#roseri

The fish puns are super contagious you’re absolutely right. Eridan is just over there simmering because OKAY he GETS IT he is NAUTICALLY THEMED can he please just have a normal fucking conversation for once???

And Rose just smirks at him and he’s like “Don’t you dare” and she just keeps smirking and he doesn’t know what pun she’s about to make, but don’t you dare, and she’s just SMUG as hell and he doesn’t even know what she would SAY there?! So now he’s contemplating what pun could even be used in an intelligent response but whoops, now she’s got him wasting his time thinking about fish puns and when he realizes that was the goddamned point the ENTIRE TIME he loses his shit.

You’ve known one Eridan Ampora for almost two years by this point. Despite his eccentricities and the difficult situation he claims to be in, you think that some semblance of control has finally begun to fall in your favor regarding the reality of your situation.

It’s only after the game tears everything dear away from you and hands it back in a twisted, unfamiliar form that you realize how laughable such a notion truly was.

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Holy shit everyone’s favorite Erirose fic is back from the grave

Check it out party people this time we’re chilling in the DESERT

SO much. She would read it out loud at inconvenient times and give legitimate, discerning feedback and would criticize his form and realism like she was actually workshopping it and YES she is being helpful, technically, but she’s doing it with that smug ass attitude and that quirked eyebrow and that smarmy fucking smile and Eridan would SEETHE.

Eventually Rose pisses Dave off enough that he reruns that “favor” she did of throwing him under the bus to Tavros, and tells Eridan about her wizard fanfiction. Eridan is all shark fanged grins and wiggly earfins as he proceeds to give as good as he got, and she knows, realistically, that he IS technically helping but he’s doing it with that lifted chin and that downward gaze and she is BURNING with pitch fury.

Rose, red pen in hand, will rise to that occasion. If he must be dunked, so she shall dunk him.

Eridan tells her that being the lovechild of two minor conquerors is a perfectly respectable fantasy and maybe she should get off her wizardly high horse.

Eridan, in line at Long John Silvers: Please just givve me some disgustingly fried fish and unhealthy potatoes that’s all I wwant right noww

Some poor bastard: ITS HERE! ITS GOING TO KILL US! ITS GOING TO MAKE OFF WITH OUR WOMEN INTO THE SEA

Rose, showing up in $238490173432 sunglasses and a feather boa: What’s this about monsters making out with- oh it’s just you. Hey babe.

Eridan: Rose make them servve me shitty fast food fish they keep screamin at me

John, blowing the fire out after minor damage has occurred: Rose you really need to consider what you’re dating, he’s a freaky lake monster and he just set fire to a public building just because he wanted to

Feferi, cackling underwater, also a local cryptid and also someone running off with human women (and troll women (and women in general (and men (lbr who doesn’t wanna smooch that fish)))): YOUR PROBL–EM NOW 38D

Rose, unbothered by all these occurrences and DEFINITELY the one who was chanting “do it do it do it” while Eridan lit the match: It’s fine

Roxy, alternately wanting to laugh hysterically at all of this and facepalm harder than a carapacian observing a sea princess make out with a yellow corpse: This is not fine this is absolutely ridic. Maximum ridic, sis, you and ur cutie monster bf are the most ridic

John, who already knew this: I know this