#rostoria

"I don't care what they said!" Ron yelled, "It doesn't mean shit!"

She had never seen him this angry, but she couldn't blame him. She knew if she were him, she would be too.

"I-I can't let you ruin your life for me because of what they said," she reasoned, "This just wouldn't work. It was a nice fantasy but-"

Ron punched the wall, and Astoria heard his knuckles crack. He seemed to ignore the pain as he ran his other hand through his hair.

"I won't allow them to do this to us. I have been fighting against this pureblood bullshit my entire life."

"They don't care," she explained, "My parents.. they still believe in the old ways."

"But you don't! Why don't you fight back?"

She took a deep breath, "I'm not as brave as you Ron, you know that."

"Bullshit."

He took the seat across from her and put his head in his hands. She watched as he tried to compose himself.

"Astoria, you're one of the bravest people I know. You have fought against your family's customs your whole life, why does it make a difference now? Do you-"

His voice faltered, and he avoided looking in her direction. He stood up again and muttered under his breath, "I see."

"What?" She asked.

"You-you don't love me," he whispered, more to himself than her, "That's why it isn't worth the fight."

Astoria's breath quickened, "Ron! That's not it," she protested, "You must know that."

"Then why not fight for me?" His voice broke, and she watched as tears filled up in his eyes.

Astoria stood up and made her way towards him, but he pulled away from her attempt to comfort him.

"Don't," he snapped, "I can't deal with pity. Not from you."

"I'm not pitying you, I'm trying to show you that I love you."

"If you really loved me, then none of this would even matter."

She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say a word, he apparated on the spot.

Two weeks had gone by since that night, and Astoria had barely slept since. She had always dealt with insomnia, but this was different. She realized she had no way of falling asleep until Ron was back in her arms. She needed to hear his quiet snores in her ear and feel the way his legs would wrap around her's in the middle of the night. She needed him to ground her, and she knew he was right all along. It wasn't up to her family if she married him or not. It was up to her. She always talked about creating her own future; Ron had given her the chance, and she had turned it down after overthinking and ridiculous contemplation. It would be the biggest mistake of her life if she didn't fix it. Her life was not a Muggle dystopia; it was her own.

She mustered up the courage Ron claimed she had and apparated to his flat that he shared with George above the joke shop. She knew George was out of town with Hermione for the month, so she could still catch Ron while he was alone. She hoped he was home, and if he wasn't, she would wait. He was worth it. He was worth everything.

She knocked on his front door and clasped her hands behind her back. She twiddled her thumbs like she always did when she was nervous. Her breath caught in her throat when she heard his footsteps come toward the door.

Astoria read the expression on Ron's face as the door opened; she watched as he contemplated slamming it in her face, but he didn't. Instead, he took a side-step and offered for her to come in silently. She took up his offer and made her way over to his couch. He sat down next to her, but he avoided looking her in the eye.

"So, is this your final goodbye?" He asked her sarcastically, "Or are you here to rub it in a little more that I am unlovable and that it makes sense that my best friend would leave me for my brother rather than marry me?"

She ignored the jab and knew he was just upset. Ron had been over Hermione for years, but the rejection still hurt him. He had felt rejected his whole life; Astoria was familiar with that feeling, until she met Ron.

"I need you to forgive me," she told him quietly, "I was wrong."

She watched as shock spread across his face and he looked up into her eyes, but it was quickly replaced with anger once again.

"You-you just want me to forgive you?" He spat, "After-after all that you said and reasoned? Astoria, life doesn't work that way. I can't just pick up the broken pieces and glue them back together. It takes time."

"I-I know," Astoria fumbled, she felt like she was going to cry, "But I do love you, Ron, and I never should have let what my parent's said impact our engagement. When you proposed.. I-I was the happiest I had ever been. I ruined that. I understand. I ruin everything I touch. I always have."

He surprised her by taking her hands, "Stori-"

But she didn't let him finish, because when she looked into his eyes, she knew his anger was quickly dissolved and she was forgiven. He understood her; he understood her in a way most people didn't. They were used to being second-rate, but not in each other's eyes; they were always first. There was no need to be afraid or insecure. So she kissed him; she kissed him like it was the first time. Taken aback, he moaned, and before she knew it, she was straddling his hips as he unbuttoned her blouse.

"Is make-up sex really going to be a thing right now?" Ron joked. He was breathless, but she watched as his pupils dilated when her top fell off her shoulders.

