#rosnali

In another circumstance, Jackie might’ve laughed at the mini temper tantrum and found it oddly endearing. But she knew this was different; this was a touchy subject that required her to proceed with caution. Any attempt at conversation regarding how Jan compared herself to Marcia required the tact of navigating through a landmine – one wrong move and Jan’s defenses would go up while she shut down entirely. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not especially.” There was a pause as she acknowledged that Jackie wasn’t going to let this go. “Maybe later… Not while we’re on the clock, okay?”

She sighed as she looked into the actress's eyes, as she was silently pleading for her to drop the subject. But she didn’t close the door on it, and she knew it was best to take what she could get. “Not while on the clock.”

The clock, however, seemed to move both faster than ever and at a snail’s pace simultaneously. Minutes felt like hours, hours felt like seconds – it left the cast and crew with increasingly severe cases of time blindness.

“Okay, guys, time to take a meal break,” Jackie announced as she, with Anetra’s help, carried in cardboard trays piled up with containers of food from a nearby Italian restaurant. “What meal? I have no idea, but you guys need to eat.”

There was a collective sigh of relief as the women abandoned their tasks and gathered around the fold-out tables, all helping unpack and set up the food before filling their plates and settling down to eat. 

Rosé sat down next to Denali, draping her free arm over the back of her chair. “How’re you holding up? I can only imagine how exhausted you must be, running through all the routines a million times.”

“I’ve been through more grueling endeavors,” Denali replied with a laugh. “That said, I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to give me a massage. You know, make sure I don’t get too sore… at least from dancing,” she winked.

She chuckled, her hand loosely wrapping around Denali’s braid and giving it a light tug. “I think that can be arranged, baby.”

Across the table and several seats down, Symone found herself unable to look away from the two of them flirting, her stomach knotted up too tightly for her to attempt to eat. 

“Girl, your eye is twitching,” Lexi remarked. “Are you okay? Do you need to go outside and smoke or something?” At this point, most of the cast and crew had backed off on asking Symone about her ex, but she didn’t seem to share that sense of self-preservation.

Symone let out an exasperated huff. “It’s not twitching, it’s just dust from a hundred-year-old building. Besides, it ain’t my business what they get up to… the pda is just doing a little too much.” She then remembered who she was talking to and added, “Don’t fucking say anything; the last thing I need is for them to think I’ve got a problem with them.”

She tilted her head, strumming her long acrylics against the table. “I mean… You kind of do, though, don’t you?” 

“I don’t.” The icy sharpness of her tone was enough to make even Lexi recoil. The silence that followed was just as tense and lasted for the longest minute. “I just wish I didn’t care. It’s annoying that I haven’t gotten the fuck over her already. She’s clearly doing just fine. When is it my turn?” 

“It’s not a fair comparison to make,” Lexi countered. “The person who got dumped is going to take longer to move on than the one who did the dumping. Besides, didn’t you say this blindsided you?”

Symone arched her brow. “Yes, but I didn’t say that to you.”

“Heard it through the grapevine. But my point remains. Do you want me to try to set you up with someone?”

She shook her head as she poked her fork around her plate. “I’ll take a rain check on that. I wanna attempt to meet someone on my own. You know, see if I still got it.” And maybe to start repairing her ego, but that was beside the point. 

—

“Okay, say your name and that this is you before opening night,” Kori directed as she held her phone up. 

Marcia stood upright with her hands on her hips and a thousand-watt smile. “I’m Marcia, and this is me before opening night.”

She nodded and stopped recording. “Perfect. On to the next victim.” It was a popular trend on the theatre side of social media – filming the actors before and after a big performance. It was a succinct and entertaining way to convey the immense physical and emotional energy invested in the show. Granted, Kori wasn’t particularly concerned with the nuance of it; it was going to trend, and that was what mattered. 

While Kori made her rounds, Lydia decided to make herself useful and help with last-minute finishing touches for the wigs and costumes. “Rumor has it that you and Daya might have somewhat of a dalliance developing,” she remarked as casually as she could.

Jasmine opened her mouth to defend herself, only to close it and furrow her brows. “What the fuck is a dalliance?” 

She bit back a laugh. “You know… an affair, a fling, something of the ‘redirecting the energy you spent hating each other into something more fun’ realm.” All she had heard was that the two of them were caught in a ‘compromising position’, and that was enough to pique her curiosity. 

She scoffed, though her reddening face was not helping her case. “It was nothing like that. We didn’t even, like, kiss.”

“You don’t need to kiss to have sex.”

“What, so you don’t kiss Kori before she goes down on you?”

Lydia laughed heartily this time. “I kiss her before and after, girl. But you’re not exactly in a position to compare whatever you’ve got going on with my relationship.” She paused her work on the dress she was re-hemming to hold up her left hand and wiggle her fingers, her ring sparkling under the bright lamp set up on the desk. 

“I mean, it truly isn’t that deep,” Jasmine insisted. “We were just goofing around. But since then… Well, she’s been nicer to me. And maybe we flirt here and there… But I don’t think she ever intends for anything to come out of it.” She hoped the explanation would be enough to satiate Lydia, but the way she was looking at her said otherwise.

“Kinda sounds like you want something to come out of it, though,” she accused with a smirk. “And hey, I love me a tall, femme bitch. So I can’t say I blame you.”

“Kind of the opposite ends of the ‘femme’ spectrum,” she mused, then finally relented. “Look, I don’t know… It’s complicated. And I have no idea how she feels.”

Before Lydia could prod further, Kori let herself into the room and pressed a kiss to the top of her head and rested a hand on her shoulder. “Done with round one of filming all these bitches. How’s it going over here, babe?” 

She turned her head back to look up at her fianceé, beckoning her to come down to her seated level for a kiss. “Good, good. Jasmine has a crush on Daya.”

“Lydia!”

Kori didn’t have much of a reaction other than a shrug. “Okay? Fork found in kitchen.”

