"

"You looked so scared!"

"I was not scared."

He was scared. And a lot of other things.

"Yuh huh you were!"

He snatched the chocolate from your hand. "Shut up."

You giggled uncontrollably while he unwrapped it aggressively and shoved it into his mouth.

JJ tried not to smile too as he chewed, but he couldn't even help it.

"Have you ever actually kissed anybody?" you asked suddenly, a little quieter.

He looked over at you and shook his head. "Nah."

Which was true. Girls had tried before, but every time, something about it felt wrong, like it wasn't supposed to be them. Like he'd be cheating on you even if your relationship was "fake."

"What about you?" he asked, also nervous of the answer.

You shook your head. "No."

The corner of his lips tugged up a bit in relief.

You began balling up a tinfoil wrapper in your lap absentmindedly. "I kinda wanna know what it's like though."

"Yeah?" he said quietly, trying to sound normal.

"Mhm."

He swallowed. "Is there somebody back home you wanna kiss or something?"

You shrugged and your eyes flicked up at him for a second. "Not really."

His stomach twisted. "Not really?"

You laughed softly. "No. There's not anybody."

Relief filled him again.

You were quiet for another second, then you looked over at him, then down, then back over him again, nerves filling your belly.

"I mean… you're kinda my fake boyfriend so... maybe…" you started, then stopped yourself, shaking your head. "Nevermind."

JJ looked over, sitting up straighter instantly, wondering if you were really gonna say what he thought you were.

There was no way.

"No. What? Say it."

You laughed nervously. "Nothing, JJ!"

"What were you gonna say?"

"Nothingggguh."

"You were definitely gonna say something. Now I need to know."

"You'll make fun of me."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will."

"I swear I won't. What is it?"

You hesitated then huffed out a laugh. "I was gonna say maybe… since you're my fake boyfriend and all, that we could maybe... fake kiss?"

JJ just stared at you, heart suddenly pounding so hard he was pretty sure it was echoing in the fort.

You looked equally nervous suddenly. "But we don't have to! I was kidding. Ha ha! Gotcha!"

"You want me to be your first kiss?" he asked carefully.

"I mean… uh..." You shrugged, cheeks flushing even more. "I mean… sure. Yeah. Why not?"

You both let out soft, nervous laughs.

"You sure?"

"Well yeah." You smiled shyly. "You're one of my best friends. I don't want my first kiss to be some weirdo."

JJ grinned immediately through his nerves. "You call me a weirdo all the time."

You giggled again. "Yeah, but that's different."

He tried to play it cool even though he had never been so flustered in his entire life. He had imagined this moment a thousand times but he never thought it would actually happen.

"Okay," he said casually, voice cracking a little. "We can fake kiss."

You nodded. "Okay. Okay, sweet. Let's do it, then."

Neither of you moved at first, then awkwardly, slowly, you scooted closer together.

"Sooo... how do we do this?" you whispered.

"I dunno, I guess we just do it," JJ whispered back, eyes flicking to your lips. "You've literally never seen a movie?"

You dissolved into nervous laughter again.

JJ smiled helplessly at you for a second before finally leaning in. You followed his lead and met him halfway, lips pressing together gently.

The kiss was soft and stiff and lasted maybe three seconds, but still, butterflies exploded through both of you instantaneously.

When you pulled apart, you stared at each other wide eyed.

"That was weird," you both said at once, smiling a little stunned and lopsided before bursting into laughter immediately afterward.

"You taste like chocolate," he mumbled, smiling embarrassingly hard.

You stared at the ground, unable to look at him now. "You do too."

He scratched the back of his neck, unsure of what to do with himself now. "It was literally a Hershey's Kiss."

You snort. "Literally."

Neither of you stopped smiling.

JJ looked at you for another long second. At your pink cheeks and the way you brushed messy hair behind your ear. Then he flopped dramatically backward into the dirt when he couldn't handle looking at you anymore. "Well. Guess we're basically adults now."

You snorted, lying down beside him. "Maybe I am. You have ways to go, Maybank. Waysss."

He snorted and began the countdown to next summer in his head immediately.

You both walked back to the Chateau after a few minutes and spent the rest of the day trying not to look at each other, because if you did, it was impossible to not feel like your chests were gonna actually explode.

The pogues called you both out on it, saying that you were acting weird when you'd look at each other and burst into quiet giggles, but JJ would just say it was an inside joke and that they wouldn't get it... which made you smile even harder.

The smiles were wiped clean off your faces later that night when you saw your mom's car rolling up the driveway to take you back to the rental.

You hugged Kiara first, then Pope, then John B. Then you turned to JJ.

For once, neither of you immediately joked around like you usually would when you said goodbye. He just shoved his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts and looked at you like a kicked puppy.

"You better come back next summer," he mumbled.

You smiled softly even though your heart ached too. "I will. Why wouldn't I?"

JJ nodded once before taking his hands out of his pockets. Then he grinned crookedly. "Okay, cool, well see ya next year, Shrimp."

You rolled your eyes before stepping forward and hugging him tight.

JJ hugged you back immediately, even tighter. Way too long.

Neither of you wanted to let go.

Then your mom honked lightly from the car, smiling a little too knowingly.

You pulled away. "Bye, Jayj."

"Bye, wifey. Til next year."

You giggled and gave him a little lazy salute. "Til next year."

You climbed into the car and JJ stood in the driveway with the other pogues, watching until you disappeared down the road completely, still tasting chocolate if he thought about it hard enough.

He spent every single day until the next summer thinking about that kiss, replaying it over and over and over and over and over.

And he also listened to Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean over and over and over.

He hoped and prayed you weren't kissing anybody else and that you thought about it too.

You, in fact, were not kissing anybody else. And you did think about it. Every single day.

He made up endless scenarios in his mind about it happening again and finally decided that he'd stop being such a pussy and that next summer he was gonna tell you. 

He had to.

And if, by some miracle, you felt the same way he was going to make enough money to buy you both phones and you would make it work. He'd get his driver's license ASAP and a car and he'd visit you every weekend you weren't in the OBX. Then maybe, if he proved he was good enough for someone as perfect as you, one day you really would have that barefoot beach wedding.

And he wouldn't fish. Wouldn't even think about it. He'd hang out with you the entire time like a good groom is supposed to.

But the next summer, you didn't come back.

At first, JJ thought maybe you were just late. He spent the first week bugging the hell out of John B, asking if he had heard anything about you from his dad.

He tried to act normal about it, but every time a car or bike turned down the road toward the Chateau, he looked up way too fast, heart jumping before sinking again.

By the third week, John B noticed how JJ had been weirdly quiet.

"You okay, man?"

JJ shrugged from where he was sprawled across the hammock. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've asked where Y/N is a thousand times. And then you mope around when I tell you I have no idea."

"I don't mope."

"You definately do."

"Shut up, JB. I'm fine."

Eventually, John B got the answer from Big John.

"She moved. Like... really far away," he said carefully that evening while the Pogues sat around the firepit.

JJ looked up immediately. "Moved where? How far?"

"Argentina... in South America."

JJ blinked, his heart dropping so hard it actually hurt. "What?"

"Her mom got some teaching job there or something."

Argentina. Not another town or another state... Another country.

"Oh," he said after a second. Then he took another sip of the beer his dad gave him for his birthday and leaned back in his chair like it didn't matter at all.

Everybody exchanged sad looks and nobody called him out on it. But later that night, John B found him sitting alone on the dock long after everyone else went inside.

"You good, bro?"

JJ stared out at nothing, eyes glassy. "Yeah."

"You sure?"

He shrugged again, laughing a little under his breath even though nothing was funny about how he was feeling. "She's just gone, dude."

Just gone. No goodbye. No finding out if his daydreams about her could become reality. No way of contacting her.

Gone.

After that, summers kept happening, as they do.

JJ got older. Girls started looking at him more and he quickly realized exactly what his smile could do to people.

There were plenty of girls who wanted him and of course he gave in eventually, as most teenage boys would, but none of them would ever be you. No kiss would ever feel like or mean as much as the one in the fort you built together.

They tasted like alcohol and smoke instead of chocolate.

They didn't inspire him to do something good with his life or dream about a bright future or give him hope that things could get better.

He wondered if Argentina had beaches or if you were still trying to learn how to surf.

He wondered if you ever thought about that one three second kiss you shared. Or if you even remembered it at all. Thought about him at all.

Still, he never took off that damn shark tooth necklace. Or the bracelet. Or took the old pictures of the two of you out of his nightstand. Or the drawings you gave him or the shells you found just for him.

Or the wrapper of the Hershey's kiss that he snagged off the ground before you left the fort.

Five years later, JJ is eighteen and everybody is at the Chateau other than John B and Big John, who is long gone.

JJ walks out onto the porch shirtless, towel slung over his shoulder, hair damp from the shower he just took.

He lives there now, after his dad left for Yucatan leaving him with absolutely nothing.

Everybody looks at him, suspiciously entertained by something.

"Where's John B?" he asks.

Nobody answers. They just look at each other smiling like a bunch of weirdos.

JJ narrows his eyes as he notices. "Why are you all acting weird?"

"He went to pick something up," Pope says.

Kiara presses her lips together, trying not to laugh at that.

JJ squints at him. "Pick what up?"

"It's a surprise," Kiara replies instantly, smiling way too wide now.

JJ looks between all of them. "What kind of surprise?"

Kiara shrugs. "Can't tell you."

"Why?"

"Because then it ruins it."

"What the hell is going on? ...Is it bad?"

"It's not bad," Pope says, laughing.

"You'll probably be happy about it," Kiara adds. "Honestly you might actually lose your mind."

Sarah and Cleo look between each other, extremely excited, having heard plenty of stories about the two of you.

Now JJ's even more confused. "What does that mean? Is it like... a thing? Food? I– what's going on? Come on, give me somethin'. Please."

Nobody answers, they just keep smiling smugly, throughly enjoying every bit of his torture.

"Ok. Ya'll are stressing me the hell out. But whatever." He plops down in lawn chair, closing his eyes and leaning his head back to dry his hair in the afternoon sun like he's not wracking his brain trying to figure out what this "surprise" could even possibly be.

A few minutes later, everybody perks up immediately and JJ's head whips toward the direction of the driveway as they hear the sound of the Twinkie pulling up.

JJ watches suspiciously as John B climbs out of the driver's seat grinning ear to ear.

Then the passenger door opens and a girl steps out.

JJ's brows raise without meaning to and he sits up a little bit.

She's gorgeous. She might possibly be the prettiest girl he's ever seen. And not in a fancy Kook-y way... just absolutely effortlessly beautiful. Even though he can only see her profile.

He doesn't realize that it's you, although there's something weirdly nostalgic about her that he can't quite put his finger on.

What nobody also told him is that you just moved back to NC.

To Kildaire. 

Permanently.

Part 2

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As much as she hated it, Kiara Carrera was physically a Kook. That spontaneous, spitfire attitude didn’t just come from a Kook playing Pogue. She had those roots and the drive to back it up. You realized as much as you sat on her bed, watching as Anna Carrera helped pin a flower crown into the girl’s hair. 

“This is disgusting,” Kie commented as she looked at herself in the mirror. The light purple color blended beautifully amongst the blooms pinned in, despite how much she detested it. 

“I know, it’s horrible. I’m asking you to relax and go to a fun party with your friend.” Anna gave you a small smile, her hands unzipping the dress bag to grab another gown out. 

“I look like a bourgeoisie pig,” Kie continued as she turned to face you with a scowl on her face. 

You shrugged slightly in response. Although Kiara was strongly against going to Midsummers, you were excited in a way. It had taken a bit of thought, because you were originally adamant about not coming. A chance to dress up in clothes you’d never afford otherwise and the opportunity to eat all you wanted with no consequence for one night? Please. You had all the time in the world to hate Kooks the rest of the year. 

“Will you please not worry about socioeconomic injustice for one night? You’re killing the mood.” Anna held out the satin gown from the bag, lightly placing it in your hands. “Kie said this should fit. I hope it’s okay.”

The shock rang in your head at the expensive material between your fingers, and you had to remind yourself to nod. “Ye-yes, wow. Thank you, Mrs. Carrera.”

“It’s Anna, sweetheart. And it’s my pleasure. I don’t think I could’ve gotten Kiara to suffer through it if you hadn’t agreed. Plus, Cassandra and I go way back. I promise she’ll take care of everything.”

You nodded in appreciation, mumbled another thanks before dipping into the bathroom to change. The silky fabric was so smooth and soft under your fingers, it almost felt like it would wash away. Not wanting to make anyone late, you quickly changed and rejoined the mother-daughter duo in the other room. 

Kiara’s mom helped with finishing touches and a flower crown of your own before you guys rushed out the door into the waiting SUV, where Mike was in the driver’s seat. The ride over was quick, with chatter and shared stories between the two adults while Kiara tried to not be so negative about the impending event.

The Island Club was pristine upon arrival, and after Mike allowed the valet to take the keys, the four of you made your way through the decorated entrance. Flowers hung off structures, music played somewhere across the lawn, and the smell of food almost made you nauseous with the thought of the options you’d have. 

