#rojay

u get this too

Bruce on the other hand. “Am I happy that Damian is starting to date: “Of course,” the man said with a stern look. “The fact that my son has taken a strong interest in a young lady is surprising. I’m actually relieved…” he took pause as his own words hit him the wrong way. “That came out wrong. What I meant was: Damian’s hobbies usually include trying not to kill people or taking interest in things that do kill people, so it’s nice to see him dating,” Bruce concluded with a bitter look on his face. “His mother’s a heartless bitch.”

The shot began to zoom out, revealing that Damian had been seated beside Bruce the entire time.

“I invited Mother.”

Bruce's face fell slightly, his eyes widening as if the news was more than inconvenient to him.. 

“Fuck! What do you mean Talia’s coming!” Dick spat as he was informed by Bruce of the last minute invite. The former Boy Wonder visibly disgruntled as Damian and Raven looked on in confusion.

“I don’t know what all the fuss is about, I’m actually looking forward to meeting Damian’s mom,” Raven said when asked, her face looking rather calm for someone admittedly dating Talia al Ghul’s only son.

“My Mother’s approval is really important, and Father always says that he thinks keeping a relationship with my mother is important. This is important.”

The Camera then zoomed in on Bruce as he silently ate his words. But when later asked, had this to say. “I know I say that shit, but it’s because I have to. It’s in the custody agreement.” 

“Hey Jay,” Dick began as he met Jason at the door upon his arrival. 

“Yeah?”

“So um,” the hero stammered, trying to soften the blow. “I don’t wanna make this a big deal, but um, Damian invited his mother.”

“Shit, Talia’s coming?” Jason replied dumbfounded, his soon to be wife on his arm, snickering with amusement at his discomfort. “For real?”

“Sooooo,” Dick began when asked privately about the matter. “The reason everyone’s kinda freaking about Talia, aside from the fact that she’s awful, is that, well she’s awful.”

“Dude what the hell?” Jason continued as they shot back to him freaking out in the hallway. 

“So for starters,” Dick went on, “Damian is apparently the product of date rape. Yep: Talia roofied Bruce, got knocked up and waited like 10 years to tell him they had a son. Then to make matters worse, she slept with Jason to spite Bruce. So there’s that too. Did I mention Talia’s awful?”

“What is Todd doing here?” Damian asked as he entered the hallway where Dick and Jason were discussing the matter at hand.

“It should also be noted that Damian has no idea,” Dick added ironically into the camera. “He knows absolutely none of it.”

“I invited him,” Dick replied to his younger brother and shrugged.

“Why?”

“I don’t really care for Todd,” Damian explained to the camera crew. “He’s negligent and sloppy, he’s not very sophisticated and the only thing I respect about him is that he understands the value of eliminating your enemy,” Damian went on, “Not to mention all he and Grayson do whenever they're together is play childish pranks on each other. It is foolish and embarrassing. You should’ve seen what happened at Christmas.”

“Because I thought it was important that we all meet Raven. Plus Jason and Rose are getting married in a few weeks so—” Dick began what was cut off by the irate boy. 

“So Todd impregnates second hand Deathstroke and that’s a means for celebration?”  

Raven placed her hand on the young man’s shoulder and said with a half smile. “Dami, it’s fine. I’m really looking forward to meeting everyone in your family.”

“I’ll be honest,” Raven said once she was alone, “I grew up in a cult because my mother pledged herself to the dark lord. What fucked up family ties Damian is so afraid of, well they're nothing compared to mine. My dad’s the fucking Devil, not even a symbolic one, but a real one. Like he’ll eat your soul and shit out just feed it to you.”

“Dami?” Jason questioned as he honed in on the shred of perceived weakness. “You have a pet name!”

Again in a side interview, “Yes, Raven is fond of it, so I allowed it.”

“I’m the only one he let’s get away with stuff like that,” Raven smirked as she sat beside him. 

“I get her back in other ways,” he added impishly, Raven giving him a playful nudge as she blushed.

In a separate interview: “Bruce, I hope you know Damian or “Dami” is totally getting some,” Jason teased.

“Eh Jason stop,” Bruce urged in discomfort.

“Seriously though,” Dick countered, “he’s been a lot less blood thirsty and sometimes he’s actually in a good mood.”

“Yeah turns out the little shit just needed to get laid.”

“Seriously, you two are being ridiculous,” Bruce replied between the hero and the Outlaw. “But Dick if you could um have the talk with Damian, I would appreciate it.”