Jasmine hid her head in her hands. “Oh my god.” She took a deep breath, waiting for a moment before speaking. “Give me some time to sort out how I feel. I promise I’ll act accordingly when I do.”

“Thank god,” Kori replied. “We’ve already surpassed our quota of useless lesbians.”

After that, it wasn’t long until the five-minute warning went out, ending the chit-chat and sending everyone rushing to take their places. The next thing they knew, the curtains were up and the show had begun. While not completely flawless, it was easily deemed a successful opening night by the cast, crew, and audience alike. 

The women, along with some invited family and friends, relocated to a rented-out restaurant to celebrate their first official Broadway performance. There was a bright, vibrant energy buzzing throughout the building. Any exhaustion that might’ve been felt was replaced with warmth and pride, enough for the long night to keep going. 

“Did you guys like the show?” Jewels asked her parents, eyes wide and sparkling with hope. 

“Of course, mija, my baby girl is a star,” her dad gushed as he pulled her into a crushingly tight hug. 

She barely had time to soak in the praise before her mom chimed in. “And you looked so beautiful, you will have men lining up around the block for you. You know, we were sitting next to such a nice young man, I got his phone number so you can–”

“No, no, Mami, please don’t,” she waved her hands in front of her as she shut her down. But that left her parents waiting for an explanation. In a panic, she blurted out, “I’m seeing someone!” 

Her parents’ reaction was a mix of shock and excitement. “Well, why didn’t you say so?” Her mother asked. “What’s his name? What does he do?”

“It’s S- uh… S-Steve!” Her mind short-circuited as she now struggled to recall any occupation, preferably one that would explain his absence at such an important event. “He’s… He’s a pilot, so he’s traveling all the time, super busy.” 

While Jewels’ parents continued to ask a litany of questions about Steve the Pilot, Suzie and Lydia stood out of their field of vision, but well within earshot. “On the bright side, it seemed like she wanted to say your name,” Lydia offered in an attempt to lighten an otherwise bleak moment.

“That isn’t all that reassuring, Lydia.” Suzie’s voice was deadpan, but the hurt she felt read clearly across her face. The anger simmered beneath the surface; every ounce of her acting abilities poured into avoiding a reaction. 

She winced, looking down and away. “Sorry,” she mumbled before looking back up at her friend. “Are you gonna confront her about it?”

“Maybe, though I don’t see why I should bother.” She stirred her drink with her straw, looking into the glass as if the answer would appear in the liquid. “Is it even worth it?” It seemed fruitless to engage in confrontation – what was she going to gain from it? A fight? Confirmation that the girl she’d been pining after didn’t care about her? It seemed like it would be in her best interest to pretend she didn’t hear anything and see if Jewels would own up to it on her own. 

“Because bottling up your emotions has worked so well thus far?”

Suzie rolled her eyes. “As if that would’ve made any difference. At least I know who I am and what I’m about. She’s the one in denial.” She looked over, taking in Jewels’ visible discomfort as she dug herself deeper into a hole of lies. “If I wasn’t so damn pissed, I’d feel bad for her.”

Lydia gave a sympathetic nod as she placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s not mutually exclusive. You can be mad at her and feel bad that she’s stuck in a shitty situation. It’s complicated, I get it.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “it’d be a lot easier if I just hated her.”

—

Jewels woke up to a throbbing headache and pulled the covers up over her head to block out the morning (or afternoon, she hadn’t the slightest clue) sun. The night ended on a note she could only describe as ‘blurry’. She remembered her parents leaving. She remembered actively hiding from Suzie while grabbing a drink whenever she could, but then it started to fade to black. 

After taking pain medication, she put on her glasses and pushed herself to her feet. She shuffled into the common area, where she saw Lana sitting on the couch and eating leftover Chinese food. “Hey.”

“Oh, good, I thought I was gonna have to come in and check for signs of life,” Lana remarked as she looked her over. “The afterparty was rough, huh?” 

She winced and swallowed thickly. “Fuck, did I do something to make an ass of myself? Am I gonna be in trouble?”

She chuckled softly and shook her head, then patted the spot next to her on the couch, waiting for her roommate to join before answering. “It wasn’t that bad, though you were making it sound like Suzie was hunting you for sport; every time you saw her, you hid and went ‘she’s gonna kill me!’ until Jackie and I kept you still enough for you and I to get into an Uber, which by some act of divine intervention, you didn’t throw up in.” 

“So… She knows?”

Lana shrugged. “I didn’t get a chance to talk to her. I was busy chasing your drunk ass around. But if I had to guess… yeah, probably.” She set the now-empty container down and turned to face her friend. “This was not your finest hour, but you can’t undo it. The question is, where do you go from here? Are you gonna talk to Suzie?” 

Jewels looked down as she fidgeted with her hair. Deep down, she knew it wasn’t something she could avoid for long – they did still have to work together, after all. “I don’t know what I’d say? That I’m sorry for being a coward? That she deserves better?” 

“So do you, babe. You deserve better than the life you’re creating for yourself. We’ve all been trying to tell you how important it is to live for yourself instead of your family. But you have to be ready to take that leap, to do the scary thing.” She wrapped her arm around her and pulled her close. “Do you think you can do that?”

In yet another ‘first time in a long time’ moment for Rosé, she was caught completely off guard. Usually, she was in complete control when it came to intimate encounters, and she did feel like she needed to regain the upper hand. She moved one hand to the small of Denali’s back to pull her closer, her free hand tangling her fingers through her hair. “Sorry to keep you waiting,” she chuckled breathlessly when they finally came up for air. 

Denali’s cheeks were flushed, but there was desire in her eyes and a smirk etched onto her lips. “Guess we just have to make up for lost time, hm?”

This time, Rosé took charge. She reconnected their lips in another heated kiss, letting one hand remain on the back of Denali’s head. The hand on the small of her back slowly moved forward, her fingers traced along the waistband of her sweatpants, dipping below the fabric of her shirt as she did. She stopped when her hand rested just below her navel, her intentions clear, as was the choice she was giving her, whether to stop or proceed.