“Here.” Kiara grabbed your hand, tugging you away from her parents without another word, and you swore you heard her mom sigh at the quick departure. You followed the girl without protest, nearly stumbling at the awkwardness of the heels on your feet. You hadn’t worn them in years, which was obvious to anyone watching.

You caught sight of where her destination was shortly after. Pope and his dad were manning a food station between the two of them, various seafood options being prepped. Kie nudged your shoulder. 

“Excuse me, sir. Do we have to shuck these ourselves?” She faked an English accent and you almost laughed at how bad it was. Pope turned around in annoyance before realizing who was speaking. 

“We would want that now, would we?” A smile formed across his face as he reached out to do a handshake with her. “That accent was bad.”

“I was gonna let it go.”

Pope looked at you, almost with surprise that you were dressed up like everyone else present. “Aren’t you supposed to be working this clown show?”

You nodded, glancing to where Cassandra was bartending. “Kie’s mom worked some magic. I guess Cass’ daughter owes her and is playing me for the night.”

Things with Pope were at a weird in-between. You’d never really talked about what happened at the golf course, so you weren’t sure where everything stood at this point. The air would be cleared eventually, but you didn’t want to do it here, of all places. 

“Hey, have you heard from JJ?”

Pope asked the question that didn’t seem to leave your head. Kiara hadn’t given much information regarding what happened with JJ, just that he had been arrested that morning and nobody had seen him since.  

The girl next to you shook her head. “No. He’ll be alright. He’s got the survival instincts of a cockroach.” 

She wasn’t convincing in the slightest.

“It’s all my fault,” He mumbled, hands fumbling for something on the grill. He clearly was upset about the whole thing, especially because he was the one who pulled the plug. You knew better, though. Paired with their conversation the other day, JJ was the one telling Pope it was the right move, hence the reason he would offer to take the fall. 

“Your fault that Topper and Rafe almost killed you?” You interjected the conversation, folding your arms across your chest. 

The response was interrupted by clapping behind you. Ward Cameron was entering the event, Rose Cameron on his arm, as Sarah and Topper awkwardly trailed behind the two of them.

“Here comes Lord Capital and the Exploiters,” Kie scoffed, her eyes following her ex-best friend as she crossed the porch out of view.

“She’s definitely gonna poke somebody’s eye out with that,” Pope said, referring to the massive spiked crown on Rose’s head. 

You weren’t watching the Cameron adults, though. Instead, your gaze was on Sarah and Topper, who looked like they were having another heated conversation. Whatever was going on with the two of them made you nervous, more on Sarah’s part. She clearly wasn’t fully trusting of Topper based on previous conversations. 

“I’ll be right back.” You left Kiara and Pope without more of an explanation, your course set on the blonde girl who was angrily leaving the porch to get away from Topper. Rose nearly took you out with her crown when her head turned too fast and you ducked to avoid losing an eye. “Sarah!”

She stopped in her step, a smile growing at the sight of you. “Hey! What are you doing here?” She reached forward and pulled you into an unsuspecting hug. 

You welcomed it, regardless. “Kie dragged me, I didn’t even think about you being here, too.”

Sarah smiled. “Yeah, my dad’s being crowned for something, I don’t know. I tried to bail, but it didn’t work out.”

The sun was beginning to dip over the horizon and you took a side step to keep the glare out of your eyes. “Hey, have you heard from John B at all? DCS showed up yesterday, and I haven’t seen him since.”

She opened her mouth to reply and stopped short. You gave her a suspicious look. She sighed, “Yeah, yeah. We um… we went to Chapel Hill together. He wanted to look at documents from Tannyhill, so I got him in the archives.”

You blinked, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that he had gone to the mainland and just didn’t bother to tell you or make sure you were okay first. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know-”

You shook your head, interrupting her apology. “It’s not your fault, I just didn’t expect that he would leave without telling me, but um… no worries. Did he say where he was going?”

Sarah gave you a sad smile. “No, we separated at the ferry dock and I’ve been home since. I’m so sorry. Look, do you wanna get some food, or-or a drink?”

Glancing back, Kie was no longer near Pope and you didn’t see her anywhere close. You sighed and turned back to Sarah. “Yeah, some food would be nice.”

--

Sarah proved to be good company as the two of you survived your way through the next few hours until the sky turned dark. You’d eaten your fair share of food and even snuck a few drinks behind the adults’ backs if you were careful. 

“Going back to the Cut is really gonna suck after being here,” You joked as the two of you danced under the fairy lights that were tangled in overhead greenery. 

Sarah laughed, jumping on her feet as the song continued, “Glad you’re enjoying life in my bubble wrap.”

Her sister, Wheezie, twirled her way in between the two of you with a giggle as she nearly collided with Sarah again. You had to give credit; Sarah Cameron was a great sister, and you admired the way she treated the young girl. It made your heart ache for that kind of relationship with your brother, but it was so different for you guys. 

“Mind if I squeeze in here?”

Another figure dipped between you and the two siblings, and you stepped back in shock at the familiar blue eyes staring back at you. “JJ?”

He pressed a finger to his lips, one hand reaching out to grab your waist as the other wrapped around your palm. His fingers slid between yours with ease, like it was meant to be there the whole time, and he gently twirled you in his grasp. 

When his hand settled on your waist again, you caught sight of the bruising around his face. The worst of it was by his left eye and down his cheekbone. His lip was split and scabbed over, his whole face swollen. 

Your lips parted at the scene, right hand moving to just barely brush the injury when he winced. “Sorry,” You whispered, eyes burning at his movement. “Are… are you okay?”

JJ tried to give you a reassuring nod, but you knew better. “Looks worse than it feels, honest. One sec,” He paused to lean an arm against Sarah’s shoulder, pulling the girl’s attention. “I got a, uh, note from Vlad.” He slid a small folded paper into her hand, shushing her surprise before he turned back to you like nothing had happened. 

A small smile formed on your face as you watched him with a softness in your eyes that seemed to only be reserved for him. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Didn’t expect to see you here, sunshine,” He teased as the two of you swayed in time with the song. The fabric of your dress was foreign under his hold, and he swore everything around the two of you went silent as he regarded you in this light. 

Everything could be so different if you guys were born on the other side of the island. Events like these, things JJ knew you deserved to experience, would be easy. Taking care of you would be easy, and he wouldn’t feel the need to second-guess everything he did. The two of you could explore a relationship together and he’d make sure he wouldn’t mess up.

But things weren’t that easy, and the Cut held more violence, mistakes, and fuck ups in its future; JJ knew that. He didn’t want to risk that with you near. 

“Oh, if it isn’t the happy couple.” A hand clamped down on JJ’s shoulder and you hated the fear that filled his eyes just for a split second before he realized who was behind him. Rafe Cameron looked pretty smug to interrupt the small moment between you guys as he tugged JJ out of your grip. “I was wondering if you could get me a mai tai my friend?”

“Fuck off, Rafe.” You pulled JJ’s arm gently, the action landing him closer to you so you were between the two boys. “He’s not bothering anyone, so just leave us alone.”

Rafe looked at you with faux belief. “Oh, not bothering anyone? Okay, okay. Except he’s trespassing on private property and quite frankly, he’s disrupting my night. I’m sure the owners would love to know an employee allowed someone to sneak into the biggest night for the Island Club. We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

People were starting to look over at the three of you, especially at Rafe’s loud tone that carried across the space no thanks to his alcohol consumption. You glanced around, suddenly warm with the attention on you as a security guard approached. 

“Is there an issue here?”

“You can’t boot them!” Kiara’s voice ruined any shot at this being handled privately as everyone turned to watch the scene developing before them.

You cursed to yourself as JJ reached over and downed someone’s drink, definitely not helping the situation. The security guard didn’t hesitate to grab onto him, and you moved right when the action got too aggressive. “Let him go!”

“I invited them here, I’m a member of this club.”

JJ whistled, pulling your attention back to him as he reached out for your hand. You took it without question, nearly dodging Rafe’s outburst when he started yelling for security to kick JJ out. The two of you took off running, a smile on your face as you let him guide the way. 

“Rixon’s Cover, mandatory power hour. Let’s roll!” He pointed to Pope as the two of you passed by him, Kiara jumping off the porch to follow.

JJ continued to lead you away from the building chaos behind you and it was then you noticed John B waiting near the HMS Pogue that was docked in the water. He seemed unharmed, with fresh clothes and a huge smile on his face at whatever mess JJ had just caused. 

“Captain.”

“Mission accomplished, sir.”

The two boys saluted each other and you rolled your eyes. Arms crossed over your chest and a straight disappointment on your face, you waited for John B to turn to you. He winced. “Hi.”

“Hi? DCS shows up, you disappear for almost two days, and your only response is ‘hi’?” You seethed.

John B ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, listen, I promise I’ll explain everything just-”

Kiara whooped as she collided with JJ’s back, the blond boy catching her easily and spinning the two of them. Something ugly bubbled in your chest and you looked away before your face read your emotions. 

A quick ride on the HMS Pogue landed the five of you at Rixon’s Cove and the boys went to work getting a bonfire started. You and Kiara settled along the small seating area, the heat helping the evening chill that was setting in. 

“Hey guys, so like… my dad’s already gonna kill me. So what’s this mandatory meeting about?” Pope asked as he threw another log in the fire to keep it going. 

JJ looked over at your brother, who looked like he was hiding the secret of a lifetime. “Might as well tell him, man, before we’re gaffed.”

John B settled into his seat. “So, the gold never went down with the Royal Merchant.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, my God. Here we go again.”

“We searched the ship, there was nothing there-"

“It’s been here the whole time.” John B’s comment shut Pope’s argument down immediately and the older boy had everyone’s attention again. “It’s on the island.”

“Are you serious?”

“I’d like to voice my skepticism.”

“I’m sure you would, Pope, but can I present you with my evidence, sir?”

Pope looked unamused but waved at your brother to continue. “Proceed.”

John B shifted to unzip the backpack at his feet. “Alright, so. In my backpack, I have a letter from Denmark Tanny.”

“Who the hell’s that?”

“Denmark Tanny was a slave that survived the Royal Merchant wreck, check this out,” John B explained as he unraveled a piece of worn paper. “Okay, slaves weren’t mentioned as crew members on the ship, but my dad found the complete manifest. That was his big discovery. So Tanny used the gold from the Merchant to buy his freedom. After that, he bought his farm. Drumroll, please, because that farm is…Tannyhill Plantation.”

Kiara scowled at the name as she passed the paper off to Pope. “Tannyhill?”

John B was quick to ignore her. “Yeah, so after that, he used his money to free even more slaves and then he sold a shit-ton of rice, which pisses off all the white planters, and then, they decide to lynch him. So on the day they were coming to get him, he writes a letter to his son as a farewell, and in the last line of that letter, he leaves a coded message about where to find the gold.”

You gave John B a slightly annoyed look. “Where?” You whispered in faux suspense.

“Harvest the wheat in parcel nine, near the water.”

“Is that supposed to mean something to us?” You replied, leaning back on your hands as you stared up at your brother. 

He frowned at your question. “You know, I don’t like your attitude.”

“And I don’t like long-winded explanations, can you hurry up, bro?”

John B sighed, ignoring you for now. “You see, wheat is code for gold. Check this out.” He walked toward Pope to hold another paper side by side as proof. 

Pope stared at it a moment with his flashlight before murmuring, “Holy shit.”

“All we need is an original survey map of the property, and we’ve found the gold,” John B finally concluded as Kiara laughed in disbelief. 

“Okay, so this might have a small chance of being actually true,” Pope admitted as he scanned the two sheets in his hand. 

“I’m a genius, hey, whoa!” JJ wrapped John B in a massive hug, lifting your brother off his feet. “Hello, fire, fire. You’re near fire, you’re gonna burn.”

“I’m so proud of you right now.”

“Thank you, that’s really sweet of you.”

You shook your head at their exchange. “Okay, so what’s the plan?” 

John B pointed at you as JJ returned him to the ground. “Good question. Sarah Cameron’s coming tonight. She’ll bring an original survey map-”

“Hold on,” Kiara interrupted, “Sarah? Wh-why Sarah?”

You smirked as John B got all flustered and tried to scramble for an excuse. “Um…”

JJ took a seat next to you and pulled his hat from his head before running his fingers through his hair. “This is gonna be good.”

“Sarah, um, she… got me into the archives in Chapel Hill yesterday. That’s where I got the letter.”

“You were in Chapel Hill with Sarah Cameron?” Kiara repeated in shock as she stared up at him.

“Yeah, um-”

“He was mackin’ on her,” JJ added to no avail. You squeezed his knee warningly and he let out a soft laugh 

“I wasn’t macking.”

“You were totally macking Sarah Cameron,” You joined in with a knowing smile as JJ nudged you back.

“I wasn’t macking on her, okay? I was using her for access.”

“There was access, all right.”

Kiara glared at John B. “Did you tell her about the treasure?”

“I was trying to get into the archives?”

“Is that a yes?”

“I left out key details!”

“Yo, what?!” Kiara was yelling now, her frustration very evident as she went eye to eye with John B. “You let a Kook in on our secret? What about Pogue Lyfe, what about the t-shirt company, bro?”