“No way,” Dick replied with a scowl. “Have Jason do it.”

“Yeah my girlfriend is currently knocked up so I’m probably not the best candidate,” Jason countered. “Sorry Bruce, you spawned it you bought.”

“Save it Todd, I do not need to be judged by the likes of you,” Damian scowled with warning, Jason looking into the camera with an eye roll as the boy continued. “But if you could simply set aside your childishness, I will set aside my contempt for you as I do not want to be embarrassed in front of Mother.” 

“Oh my god, fuck me,” was all Jason wished to say about it privately. 

“Relax Damian, we’re not gonna embarrass you,” Dick replied in their defense.

“Really Grayson?” Damian challenged, “May I remind you of the snowball fight?”

“That was epic,” Jason smiled mischievously and high-fived Rose.

Dick laughed at the memory of the entire debacle, but quickly pulled it back as Damian’s scowl deepened. “Okay so it got a little out of hand.”

“You two spent three days ambushing each other with snowballs in and outside of the manor trying to one up each other!” Damian hissed in disapproval.

“Dami stop,” Rose sang, daring to use his pet name and tousled his hair. “It was all in good fun.”

“Yeah,” Jason added with a shrug, taking out a flask filled with Old Crow. “So we brought the fight inside, big deal?” he reasoned, “no one got hurt.”

The youngest bat boy grimaced. “You both ended up with bloody noses and you gave Alfred a black eye.”

“Yeah, maybe the snowball fight was a bad idea,” Dick conceded, recalling there being quite a few casualties. One of which was a priceless Tiffany vase that belonged to Bruce’s grandmother that Jason “smoked” with a snowball as Dick dove out of the way. 

“You started it, Grayson.”

“So I went outside, made a snowball and huzzed it at Jason’s face. He would have done the same if he’d thought of it first.”

“Honestly, I wanna hear more about this snow fight,” Raven said with a dark intrigue. “Maybe Alfred will tell me more about it?”

“It’s not out of the ordinary for those two,” Alfred began as he recalled various moments throughout their childhood and adolescence. “Typically Master Richard will “start it,” if you will, and Master Jason will take it just a bit too far. It started when they were children after Master Richard convinced Master Jason to use the bed sheets to climb out of his bedroom window from the second floor. Obviously the linens didn’t hold and resulted in two broken arms. And when I say two I mean Master Jason broke Dick’s arm as pay back.”

“Alfred,” Bruce began as he looked on at pending chaos, “how’s the seating arrangement looking?”

“I knew the moment Damian said he wanted to have Raven over for dinner that this was gonna be a shit show,” Bruce stated when questioned on the matter. “So I made a very well planned and thought out seating arrangement… Which is now irrelevant… Now I have to fix the whole damn thing.” 

“Why yes Master Bruce, I have taken the liberty of rearranging the seating to keep Ms. Al Ghul as far away from you as possible.”

“Don’t forget we need a buffer between Dick and Jason,” Bruce added as he glanced at the piece of paper.

“I just have to keep everyone who hates each other apart long enough to get through a nice dinner. That’s it.”

“Okay, make sure you keep Rose and Cassandra apart, those two have something of a rivalry and other than that I think this looks good,” Bruce nodded in approval just as Talia came through the door. “Oh come on!” Bruce howled sorely as he noticed none other than Slade Wilson on Talia’s arm.

“I hope you don’t mind, Darling, I brought a date?” Talia replied with a shit eating grin, wearing a dress that barely covered her tits.

“They didn’t think I was walking into the Bat’s nest alone?”

“This is really bad,” Rose began in her interview. “My dad has no idea I’m knocked up yet and I am just at the end of my first trimester. So hiding it is gonna be rough.”

“I’m very much aware Rose is pregnant,” Slade commented privately. “For one, she’s been avoiding me more than usual, she’s skipped out on missions and I uh, got this from Wintergreen,” Slade added as he held out his phone to present a picture. “It’s a wedding invitation, for god sake. She didn't even invite me to her wedding!”

“Hello Rose,” Slade began with a bottle of wine in hand.

Rose, however, did not reply, simply and coldly walking away from the group toward the hall. Her pretty face sorely twisted in vexation.

"Rose, wait,” Jason called, following after her. “Rosie?”

“So how do I think this is going to go?” Slade continued through his interview. “Well considering my daughter can be quite difficult, not well.”