She responded by catching Rosé’s bottom lip between her teeth, sucking on it as she angled her hips up towards her hand, just enough to urge her on.

“Better stay quiet for me, baby,” she husked into her ear as her hand moved under the two layers of clothing, creeping down until she had two fingers pressed against her clit, rubbing in small, firm circles. 

Denali let out a soft whimper before kissing her eagerly in an attempt to stifle herself. She writhed against her touch, her body not catching on to her attempts at keeping as calm and quiet as possible. But then Rosé’s fingers started moving faster, and then they were inside her, and her resolve was starting to crack.

“That’s it, good girl,” Rosé murmured in both reassurance and praise as she thrust her fingers faster and deeper. She listened intently to her moans, curling her fingers as she figured out what she liked the most, teasing her with words instead. “Can’t have the other girls walking in on us, now can we?” She cocked her head in thought for a moment. “But I bet you’d get off on that, huh? You strike me as someone with an exhibitionist streak.”

“Just got me all figured out, don’t you?” She breathed out. “I think we both have been picturing this very scenario for quite some time now, haven’t we?”

If she hadn’t been so focused on getting Denali off, the realization that it wasn’t just Symone, but Denali herself, that had clocked her interest would’ve hit her hard enough to stop in her tracks. But then she felt her clench around her fingers and fucked her through her orgasm with fervor, then waited until she felt her body relaxed before easing her fingers out and sucking them clean. “Did it live up to the scenarios in your mind?”

“Oh, absolutely,” she purred. “But we may need to try a few more times, make sure it wasn’t a fluke.”

Before Rosé could reply, Jackie poked her head out from around the corner. “Maybe pick somewhere with a door next time.”

—

“Fuck, Suzie…” Jewels whimpered softly. Her head was tilted back as her hips rolled steadily, straddling Suzie’s face. One of her hands had a firm grip on one of the bed posts while the other cupped one of her breasts, her mind completely lost to the pleasure she felt.

Suzie’s hands moved up Jewel’s thighs to her ass, using her grip on her ass to pull her closer, to thrust her tongue deeper. She smirked to herself as she felt the other woman’s movements become more erratic, then doubled down on her actions until she was sure she’d gotten her off.

She was still panting softly as she dismounted Suzie and moved to lie beside her, leaning over to give her a quick kiss before settling down. But mere moments after she made herself comfortable, her phone started vibrating. “Fuck, it’s my mom.” She sat back up and, with a heavy sigh, answered the call. “Hola, Mami.”

Suzie watched as Jewels haphazardly tried to get dressed while talking on the phone, as if her mother would somehow be able to sense that she was naked and magically figure out that she had been in bed with another woman. On the surface, the chaos unfolding in front of her was amusing to watch. But her heart ached for her because she knew the panic was real, logical or not. 

“No, listen. I told you that no one gets comped tickets for Broadway shows, even parents of child actors. Yes, even if you get– wait, how many tickets are you getting? It starts in previews, the whole family doesn’t have to come on the first night.” Jewels sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just let Dad handle the tickets. Knowing you, I’m sure the flight and hotel are already arranged, and that’s the most important part. Love you too, bye.” 

Once the call ended, she let out an exaggerated sigh and sprawled out on the bed as if she were a Victorian woman dropping onto her fainting couch. “At least she didn’t ask about boys.”

She chuckled softly and rolled onto her side. “She seems like… a lot. Which is normally right in my wheelhouse. Shame about the homophobia, though.” A satisfied smile tugged at her lips when the remark got Jewels to laugh – she loved her laugh. God, did she love her laugh. And her smile. And how perfect her body felt against her own when they were cuddled up. 

It was torture. 

“Such a shame,” she agreed with a softer, melancholic tone. She shifted closer to her, hiding her face against the crook of her neck, as if she were hiding from the world, or at least her family. “If only you were a boy, things would be so much easier,” she sighed wistfully. 

“If I were a boy, you wouldn’t wanna fuck me in the first place.”

Jewels furrowed her brows. While yes, her being gay was the crux of the issue, there was part of her that believed she would want Suzie regardless. But she couldn’t find the words to articulate that, or perhaps she just didn’t want to. “Yeah, guess you’re right.”

“I usually am,” Suzie chuckled, then checked her phone and sighed. “I should get going, Kori wants me to go shopping with her tomorrow, but she won’t tell me what for. Which is weird, that bitch loves to overshare.”

She pouted as she watched her get up and put her clothes on, her bed feeling that much emptier. “Maybe she wants to get lingerie for Lydia or something.”

“Gross, dunno why she’d want me there for that.” She furrowed her brows, but still drew a blank on an alternative. “But if she is, I promise I’ll get you something, too.”

—

Suzie decided to approach the shopping trip with the best possible outlook – it was good, it was a distraction. Kori knew how to get her riled up without crossing the line, something she would consider a necessary evil, in the same way one would fight with their sibling but would murder someone who dared to attempt the same. “Are you gonna tell me what we’re doing now?”

Kori had been antsy all morning before Suzie had come over. She hardly slept the night before – something she attributed to an upset stomach when Lydia asked. Despite that, she was as alert as ever, overly so. But she knew she couldn’t keep her friend in suspense any longer. “Okay, okay, but promise me you’re not gonna end up feeling some type of way.”

“Why would I?”

“Because we’re going shopping for an engagement ring. I’m proposing to Lydia.”

Suzie looked hurt, but not for the reason Kori was anticipating. “You think I wouldn’t be excited for you just because I have my own relationship drama going on? Kori, you guys are my best friends. If anything, your relationship makes me hopeful, not envious… Well, okay, maybe there is some envy, but nothing I couldn’t easily compartmentalize.”