"I guess so," she replied, "Because I honestly don't have the words to show you how sorry I am, or how much I love you."

A relieved smile spread across his face as she leaned down and kissed him. His hands cupped her cheeks gently, and once again, Astoria felt whole. Ron was always the hero in her story. And as he picked her up to carry her into his bedroom he asked, "So does that mean we are saying 'fuck the world' and we are getting married?"

Astoria couldn't help but laugh; it had been that easy. She was forgiven, and deep down, she knew she would be for her ridiculous fears.

"Only on two conditions," she told him.

"Anything."

"We don't invite my parents and I get to wear a dress that is not white. I hate that tradition. As you know, I hate most traditions."

She didn’t see him at Christmas, but it wasn’t either of their faults. Her family forced her on a family vacation that ultimately ended in her finally getting disowned, and there was no way she was able to escape it to find her way back to the Weasley farm. Ron understood, but she swore she heard his voice crack on the other end of the phone as she told him the news. She promised she would see him during Spring Break.

But she had no idea that that wouldn’t happen either, because an internship opportunity came her way and she would have been stupid to turn it down.

Things started pulling them apart, but a day didn’t go by she didn’t think of Ron, or the way he gently held her head as he kissed her forehead goodbye.

She replayed that moment in her head every day before bed; it didn’t matter how many joints she smoked or how drunk she was from the frat party that night.

Ron was always the last thing on her mind; he always had been, she had just been too stupid to realize it. Maybe she realized it too late.

It was finally time for Astoria to see Ron again. She hadn’t seen him since the end of last summer. Her knees bounced against her worn leather seats in anticipation, and she tapped her fingers against her steering wheel. She was nervous, and she had never been nervous around Ron before.

Maybe it was because now there were so many things left unsaid, or maybe it was because she feared he had changed as much as she had. Astoria realized that the city life was something she could grow accustomed to permanently, though nothing would ever replace Ron’s farm.

Dust billowed around her truck as she made her way down Ron’s driveway. She watched as the Weasley’s front door opened, and she saw them all run out in excitement.

That’s when she caught sight of him.

Ron was the last to exit his home. He had grown taller since she had last seen him, and she didn’t think that was possible. He was more muscular, and she realized that had to be from all the work he had been doing on the farm. He was doing it full-time now; it was his life.

She swallowed nervously as she put her car in park. She took a quick deep breath, but her door was opened by Fred and George. George threw her over his shoulder and Fred attempted to give her a noogie.

Astoria laughed freely as they set her down.

“We missed you so much, Greengrass!” The twins said at the same time.

A smile spread across her face, and Ginny ran up to her and threw her arms around her.

“I’m sorry I missed your graduation,” Astoria apologized to her, “I just couldn’t get away before I was done with finals.”

Ginny pulled away from her and playfully huffed.

“I totally understand, Stori. You don’t need to explain.”

Astoria smiled gratefully as the rest of the Weasleys approached her. Many hugs and relieved laughs filled the air, but everything seemed to stop in time as she made eye contact with Ron.

She pulled away from Percy slowly and took Ron in again. He was tanner than she would have ever expected, and her eyes were drawn to his newly formed muscles against his white t-shirt for a second time. Her mouth felt dry, but she was able to get one word out.

“Ron.”

His eyes were startlingly blue; she felt like she was going to drown.

He looked at her as though he couldn’t believe it was her, but once he realized he wasn’t dreaming, he ran toward her and hug her so hard that she was lifted up from the ground.

She buried her head in his neck and sighed. He smelled like freshly mowed grass and mint. She closed her eyes and prayed he wouldn’t let go.

“I missed you,” he whispered in her ear, “I missed you more than you could have missed me.”

She chuckled to herself as he put her down, but she didn’t dare look away from him as she said, “That’s very doubtful.”

After spending a week on the farm, Astoria’s skin started to sport a familiar golden tan, and she hadn’t felt so relaxed in months.

An evening after milking the cows, Ron joined her on his back porch. The rest of his family had gone out to a movie; Astoria swore George offered the idea just so she could get alone time with Ron. She would have to thank him for that later.

She watched as Ron wiped sweat from his brow and casually took off his shirt from the heat. She looked away quickly and swore she felt herself blush, and she hoped he didn’t see her reaction. Astoria noticed in her peripheral vision he raised his brow, but he didn’t say anything. He might have even smirked.