John B raised his hands in defense. “I was just using her for information!”

Kie’s expression dropped. “Why don’t I believe you?”

“I’m trying to make us filthy rich here! Okay? So we can pay off the boat or, or, uh, send you to autopsy school to study dead bodies. Look, you guys know me. Do I look like the type of person to fall for Sarah Cameron?”

You looked up at John B with a sly smile. “Do you really want us to answer that, or…”

“Just, just stop.”

“Look, you don’t know her yet. I do! You can’t trust her!” Kiara argued.

“Her brother did hit me in the back with a golf club,” Pope added as he glanced over at you. 

You winced and leaned forward to place your elbows on your knees. “Rafe and Sarah are different human beings.”

“You’re helping him?” Kie nearly screamed, motioning her hand out toward John B as she looked at you in shock. 

“Oh, they’re best friends now,” Pope pointed to you. “Yeah, she went to a party with Sarah Cameron and all her Kook friends the other night.”

“What!”

You sighed, a hand covering your face. “Not helping, Pope.”

“What is wrong with you two?”

“Okay, we’re not done discussing that, but what exactly did she do to you?” JJ’s question was directed toward Kie, and you were grateful for the change of attention. 

“She’s like a spitting cobra. First, she-she blinds you, and then-”

“This is a bad analogy.”

Kie groaned loudly, “Listen to me! Whatever we get, she’s gonna try to take. You have to believe me.”

John B was looking at you, though. “You went to a party?!” 

“Dude, chill out,” You grumbled back in annoyance, frustrated that this was suddenly your fault. “I went to a party, had a few drinks, and we left, okay? Nothing happened! Sarah was nice to me, I had a good time, and I came home.”

You turned to Pope. “And I’m sorry for what happened on the course that day, but it wasn’t my fault. And I know getting involved with the Kooks is a bad idea, but she feels like a friend to me. Is that such a bad thing, for me to be included for once in someone’s life, for someone to want to spend time with me?”

An awkward, heavy silence fell over the group, and you let your head drop to your hands, mumbling to yourself that they should go back to arguing without you. 

“Look, what’s done is done.” Pope broke the silence, part of him feeling guilty for giving you such a hard time over Rafe’s comment that day at the Island Club. “We have to move forward. If she has the plat map, we need it. That’s the next step, whether we like it or not.”

“Thank you, Pope,” John B replied and set his hands on his hips. “Can we manage that?”

Kie scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Let’s go.”

She got to her feet, brushing the back of her dress for any debris before she started toward where the Twinkie was parked a few feet up. JJ was right next to her, an arm tossed over her shoulder as they spoke. Pope shuffled a few feet behind, still trying to read through the papers John B had given him. 

“Spare me,” You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest before looking up at your brother. “I’m not going to apologize for any of that.”

John B shrugged his shoulders lightly. “Wouldn’t expect you to. Are you okay?”

The question was a loaded one, unfortunately. Your shoulders were tense, and you couldn’t help but look back over where JJ was opening the door for Kiara and holding out a hand to help her in. “Fine.”

John B followed your gaze, catching the moment for himself. “Do…”

“Doesn’t matter,” You whispered and looked down at the fabric covering your legs. The last few days had been emotionally exhausting, and you just wanted to go home. Tears burned your eyes, and you took a shaky breath to keep from falling apart completely. “I just wanna go home, John B.”

For a moment, John B didn’t know what to do. Things had certainly been rocky between the two of you for so long, and you’d made a habit of hiding any vulnerability from him in return. It’d been a while since you turned to him for comfort or were honest about the way you were feeling. He wasn’t sure whether to hug you or keep his distance.

John B wasn’t blind. He knew you and JJ had always been close in a different way than the others. He never really expected it to be anything serious. I mean, JJ flirted with practically anything that had a heartbeat.

But now that he was thinking, JJ hadn’t brought home a hookup the entire summer, which definitely wasn’t like him. And you were more attached to him than you normally were, seeking physical contact in ways you hadn’t before. 

John B pulled himself from the thoughts before he got in too deep. 

“Look, it’ll be fine.” He didn’t know if he was convincing himself or you more. 

You nearly screamed at the uncertainty and lack of comfort from him. You hoped getting more involved with this treasure hunt would slowly mend your relationship, but you were starting to doubt that. Once again, you were left to pick the pieces up by yourself. 

“Yeah.” 

John B watched as you walked away, cursing to himself that he should’ve done more, but didn’t say another word and made his way to the Twinkie. 

--

The drive to Hawk’s Nest was awkward and filled with silence, which was not normal for the van. You had tucked yourself in the passenger seat, leaving JJ, Kie, and Pope in the back as John B drove. You had nothing to say, and evidently, Kiara was too angry to engage in any conversation, so the boys tried to talk amongst themselves.

“Let’s go, boys. A little recon mission,” JJ announced as he tossed open the back door when the van came to a stop. 

John B turned the key in the ignition. “Yo, uh…so I think I’m gonna do this one by myself…” He tried to sound confident in his words, eyes meeting Kiara’s as a point. The girl just rolled hers in return and settled back against the seat cushion.

“Really?”

“What?”

“Nothin’,” JJ replied and sank back to the floor without another word. Thunder rumbled in the distance, as if mocking the group’s turmoil. 

John B didn’t like the lack of enthusiasm. “I just don’t wanna spook Sarah with the circus.”

“I just don’t understand why we’re involving her at all,” Kiara commented with irritation. 

Your brother laughed like it was obvious. “Kie, we’re not involving her, okay? It’s, it’s just uh, like a business meeting.”

You tuned out the conversation, eyes drifting to the lightning in the sky before thunder rattled the air again. Summer storms were always your favorite. The shift in the air, the way the insects and animals reacted, and it was a great soundtrack to soothe your racing thoughts. You just wished you could be curled up under the blankets of your bedroom instead.

John B’s door closed after a few minutes of arguing from his friends, and then silence resumed. You sighed, sinking deeper into the seat as you rested your feet on the dashboard, dress falling across your skin softly with the motion. Tonight felt like a fever dream and you really wished it would end soon. 

“Care to comment, princess?” 

The nickname made your mouth sour ever since Rafe started referring to you like that. You didn’t bother to open your eyes at JJ’s attempt to drag you into their conversation. “Nope.”

The next few minutes went on just like that, with JJ and Pope trying to reason with Kiara to your amusement, and the girl denying all attempts. Rain was starting to fall across the windshield as the sky shifted angrily. 

It wasn’t until a shout filtered through your ears that you opened your eyes to look around. Lightning lit the surrounding area and your body went cold. “Shut up.”

The back of the van went silent, JJ whispering a small what as thunder followed. 

“Please, somebody help!”

The passenger door flew open and you took off barefoot at Sarah’s scream, not bothering to see if the other Pogues were following. You rounded the corner from the open field to see the blonde girl kneeling over your brother, her hands cradling his head as she spoke. 

“Sarah! What happened?” You kneeled on John B’s other side, your hand grabbing his shoulder as he groaned in pain. His eyes were closed, but he was moving slightly. 

“I don’t know what to do, he needs help. Topper shoved him,” She sobbed as she looked at you.

“Where the hell is he?” JJ’s anger took over instantly as he scanned the area for the boy in question. 

“JJ!” You shouted, pulling his focus back to the issue at hand. “Go!”

The fear in your voice was enough to send him and Pope both running to get someone without another word. Your hands were shaking as you sat back on your heels. There was no blood, which was a good sign, but you were worried he could be paralyzed or bleeding somewhere you couldn’t see. 

“John B, please,” Sarah cried, leaning down to kiss him softly. 

You froze in shock but told yourself now wasn’t the time to ask. Kiara nearly choked on air, staring at the duo in either disgust or surprise, but even she stayed quiet.   

The next few hours passed in a blur as you found yourself in the back of an ambulance next to John B, soaking up every word the EMTs and doctors murmured. Sarah met you at the hospital somewhere in between, the Pogues taking the Twinkie with them as you sat in the stiff plastic chair. 

A concussion, broken wrist, and dehydration were repeating in your head as you listened to the heart rate monitor beep consistently next to John B’s bed. Sarah was by his side, her hand in his as her thumb brushed over his knuckles. 

John B had woken up a little bit in the hours between before drifting back to sleep with the help of some pretty strong painkillers. You watched, numb, as people entered and exited in a constant loop to check in on him and explain more details that you would probably forget about. 

Sarah had stayed quiet, the two of you in an understanding silence as the night turned to morning and sunlight filtered through the blinds. You had been hesitant to bring John B here, only pausing with the consideration that DCS would show up at the first notice of his name in the ER.

But this was John B, and you’d rather have him alive and DCS to fight than risk his life. 

“Hi.” Her soft voice made you look up to see John B’s head moving slightly on the pillow.  

“Hi,” He whispered in return, his voice raspy with the lack of use. “Where am I?”

“St. Olive’s,” She answered, “You fell from the Hawk’s Nest. You have a concussion and a broken wrist.”

John B blinked slowly, adjusting to the light before he held his left arm up where a navy cast had been placed. “Whoa.”

“Pretty cool,” Sarah joked with a smile. 

You watched the interaction with a slight pain in your chest. You had been a mess of fucking anxiety all night, and here your brother was, sleepily flirting with Sarah Cameron. 

“I need to get outta here.” John B shifted on the bed and finally caught sight of you. “DCS is gonna find me-”

You looked so small curled up in the chair with a ratty hospital blanket across your shoulders. The emotions had definitely taken their toll on you, with teary eyes and dark circles filling your face; John B knew you weren’t okay. 

“Hang on, there.”

Glancing over, you saw Ward Cameron enter the room in a button-up and slacks like he had an agenda. Sarah had stepped out of the room earlier to call him and update him on where she was, but you never expected him to show up. 

“Sarah told me everything,” He began, eyes looking between the two of you before he approached John B’s side. “About your little adventure, about you running from the DCS, about how you were protecting her in the tower. John, I believe I owe you an apology. You were honest with me about a small indiscretion, and I went ahead and fired you anyway. Unfortunately, from time to time, I have a bit of a…short fuse. Ask her.”

Sarah gave a small nod, slightly joking when she said, “It’s true.”

“I’d like to make up for it, if you’ll let me. I spoke with Sheriff Peterkin, and I’ve offered to be your legal guardian if you’ll both have me.”

Your heart fell to your ass as you took in the words. Ward Cameron, suddenly wanting to be your legal guardian? It felt wrong, it felt deliberate, and you weren’t going to trust it for a second. 

“What?”

“It’d mean a roof over your head and no more runnin’ from the DCS. We can get more into specifics if needed, I just wanted to offer first and foremost.”

“Mr. Cameron, no offense, but you don’t really know us,” You spoke up from your spot, pulling the attention to you. “That’s a lot to offer for some kids across the island.”

Ward nodded. “I understand your concern there, but I promise I mean this wholeheartedly. Sarah told me the two of you are becoming friends and your brother has worked for me for a decent time. Plus, I used to do business with your old man. I think he would be happy to know you two had a trusted adult taking care of you.”

Your gaze flickered to John B’s, but there was no point. He was staring at Sarah with soft eyes and you knew all he was thinking about was being closer to her. 

“John B, can we talk about this?” 

He looked back to you, almost surprised that you were hesitant to agree. “I mean, I don’t-”

“I promise you guys can still have your freedoms. We’ll have some ground rules set, but nothing too crazy. I am pretty flexible on most things, John.”

Head clouded with the sight of the girl ahead of him, John B didn’t even look at you before nodding. “Sure, yeah. Uh…that sounds good.”

“Welcome to the family.”

You wondered if anyone could hear your heart crack in your chest across the room.

--

a/n: muhahhaha this one was fun to write

navigation -- series masterlist

ask me anything

Sarah and Cleo smile at each other, both trying not to laugh.

"Is she what he picked up?" he asks quietly. "Is she the surprise or something? What is this… a blind date?"

Cleo smirks. "Maybe destiny."

He scoffs. "I'm so fucking confused right now. What does that even mean? Please stop being weird and just tell me what's going on."

Before anyone can answer, you glance in their direction, your eyes landing on a familiar messy blond head of hair... that's on a very unfamiliar body... and your smile drops as you take him in, then comes back even wider.

"JJ," you whisper, chest absolutely squeezing.

He looks back over and sees you take off toward him at lightning speed.

"Who the hell is–"

"JJ!" You throw your arms around him so hard you nearly knock him over, squealing so loud he thinks his ear drums might burst.

He catches you on instinct, hands grabbing your waist, and you laugh against his shoulder.

"Hi?" he says, completely thoroughly confused as you squeeze him tighter.

His voice is so much deeper. And you realize he has zero idea who you are which makes you giggle more.

And yeah. Yep. He knows that giggle. 

He pulls back slightly, staring down at your smiling face and you see it hit him all at once.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

JJ's face breaks into the biggest smile anybody's seen from him in weeks. Maybe months. Maybe even years.

"No way," he breathes, hands flying to your cheeks, gently holding your face there.

Yep, that's you alright.

"Holy shit. Y/N."

You beam up at him. "Hi, Jayj."