She was gearing up for an argument or a back-and-forth of playful jabs, so the earnestness in her friend’s tone stopped her in her tracks. She stood still and quiet for a moment before pulling the smaller woman into a tight hug. “Thanks,” she murmured.

“Um… You’re welcome,” she was just as taken back by the soft, tender response, a demeanor that was reserved almost exclusively for Lydia. “Do you… want to show me what you’ve been thinking about so far, in terms of rings?”

Kori cleared her throat and let her go, a bright smile on her face. “Yeah, here,” she guided her to sit with her on the couch as she opened her phone, swiping through a few photos she had saved. “This is the kind of vibe I’m going for, that I think she’ll like.”

Suzie nodded as she studied each of the rings. “Can I make a suggestion?” After getting a nod of approval, she continued. “Lydia has a pretty… eclectic taste. She likes weird, off-beat things. Have you considered checking out antique stores? You could find something unique… and possibly haunted, which I feel like she’d also be into.”

Normally, Kori would rather eat glass than admit Suzie was right or had a good idea, but she just didn’t have the snark in her. “I don’t suppose you know of any nearby antique shops, do you?”

“I know of several.”

“Of course you do,” she laughed. “Alright, let’s give it a shot.”

The first store didn’t have much as far as jewelry went, but they had higher hopes as they approached the next store. It was larger, but still out of the way in a weathered brick building. A few people were milling about when they entered, reasonably populated for a Sunday afternoon. Unlike the previous store, there was a dedicated jewelry section in department store-style cases. “Anything catch your eye?” Suzie prompted.

Kori’s eyes scanned the display until one caught her eye. An oval-cut ruby was nestled into the center of delicate, scroll-like motifs with a smaller diamond at the top and bottom. The silver band’s design was intricate, likely Edwardian, and probably from the 1910s. It looked like something Morticia Addams would wear – ergo, it was perfect for Lydia. “Excuse me,” she flagged down the employee’s attention, “How much is this ring?”

The middle-aged woman behind the counter took the ring out from the case and set it on the counter. “That one’s priced at sixteen hundred dollars, Miss.”

“Can my friend try it on? She and my partner are about the same size.”

“Is that why I’m here?” Suzie jokingly asked, earning an eyeroll in response. With the woman’s approval, she slid the ring onto her finger. “Fits like a glove, I think Lydia will love it.”

Kori beamed brightly, practically yanking the ring off her finger to better examine it. “It’s perfect and I can actually afford it.” She set the ring back in the box and nodded to the woman. “We’ll take it.”

Once the ring was paid for and they began the trek back to Kori and Lydia’s apartment, reality started to set in. “Holy shit, dude, this is fucking happening, isn’t it?”

Suzie chuckled softly and nodded. “It is. Do you know how you’re gonna ask her, yet?”

“I’ve been going back and forth on ideas. Part of me wants to go all out with some sort of crazy, elaborate proposal. Like, with a flash mob or whatever sort of thing you theatre kids like. But another part of me wants it to be private and special.” She sighed as they entered her apartment. “I just wanna properly convey how much I love her, you know? Just asking her to marry me isn’t enough.”

She sat on the couch and kicked off her shoes. “I wish I could be two for two with suggestions here, but you’re right; there isn’t an obvious route to take.” Between the two of them, she was sure they would figure something out – with the ring secured, they had the most important part out of the way. “Has she ever expressed a preference one way or another?”

“Not really, I’d remember if she did. You know that at least half of my mental memory storage is just filled with Lydia-centric information.” After a few moments of thought, she admitted, “I’d rather something more intimate, to be honest.”

“So do that. This is gonna be your wedding too, you know,” Suzie shrugged. “I won’t even make you tell her whose idea it was to go to the antique store,” she winked. 

Kori laughed. “I’m sure you’ll weasel it into your maid of honor speech somehow.” 

There was a moment of silence before she broke into a wide grin. “You want me to be your maid of honor?”

“Of course I do, you dumb bitch.” She slung her arm around her shoulder. “Was there ever any doubt? You’re like, my best friend. And you know I hate being sentimental and all that shit around… well, anyone except Lydia.” 

—

After a few days of thought, weighing out her options, and creating and scrapping plans, Kori decided to go with her gut. At the end of the day, it wasn’t about the proposal. It wasn’t about who did or didn’t see. All that mattered was Lydia and their future together, and in her heart, she knew her girlfriend felt the same. 

Admittedly, she wasn’t the most subtle in the time leading up to the proposal. She offered to pay for her manicure ‘just because’, she bought her a new dress, and made reservations at their favorite restaurant. But in a way, she saw it as a positive – if Lydia was getting suspicious and didn’t want the proposal to happen, she would have said so by now. 

“If it was anyone but you, I’d be worried that you did something horrible that you’re trying to make up for,” Lydia remarked with a laugh as they ate their meal. “What’s the occasion anyway? It’s not our anniversary.” 

“Can’t I just spoil my girlfriend?” 

She shrugged. “That is on brand for you, to be fair,” she conceded. But as they finished their meal, she noticed Kori start to get antsy. Then she noticed her exchange of pointed glances with the waitress. She was about to call her out when she noticed the music playing overhead stop. There was silence for only a moment before another song started to play. “Did you seriously request Enchanted?” she asked with a fond smile, because it was equally on brand for her to ask for their song.

“I’m trying to set the mood,” Kori defended with a laugh. She quickly downed the rest of her glass of wine, then took a deep breath. “I love you so, so much, Lydia. God knows I remind you every chance I get. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, and my mom always taught me not to let a good thing get away.” She got up and plucked the ring box from her purse in as swift and subtle of a movement as she could, then opened it as she got down on one knee beside her. “Will you marry me?” 

Lydia’s eyes had started watering as soon as Kori started her speech, leaving her in tears by the time she proposed. “Yes! Of course I will.” Her hand was trembling as her now-fiancée eased the ring onto her finger while onlookers cheered for them. 

