claws dig into his shoulder, eyes impossibly wide. pulling himself closer with the plan to apologize in the morning, when he can talk. nightmare.
it takes so little to wake sonic up on nights like this -- a strangled gasp, the stiffening of limbs, shadow's legs twitching beneath the sheets as if to bicycle in a half-abandoned death throe. sonic untangles himself from the blankets, from sleep itself, moving in front of shadow to place one hand planted at shadow's rib cage, the other on his cheek, grounding the two of them as if this is the prelude to jump start shadow from sleep to nightmare to reality. don't forget to connect the red clamp to the positive terminal and here we go --
sonic's more used to this than he'd like to admit, and not just from shadow. there were so many sleepless nights as a kid, where he was the only shield blocking out the rest of the world for tails, a barrier against lightning and creatures in the night and memories of bullies yanking so hard on his tails they'd pull away fur by the fistfuls, laughing all the while.
it's different, of course, for shadow. the ghosts don't look the same, don't haunt him the same way. shadow is all blood and bullets and bared teeth, desperate and violent in his self-preservation, hands finding purchase on sonic's shoulders just for the claws to dig in. he knows shadow will regret it in the morning, will think himself a kind of monster for causing harm at all, will forgo recognizing his own torment just to focus on the wounds he never intended to leave.
but sonic won't let him face this alone. not right now, not in the morning.
his thumb brushes over the wet tracks left on shadow's cheek, sonic's green eyes fluorescent in the slice of light from the moon seeping into the room. the hand over shadow's rib cage tightens its grip a minuscule amount, another way to ground shadow, something else to focus on rather than the horrors playing over in his mind like a faulty VHS, the image skipping, repeating, fraying at the edges into something even more terrible than the memory it was based on.
"breathe for me." sonic's voice is rough with sleep, the sound of wind fighting through dense foliage. he presses his forehead against shadow's, his face blurring into something only recognizable through the dominant emotion -- panic. "in," sonic says, demonstrating a slow, deep breath in. "hold." his thumb taps against shadow's ribs, a steady beat... eight, nine, ten... "out." sonic waits to feel the ghost of shadow's breath across his lips before starting the exercise over, once, twice, three times, however many it takes to bring shadow back, to bleed cogency back into him.
he's not sure how long it takes, sonic's own limbs cramping as he squats on the bed before shadow, but the breathing evens out, the claws unstick from his shoulders. sonic doesn't wait, doesn't ask if shadow's okay, just gathers him in his arms already knowing the answer, already knowing what he needs to hear. he nuzzles his mouth against the side of shadow's head as if he can direct the words to shadow's brain, bypassing everything else.
you are not your ghosts. not to me.
his hand cards through shadow's quills, burying deep to scratch at his scalp, a low, slow purr starting in his chest, more for shadow's sake than his own, another signal of comfort.
you are more than just the sum of all the terrible things that have happened to you, all the terrible things you've done before. you always have been. you always will be to me.