“Rose, it’s gonna be fine,” Jason tried as she silently entered the bathroom.  The Outlaw met with the door slamming in his face. “Rosie come on?” He reached for the handle, but found it locked up tight. “Open the door. Everyone’s staring?”

“I don’t care what they say about me,” Rose urged to the camera from inside the bathroom, “I’ll stay in here all night if I have to. Hell, I'll eat my dinner in here.”

“No way, I’ll starve her out if that's what it takes,” Jason claimed, looking straight into the camera “Rose open the door!”

“No!”

“What do I think of Rose hiding in the bathroom from her dad?” Raven began with familiarity. “For one, I totally get it. If my dad just showed up, I don’t even know what I’d do? People would die…” 

Slade glanced over at the scene of the Red Hood barking at his dearest daughter and shrugged, not even slightly surprised with her reaction. 

“Slade,” Bruce greeted, attempting to be the bigger man, though their history didn’t warrant it, and held out his hand.

“Wayne,” the white haired man replied and shook the Bat’s hand. “I apologize for my daughter.”

The camera then shot to Dick who wore a telling glare. 

“It should be noted that she is actually a really nice girl. She's just had a really shitty upbringing and an even shittier influence—her dad.”

“Rose, it’s Dick. I just wanna talk?”

“I’ve been training Rose for a few years now and she’s made a lot of progress. Except for the whole getting pregnant thing… That was sorta my fault..."

"Yeah, Dickhead here introduced us," Jason chimed in as the camera shot out to show him sitting there.

“I should have known better.”

“Alright why don’t we all take our seats while we wait for Ms. Wilson to finish up?" Alfred suggested in an effort to ease the tension building in the room. 

“You know it’s probably for the best if she stays in there,” Damian suggested as he placed his hand on the small of Raven’s back to escort her into the dinning room.  

“No actually, I don’t have a problem with Rose. She’s formidable and worthy of training with,” Damian explained. “But since she began carrying Todd's spawn, she’s become rather emotionally unstable. I watched her cry over a “viral video” where a young boy was reunited with his lost cat after 7 months. It was disturbing.”

“Oh my god, the cat video,” Rose sniffed through glassy eyes just at it's mention. 

“Yeah Rose is way more emotional than usual," Jason confirmed, "The pregancy hormones make her fucking hysterical sometimes. But the sex is incredible, so there’s that.”

“Rose come on, it’s time for dinner,” Jason called banging on the door. "Stop making a fucking scene."

“Here give me a minute with her,” Dick suggested in a fatherly tone, “go sit down, we’ll be right there.”

“So people like to say I have a way with “lost kids” and Rose is no different. I always find a way to get through to her,” Dick said with a positive smile.

The hero watched as Jason finally gave up in all his frustration and walked away, but waited to do his thing until the Outlaw was out of sight. 

“Okay Rose, I’m gonna level with you. Tonight is really important to Damian so if you could just put your hatred for your father on the back burner for just a few hours, that would be great…" He paused, but was met with silence. "And I’ll give you $100,” Dick added, holding a few fifty dollars bills.

“Two hundred.”

“Um yeah,” Dick grimaced, looking into his wallet and took note of his cash situation, “I only have one fifty on me.”

The door swung open and Rose emerged with a cold scowl, snatching the money from Dick’s hand. “You’re light?”

Dick glared at the camera and gave the irate girl the rest of the money she was promised.

"Don't judge me," Rose urged, "babies are expensive."

Dick simply shrugged into the camera, "It's what Bruce would have done." 

Meanwhile in the dining room, Bruce stood watching as everyone took their seats: He of course would be at the head of the table flanked by both Dick and Damian, Raven to Damian’s right to act as a buffer between his youngest son and Jason, leaving Rose next Talia, who (for all intensive purposes) insisted that she sit opposite of Bruce. To her right, and unfortunately right across from Rose, would Slade be seated, then Cassandra, Tim and back to Dick. 

“Alfred,” Bruce summoned. “Should we maybe think of moving Tim and Cass?”

“About that, Sir,” Alfred began as Dick and Rose made their entrance, Rose still pretty steamed as she shoved the wad of money down her rather short dress like an irate stripper. 

“Hey where’s Tiny Tim?” Jason asked, noticing the boy’s absence. 

“Oh Tim’s, he's not coming,” Dick noted in his interview.

“As I was attempting to tell you, Sir, Master Tim will not be joining us this evening.”