“I thought I saw someone starting to come down the alley.” She lightly tapped Kori’s shoulder to tell her to put her down wordlessly. Once her feet were planted firmly on the ground, she peeked around the corner. Sure enough, a woman with oversized sunglasses and a sweatshirt with the hood up was lingering about ten feet from them. As soon as she realized she was caught, however, she sprinted off. “That was weird.”

“Maybe she was gonna mug you, then saw me and got scared,” Kori mused, leaning her shoulder against the wall with her arms crossed.

Lydia shook her head, her expression pensive. “I don’t think she saw you. You were kinda hidden when she ran. Besides, it kinda looked like she was trying to find something, or someone, in particular.”

Her expression shifted from mild amusement to concern. “We should tell Jackie.” She returned up the ramp with Lydia in tow, and the couple headed right to Jackie as soon as they spotted her. “We just had a… weird experience in the back alley, and we aren’t sure what to make of it.”

Jackie set her coffee cup on the table and looked up at them from her chair. “What were you doing in the back alley?”

“What are you, a cop?” Kori deflected. “Not the point. There was this shady-ass looking lady hanging around, like she was canvassing the area to stake it out. She ran when Lydia saw her, though.”

“What did she look like?” Anetra cut in before they realized she was there. “I need you to be as clear as possible.” Before either of them could do so, she waved her hand. “No, wait, here,” she took out her phone and scrolled for several seconds before pulling up a picture of herself and another woman. “Did she look like this?”

Lydia squinted as she leaned closer. “I didn’t get a good look at her, but yeah, I think she looked similar.” After a moment, her eyes widened. “Oh, fuck, was that your ex?”

She clenched her jaw and balled up her free hand into a fist. Her heart was pounding, and her stomach was tightening. It was the first time that any of her colleagues saw cracks in her nonchalant, even-keeled demeanor. “She shouldn’t have been able to find me,” she muttered through her teeth. She turned on her heel and went to her bag, rifling through it and tossing contents every which way. After about thirty seconds, her suspicions were confirmed. “Son of a bitch,” she muttered, holding up the AirTag to the crowd that’d formed around her. “This is going right to my lawyer.”

“But what’re you gonna do in the meantime?” Lydia asked. “She knows where you work. Should we give a picture of her to security?”

Anetra sighed. The solution wasn’t satisfactory, but it was sufficient for now. “It’ll have to do.”

—

If there was one thing Rosé didn’t want to be, it was a hypocrite. She was stubborn, but she was consistent. Aside from her talent and work ethic, that was how she became such an established name – she was exactly who she said she was and lived by her own advice. The phrase ‘do as I say, not as I do’ was blasphemous. So, the longer she ruminated on her conversation with Jackie, the more she realized she would inevitably have to confront her feelings. And she would be damned if she was going to let anyone beat her to the punch.

Her attraction to Denali was immediate. She admired her confidence, her skill. Her body and the way she moved it had her mesmerized. She would have made a move the day they met, but mere minutes before she was planning on doing so, Jan had informed her that she and Symone were together, albeit on the rocks. Even though that relationship ended days later, and it had been two months since then, the timing never felt right, and she wasn’t one to create drama. 

Rosé took a deep breath and approached Symone before she could talk herself out of it. “Hey, you have a minute?”

Symone looked up from her phone, then tucked it into her pocket. There was a deep sigh, then a beat of silence. “I think I know what this is about, but go ahead.” It was about a week after the breakup that she noticed the way Rosé looked at Denali. How could she miss it when she used to look at her the same way? Hell, sometimes, she still did.

“You do?” The revelation caught her off guard, filling her with a sense of self-doubt she hadn’t experienced since her college days. Had she been lacking subtlety for that long? Was Symone the only one who noticed? 

“You want my ex.”

Rosé blinked. She wasn’t expecting her to be so calm, for her tone to be devoid of emotion. Her face was just as hard to read – no smile or frown, no anger or sadness in her eyes – it was unnerving. “How long have you known?”

Symone shrugged. “I didn’t know, but I had my suspicions. Guess I wasn’t as paranoid as everyone else thought.” She propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her hand. “So, what, you’re here to ask me for my blessing?”

“It does sound a bit… unorthodox when you put it like that,” she conceded. “Listen, we all have to work together for the foreseeable future. I just want to make sure that if I tried to pursue her in one way or another, it wouldn’t make things awkward between us. Because you’re such a talented actress and I don’t want potential hurt feelings to throw you off your game.”

“Oh, so this is for my benefit?” She retorted with an arched brow. She took a deep breath and pressed her lips into a fine line. “Look, if you wanna fuck Denali, that’s your business. Y’all are consenting adults. But don’t act like you’re doing me any favors by running it by me. Call it what the hell it is – it’s you trying to alleviate your guilt.” 

This rendered Rosé speechless. She couldn’t even attempt to argue against anything she said, she knew it was true. But what she didn’t know was how she would have avoided this outcome. “I don’t… I don’t know what you want me to say. Would you have preferred me to ask for forgiveness instead of permission?” 

Symone pinched the bridge of her nose. “You’re missing the point.” She took a breath to steady herself, lest she come off as aggressive and give the other actress ammo against her. “She’s not mine, she hasn’t been mine in a while now. You know, there was no need to involve me in this at all; it was just to help you sleep at night.” After a moment, she added, “Maybe you had good intentions, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t self-serving.”

“So… are you mad at me?”

Despite her frustration, she cracked a smile. “I guess not. I can’t fault your taste, after all.”

Even with her situation with Symone resolved, Rosé still felt a lingering sense of hesitation when it came to approaching Denali outright. It wasn’t that she couldn’t handle rejection – that was one of the pillars of the industry – but something about taking her silent fantasies into reality was daunting. But she knew she had to finish what she started.

She spotted Denali packing up for the day, and with a deep breath, she started towards her. But with every step, she felt her confidence slip further and further. By the time she was about five feet from her, she froze, stuck lingering on the fringe of her personal space. 

