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OK but imagine Rossi and Strauss totally acting like the team’s parents and every time the team mess up/create an international incident/blow something up/fake their deaths/basically get into a shitton of trouble they have the same argument.
Strauss: What the FUCK have your kids done this time Dave?
Rossi: MY KIDS?! They’re your kids too Erin!
Strauss: No they aren’t. Not when only your offspring would think it was Ok to EGG THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE!!
Meanwhile the team just look at one another not really sure how to react. Admittedly because it was Rossi’s idea in the first place but it is always funny watching Rossi and Strauss argue like an old married couple.
Erin had this pair of heels she knew Dave loved. He never told her so, and yes she wasn’t a profiler, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know how to notice human behavior.
She wore them sometimes when she was pissed at him, and never even looked his way as she walked by.
“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Dave said as he drove Joy and Kai to his house. Joy had surprised him with a visit that morning, armed with Kai who was eager to see his Grandpa Dave again.
“Is it Erin?” Joy asked as she watched Kai swing his feet in the rear-view mirror. She found out about Erin when Dave landed in San Franciso with her and Erin called and yelled down the phone at him for flying across the country without warning. She knew a few things about Erin; that she used to be the Section Chief of the BAU but left after she was almost killed by a serial killer. She and Dave had been married for about a year and she had three kids. Joy had spoken to her on the phone but they hadn’t met face to face.
“Not just Erin.” Dave replied as they pulled up outside his mansion. Joy gave a low whistle at the sight, causing Dave to laugh as he lifted Kai out of the back seat. Dave opened the front door and led Joy inside. As she walked into the lounge, Joy saw a girl in her late teens lying on the sofa watching The Simpsons. At the sight of the yellow cartoon characters, Kai fought to be let down and jumped onto the sofa, starling the teenager who hadn’t heard them come in.
“Um, hello,” Naomi said uneasily to the cute toddler who was now perched on her lap. Naomi looked up to see Dave standing with a woman she didn’t recognise. “Hey Dad,”
“Dad?” Joy repeated looking at Dave, confused. She thought Erin’s children were his stepkids. Surely they wouldn’t call him ‘Dad’. She was still getting used to it.
“That’s what I was going to explain to you. This is Naomi, Erin’s youngest daughter. And mine. Naomi, this is Joy, my daughter.” Dave explained as Erin walked into the room. Naomi and Joy looked at one another before Naomi carefully lifted Kai off of her lap so she could get off of the sofa to look at Joy properly.
“So you’re Joy? I heard Mom and Dad talk about you, I didn’t expect to meet you.” Naomi said and Joy nodded.
“Same, when Dad mentioned you, I thought you were his step-daughter.” Joy explained, this felt awkward to say the least and Naomi nodded; she felt just as awkward about this too.
“I thought I was going to be. I only found out Dave was my dad after Mom was in hospital after…” Naomi trailed off and looked at Erin who shook Joy’s hand.
“Nice to meet you Joy.” Erin said and Joy smiled.
“You too, I probably should have realised, the way Dad went on about you both when he stayed with me but I didn’t. What about your other two children?” Joy asked Erin who shook her head.
“They’re both at college and they’re my ex-husband’s children. Your father and I weren’t together when Naomi was born.” Erin explained as carefully as possible. However Naomi had all the bluntness of her father and shrugged her shoulders.
“What she means is that I was the product of a one night stand and spent fifteen years thinking Andrew Strauss was my dad until I learnt the truth. After an initial freak out, I got used to it. I even changed my surname to Rossi when Mom and Dad got married.” Naomi explained bluntly, causing Joy to laugh before she looked at Dave.
“Did you know Naomi was your daughter?” Joy asked Dave who shook his head.
“I only found out a few months before she did.” Dave explained and Joy gave Erin a small smile. She understood why, if Erin had been married, why she kept it a secret. She understood why her mom had done the same but she couldn’t help but feel sorry for her dad. He hadn’t known she existed until she turned up at the BAU and would have unknowingly watched his younger daughter be raised by someone else. Not to mention their older brother James. It was clear to her that Dave was a devoted father and was already a devoted godfather to Kai.
“So I guess I have another half-sibling now.” Naomi said as Joy smiled again.
“I guess I do too.” Joy replied as Kai slipped off the sofa. The Simpsons was on a commercial break and he was now aware of the two strangers in the room. Kai tugged on Joy’s leg and she lifted him up into her arms.
“Momma, who that?” Kai asked looking at Naomi and Erin. Joy shifted her hold on Kai and looked at Dave before looking at her new step-mother and half-sister. Her family was getting bigger and bigger it seemed. Would Erin’s two other kids technically be her stepsiblings, Joy wondered before she stepped towards Erin first.
“This is your Nana Erin, can you say ‘Hello’?” Joy asked Kai who ducked his face away. “Come on, you’re never usually shy.”
“Hello,” Kai said as he looked at Erin. “Hug?”