He laughs in disbelief before hugging you again, tighter this time.

"Holy shit," he repeats into your hair. "It– it's you. What the hell!?"

You squeal again in shock as he lifts you up and spins you like he used to do but... oh lord, he's way stronger now.

Behind you, the Pogues look deeply entertained.

"I told you he'd be happy," Kiara says, smug as ever.

JJ hardly hears her and when he finally lets go, he keeps his hands on your arms like he's making sure you're actually there. Real. With him. This girl he hasn't stopped thinking about and practically mourned all these years.

Your hands find his biceps and you swallow a little because those are definitely not the arms he had last time you saw him.

"You're back? For the summer?"

"Yeah, I'm back." You nod. "I'm back... permanently, actually."

JJ just stares at you, and for a second he honestly thinks he misheard.

"Wait." His hands tighten slightly around your arms. "What?"

You laugh. "What?"

His eyes narrow suspiciously. "Permanently?"

"Oh." Your smile grows. "Yeah. My mom got a new job. We both missed it here a lot."

JJ just stares, processing that information.

"In Durham?"

"Nope. Here."

His eyes go even wider. "Here here?"

You chew your lip, heart bursting at the fact that he's so excited. "Yeah, JJ. Here here."

"On Kildaire?"

You laugh. "On Kildaire. That's where here is, right?"

He opens his mouth, probably to make some smartass comment, but nothing comes out. His brain is way too all over the place to form a proper sentence now.

Behind you, Sarah and Cleo glance at each other again, both trying very hard not to lose it at the fact that JJ's acting exactly how the other Pogues said he would.

And at the fact that neither of them has ever seen him look at anybody the way he's looking at you. Ever.

"No fucking way," he manages.

You scrunch your nose. "Yes fucking way."

"Nuh uh."

"Yuh huh."

"Damn. Wow. So... so like Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall?"

You nod. "Mmhm, we're gonna have plenty of time to catch up."

He breathes out a stunned laugh, letting go of your arms finally and running a hand through his hair before shaking his head in disbelief. "Guess so."

Kiara snorts loudly. "Oh, girl, we have a lot to catch up on. You have no idea."

You look over at her, very intrigued. "Oh yeah?"

Pope nods, very very seriously. "Oh yeah."

"A shit ton," John B adds.

You look back at JJ. Then your eyes flick down and your jaw drops when you notice the shark tooth dangling from his neck. "Wait... No way."

He follows your gaze.

You reach up and run your thumb along the tooth. "Is this the necklace I gave you?"

He nods, melting at the feeling of your knuckles brushing against his chest. "Oh. Yeah. Told you I loved it."

Sarah and Cleo exchange another surprised glance with each other, realizing where the necklace that they've never seen him take off came from.

Everybody feels like they're watching a soap opera unfold in real time.

"This too," JJ mumbles, almost embarrassed for some reason as he fidgets with the worn and faded bracelet that has barely left his wrist over the last few years.

You gasp and poke your bottom lip out a little. "Holy shit."

He stares at you another second too long, because you've changed so much it makes his head spin a little. Because you were always cute, but now...

"You got tall," you say suddenly.

JJ smirks, a little dopey. "Yeah, that happens."

You roll your eyes, smiling. "Oh wow, still a smartass. That hasn't changed, huh?"

"No, it has not." John B chimes in and everybody nods in agreement.

Again, JJ doesn't hear a word they say.

You glance down again without meaning too, unable to help yourself. "Damn. When did that happen? You got kinda… ripped."

JJ looks down like he forgot he was shirtless. He tries not to grin at that and fails miserably.

John B slides a hand down his face. "Don't tell him that."

Sarah smiles. "Too late."

JJ flexes one arm dramatically. "Oh, these ol things?"

You burst out laughing. "Oh my god."

He flexes harder. "Yeah, I just be… doin' stuff. Just kinda happened. Always told you it would."

You roll your eyes hard and it only makes him smile more. "Still cocky as hell too, I see."

He shrugs. "Just stating facts."

You're both quiet for a moment, just taking each other in as the Pogues laugh quietly around you. Your smiles soften a little as more and more memories come rushing back.

"You look…" He shakes his head once, grinning as he tries to find the words. "Different."

You look down at yourself now. "Good different or bad different?"

He shakes his head again, quicker. "Not bad different."

Your cheeks warm and JJ feels heat crawl up the back of his neck at the way your eyes glitter up at him. Which is ridiculous because he doesn't get nervous around girls. Ever. But you're looking at him all warm and familiar and happy, and suddenly he feels thirteen again.

"I can't believe it's actually you," he says softly.

You shake your head slowly. "Me neither."

After another second of just looking at each other, he grins again like he caught himself being serious for too long.

"Sooo Argentina, huh?"

You laugh. "Yeah."

"How was that?"

"Hot. Loud. Kinda crazy."

"Sounds familiar."

You tilt your head as you look up at him in that way that always drove him crazy. Might drive him even crazier now. "You still surf?"

"Obviously."

"You still a psycho?"

All the pogues chime in.

"Yep!"

"He's still a disaster."

"He steals a little less now though so that's good."

"Oh my god." You shake your head, laughing harder as memories of all his little 'free 99' gifts come rushing back. "That is good."

Before you can stop yourself, you throw your arms back around him.

He hugs you back gently, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt.

"I missed you," you say into his shoulder.

His chest squeezes again. "Yeah?"

You nod against him.

"I missed you too," he says instantly, like he'd been waiting five years to be able to say that.

You finally pull back and glance toward Sarah and Cleo. "Oh my god. I haven't even introduced myself. Sorry!"

They both laugh and shake their heads.

"All good, girl," Cleo smiles.

You walk over and pull them each into a quick hug.

"Hi. I'm Y/N."

"Cleo."

"Sarah."

Then you smile at Sarah. "I can't believe it took me this long to meet John B's wife."

Sarah smirks and points between you and JJ. "I was literally about to say the same thing."

Your hand flies over your mouth and you burst out laughing once again.

JJ's face goes bright red. "Oh my god."

Everybody starts cackling, all having been wondering when somebody was going to bring it up.

Pope nearly doubles over. "You two are still together right?"

"Stop," JJ grumbles.

Kiara is laughing too hard to stand properly.

"What? You had no problem calling her that five years ago. You'd go around telling random people–"

"PLEASE stop."

You can barely breathe from laughing. While JJ looks like he wants to launch himself directly into the marsh and never come out.

John B rolls the cooler over and starts handing out beers. You take one happily and crack it open. JJ snatches it out of John B's hand, still unable to look at anybody.

John B raises his own dramatically. "Ladies and gentlemen. Today is a historic occasion."

"JB," JJ groans.

"I'd like to propose a toast in honor of the return of JJ Maybank's wife, my little cousin Y/N."

Everybody immediately raises their drinks.

"To JJ's wife!"

"To JJ's wife!"

"To JJ's wife!"

You nearly choke laughing, realizing that you missed the teasing more than you care to admit.

JJ drags both hands down his face. "Ya'll are something."

But when both of you look back over at each other as you sip your beers, neither of you can help but smile.

Everybody spends the rest of the day eating, drinking, laughing and catching up with you.

The Pogues' stories never seem to end. One ridiculous adventure turns into another, and every time you think they've finally told you the craziest thing that's happened since you left, someone else jumps in with an even crazier story.

"Dude, what the hell?!" you say to JJ, still coughing from choking on your beer as everyone finishes one of the most insane stories yet. "So let me get this straight... Your plan was to steal an ambulance…" You cough again. "...to break John B out of jail... but it all ended up being for nothing because he was already gonna get out?"

"He wasn't supposed to be in there. Had to free my boy," JJ says casually, shrugging.

You stare at him. "That could've gone so bad."

An overly proud smirk grows across his face. "But it didn't."

You shake your head slowly. "I wouldn't have even done that for him."

John B barks out a laugh. "Aw, thanks, cuz."

You roll your eyes as he reaches over and squeezes your shoulder. Then look over at him, a little more serious, but soft. "I'm glad everything worked out in the end though. My mom and I were scared shitless for you. We knew you would never do what they said you did."

At some point you find yourself on the HMS Pogue, laughing so hard your stomach hurts while everybody argues over whose version of events is actually correct.

Every now and then you catch yourself just looking around at all of them, unable to believe that you're back here with everybody. And happy beyond words about it.

JJ finds himself doing the same thing, but just at you. And not just because he's happy his friend is back, but because the second that you had begun pulling off your clothes, revealing the tiny bikini you had on underneath, he realized that he was beyond screwed. He already knew this but now it was way worse.

You definitely aren't thirteen anymore.

And apparently neither is he.

"Dude," Pope said to JJ, quiet enough for only the boys to hear, when he caught him staring for the billionth time.

JJ nearly jumped. "What?"

Pope smirked and shook his head. "Nothing."

"Then shut up."

John B glanced between them and immediately started grinning too.

JJ groaned and grabbed the nearest drink, eyes flicking up to you again accidentally as he sipped it, then back down.

Neither of them let him live it down for the rest of the afternoon while you stayed completely unaware.

But you keep sneaking glimpses at him too.

And when you're not thinking about how painfully hot JJ got, you're thinking about how different everything could have been if you hadn't had to move away. About the fact that you might've been right there beside them through all the craziness.

But then JJ catches your eye from across the boat and flashes you one of his familiar crooked grins and suddenly it doesn't feel like you've missed anything at all.

By 1 am, everyone has gone to bed except you and JJ, who still have too much excitement still buzzing through your veins. Too many emotions and memories and things to process.

JJ had let you sleep in his room while he slept out on the porch couch.

You decide to try to sneak outside to get some fresh air, maybe lay in the hammock. But as soon as you quietly open the front door, you see JJ still awake, sitting up and smoking a freshly rolled joint with his feet propped up on the coffee table.

His heart jumps and a slow smile spreads across his face. "Couldn't sleep either?"

You laugh. "Not even a little."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah." He pats the empty spot beside him. "I was getting bored."

You laugh quietly and sit on the couch next to him, hugging your knees to your chest.

He holds the joint out to you and you take it, fingers brushing briefly in the process.

And you both feel it. That feeling that you've been getting all day any time you've made even the smallest bit of physical contact.

You inhale slowly, leaning back against the cushions as smoke curls into the humid air.

Your knee bumps his accidentally as you adjust to get more comfortable, then stays there.

You both smile a little to yourselves. About how it feels to be so close again, but also how comfortable everything still is after all this time.

Even if you both make each other more nervous than ever.

Thirty seconds later JJ looks down at your knees and gently nudges you.

The corner of your lips curl before nudging him back harder.

Then he nudges you back again.

You laugh quietly. "Seriously?"

"What?" 

"You still do that."

"You started it."

"Whaaat?" You snort. "I did not."

"Whatever you say, Shrimp."

The nickname makes you choke on the smoke and he loses it, plucking the joint from your fingers and patting your back as you die for a second.

"That's it, let it out," he teases.

You punch him lightly in the side. "Not 'Shrimp'. Oh my god." You laugh more through your choking "I'm not even that short anymore."

"Still shorter than me."

You giggle, glassy eyes narrowing as they flick up to him for a second. "Yeah. True."

You both sit in comfortable silence again after that, still smiling to yourselves.

JJ takes another hit before passing the joint back over. His fingers linger this time, just for a second, and the same electric feeling happens again.

"You know... I was actually kinda pissed at you."

You blink over at him. "Me?" 

"Yeah."

"For moving?"

"Mhm."

You tuck one leg beneath yourself. "I was thirteen, JJ. I didn't exactly coordinate the international relocation."

"I know," he says, laughing softly. "Still. I was really bummed. More bummed than mad… way more."

The honesty catches you off guard a bit. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." JJ looks out toward the yard instead of at you, twirling the joint between his fingers.

"When John B told me you moved to Argentina, I thought he was messing with me at first." He shakes his head. "Like who even moves to Argentina from NC?"

You laugh softly and lean the side of your head against the back of the couch as you stare up at him. "Apparently me."

He looks back at you finally and almost freezes when he sees the way you're looking at him. All cozy and sleepy and probably the most adorable thing he's ever seen. He has to look away again.

"Five years is crazy," he says quietly, something unexpectedly vulnerable in his voice.

You study him in the dim porch light: The messy blond hair. The tanned skin. The sharp line of his jaw that definitely wasn't there when you were kids. The way he's changed so much, but somehow not at all.

JJ glances back over, catching you staring. "What?"

You smile faintly. "Nothing."

His lips twitch. "Liar."

Yours do too. "I just missed you. A lot. You were like... my best friend. We had so much fun."

He laughs quietly, then smiles so hard the corners of his sleepy eyes crinkle a bit. "Missed you too."

"I honestly cried so much when I realized I wasn't gonna get to look forward to seeing you all year."

Your own honesty catches you off guard now.

JJ goes still beside you, then he looks back over, big blue eyes full of disbelief, because that's exactly how he felt. "You did?"

"Obviously." You bump your foot against his again. "You were one of the best parts of my summer."

His expression softens in a way you don't think you've ever seen before, like the words genuinely mean a lot to him.