“You good, Rosie?” Denali asked once she finally became aware of her presence. She tilted her head in curious confusion, not used to seeing the actress as anything short of completely sure of herself.

All the charm she could normally summon at will to beguile anyone diminished under a blanket of uncertainty. The words she had planned died on her lips despite her best efforts. Her heart was racing as she tried to force herself through this, when something happened to her for the first time in a long time.

Rosé chickened out. 

With Denali still waiting for an answer, she replied, “I’m good, totally. I was just… gonna ask to go over some blocking for the final number tomorrow.”

“Oh.” There was a tinge of disappointment in her tone, one that made Rosé all the more frustrated with herself, but her throat was still too tight for words to escape. “I mean… Sure, just remind me in the morning.”

—

As everyone was packing up to leave for the day, Marcia looked around for Anetra, making a beeline for her the moment she was in her field of vision. “Hey, I heard about what happened during lunch. Are you okay?”

Anetra sighed. If there was one person she didn’t want to catch her in a vulnerable state, it was Marcia. For reasons that she had neither the time, energy, nor desire to figure out, maintaining her reputation in front of her was especially important. “I’m good,” she told her. “If nothing else, this works in my favor with the courts.” She knew this would be an uphill battle, living in a state that required grounds for divorce made things difficult enough. The burden of proof had been on her from the beginning, and it certainly has proved to be a burden.

It started with six months of couples counseling, the time period needed to prove an irreparable breakdown of the marriage. For the first couple of months, Anetra had cautious optimism – maybe her soon-to-be ex would get a handle on her issues and they could work through things. But by the end of the sixth month, she was considering just sleeping with someone else and taking the loss in court – something her lawyer had to talk her out of. 

Marcia, like the rest of the girls, didn’t know the details of the divorce. She knew it was messy, she knew it was taking much longer than Anetra wanted, and now she knew that her ex seemed to have a few screws loose. “Maybe you should do a sweep of your apartment when you get home. I can help if you want. Sometimes a fresh pair of eyes helps you pick up on things you might miss.”

Anetra swallowed thickly. This wasn’t how she would want to get Marcia back to her place, but she had to acknowledge that she had a point. She moved into her sister, Mirage’s apartment about halfway through the counseling period, once she was assured it wouldn’t hurt her case. “Let me just smoke away my paranoia about her following us, and I’m good to go.” She reached into the pocket of her leather jacket and pulled a joint from her case.

“Need a light?” Marcia offered, pulling a lighter out of her purse.

There was a lighter in her case, but she decided she didn’t need to announce it, tucking it back into her pocket. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.” Instead of taking the lighter, she held the joint out for Marcia to light. 

Her heart started to beat faster as she lit the joint. There was a sense of intimacy in the act, leaning closer, the sparks flying between them, the way Anetra didn’t pull back all the way to take a hit, only to exhale. She watched as she smoked in a way that was effortlessly, inexplicably sexy; she may as well have gotten a contact high. 

“You want a hit?” 

Anetra’s voice and the smell of the joint closer to her face snapped Marcia back into reality. “Sure, thanks.” The hit she took was shorter than hers, but she felt the effects nonetheless.

“C’mon, it’s one subway stop and a five minute walk,” Anetra said after she put out the spent joint, cocking her head in the direction they were headed. 

The commute to Anetra’s apartment was relatively uneventful. The pair would make small talk here and there, but the task they were heading towards loomed over them, heavy enough to keep them quiet in a silence that wasn’t quite uncomfortable, but didn’t leave either of them at ease. 

“Well, this is it,” Anetra said as she let Marcia into the apartment. Luckily, there’s not a whole lot of ground to cover. I’ll take the bedroom, you can look out here.” While there was no way she could think of for her ex to get into her apartment, she was thorough as she looked through everything that she had taken from the one they’d shared.

Admittedly, Marcia was a bit stumped. It felt inappropriate to rifle through someone’s belongings on her own, even with permission. But that was why she was here, so she began her inspection of the common area, not finding anything out of place. Once she felt she had done her due diligence, she headed towards Anetra’s room, halfway in as she said, “I think I covered all my bases and–” She stopped in her tracks when she realized what she walked in on.

Anetra sat at the foot of her bed, her forehead resting against her knees as she cried. It didn’t sound like a cry of sadness or anger, but rather one of frustration and exhaustion. But once she became aware of Marcia’s presence, she tried to snap out of it, wiping her eyes and mumbling assurances that she was fine.

Her assurances fell on deaf ears as Marcia sat down beside her and started rubbing her back. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay. You’re going through a lot right now, no one’s expecting you to keep up a hard front all day, every day.”

“Easier said than done.” She didn’t have it in her to be embarrassed by the emotional outburst, picking her head up to look at her, defeated and subdued. “I’m so tired, Marsh. I just want her to leave me alone.”

“Then be tired. Be angry, sad, scared. The worst thing you can do to yourself is keep everything bottled up. Even pragmatically, if you let the pressure build, you could explode, and she can twist that against you. You can’t give her the upper hand.” She hesitated for a moment, then asked, “Have you considered individual therapy?”

Anetra shrugged. “Couples counseling kinda put me off it, but I think I’d be willing to give it a shot.” She sat upright, taking the hand Marcia had on her back into her own, their fingers intertwining as she gave it a gentle squeeze. “Thank you for being here.”

The door opened moments later, and the lead actress, Marcia, walked in with her roommate and understudy (and overall swing), Jan. “8:49,” Kori noted, writing it down so she could edit it later. 

8:51 - Rosé and Onya arrive one after another. Two minutes later, they were joined by the choreographer, Denali.

8:55 - Suzie opens the door for Anetra, carrying in her tech equipment with help from Daya.

9:00: Lana and Jewels arrive. Like Jan and Marcia, the pair shared an apartment and made the commute together.