“Is it weird being back home?” He asked her casually.

Astoria kept her eyes straight ahead and shrugged.

“Not really, it feels like I never left.”

“I guess that’s good then.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, “It is.”

An awkward silence ensued. Astoria wasn’t used to this with Ron, and she wasn’t sure why it was happening. Or she didn’t want to think about why it was happening. Her feelings were ruining everything.

Her idea blurted out of her mouth before she thought it through, “We should go on a road trip. I should show you where I’m living.”

She turned her head slowly towards Ron to take in his reaction, but he surprised her by smiling.

“I would love that. You and me on the road, it will be just like old times.”

She exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding, “Yeah, it will be.”

But Astoria knew that was a lie, nothing would ever be the same between them again. Not with everything she had realized over the past year.

They decided to leave two days later. They threw their suitcases in the backseat of Astoria’s pick-up truck and left early in the morning. Ron was still half asleep, but Astoria made sure to stop by their local coffee drive-thru hut to get him his favorite vanilla latte. It was a guilty pleasure he hardly told anyone about.

“You still remember my order,” he commented as she paid for their drinks.

“Of course I do,” Astoria told him, “It’s hard to forget. You put so much sugar in it.”

She loved teasing him, and he loved it too. He just grinned as he emptied four sugar packets into his latte.

“Since when do you drink black coffee, though?” He asked.

Astoria forgot this was something she picked up in the city. For some reason, she felt guilty. She shrugged.

“After I had to pull all-nighters for exams, I suppose.”

“College sounds like it sucks.”

“It’s actually pretty great,” she explained, “I have met a lot of really cool people, and I have learned so much. I also have a ton of new experiences I can tell you about.”

She expected Ron to make a comment saying he was excited to hear about everything, but instead, he stayed silent and took a sip of his latte.

After a few moments, he finally replied, “That’s cool.”

Astoria didn’t know what to say for the next few hours, so she turned up the radio and tried to calm the nerves in her stomach.

The first three days on the road were awkward, until they got a room at a Motel 6. She just couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Why are you being so quiet?” She asked him, “What did I do wrong?”

He set down their bags at the end of the first bed and rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

“You’ve done nothing wrong, Stori. I just don’t know what to say.”

“Why?”

He groaned, “Can I at least piss first before we talk about this? I have been holding it for the last two hours.”

She knew he was just avoiding answering her question, but she didn’t protest. She gestured for him to use the bathroom and laid back on the bed dramatically to wait for him. She made sure the bed squeaked loudly so he got the message.

Once he was finally out of the bathroom, she sat back up and noticed he came out shirtless again.

He was trying to kill her.

“Why are you doing that so much?” She asked, “I-I mean, never mind.”

He raised his brow as he opened a bag of chips.

“Doing what?”

“Nothing, forget it.”

He didn’t push her, and she listened to him as the potato chips crunched in his mouth. She hated food noises, so she offered to do the first thing that came to her mind. She knew it sounded shallow, but maybe it would help them both relax a bit.

“Want to smoke a joint?”

He choked on a chip and started coughing, but he mustered his voice enough to croak out, “What? Since when do you smoke?”

“College, I guess.”

“A lot of things have changed since you went to college.”

“I guess that’s what happens.”

It came out sharper than she intended. She wasn’t even sure why she was mad. She was the one with the feelings; she was the one making it worse. She was just mad at herself.

“I’ve never smoked a joint, but I’ll give it a try.”

She knew they should go back out to her truck to smoke, but instead, she cracked open a window and told him to come and sit by it. She then lit the joint and brought it to her lips. Astoria could feel Ron watching her, and she could have sworn his eyes were lingering on her lips for a little too long before she handed it to him.

“I know you’ve smoked a cigarette,” she told him, “It’s the same thing. Just try to hold it in longer.”

He nodded as he took a drag. He started coughing as he held it in, but he did it long enough that she knew he would feel it if he took a few more hits.

“I can’t believe you’re into this stuff, Stori. You would never even try cigarettes with me in high school. What brought this on?”

“Parties, I suppose,” she told him, “It isn’t like I do it all the time or anything. I just brought some home with me cause I figured you’d want to try it. You like to try new things.”

“That’s true, but not like you now it seems.”

She wasn’t sure if she should be offended by his comment or not, so she let it slide.