"You were mine too." He takes another hit and exhales. "And to be honest... I mighta cried a little too."

Your eyebrows raise. "Really?"

Embarrassment hits him quick as he realizes what he said. "I–I mean–not like–" he shrugs quickly and tries to look as nonchalant as he can manage with everything he's feeling right now. "Just a few manly tears. No big deal. Kinda just felt like you died, y'know?!"

You go into a full on giggle fit at his defensiveness, leaning your head on his shoulder, which makes him smile helplessly again.

"JJ Maybank cried about me moving? What an honor."

He scoffs. "Whatever. It just felt weird ok?"

You squeeze his hand. "Don't be embarrassed."

"Pffft, what?! I'm not embarrassed."

You look up at him. "Your cheeks are pink."

"It's hot outside. And I drank a lottt of beer."

"Yeah, ok, whatever you say JJ." You burst into more giggles, sitting up straight again. "Besides," you say, bumping his shoulder, "I've seen you cry. Hard."

His eyes narrow instantly, already knowing what you're about to bring up. "Shut up."

A wicked grin spreads across your face. "Like when you sobbed during Marley & Me."

JJ throws his head back. "Oh my god. You were crying too!"

"You were ugly crying."

"I was not."

"There was actual snot involved."

"The dog died! Of course I was crying!"

You laugh so hard you have to grab his arm to stay upright.

"You'd have to be a sick fuck not to cry. Like a whole ass sociopath."

You completely lose it, head dropping to his shoulder again. "I'm not judging you, Jayj, chill out!"

He just shakes his head, unable to stop smiling, himself. Because, god, he forgot how easy and natural talking to you was. Like no matter how many years passed, the two of you somehow still fit together exactly the same way.

"So," you say after a minute after regaining your composure. "Good news for you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Now we can be best friends again."

"That right?"

"Mhm."

JJ leans back deeper into the couch cushions, staring up at the porch ceiling like he's trying not to smile too hard. "Cool."

"Agreed."

"Best summer ever starting now?"

You bite your lip and your eyes flick to each other's at the same time. "You did promise me that last time I saw you... That the next one would be the best one."

"Guess I better keep my promise."

He holds out his hand and you do the pogue handshake like it's muscle memory.

"Best summer ever woogity woogity baby!"

"Woogity woogity baby!"

The conversation drifts after that to something easy and slow and sleepy.

You tell him crazy stories about Argentina.

He tells you more ridiculous things that happened while you were gone.

At some point your eyelids start getting heavy and you yawn suddenly, covering your mouth.

JJ glances over. "Damn, girl. You're done."

"I'm not done."

"You just yawned like somebody's grandma."

"I'm sleepy."

"Old age."

You shove his arm weakly. "Shut up, we're like the same age."

He laughs quietly.

You sigh as sleepiness overtakes against your will. "Yeah no, I should probably go to bed."

JJ nods once, a little reluctant. "Probably."

You sit there for a second then finally stand, stretching a little.

His eyes flick upward. Your t-shirt rides up slightly at the edge and he immediately looks away again.

You miss it completely.

"Night, Jayj," you mumble softly.

"Night, Shrimp."

"Oh my god." You snort weakly, smiling at him one last time. "See you in the morning."

Warmth fills him completely at the sound of that. "See ya."

You disappear into the house, the screen door creaking shut behind you, and silence settles over the porch again.

JJ stares blankly at the doorway for a long moment, then he slowly flops backward onto the couch cushions, dragging both hands down his face.

"What the fuck," he mutters to himself.

Because you're back. Actually back.

For good.

And somehow within less than a day, it already feels like you've slid perfectly back into place in his life. Like the last five years barely happened at all.

And you're still the most beautiful girl in the world. But now, like, the adult version.

He stares up at the ceiling, unable to stop smiling like an idiot once again. His face physically hurts at this point, but he barely notices.

Then he groans quietly into his hands because he is so unbelievably screwed and it's not even funny.

Part 3

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩𖦹⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Across the beach, Rafe, who was actually pissed now, had stopped watching and was getting clowned brutally by the other Kooks over the fact that you had chosen JJ Maybank over him.

But the two of you had forgotten he existed at all.

For a second, you just stood there staring at each other, lips swollen and still a little tingly.

JJ cleared his throat.

You immediately looked away, smiling. Then looked right back.

"Sooo..." you said quietly.

"So," JJ echoed, shoving both hands into his pockets.

You copied him, stuffing your own hands into the pockets of your dress. "Good talk."

JJ barked out a laugh. You nodded. Then silence settled again.

His eyes flicked down to your dress. "Your dress has pockets... that's pretty cool."

He had no idea why he said it. He just didn't know what else to say.

Neither of you did. Because now there was this thing sitting between you... this huge obvious thing that neither of you seemed brave enough to mention yet.

You giggled at how awkwardly he said it, looking down at your dress. "It does. That's why I got it."

You were quiet for another second, just smiling at each other stupidly, then JJ rocked back on his heels. "Guess we should go back to everybody. Our work is done."

"Guess so."

You both started walking back, trying to regain control of your faces. Then after about four steps, you glanced over to see that he was already looking at you and you immediately smiled.

He smiled back.

Yeah. That was real.

When you got back to the Pogues, they were probably more quiet than you had ever seen them... and they were all staring holes through the two of you, matching stunned and thoroughly amused looks on every single one of their faces.

You both plopped down on a log beside each other and immediately reached for your drinks in perfect synchronization, just to have something to do with your hands.

You finally gained the courage to look up at them.

"What?" you asked, your voice coming out a little higher than you intended.

John B let out a loud scoff.

Kiara's jaw dropped. "Did you seriously just ask that?"

You just smiled and sipped your drink. "Yeah."

"I dunno, maybe we're all staring at you because you were over there practically eating each other's faces." John B shrugged. "I dunno. Just a theory."

Your eyes flicked over to JJ for just a second, heart swelling when you saw him grinning, proud as ever.

"Were we?" he asked.

Pope nodded slowly. "Oh yeah."

Your cousin's face twisted. "Yeah, you were practically shoving your tongues down each other's throats. In front of the entire beach."

JJ's grin grew as he stared at the sand. "My bad, JB."

He snorted like he didn't love it, but he approved. He knew JJ genuinely cared about you and that's all that mattered to him. He'd much rather rather JJ have you than some Kook. "All good, bro."

"Had to make it look real for Rafe," you said, shrugging a little.

Everybody exchanged glances, not believing that for one goddamn second.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Sooo you're telling us that wasn't real?"

"Ain't no way," Cleo mumbled with a tiny smirk.

Neither of you said anything now. You both just glanced over at each other in a soft, questioning way that said everything without saying anything at all.

You looked away and stared at your half eaten s'more in the sand, unable to wipe the smile off your face. "It was for Rafe."

JJ nodded. "Yup."

Everybody left you two alone about it after that.

And for the next half hour, you didn't make any boyfriend girlfriend jokes or play pretend. Because now, whatever was going on between the two of you didn't feel like pretending at all. Not one bit.

You just drank and ate s'mores as your friends carried on talking like the two of you weren't actively losing minds.

Every single time you glanced at JJ, he was already looking at you out of the corner of his eye. And every single time that happened, both of you would smile without meaning to.

Then look away.

Then end up looking back, holding eye contact for a moment like you were waiting for the other to do or say something about it.

It felt so ridiculous and obvious that you felt like you were stuck in some strange in between space: Not just friends. Not exactly anything else yet.

Just whatever came after kissing your best friend senseless, pulling each other closer like you couldn't get enough and making small sounds into each other's mouths that could only mean that you were enjoying it.

At one point, JJ rested his hand on the log and his fingers brushed yours. Then it stayed there.

You both looked down, feeling the immediate electricity, and for a second JJ just stared at where your hands were touching, almost like he was waiting to see if you'd pull away.

When you didn't, the corner of his mouth twitched upward. Then, carefully, he nudged his pinky against yours once. Then twice.

Your stomach flipped and a stupidly soft little smile spread across your face before you could stop it, because it felt like confirmation.

Finally, you decided to do something about it.

"Hey."

"Hm?"

Your eyes met and suddenly you forgot every single thing you were about to say. You looked away toward the fire and tried to regain your composure. "Have you ever been back to the fort?"

"No," he admitted quietly.

Your eyes found his again. "Really?"

He shook his head. "Nah."

"Why not?"

One corner of his mouth lifted, then disappeared. "I dunno."

You knew that was a lie.

After a second he shrugged. "Guess it kinda bummed me out after you left."

Your heart squeezed. You sat there for a moment, gaining courage, then swallowed. "Do you wanna go?"

JJ's eyes immediately lifted to yours.

You held his gaze.

His heartbeat kicked up.

"Yeah," he said softly. "Sure."

You smiled. "Okay."

"Ok." He smiled back. "Let's go."

As soon as the two of you began walking away, five pairs of eyes immediately followed.

"Called it," Kiara whispered.

"Absolutely called it," Sarah whispered back.

John B watched the two of you, looking disturbed and proud at the same time.

The walk through the woods felt surreal. Partly because you were both a little drunk and partly because neither of you had any idea what was happening anymore.

JJ used the flashlight on his phone to light the path ahead of you while the two of you stumbled through the darkness, laughing every few minutes whenever one of you almost tripped over a root.

"You're drunk," JJ informed you.

"You’re drunk."

"I am."

Your giggle was cut off as you tripped over a particularly large stick.

"Shit–"

Before you could fall flat on your face, JJ's hand shot out and caught you around the waist.

You looked up at him.

He looked down at you, forgetting to take his hand back.

"You good?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah. Thanks."

You smiled at each other for a second, faces illuminated by the flashlight. His eyes dropped to your lips for two long, painfully noticeable seconds. 

"Ok." He let go of you and turned abruptly, beginning to walk again. "Onward."

You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself.

A few moments later, you saw it and stopped dead in your tracks. "Oh my god."

JJ smiled at the fort, a little wide eyed, then you.

It was smaller than you remembered, but it was still there. 

You walked toward it slowly and JJ followed with the light. "I can't believe it."

"I honestly figured Hurricane Agatha would've taken it out." JJ admitted. "I thought about it when that storm hit."

You laughed softly. "You did?"

"Yeah." He ran a finger along the old, weathered wood. "Guess we were better little architects than we thought."

"Damn right we were."

He pointed the light towards the entrance and gestured inside. "After you."

"Thank you, sir."

He watched you crawl inside, heart rate spiking, and shook his head as flashes of the last time began to intrude his mind.

He followed you in and the flashlight swept across the interior.

Another laugh escaped you as you looked around, because the place was practically frozen in time: Old faded candy wrappers sat tucked into corners. A pile of seashells. Some old pieces of rope. A half full water bottle. A crumpled beer can that you and JJ had stolen from his dad and split with you.

Little traces of two kids who had spent entire summers hiding out here.

"Holy shit," you whispered. 

JJ laughed. "No freakin' way."

The two of you dropped down onto the floor across from each other. JJ set his phone flashlight on its side between you and suddenly the fort filled with soft yellow light.

For a second, you just looked around the fort, reminiscing on all the good times you'd had there.

It all felt so crazy.

The last few weeks. What just happened on the beach. The fact that you were both right back where you'd left off all those years ago.

"This is crazy," JJ said suddenly.

You looked over at him. "Little bit."

"This is... weird."

"This is so weird."

Your eyes stayed on his, then you both laughed quietly. Then suddenly it faded like you were both thinking the exact same thing but neither of you knew who should say it first.

JJ rubbed the back of his neck. "So..."

You smiled immediately. "So."

He laughed, obviously nervous, then looked around. "You just wanna come out here and see the fort?"

The smile on your face turned shy. "No."

His stomach flipped. "No?"

You shook your head, then stared down at your hands for a second. "I gotta tell you something... please don't be mad."

His brows furrowed in confusion. "What? ...What is it?"

You giggled. "This morning I uh... I had a headache... So I was looking for Tylenol or something."

His eyes narrowed. "Okay."

"In your nightstand."

JJ groaned immediately. "Oh god."

"And I found that box."

He covered his face, laughter coming out a little embarrassed.

"I wasn't snooping," you said quickly. Then you shook your head at yourself. "But then I kinda was."

He peaked over at you, wincing, then stared at the floor.

"I saw the wrapper... The Hershey's kiss wrapper."

Neither of you spoke for a few seconds, then JJ let out a quiet breath. "Did you think that was weird?"

You shook your head quickly. "No."

He looked over at you.

You smiled. "I thought it was sweet."

His eyebrows raised. "You did?"

You nudged his foot with yours lightly. "It made me really happy... that you kept everything."

Relief filled him instantly.

"Why did you keep it?"

He laughed, not because it was funny, but because he suddenly felt very exposed. "I don't know."

You gave him a look. "That's a lie."

He nodded weakly. "Just wanted to remember it... Felt... special."

You stared at him for a second.

"Was I special?" you asked softly.

JJ looked over immediately, like the answer was obvious. "Yeah," he said quietly. "You are. You've always been special."

You almost felt dizzy for a second at the confession. You scooted a little closer without thinking about it.

"Really special?"

He nodded. "Really special."