9:02 - Symone was late for the first time, but she brought donuts, so she got a pass.

9:05 - Lexi runs in frantically, desperate to not be the last person to sign in. Being the last cast member bothers her, but she will be over it by lunch.

9:12 - Jasmine thought rehearsals started tomorrow. She is very sorry. 

Once all of the cast and crew were signed in and ready, rehearsals went underway. At this stage of development, lines had been learned, songs had been scored. All of the pieces of the puzzle were there; now they had to turn their rough draft of their concept – a popular show with an all-female cast and crew – into something fit for a Broadway stage, and they had about a month to do it.

When it came time for the first break, everyone dispersed into their groups. Denali was the first to step outside for a smoke break, with Daya following soon after, the latter in a notably worse mood. “Got a light?”

“Here,” Denali passed her lighter over, her brows then knitting together. “It’s a little early into the game to look like you’re about to punch a hole in the wall. You wanna talk about it?”

Daya shrugged as she took a hit off her joint, exhaling deeply. “Nothing out of the ordinary. Jasmine’s just getting on my last nerve. The whole ditzy blonde might be cute to some people, but it’s like she just uses it as a cop-out whenever she fucks something up. Twenty-five years old is too old to be pulling that shit if you ask me.” After her lament, she added, “This is my first role on this level; I can’t afford to have any distractions.”

“She can be a lot,” she conceded, “I don’t think she’s doing it on purpose, though, just kinda scatterbrained. Probably has ADHD or something. I get where you’re coming from, but it seems like a ‘mind over matter’ type of thing.” 

“That’s the only reason why I try not to be a bitch to her face. That and, like, team morale or whatever,” she mused with a dry laugh, taking another hit before her expression softened. “What about you, though? I can’t imagine working with your ex is all that fun.”

Denali shrugged. “I’m cool, but I guess it’s easier being the one who chose to end the relationship. Don’t get me wrong, Symone is an amazing person… It was just that our plans for the future didn’t align.” She felt an ache in her chest, a mix of guilt and sadness. “I think it’s best to just keep things as professional as possible for the time being.”

Daya leaned over the railing, staring out at the city before looking over at her. “I guess we could both stand to compartmentalize our feelings for the sake of the show.”

“Oh, so we’re using SAT words now?” She chuckled. “You’re right. At least it was a clean break. I heard Anetra’s divorce is still messy, her ex is doing everything she can to drag it out.”

“I guess crazy exes come in the lesbian variety, too.”

Denali chuckled and shook her head. “Honey, you don’t know the half of it. I’m pretty sure Symone is my only mentally stable ex.”

“That’s concerning, Denali.”

She shrugged. “It is what it is.”

—

Jackie’s eyes scanned the expanse of the studio, making small notes and observations of everyone who came into her field of vision. Then there was Jan. Her gaze always went back to Jan, with her sun-lightened hair and warm brown eyes, her inviting smile, and infectiously upbeat demeanor. Looking at her felt like staring into the sun, but she couldn’t get herself to look away – she never could; it was her kryptonite. 

“Is your lack of subtlety the reason why you chose not to pursue acting?”  

The voice coming out of seemingly nowhere caused Jackie to startle and turn around, then let out a quiet sigh of relief when she realized it was just Rosé. Her first instinct was to go on the defensive, but it was clear that it was a moot point. “As long as I keep a healthy distance, it’s fine… right?”

Rosé chuckled softly. “Honey, with all the shows I’ve been in, I’ve seen and heard worse than whatever type of way you’re feeling about her.” Given that she was the most established of the cast, the recognizable name to the more casual Broadway fans, it wasn’t hard to believe. “I mean, she’s an adult, you don’t have a creepy age gap, and you’re not using your position to exploit her.” 

Jackie quirked her brow. “Is the bar that low?” After a beat, she amended, “Never mind, we both know the answer to that.”

“For what it’s worth, this isn’t the first show I’ve done with Jan. She’s incredibly approachable, almost jarringly so. I’d say it’s worth shooting your shot. Even if she’s not into it, she’ll still be nice,” she suggested.

She hemmed and hawed for a moment, putting her feelings in as much of an analytical and pragmatic perspective as she could. “I suppose you have a point, it’s not the most precarious situation around. I’ll sleep on it.”

“It’s not even the most precarious situation in the room,” Rosé murmured under her breath as her gaze drifted over to the window where she could see Denali and Daya talking outside, then over to Symone sitting and scrolling through her phone. A knot of guilt made her stomach clench, but she did her best to swallow it.

“What do you mean?”

She waved it off, ever the actress with the ability to recover. “Don’t worry about it, it’s better to live in the present. Focus on how you’re going to make your move.”

—

Suzie looked at herself through her phone’s camera, stretching her neck out to examine it better. “What do you guys think?” She looked next to her, where Onya was putting Marcia’s hair into a French braid. “Do I need a touch-up?”

“I think you’re just rubbing it in our faces that you’re getting laid,” Marcia mumbled before assuring, “You’re fine, you’d have to get up real close to notice.”

“I promise that wasn’t my intention, but my defense, this is the only place I can talk about it.” When she received two perplexed stares in response, she elaborated, “The cast and crew here are the only people Jewels is out to, and I’m not gonna jeopardize any of her relationships because of a friends-with-benefits situation.”

“So you guys aren’t dating because of that? Isn’t most of her family still in Florida?” Onya asked. 

Suzie’s face reddened, and she bit the inside of her cheek, wanting to choose her words carefully. “There are a lot of reasons, it’s complicated, and with social media, family can keep tabs on you from anywhere unless you keep all of your shit locked down. Besides, it’s not my place to say anything. I’m just gonna be there to support her if and when she wants to come out all the way.”

Marcia nodded understandingly. “Believe me, I understand putting romantic feelings aside for pragmatic reasons.” While her crush on Anetra was an open secret among cast members, they had collectively decided to cover for her. Even though they knew the head of tech had been separated for a couple of months now, the timing simply wasn’t right. That’s what she kept repeating to herself, anyway.