After they finished the joint, Astoria grabbed Ron’s bag of chips from earlier, but he stayed in place and watched her.

“Did you date while you were away?” He asked her, “Like, did you go to any frat parties?”

“I went to frat parties, but I didn’t date.”

“Why not?”

Because of you. She wanted to say, but she didn’t. Instead, she just shrugged.

“No one in the city caught my eye.”

They were two hours away from her campus when Ron suddenly asked her to pull over.

She pulled off the highway and they stopped at an old deserted gas station. Ron hopped out and started pacing the parking lot.

“What’s going on?” She asked him. She decided to follow him as he paced, but he didn’t look back at her.

“I can’t take it anymore!” He suddenly shouted, “I can’t just keep going on like everything is okay.”

Astoria stopped in her tracks.

“Wha-what do you mean?”

He stopped pacing and approached her abruptly. He was at least a head taller than her, and the look in his eyes was so serious that she didn’t even know how to react. Ron never looked like this.

“I was in love with you and you just left! Then you never came back. Do you know how hard that was for me?”

Astoria blinked a few times, but he didn’t give her a chance to respond. He kept on ranting.

“I thought you knew. Or maybe you did and you didn’t care. These thoughts have been haunting me for months. All I could think about while you were gone was if you were sleeping with some guy at a frat party, or at least making a new best friend and forgetting about me. My life is nothing without you, Stori. I would never stop you from pursuing your dreams, but I don’t know how to deal with this. I can’t not be with you, even if it just means I’m just your best friend. I’m in love with you, I’m so in love with you that it keeps me awake at night, but you’re still the only thing that helps me fall asleep. It’s so contradictory. I don’t know how to cope!”

She wanted to think of the right words to comfort him; she wanted to tell him how about the agony she was going through while she was away from him, too. But she couldn’t think of the words. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his lips down to her's.

Ron was surprised at first. His lips didn’t move against her's at all, until they suddenly did. It happened so quickly. Astoria’s lips were on fire, and her hair tangled in Ron’s waves. She would never get enough of this. This was what she had been missing. This was why she was homesick.

As soon as she pulled away she told him, “I’m in love you, too. I always have been, I just was too stupid to see it. I wanted you to come with me, I’m so sorry I left. But I can’t expect you to pick up and leave your family’s legacy behind for me. That’s selfish, and I love you too much to be selfish.”

She watched as he closed his eyes and put their foreheads together. She felt his breathing slow down, and she closed her eyes, too.

“I would have gone if you asked,” he told her, “I would have followed you anywhere.”

“But farm-“

“I don’t love it that much,” he reassured her, “Trust me. It will be good for me to get away.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m never going to allow myself to be away from you ever again. I’m saying I’m going with you when you leave at the end of the summer, but only if you still want me to.”

Breathless, she replied, “Of course I do. I will always want you to.”

Ron kissed her again in response. They stayed liked that for a while, until a random cop pulled into the gas station parking lot and told them they had to leave and stop loitering. They laughed as they ran back to her truck; she didn’t care that they were almost written up. She would do it all over again if it guaranteed the same outcome.

The last two hours of the drive to her campus felt like old times. It surprised Astoria how things were exactly the same even after the truth came out. The only difference was that Ron was now casually placing his hand on her bare knee, and he would tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear as it fell in her face as she drove.

Once they reached her campus and she walked around her truck to his side, Ron grabbed her hand. She took a moment to look down at their linked fingers.

“What is it?” He asked her.

She looked up and out towards her campus grounds and gave his hand a squeeze.

“Now everything’s complete,” she told him truthfully, “All I needed here to feel at home was you.”

She watched as a smile spread across his face and as his cheeks turned red. Embarrassed Ron had always been her favorite; it reminded her of when they were in middle school.

They stood in silence for a bit, until she suddenly said, “Carry me bridal style around campus, I feel like it is fitting for this moment. It will be like a movie.”

It was stupid, and it was lame. She had no idea why it really came to mind. But she knew Ron would do it, because that’s the kind of person Ron was. He was loyal to his own detriment, and he was silly enough to take any idea on that Astoria proposed. They were best friends before anything, and Astoria hoped it would always be that way.

“Well, I guess I can do that,” Ron said in a fake exasperated tone.

She giggled as he picked her up in his arms and soon he was running around her campus as she squealed. He didn’t drop her once, and that’s when she remembered that Ron was always there for support. He made her feel safe.