You both swallowed as you stared at each other. 

"What about the kiss today?"

JJ's eyes flicked down to your mouth, then back up. "What about it?"

"Was that special too?"

His lips twitched. "What do you think?"

Your stomach fluttered. "I thought it was."

The smile faded from his face and the way he looked at you now was dizzyingly soft. Like you were actually everything to him now. Like there were a thousand things both of you suddenly understood without having to say them.

"Yeah... I thought so too."

You reached out, carefully intertwining your fingers with his.

He looked down at your hands, heart pounding now.

You scrunched your nose, teasing. "Your hands are sweaty."

He huffed out a laugh. "You're kinda makin' me nervous."

You giggled. "I'm making you nervous? Me?"

He rolled his eyes, smiling absolutely helplessly. "Yeah, you."

"Why? You got a crush on me or somethin'? You wanna really be my boyfriend?"

JJ answered that without a second thought. "More than anything."

The words came out so easily that neither of you seemed prepared for them. But he wasn't joking. And he wasn't looking away either.

"Okay," you said quietly.

JJ's heart immediately tried to punch its way out of his chest. "Okay?"

You squeezed his hand. "You're my boyfriend then."

He stared at you like he didn't believe it. "Wait… for real?" he mumbled.

"For real." You nodded seriously. Then a grin spread across your face. "But just so you know, there are requirements." You held up a finger. "Number one, you have to tell me I'm pretty at least–"

"Come here."

Before you could finish your very official list of boyfriend duties, JJ caught your face between his hands and pulled you toward him. His lips found yours and you were both smiling too hard to even kiss properly at first. You tried but you both just laughed into each other's mouths.

JJ shook his head against your lips. "You're so ridiculous."

"You like it." 

"I really do."

You scooted closer and the kiss deepened quickly. His hand tangled into your hair like it had earlier. You hummed quietly into his mouth.

"You still taste like chocolate," he murmured breathlessly.

"So do you." You pulled his face back to yours before crawling into his lap and settling there without breaking it the kiss for even a second.

His hand slid to your waist to hold you there. "Oh, hey girl."

"Hi," you whispered.

You kissed him hard, tongue tangling with his, humming once against his lips, your hand sliding into his hair now.

Your hips moved against him once and JJ groaned softly into your mouth, very quickly hardening underneath you. The noise and the way he was pressed between your legs sent heat straight through your entire body.

His hand slid past your hips to grip your ass and guided you towards him again, making you whimper softly.

You pulled back to look at him, nose still brushing his. "JJ?" you whispered.

"Yeah, pretty girl?"

"I want you."

He just stared at you for a second, throat bobbing as he swallowed. "Yeah?"

You nodded.

A soft grin spread across his face. "I want you too, Shrimp."

Your stomach flipped but you couldn't help but giggle at the nickname. "You really gonna call me Shrimp right now?"

He let out a quiet laugh and shook his head. "Sorry. Force of habit."

You smiled. "It's ok."

"So... you wanna walk back to the Chateau or..."

You tilted your head. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

You looked around the fort. "I mean... why not right here? Seems appropriate to have another first here. Seems like it's kinda our thing."

JJ barked out a laugh. "You wanna...y'know… in the dirt?"

You chewed on your lip, smiling a little more playfully now. "Wouldn't be the first time we played in the dirt."

He laughed again, shaking his head like he couldn't believe that you'd just said that. Then he stared at you for a second, just taking you in: How adorable you were perched on his lap, finally all his. How gorgeous you were. The way that your glossy eyes shined in the moonlight.

His hand came up to brush a messy strand of hair behind your ear. "You sure you want this? ...Sure you want me?"

You immediately frowned at the fact that he'd even ask that. "JJ. Of course I do." You gently cupped his face in your hands. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you."

His heart squeezed painfully. "Yeah?"

You nodded. "Yeah."

You kissed him again and he lifted you before carefully lowering you onto your back in the leaves... accidentally hitting his head on a piece of driftwood in the process.

"Shit. Ow."

"You okay?" you giggled.

He rubbed the back of his head, wincing a little. "This fort’s a goddamn death trap," he muttered, already lowering himself over you, elbows sinking into the ground on either side of your shoulders. "Five years later and the architecture's gone to shit."

You shrugged, smiling. "Maybe you just got taller."

"Maybe you just got heavier."

You gasped. "JJ!"

"What?! You technically did? So did I!"

"Well… true."

You both burst into giggles and he grabbed his phone to turn off the flashlight. Then he was kissing you again and the laughter dissolved into quiet hums.

The weight of him settled between your thighs and when you felt him, hard beneath his shorts, your hips lifted without permission, seeking friction.

JJ made a sound against your mouth and his hand found your jaw, thumb tracing the edge of your lip as he pulled back to look at you.

"You have no idea how many times I thought about this," he said, voice rougher now. "Every single goddamn day since you got back."

Heat bloomed in your chest. "Yeah?"

"I’m serious." His thumb dropped to your chin, tilting your face up. "What happened on the beach earlier... thirteen year old would be losin' his damn mind. He was a mess over you."

You couldn’t speak. Could barely breathe past the ache in your throat.

He kissed the corner of your mouth. "He still is." Then your jaw. Then the sensitive spot just beneath your ear and your fingers curled into his shirt, a shaky exhale escaping your lips. "This okay?" he murmured against your skin.

"Yeah. Yes."

His teeth grazed your earlobe and your back arched. A soft, startled whimper slipped out and you felt him smile against your skin.

His mouth traced a slow path down your neck, tongue flicking against your pulse point, and your hands slid into his hair. You tugged a little and he groaned, the vibration buzzing against your collarbone. Then his fingers hooked the strap of your dress and bikini top and tugged it down.

He gripped your exposed breast gently as he sucked your nipple between his lips. Your grip on his hair tightened as his tongue circled the peak.

"JJ–"

He pulled back, breath warm against the wet skin. "Like that?"

You nodded, humming softly as he did it again.

His hand slid your dress up over your stomach, bunching the fabric around your waist before his fingers traced the edge of your bikini bottoms, light and teasing enough to make your thighs tremble.

"You’re shakin'," he said, smiling at the fact he could make your body react like that.

"Because you’re being slow on purpose."

He laughed, and the familiar sound of it cracked something open inside you because this was still JJ. Still the boy who used to catch crabs and chase you with them and who taught you how to gut a fish. 

Still your best friend.

"Patience, Shrimp."

"Oh my god. Again?"

"What, you thought I was gonna be smooth now? Disappointed?"

"Devastated."

His grin flashed in the dark. Then he kissed a soft, open mouthed line down your stomach and your teasing dissolved into a gasp.

His fingers hooked the fabric of your bottoms, pulling them aside. Then his tongue was on you.

Your hips jerked and a strangled sound clawed its way out of your throat. "J–holy shit–"

Your hands found his hair again and held on. 

He was slow at first, exploratory, learning the shape of you. Then he found your clit and sucked and you practically squealed.

"Mmm s'fucking sweet... Knew you would be."

He began to practically probe his tongue into you and you melted into the leaves.

It didn't take long for you to get there.

"God, you're so good at that," you whined. "Feels so good. Want you to do this to me every day."

He smiled wide. "Boyfriend duties?"

"Mmhmm."

He laughed against you and the vibration nearly undid you right then and there. Your thighs began to shake for a different reason now.

"Gonna come already?" He looked up, eyes half lidded and glinting. Drunk off the taste of you. "We just started."

"Shut up."

"That a yes?"

You wanted to say something clever. Something sharp to wipe that stupid smug look off his face. But he did something with his tongue, fast and precise, and all that came out was a desperate, pitiful whine.

"That’s what I thought."

His mouth worked you with a patience you didn’t know he had. Slow circles. Quick flicks. A rhythm that built and retreated and built again until your thighs were clamped around his head and your chest was heaving.

"Right there," you gasped. "Right there, don’t stop–don't–oh my god, just like that– JJ, JJ..."

He didn’t stop. He pressed a hand flat against your lower belly, holding you steady, and sucked hard until you came apart with a cry that echoed off the driftwood walls.

It rolled through you in long waves. Your fingers twisted in his hair and he worked you through it, completely burying his face into you until you were trembling and oversensitive and pushing weakly at his forehead.

He pulled back after a moment, mouth wet and shining, looking insufferably pleased with himself.

Your bottoms were gone a moment later, tugged down your legs and tossed somewhere into the dark. You heard him fumble with his shorts, the sound of a zipper, and then the crinkle of foil.

Your pulse hammered. You propped yourself up on your elbows and in the moonlight you saw the outline of him as he rolled on a condom.

Your eyes widened a bit. "Damn, JJ."

He paused and looked up. "What?"

"You know what."

Even in the dark you could see the corner of his lips twitch.

"I’m serious. That’s– like. Okay. Wow."

He ducked his head, a boyish laugh escaping him. "That make you nervous?"

You shrugged a little.

He crawled back over you, hands planting beside your head. His face hovered inches from yours, expression more serious now. "You sure?" he asked. "We don't have to. We can just go back and–"

"JJ."

"I mean it. I don’t wanna mess this up. You’re–you’re really important to me. You know that, right?"

Your throat tightened. You reached up and cupped his face. "I’m sure. I want this. I want you."

He exhaled and nodded, then pushed in slow, inch by inch. The sound that came out of your mouth didn’t even sound like you–a high, breathless whimper that mixed with his low groan.

"Oh my god," you breathed, fingers digging into his shoulders. "You’re really big."

JJ stopped moving. His forehead dropped to yours, a muscle in his jaw twitching. "You okay? You need me to–"

"I’m okay. I’m good. Just–" You let out a shaky laugh. "Give me a second."

"Take all the time you need." His voice was strained, but his thumb traced your cheekbone.

You looked so gorgeous as moonlight filtered through the driftwood and painted silver lines across your face. Fucking unreal.

"Not goin' anywhere."

He stared down at you, lips slightly parted as he held himself still, watching you as your body adjusted and stretched around him.

"Okay," you whispered finally. "Move. Please move."

He did. Slow, shallow strokes at first, barely pulling out before sinking back in. Your back arched and your head tipped into the leaves, a sound like a sob catching in your throat.

"Jesus," he muttered, eyes locked on where your bodies joined. "You’re so fucking tight."

"JJ–"

"You feel that? You feel how good you’re takin' me?"

You couldn’t answer. Could only nod, hands sliding up his neck, pulling him down so you could kiss him.

His mouth was soft but his rhythm was deliberate, each thrust a little deeper, and when he angled your thigh up with his hand, hooking your leg over his hip, you gasped into his mouth.

"JJ... JJ... fuck..."

He pulled back, a crooked grin cutting through the intensity. "Yeah? You like that, princess?"

"Yes," you breathed, nodding quickly.

He grinned even more crookedly now. "You like that... Shrimp?" he asked quieter.

A laugh sputtered out of you. "God, you’re the worst."

"And yet." He thrust a little harder and your eyes rolled back a bit. "You’re the one moanin' my name."

He wasn’t wrong.

Minutes passed. Maybe longer. His hips rolled in a slow, steady grind and pleasure built behind your ribs, hot and tight.

"I still can’t believe this is happening," you said, voice barely above a whisper.

He kissed the corner of your mouth. "Me neither."

"Like–you. Me. This fort. After everything."

"I know." Another kiss. "I know, baby."

Baby. The word landed even harder than it had earlier when he was pretending and your stomach tightened almost excitedly at the sound of it.

"I wanna get on top," you said suddenly.

He pulled back, eyebrows lifting. "Yeah?"

"Please."

He didn’t need to be told twice. His hands found your hips and he rolled, pulling you with him, and suddenly you were straddling his lap and he was sitting up, back against the driftwood wall. The new angle made you both groan.

You sank down onto him and your hands flew to his shoulders. His flew to your waist.

His eyes fluttered shut as you began to bounce slowly. "Shit... so deep."

"There you go," he rasped, head tipping back. "That’s it. Ride that dick, baby."

A thrill shot through you at those filthy words coming from his mouth and you started to move faster, figuring out the rhythm. His hands slid up your sides to your breasts and then back down. His mouth found yours and the kiss was all tongue and teeth and pure desperation.

"God, look at you," he breathed against your lips. "You’re so fucking pretty. Y'know that? You know how pretty you are?"

Heat rushed to your cheeks as you continued to move on his lap.

"I’m serious." He pulled back. "When I saw you again–that first time, at the Chateau? Before I even knew it was you–I thought, shit. That might be the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen."

Your rhythm stuttered. "Really?"

"Yeah."

You laughed, leaning forward to kiss him again. "I couldn’t even believe how hot you got."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You were all sweaty and shirtless and I was like are you fucking kidding me? That’s JJ?"

He grinned wide at this.

You hummed, thumb brushing his dimple and smiling back harder. "So fucking handsome."

He smiled even wider. His hands tightened on your waist and he thrust up into you, meeting you in the middle.

You whimpered loudly, nails digging into his shoulders. The rhythm found itself again. Faster now. Slick and urgent and building.

"So good," you panted. "You feel so good, JJ. Filling me so good."