Suzie hesitated to add anything to the conversation at that point. Marcia had a better reason to keep her crush a secret on paper. Not only would it be inappropriate to pursue someone going through a tumultuous divorce actively, but Marcia had been catapulted into the Broadway spotlight, and a scandal like that could stop her rise to fame in its tracks. 

But Suzie could overthink and ‘logically explain’ her way out of a paper bag, and this situation was no different. “Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think anyone can blame you. Her service top energy matches your pillow princess one, after all.”

“Is it that obvious? Me being a pillow princess?”

“Yes,” Suzie and Onya answered in unison. 

—

 “Hey,” Symone greeted as she sat on the floor beside Anetra, who hadn’t taken her eyes off her phone since their break started. “How’s everything holding up?” While she did genuinely want to support her friend, there was a small part of her that took solace in someone having it worse than she did. As much as her breakup stung, it was still a clean break – no paperwork, no combined finances. Denali had moved all of her things out within a week. Maybe comiserating with Anetra would make her healing process easier to bear.

“‘Holding up’ is debatable at this point,” Anetra replied, her voice devoid of emotion. She sighed, allowing her unaffected expression to drop into one of exhaustion. “I swear, it’s like every time I think we’re making progress, she changes her mind or comes up with a new demand. I know it’s fucked up to say, but I almost wish she had cheated on me or something, ‘irreconciable differences’ has a whole lot of gray area since I can’t prove how unhinged she is.”

“Maybe she’ll snap eventually,” Lexi chimed in. “Crazy can only be contained for so long. That’s what my therapist said… Well, she didn’t say that, but it was implied.”

“And I’m sure she earns every dollar of your copay,” Symone replied with a laugh. “Still, she might be onto something – if your ex is as unstable as you’re saying, she’ll probably show her true colors sooner or later. She must have in front of you, at least, for you to decide to leave her, right?”

Anetra chewed on her lip for a moment. “Not no.” Her eyes darted around as she rocked back and forth on her feet. “There were signs, probably. But it did take her accusing me of cheating on her with my cousin to wake the fuck up.” She had to force the words out; the embarrassment of taking so long to figure out the obvious dragged the bitterness of anger through her throat and out of her mouth. She was smarter than this. She was better than this. How could she have been so blind? So naive? 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Lexi told her. “Love makes you do crazy things. I almost moved to France for a girl I was dating online for two months… Bitch, I don’t even speak French. She does still send me nudes sometimes, though, and they’re muy bueno.”

“That’s Spanish,” Symone pointed out.

Lexi waved it off. “Semantics.”

—

As the cast returned to rehearsing, Kori shifted her focus to editing the day’s video. While she didn’t take herself seriously in the slightest, she did take her work seriously and needed to make sure that her content lived up to her standards. But after a few moments, she found herself staring at her screen blankly.

Lydia glanced over, sensing her girlfriend’s frustration. “What’s wrong?”

She hesitated, running her fingers through her hair, hoping that by buying herself time, she would figure it out on her own. Alas, her efforts were in vain. “Does Symone spell her name with an i or a y?”

“Y,” she answered without looking up from her phone.

“Because I need to– oh, right, thank you.” Kori pointedly did not look up from her screen, knowing she would just see Lydia laughing at her. “Save it,” she preemptively warned, a small smile tugging at her lips nonetheless. 

“Save it,” Lydia mocked, mimicking her cadence to a T, which caused both of them to laugh. “Do you have a specific content plan, or are you winging it?”

She shrugged. “Somewhere in between, I guess. I have some general ideas, but not in a ‘I’m going to film this video on this day and have it up at this time’ sort of way.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out – this is where you shine,” She cooed as she pushed herself to her feet. “I’ll be right back, gonna run to the bathroom.” With that, she pressed a kiss to her forehead and headed out of the studio.

“You guys are so cute together,” Jewels cooed as she sat beside Kori on the couch. “I’m kind of jealous,” she admitted.

Kori clicked her tongue and shook her head. “You wouldn’t need to be if you just asked Suzie out like a normal person. I don’t see what the big deal is – Miss Toot is not exactly the epitome of intimidating. I’ve met stray cats that are scarier.” 

The young actress sighed as she dramatically sprawled her arms across the couch, her head tilting to rest on the back of it. “It’s not that I’m afraid of her. I’m afraid of my family. My parents, they’ve been through enough lately. I don’t know what coming out would do to them, to our relationship. I think I’ll know when the time is right. At least, I hope so.”

“Shit, I hope so too. ‘Cause all of this,” she gestured to her, “is a lot.” In a softer, kinder tone, she added, “I’m rooting for you guys, though. I think you’ll be cute together. Not as cute as me and my future wife, of course.”

Jewels sat up enough to face Kori, smiling softly. “You see you guys getting married someday?”

“Touché,” she conceded as she changed into the lingerie that one of her subscribers had bought for her. It was a lacy, pink getup that was both crotchless and cupless, essentially leaving her naked with decorations. She found it more convenient – she got to look hot without wasting time undressing. “Just one last thing,” she hummed as she fixed her blonde wig onto her head. “How do I look?”

“Like the sluttiest Barbie in all of Malibu.” 

Denali beamed brightly. “Perfect! Thank you, Rosie.” It was only a few minutes into recording the video that she looked towards her girlfriend with a smirk. “You know, if you wanted to give me something… motivating to look at, I wouldn’t be opposed.” 

She tossed her head back and laughed. “That’s a lot of words for ‘show me your tits’, babe,” she teased, but tugged off her shirt and bra nonetheless. At her height, Denali was still able to see her leaning against the desk while she filmed on the bed without seeming suspicious. 

The filming was the easy part, which she supposed was what most people thought. Her solo videos were often filmed within an hour, it was the editing that took ages. “So,” she prompted as she dismounted from the toy, “what did you think?”