“Master Tim and the youngest Master don’t really care all that much for each other,” Alfred further explained. “Unlike Master Richard and Master Jason, they tend to see each other more as rivals and less as brothers, as opposed to the reverse. Master Richard did try his hardest to convince master Tim about attending. However, I’m afraid his efforts were fruitless.

“Little shit jumped the fence and I’m wearing dress shoes,” Dick droned in annoyance, recalling the chase. “I ate shit like six times in the yard chasing after him," he continued as footage of the incident played of Dick falling on the grass and of Tim kicking his older brother in the face as he narrowly escaped over the fence. "And Damian thought Jason was gonna be the one to give me a bloody nose."

A mournful look filled Alfred's face. “I fear those blood stains may never come out.”

“Of course I’m not going” Tim began from a secluded location inside the Wayne Manor grounds. “Damian is the worst thing to happen to this family. I’d rather hang out here in the woodshed than sit across from that little waste. I don’t care how hot his girlfriend is.”

“I’m not at all disappointed that Drake didn’t show,” Damian said with a light air of confidence. “He’s more of an embarrassment than Todd, at least he never runs from a challenge.”

“Believe me I wanted to,” Jason said as his comment was edited in.

“When Damian and I first met, I tried to be nice: he stabbed me,” Tim said, his face pinched in resentment.

“Awe that was awful,” Alfred mused recalling the incident, “I still can’t get the stains out of the carpet. I had to weave yet another tale about Master Bruce being a lush.”

“At Wayne Manor, every blood stain is a wine stain,” Jason added with a sarcastic thumbs up. “Except for the ones that aren't.”

“Seriously, I almost died and Bruce still kept him. They put dogs down for less!” Tim exclaimed with a boiling expression. “So yeah, I’m just gonna camp-out here in the woodshed: I got enough snacks and video games to hold me over for a few days. Plus this giant thermos of coffee to keep me properly caffeinated. I’ll pull an all nighter if I have to, fuck Damian.”

Damian’s response to Tim’s statement was simply a smirk and a single middle finger.  

“Okay Tim is not coming. Got it,” Bruce sighed realizing he’d lost this one. “Okay then.”

“Alright then,” Alfred began with a hint of worry in his voice, “if everyone is in attendance and seated, we can begin. Now Ms. Al Ghul’s guest was very kind as to bring us a bottle of 2007 Sassicaia.”

“I have no idea what that means,” Dick confessed unfazed.

 "I know exactly what that means,” Bruce said, very blase. “I just don’t care.” 

“I mean it’s not an unimpressive choice,” Alfred explained as footage was shown of him carefully pouring each guest a glass. “But Master Bruce’s wine collection has single bottles worth $10,000. The collection in its entirety is over a half million. Not that he cares. It’s clearly for show. Though he gifts me a bottle every now and then,” Alfred added with a grin. "Guess how much my wine collection is worth?"

“And for the lady,” Alfred began and leaned down to pour Rose a glass. 

“No, I’m good,” Rose smiled up at him, covering her wine glass.

“Oh Rose, don’t be silly,” Slade said from across the table, Rose looking at him with a harsh expression. 

“I promise I have nothing planned, I just want my daughter to admit she’s pregnant. That’s it.” 

“It’s a great bottle, you should try it,” Slade added with a nudge, everyone at the table sort of looking away, trying not to feed the flames. Except for Jason, who silently urged her to stand her ground.

“I don’t drink wine.”

“Okay then,” Slade sighed, giving up as Alfred began to pour a glass for Talia. “I mean you look like you don’t need the extra sugar anyway.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rose barked with offense as everyone at the table glared in their direction.

“He totally knows,” Jason mouthed as he looked over to Dick.

“Look’s like I’ll be spending the rest of the night looking over my shoulder,” Jason lamented once he was alone.

“Well you appear to be getting a little fat,” Slade replied with a smile, his daughter’s eye lit with rage.

“That’s real fucking nice, Slade! Calling your daughter fat!” Rose raged. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Normally I would hold this sort of behavior against Rose,” Damian reasoned. “But for a time it was thought that Deathstroke was actually my father. So watching Rose berate him in front of Mother is thoroughly entertaining,” he concluded as the camera shot to him snickering at the dinner table. 

“But if it will make you happy, I’ll have one,” Rose concluded in spite.

“Suit yourself,” was all Slade had to say as he smiled into the camera.