Erin held out her arms and Kai hugged her before turning to look at Dave who watched them interact with a smile on his face. “Nana Erin best hugs!” Kai announced before Erin handed Kai back to Joy and shot Dave a grin which he pulled a face at.
“Are they always like that?” Joy asked Naomi who rolled her eyes and nodded. “Kai, this is your Auntie Naomi .”
“Hi Kai,” Naomi smiled as Kai hugged her too. She wasn’t really a fan of kids, especially not toddlers but she had to admit, Kai was sweet and he was technically her nephew.
At the other side of the room, Dave and Erin smiled as they watched Dave’s two daughters talk and smile at one another. He had been worried about introducing them but they seemed to be getting along wonderfully. That was what mattered the most, he had a family who were getting along. Nothing was more important to him than that.
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Gianna has a habit of sneaking into Erin and David's offices. She finds a picture of herself and David on Erin's desk next to the pictures of Erin's three children. Thanks!
AN: I can do that, I hope you like it.
“Erin?” Gianna called as she walked into Erin’s office. It wasn’t technically sneaking but there was nobody in the bullpen and Erin herself was nowhere to be seen. As far as she knew there wasn’t a case but she took the chance to look around as she waited for Erin. They were supposed to have lunch together but Erin was clearly in a meeting.
As she looked around the room, taking in the different certificates on the walls and books and items on the shelves, Gianna spotted the frames sitting on the desk. Gianna walked over and picked the frames up. The first three were photos of Erin’s three kids before a family shot of Erin and her three kids which Gianna set back down on the table before she looked at the last one and smiled.
She remembered when this was taken, the night they had gone to a restaurant together and David put his arm around her, hugging her tightly as Erin took the picture. Both of them were smiling and looked so happy and carefree in the photo.
“Admiring something?” Erin asked as she walked into her office. Gianna jumped and almost dropped the photo before she set it back on the desk.
“Sorry,” Gianna apologised as Erin smiled at her and looked at the photographs herself.
“It’s fine, are you ready to go?” Erin asked as she grabbed her purse and Gianna smiled at her before they left her office together.
"I've never slept with any member of my team and you know it it Erin." - Rossi
AN: Interesting prompt, I’ll do my best with it.
They had all been hanging out at Dave’s. The team had wrapped up a case, were having a few drinks and sharing jokes and stories. Taking the time to be friends, not co-workers. It had been Penelope’s idea to play ‘I Have Never’ and it didn’t take long for dirty secrets and embarrassing stories (usually from when they were in college) to come out. Even Erin was joining in but she was drinking soda, not beer.
“I have one. I have never slept with a member of this team. Past or present.” Alex said as unsurpisingly Will, Morgan, Garcia and Erin drank and almost all of them looked at Dave expectantly.
“What?” Dave asked.
“We all are aware of your reputation David.” Erin commented. Technically as Section Chief she herself was not a team member. Still, she remembered all the gossip from back in the day.
“I’ve never slept with any member of my team and you know it Erin.” Dave replied as they all laughed, he was proud of his reputation in the old days but he was past all that now.
“I know,” Erin replied as JJ grinned at them, having worked out to make Rossi drink in the next round.
“OK, I have never slept with someone who is in this room right now.” JJ said as she, Will, Morgan, Garcia, Erin and now Dave (with a roll of his eyes) drank.
AN: I love that scene between them, I hope you like it.
“I just don’t care.” Dave said, noticing the look of fire in Erin’s eyes. He knew exactly what that look meant. He knew how to rile her up, how to push those buttons, play this game. Still, Erin could say the same about him. They had been at this for so long, it was second nature to them both.
“The BAU functions without you. Don’t push it.” Erin warned turning to Morgan as he talked about arresting the senator, knowing that whatever she said, the BAU would just do the opposite anyway. The only problem was once the politics got involved, she had to deal with the fallout for them. This was one that could ruin all of them once it went south.
“Come on,” Morgan said quietly to Dave who shook his head.
“I’ll be a minute.” Dave replied and Morgan nodded. As long as he was out of the office and as far away from Strauss as he could get, that was OK with him. Once Morgan left, Dave walked over to Erin and kissed her soundly. Erin kissed him back before shoving him sharply.
“Don’t you think you can get around me like that.” Erin snapped. The team were in trouble, the whole BAU was at risk if this went wrong. This was not the time for David Rossi to try and make a move.
“Worth a shot.” Dave replied with a smile. This was how they worked best; that combination of anger and passion that just defined them.
“If you’re going to try and arrest him, go now. While I choose to look the other way.” Erin replied as Dave went to leave her office. “And David, if you ever try that again, I will slap a sexual harrassment suit so hard to your ass it will stick to you the next time you use the bathroom.”
“Whatever you say Erin.” Dave replied cheekily as he left her office. He loved riling her up. Besides, if she was still as angry as this later; he was in for a very fun night tonight.