His eyes dropped to your mouth, then lower to where your breast was exposed from where he pulled down your dress, then back up with a smirk. "You still sure you don’t want some Kook?"

The laugh that burst out of you was completely involuntary. "Oh my god, are you serious right now?"

"Just checking."

You whined as you ground again him desperately. "Fuck Kooks."

He groaned at that and his hips bucked hard. "Fuck me."

"Ah! Shit, JJ...That’s what I’m doing."

He pulled you down onto him with a force that made you gasp. "You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that, girl?"

You giggled and he kissed you, deep and messy. 

"You really are."

Your hands slid from his shoulders to his chest, fingers splaying over the muscle beneath his shirt. His slid from your waist to your ass, guiding your rhythm. The air was thick with the sound of skin on skin, of breathless moans and whispered praise.

"You’re perfect. God, you’re fucking perfect."

You leaned in and kissed him softly. "I’m close."

"Me too. Come on. Come with me."

Your hips moved desperately against him until the pleasure snapped and you cried out his name as your orgasm ripped through you. He followed half a second later, a guttural sound tearing from his throat as his hands clamped down on your hips, holding you against him so that he was as deep as he could go.

You felt him pulse inside you. Felt the way his whole body shuddered. Felt his forehead drop to your shoulder as he rode it out.

For a long moment, both of you just sat there like that. Just breathing and trembling and holding each other.

Then you felt his shoulders shake and a quiet laugh escaped him. Then a louder one and then you were laughing too.

"Did that actually just happen?" you asked through your giggles.

"I think so."

"In the fort."

"In the goddamn fort." He shook his head, still laughing. "Might be the most ridiculous thing we've ever done."

"It might be."

You eased up off of him, wincing slightly, then flopped onto your back beside him.

He slowly pulled his shorts back on and then lay down next to you, propping himself on one elbow. "You okay?"

"I’m amazing."

"Yeah?"

"Mmhm."

He leaned down and kissed you, soft and tender this time. A kiss that felt a lot like love.

Then you kissed him again. And again. In zero rush to get back to the beach.

Part 7

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩𖦹⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Two nights later, while the two of you washed dishes together after dinner at the Chateau, you finally worked up the courage to ask.

You handed JJ a plate carefully. "So…"

"Mm?" he hummed, drying it.

"What were you gonna say a few nights ago before we were... bombarded?"

His eyes flicked up towards the cabinet like he was caught off guard by that, then back down. "What d'you mean?"

You narrowed your eyes slightly. "On the couch."

"Oh." He shrugged. "Don't remember."

You stared at him. "Seriously?"

"Yup."

"You looked really serious though."

JJ snorted softly and reached for another dish. "Guess it wasn't that serious then."

You studied him for another second then looked down at the sink. "You really don't remember?"

He glanced over finally, blue eyes sparkling with something suspiciously amused. "Nope."

You tried to believe him. You really did.

Then he flicked water at you as a stupid aversion to the conversation. 

You gasped and shielded yourself, giggling. "JJ! Why?!"

He grinned. "Sorry, Priness. Intrusive thoughts won."

"You suck." You splashed him back, but unfortunately, yours had soap in it.

He recoiled violently. "OH–Jesus Christ–my eye!"

"Oh my god!" you laughed, immediately grabbing his arm. "Wait wait wait, I'm sorry–"

He squinted the eye shut dramatically while you tried not to laugh harder.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."

You grabbed his face carefully to look at his eye and he immediately smiled. Your thumbs rested lightly against his cheeks while you tried to inspect the damage.

"Open it."

"I can't."

"Yes you can."

"No. I'm blind. And I'm suing."

"You're so dramatic. And I'm claiming self defense."

He finally looked at you and his breath caught a little at how close you were. Close enough that he stopped laughing a little.

"Can you see?" you teased softly.

"Kinda," he mumbled

"Good… So no taking me to court?"

He smiled harder. "Nah. I'll let it slide this time."

You giggled at that, almost forgetting your hands were still on his face. Then, accidentally, your eyes flicked down to his lips, just like his had last night. You caught yourself looked back up quickly.

He noticed.

You noticed he noticed.

Your mouth opened for a second to say something then closed as you began to search his eyes. And for one terrifying second, it honestly felt like maybe one of you might actually do something.

"Oh hey guys."

You both jumped slightly and your hands dropped.

John B stood in the doorway, eyebrows raised.

"What's uh…" He looked between the two of you. "What's goin' on ya'll? Am I interrupting something?"

"No," you said way too quickly. "What?" You laughed nervously and pointed at his one bloodshot eye. "I blinded him... Splashed soap in his eye."

JJ squinted dramatically. "Your cousin's abusive."

John B stared at both of you for another second before slowly nodding like he definitely did not believe that was the full story.

Neither of you were sure it was either.

"Mhm, right." He looked at you. "Well… Be nice to JJ, Y/N. He's a fragile little flower."

JJ nodded very seriously. "Tell her, JB."

You snorted. "Not happening."

John B grabbed a soda out the fridge and squinted suspiciously at the two of you one last time before walking back out.

The second he disappeared, silence filled the kitchen again.

JJ cleared his throat immediately and grabbed another dish. You grabbed one too. And neither of you mentioned it again.

After that, things only got worse... Or better? Depending on how you looked at it.

You started spending even more time together.

You'd walk over to the carshop and help out or talk his ear off while he pretended your presence wasn't distracting him beyond belief.

Sometimes he'd glance up in the middle of working and just catch himself staring at you for no reason.

And you definitely stared at him too.

You'd pretend you were actually learning something, but in reality, you didn't hear a damn word he said half the time. Not when his arms were covered in grease and flexing every time he tightened something. Or when he was all sweaty, chewing on his lip in concentration or making soft little grunts.

You'd practically just sit there and drool silently until JJ would suddenly turn around and say something like "So... That make sense?"

"Mmhm," you'd reply quickly, smiling way too innocently.

Then he'd squint and say "You have absolutely no idea what I just said."

Then you'd just laugh and make some excuse about it being a too many words you didn't know and he'd shake his head, smiling to himself as he went back to work.

Sometimes his boss or coworkers would tease the two of you even worse than the Pogues would, but JJ would just tell them to shut the hell up and mind their business.

You secretly loved it though.

He stuck to his plan to make sure you were never lonely again.

One night, you were hanging up clothes in your closet when a blond head popped up in the window behind you.

The second the frame creaked open, you spun around so fast and almost screamed. Your hand flew over your mouth as JJ climbed inside.

"JJ?!"

He laughed so hard he had to lean against your dresser.

"Oh my god," he choked out. "Guess I am a big scary man."

"Guess so! Warn a girl next time, maybe?" you hissed as you sat on your bed, trying to calm your heart rate a little. Then you began laughing too, covering your face with both hands.

He stopped laughing as hard when he noticed the little, tight, cropped pajama set that you were wearing that didn't leave much to the imagination. And the fact that you were definitely not wearing a bra.

If you were his he'd be on top of you in a second.

You lowered your hands and immediately saw the way his eyes snapped back up. Your cheeks warmed instantly, because part of you loved that he was seeing a like this... a very large part.

Neither of you acknowledged it.

You tilted your head. "What are you doing here, Jayj?"

He carefully slid the window back down. "We're watching that movie you wouldn't shut up about a few days ago."

Your eyebrows lifted. "Is that right?"

"Yup." He grabbed your remote off your nightstand. "You said you got Netflix now, right?"

You snorted softly. "Yeah, but you need a shower first if you're getting in my bed."

He smiled helplessly at that. "Yes ma'am."

You walked over to your dresser and dug through it for a second.

He swallowed as he let his eyes drift down your body once more, unable to help himself.

"Here, wear these," you said before tossing him one of his t-shirts you'd stolen and a pair of oversized sweatpants.

JJ caught them one handed and grinned wide. "You're sooo bossy now."

"Go shower, Maybank."

He saluted dramatically before disappearing into your bathroom.

The second the door shut, you walked over to your vanity and stared at yourself in the mirror for a few seconds. Then fixed your hair a bit. Then you stared at yourself a little longer, stomach fluttering nervously, because maybe tonight something would finally happen between the two of you.

You pulled your top down a little so maybe half an inch more of cleavage was showing... Then immediately groaned at yourself.

You didn't pull it back up though.

"Oh my god," you muttered under your breath. "Get a grip, girl."

You climbed into your bed and began to think of how you should be sitting when he came back.  

You tried sitting casually against the headboard.

Too obvious.

Then laying on your stomach.

Absolutely not. What??

Then you realized you were acting completely insane and flopped back against your pillows like a normal human being, grabbing the remote and pretending that was what you'd been doing the entire time.

A few long minutes later, the bathroom door opened and JJ stepped out with his hair all damp, cheeks pink from the hot water and his eyes adorably sleepy.

You couldn't help smiling at the sight of him.

He looked up while rubbing a towel through his hair and something about that image hit him so hard he almost forgot how to move for a second.

"You look tired," you said softly.

He blinked like he'd just snapped out of a trance. "I am tired."

You chewed your lip nervously and he swallowed a little.

"You gonna even make it through the movie?"

"Yeah, nah, I'm good."

He climbed onto the bed beside you, trying not to think too hard about how many times he'd imagined doing exactly this.

You hit play and at first you both tried watching it. Tried really really hard. But neither of you could think about anything but how close you were… and in your bed.

You had to fight every urge in your body not to crawl onto his lap and kiss him silly.

And JJ had to fight every instinct telling him to pull you underneath him and rip those little pj's right off of you.

He also had to try desperately not to fall asleep.

Halfway through the movie, one scene made you laugh. "Oh my god, that reminds me of when–"

You looked over and he was dead asleep. Absolutely gone to the world.

"JJ?" you whispered.

Nothing.

You huffed out the tiniest laugh even through your bummed outness, because he looked absolutely adorable like that: All peaceful with his mouth hanging open just a bit.

You curled on your side, body facing him and kept watching the movie, occasionally looking over and smiling when he'd make a tiny noise or his face would twitch a little.

At one point he mumbled something that definitely wasn't words. Then a few minutes later

"Y/N."

You quickly looked over, heart immediately skipping, and JJ was still completely asleep, brows pinched together slightly against the pillow. Then the corner of his lips twitched up.

"So pretty…"

Heat rushed to your cheeks and you just stared at him for a moment, wondering if you heard him right.

"Oh my god," you whispered to yourself, smiling embarrassingly hard as you wondered what he was dreaming about.

Apparently you.

And apparently he thought you were pretty. At least in his dream he did.

After a minute, you couldn't help but carefully scoot a little closer to him, and the second you did, JJ shifted in his sleep and instinctively reached for you. You let out the tiniest surprised squeak when his arm wrapped around your waist and tugged you directly against his chest, humming happily.

Your heart was beating so hard now you were positive it would wake him up as you tried not to giggle, but it didn't. He just buried his face slightly into your hair and mumbled again, voice rough with sleep.

"There y'are…"

You melted into him, nuzzling your face into his chest and breathing him in, the movie forgotten completely.

After a little, you fell asleep, maybe the happiest girl in the world.

JJ woke up before his alarm the next morning and the familiar smell of you hit him before he even opened his eyes. Then the warmth of your back against his chest.

He blinked his eyes open and looked down at the top of your head, then at the way your fingers were wrapped around his forearm. Then he smiled so hard it hurt.

He stared at the clock on your nightstand and frowned because why the hell did he have to go to work?

He laid there a little longer, enjoying every single second of this while it lasted, then reluctantly slipped out of bed as carefully as possible.

He quietly pulled his jeans back on, folded the sweatpants neatly, and glanced back at you one last, longing time before climbing back out the window.

JJ spent almost the entire day in the best mood he'd ever been in in his entire life, smiling at absolutely nothing as he worked.

He smiled especially hard when you texted him later that morning.

You sleep good?

JJ texted back embarrassingly fast.

Like a baby

Your smile spread instantly when your phone buzzed again almost immediately after.

Howd you sleep shrimp?

How was the movie?

You bit your lip, smiling down at the screen before typing back.

Same. You were pretty cozy.

And I honestly don't know. I kinda fell asleep too.

Wanna finish it at some point?

JJ stared at the message for a second before grinning so hard he had to look away from his phone. Of course he wanted to finish it. And maybe make you feel cozy again if you wanted.

Yeah so were u

Yeah sure

"What're you smilin' at over there?"

JJ glanced up to see his coworker wiping grease off his hands with a rag, eyeing him suspiciously from across the garage.

"Nothin'."

"Bullshit." The older man snorted. "Been smilin' like an idiot all damn mornin'. You finally tell your friend you're in love with her or somethin'?"

JJ shook his head and ducked back under the hood of the car he was working on, trying to hide the way he couldn't stop smiling if he tried. "Shut the hell up, Daryl."

That night, JJ worked a little later than usual to make a few extra bucks. Afterwards, when the sun had almost set, he decided to walk back over to your house. Once again without warning.

He grinned to himself a little when he finally saw it, heart beginning to beat faster and faster the closer he got to your window.

But when he did get to your window, he froze instantly, eyes widening at the sight inside.

You were laying on top of your covers in the same tiny sleep shirt you'd been wearing last night, but no shorts this time.

One hand was inside your panties, moving between your thighs, the other sliding up into your shirt to squeeze your breast. Your eyes were shut, cheeks pink, your lips parted and your chest rising and falling as you worked yourself.

JJ's stomach dropped straight to the floor. His pants tightened and his entire body went hot immediately as he watched you. He knew he should look away but it was like he was completely frozen

Your breathing caught softly and you turned your face into the pillow, free hand flying to your mouth to muffle a moan and all JJ could think was:

Oh my fucking god.

Because you looked so goddamn pretty. And he wanted to hear the little noises you were making. And he wanted to be the one making you feel that way so bad it hurt. Wanted your hand to be his. Or his mouth. Or–

His brain finally kicked back in.

"What the fuck am I doing?" he whispered harshly to himself, before quickly backing away from the window.

By the time he got back to his bike at the shop, he was fully losing his mind. He kicked one leg over and dragged both hands down his face before letting out a quiet, miserable groan.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he muttered.

He rode home way too fast, trying very hard not to picture what he'd just seen, which was actually impossible.

The second he got to the Chateau he walked past Sarah and John B, greeting them in passing, and went straight to the shower. Then he didn't stop picturing it all night until sleep finally pulled him under.

The next afternoon, you surprised him at work with lunch.

As soon as he saw you walking toward him carrying a paper bag and smiling all sweet, he forgot how to form coherent thoughts, as last night had been the only thing on his mind all day and probably would be as long as he lived.

He forced himself to be normal. "You brought me food?"

You shrugged. "You said today was gonna be crazy and I know you always forget to eat when you're busy."

He smiled softly at that. At the way you cared for him. "I appreciate it. Seriously."

"Of course."

"What'd you bring me?"

"Burger. Fries. And I got you one of those gross energy drinks you like."

His eyes widened. "The green one?"

"Duh."

"Oh my god. Marry me."

You burst out laughing. "Okay..." You nodded. "Barefoot beach wedding?"

His eyes lit up with recognition instantly, heart squeezing. "Yep."

"Absolutely no fishing?"

"Absolutely not," he said seriously. "Because I need to hang out with you."

You both burst into giggles and Daryl shook his head from underneath the car beside you.

"Good lord you two. Get a damn room." But he was smiling a bit.

That only made both of you laugh harder, realizing how ridiculous your inside jokes must sound.

JJ washed his hands as best he could and sat on the curb outside the garage. You plopped down beside him and every few minutes you stole one of his french fries.

He tsked. "You're literally eating all my fries."

You grabbed another and shoved it into your mouth shamelessly. "Girlfriend tax."

He smiled and shook his head, still not used to joking like this again. And, god, he wished it wasn't a joke. "Whatever you say, Shrimp."

Suddenly you grabbed your phone. "Oh wait– this made me think of you last night."

He took the phone from your hand and watched some TikTok of a guy shark fishing from his surfboard and when he caught one he stood on his board and let it pull him as people watched from a pier.

He barked out a laugh immediately. "That's badass. I'm honored."

You giggled. "Just thought you'd do some dumb shit like that."

He smiled, but then his stomach tightened a little, because the words "made me think of you last night" kept echoing in his head. Because now all he could think about was what you'd been thinking about last night while you made yourself feel good. Or if there you had somebody specific in mind. 

If you wanted somebody touching you like that. Taking care of you.

He handed the phone back before his brain spiraled any harder. "Maybe I will do that. Thanks for the idea." Then he noticed a tiny smear of ketchup near the corner of your mouth. "Hey, uh, you got a little…"

You blinked. "Hm?"

He gestured vaguely toward his own face.

"Oh." Your cheeks warmed slightly and without even thinking about it, you tilted your chin up toward him a little, like you wanted him to do it.

So he did. He reached over carefully and brushed the ketchup away with his thumb.

You laughed softly and smiled. "Thanks."

"No prob." 

He licked the ketchup off his thumb just to get your reaction.

You stared at him for half a second, jaw dropping, then immediately burst out laughing.

"What?" he shrugged, smirking proudly before taking a sip of his energy drink. "Boyfriend tax."

Your laughs become uncontrollable giggles at that as you leaned your head on his shoulder to hide the sudden pinkness of your cheeks.

He cracked and began to laugh himself now as he stared down at you.

"You're so weird," you groaned.

"I'm not gonna waste perfectly good ketchup."

That only made you laugh harder.

JJ kept staring down at you, smirk turning a little dopey and feeling absolutely fucking doomed. Because everything was going too perfect between the two of you.

And deep down, he knew it.

And the next day, something did... at least in his eyes.

He knew good things like this didn't just happen for him. Not for long. Not without something eventually screwing it up.

Or him screwing it up.

That Saturday afternoon, everybody was hanging out on the Chateau porch except for you, since you'd been out having brunch with your mom and her friend.

JJ's head lifted instantly from where he was sitting on the couch when he heard you pedaling up the driveway. When he saw you, you were smiling so hard that he couldn't help but smile himself.

You dropped your bike in the grass before bouncing up the steps and plopping down on the couch beside him.

He laughed. "Well, somebody looks happy as hell."

"I am happy as hell," you announced.

He reached over and squeezed your knee. "Why're you so smiley, Shrimp?"

You bit your lip, trying to contain your excitement. "I got a job."

"No way," Kiara grinned.

"That's awesome!" John B nodded. "Doing what?"

JJ's smile widened instantly too, genuinely excited for you. "Yeah, what is it?"

You tucked your legs underneath yourself. "Okay, so my mom's friend knows somebody at this country club on Figure Eight–"

JJ's stomach dropped immediately.

"–and they needed another beverage cart girl for the golf course."

JJ's smile disappeared immediately.

Pope and John B's eyes flicked over to him.

You were still smiling excitedly, completely oblivious as you continued, "Apparently the tips are really good."

"Ooooh girl," Kiara said instantly. "You're gonna make bank."

"Hell yeah she is," Sarah agreed.

JJ immediately hated everything about this. Of course he wanted you to have a job that paid well– why wouldn't he? But the idea of you having to talk to rich Kooks with too much money and too much confidence who were absolutely going to flirt with you nonstop all day made him a little ill.

You looked back over at JJ, still smiling, and immediately noticed his expression.

He quickly forced another grin onto his face. "That's awesome."

You narrowed your eyes slightly, noticing how fast he said it. How fake.

"It's honestly easy. You mostly just drive around handing drinks to drunk golfers," Sarah explained excitedly.

"And rich old men," Cleo added.

Sarah laughed. "Probably very rich."

JJ stiffened beside you.

"Some of them get a little creepy though," Sarah warned. "Like weirdly flirty sometimes... But honestly?" she shrugged. "You just smile politely, take their money, and move on."

You nodded seriously. "I can do that."

JJ looked out toward the marsh instead of at you now, because all he could picture was you in some tiny country club uniform smiling at rich assholes all day while they stared at your legs and handed you hundred dollar bills and asked for your number. 

And compared to that…

What the hell was he?

You bumped your knee lightly against his a few minutes later. "You okay?"

"Hm?" He blinked like he hadn't heard you.

"You got quiet."

"I'm fine."

You tilted your head immediately. "You're not fine."

"I am."

"You're doing that thing."

"What thing?"

"The thing where you pretend you're fine but you get all weird and grumpy."

John B snorted loudly into his beer as he overheard and JJ shot him a glare.

You kept watching him carefully now, your smile softening a little. "Jayj."

He sighed through his nose and shrugged. "I just know how Kooks are."

You honestly found it sweet that he cared about you enough to be worried about how they were going to treat you. But you didn't realize that that wasn't the only reason he was stressed.

"JJ," you said gently, "you don't have to worry. I can handle myself."

"I know," he muttered.

But he couldn't stop imagining you being hit on all day and you having to be sweet because it was your job.

Couldn't stop imagining them making you laugh.

Imagining them asking you out.

And the part making his stomach feel sick was the possibility that maybe one day you might actually say yes.

Your first day at the country club honestly flew by.

At first you were nervous, but after about an hour, you realized the job was actually pretty easy. All you had to do was drive around, smile, hand people drinks and get tipped.

And apparently, people tipped a lot, especially when they liked you.

By noon, you already had over a hundred dollars shoved into your little waist pouch and every time somebody handed you another twenty, your shock grew.

A lot of the older guys were harmless, but some definitely weren't. A few stared a little too long and obvious. A few called you things like sweetheart or baby or gorgeous in ways that made your skin crawl slightly.

But you remembered exactly what Sarah told you:

Smile politely. Take their money. Move on.

So that's what you did.

By late afternoon, you were honestly starting to have fun just riding around, especially as your pouch got thicker. Also, everybody seemed to be in a good mood, so it was hard not to be yourself.

You pulled up beside another group of guys around your age and gave them your practiced smile. "You guys need anything?"

One of them looked up immediately, a tan guy with a buzz, wearing expensive sunglasses and probably expensive everything else. He leaned back slightly in his golf cart while the other two guys looked at each other, then back at you.

"Yeah," he said easily. "Can I get a beer?"

"Sure."

You bent down to grab one from the cooler and could practically feel them all watching you.

"I haven't seen you around before," he said.

"I just moved here."

"Oh yeah?" He smiled. "Welcome to the OBX then."

You smiled back and handed him his drink. "Thanks."

"I'm Rafe."

"Y/N."

"Y/N... that's nice. You liking it here so far?"

"Yeah… I mean I grew up spending every summer here so it already kinda feels like home."

His brows raise. "Really? Surprised I've never seen you around. Pretty sure I would've noticed a girl like you."

You laugh softly and JJ would've absolutely hated how immediately Rafe liked the sound.

"Well the last time I was here I was thirteen."

Rafe nodded. "Ah. That explains it," he said, before handing you cash.

You glanced down and your eyes widened. "Fifty bucks?!"

He shrugged casually. "Good service."

You smiled awkwardly. "Wow. Thank you."

Throughout the rest of the afternoon, you kept running into their group again.

Every single time, Rafe tipped.

Another fifty.

Then later, a hundred dollar bill.

"A hundred dollars?!" you laughed in disbelief. "Seriously?"

He smirked a little at your reaction. "You earned it."

You shook your head smiling as you tucked it into your pouch. "Sorry.. just... never got any tips like that at my last job in Argentina."

"You'll get used to it."

You definitely did not think you would.

By the end of your shift, you were vibrating with excitement riding your bike back toward the Chateau.

Everybody was outside by the fire pit when you rolled up.

JJ sat shirtless in a lawn chair, hat backwards, greasy hands wrapped around a beer. There was motor oil smeared across his forearm and cheek and holy hell he looked good. He looked a thousand times better than any Kook in their unnecessarily expensive clothes ever could.

His eyes immediately lifted toward you and softened instantly when he saw how happy you looked and how you were looking right at him.

"Well," he grinned, "looks like somebody had a good first day."

"I had a great day!" you announced dramatically. "I'm filthy stinkin' rich!"

The Pogues laughed and whooped at that. 

JJ's stomach tightened in a mix of excitement for you but also nerves. Mostly nerves.

Sarah clapped. "I knew you could do it!"

You hopped off your bike and practically skipped over to them before dropping into the lawn chair beside JJ. "Oh, girl, I did it alright!" You pulled the wad of cash from your pouch and waved it around proudly.

JJ stared at the money in utter disbelief.

Kiara screamed. "Holy shit!"

Pope and Cleo looked at each other, mouths and eyes equally wide.

"I'm not surprised at all," Sarah said, smiling and shaking her head.

John B choked on his beer. "How much is that?"

"Four hundred and fifty bucks, baby!" you said, fanning yourself with it.

Everybody started yelling at once.

"You made four fifty in one day?!"

"Yes!"

"That's insane," Cleo laughed.

"I know right?! Dinner's on me tonight. You guys trying to go to Heyward's? Make it rain on Pope's dad?"

Everybody instantly agreed... Except JJ, who said nothing, still a little stunned silent.

You giggled. "Maybe I'll throw him in a little extra? Pay him back for all the free food me and JJ used to beg him for back in the day?"

Pope, John B and Kiara all laughed at this.

JJ smiled just a little.

You looked over at him smiling so hard your cheeks hurt. "One guy alone tipped me a hundred and fifty dollars total."

Something violently unpleasant twisted immediately in JJ's stomach.

"A hundred and fifty?" John B repeated.

You nodded. "I know!"

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Was it some creepy old dude?"

You laughed. "No."

"Was he cute?"

JJ immediately went still beside you, holding his breath without meaning to.

You shrugged casually, completely unaware of the way every single Pogue immediately looked at JJ. And the way Sarah suddenly felt terrible for asking that in front of him.

"I mean…" you said slowly, shrugging. "He wasn't ugly."

JJ took a long sip of his beer. A very very long sip. Because some Kook who "wasn't ugly" had the ability to make you all happy and excited like this in a way that he couldn't. Some Kook that he's sure you were bound to see again. 

He had felt so close to the possibility of you finally maybe being his the last few days, but if you had any feelings for him at all, you were going to quickly realize that you could do better.

He felt like his heart was actually beginning to break in two the same way it did five years ago.

Maybe even worse.

Part 5

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