“Um, Ms. Wilson are you sure that’s a good idea?” Alfred tried, but she insisted he pour her a glass anyway.

"It's not a big deal, I'm allowed two glasses throughout my pregnancy," Rose explained. "I mean, was gonna max those out on my wedding night, but how much damage can it really do?"

“Well she skipped right into that one,” Jason grimaced at his fiance’s lack of judgement. “I’m gonna have to put an end to this.”

“Hey, Rosie,” Jason cooed lightly in her ear, “I really don’t think you should drink that.”

“Why not?”

“Really Rose?” The Outlaw drawled in monotone. "Our kid’s already gonna be fucked up as it is. It doesn't need to suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome  too."

“Because your dad brought it,” he said harshly leaning in, “so maybe he poisoned it?” though Slade could totally hear them.

“Did you?” Rose snarled at her father as he looked back in amusement.

“Of course not,” Slade insisted, but wore a look that left little promise. 

“No I’m not happy that Mother brought Wilson, nor did I tell her she could bring someone,” Damian began with annoyance as he sat next to Raven. "It's actually quite embarrassing, especially since it's clearly a ploy to upset Father."

"Damian wants his parents to get back together," Raven added to Damian's slight dismay.

"Is that true?" the interviewer asked.

Damian simply looked into the camera and asked, "Can we cut that out?"

“If he did, then why would he and Mother be drinking it?” Damian called from the other end of the table.

“Great point,” Rose said with a twitch, her father once again getting the better of her as she lifted the glass. 

It was at that moment Jason slapped the wine glass out of her hand, sending it shattering on the floor. “Oops,” he droned and glared into the camera

“What’s another wine stain?” he added with a dull shrug

He quickly dumped the contents of his own wine into Raven’s glass as she was sitting right next to him. The girl simply shrugged as she took a sip, not really fazed. 

“Hey I was cool with it," Raven confessed from the hall. “And Slade wasn’t wrong, that was a great bottle.”

“Raven, how is um school going?” Bruce asked, trying to change the subject.

“I think it's pretty clear I don’t really know how to talk to teenage girls,” he noted when later asked.

"It's fine, I'm starting to look into Universities." 

"Oh God, I hope Father doesn't go into his, "Have you considered Yale?" rant."

"Have you considered Yale?"

"And here we go," Jason scoffed under his breath and took a sip from Raven’s very full wine glass. “Wow that is good,” he said looking at the dark haired girl beside him as she nodded in agreement. 

"I have a theory," Jason began, "Bruce says he graduated from Yale, but he's never actually told any of us what his major was in. But after high school he was off traveling the world and training. He has no actual "college friends" nor have we met any. Alfred won't even talk about it. I don't think he actually went."

"I got accepted to Harvard," Raven replied, having no idea the monster she was about to awaken

"Of course I graduated from Yale. I have my diploma right here," The Bat said holding the framed certificate.

Jason looked into the camera and said, "Do you know how much money Bruce has? He probably bought it. There's a building named after him."

"That's really impressive," Bruce complimented. "Do you have an idea of what you'd like to major in?"

"If I'm being honest, I have no idea?" Raven confessed to the cameraman.

"Um I was thinking maybe medical, maybe law," Raven answered, hoping the Bat would be impressed.

"You know Raven, Yale has an excellent medical program," Bruce began. "It might be something to consider?"

Jason looked into the camera with a lifted brow and went in. "Isn't that what you majored in?"

"It was," Bruce confirmed, "but I settled on Law instead." 

"But you're not a lawyer?" Jason added, poking the Bat. 

"I never took my bar exam," Bruce clarified numbly. "Becoming a lawyer was never my intention."

"He never took his bar because his application was denied," Jason added in an irate tone. "I'm not just making this up, I put a lot of time into this and for once I’d like to be taken seriously."

"Jason has had a lot of crackpot theories in the past," Dick said, putting his two cents into the matter, "I mean, he thinks 911 was an inside job. So it's hard to say honestly if he's right. But I applied to Yale and my grade point average was a lot better than Bruce's, plus I was “a legacy”. But for some reason my application was denied? I’m just saying a broken clock’s right twice a day."

"Harvard offered me a scholarship," Raven replied, "plus Yale denied my application." 

"Damian, told me if Yale comes up to just tell his father that I wasn't accepted,” Raven added as she’d been coached on the matter, “ but I totally got into Yale, Harvard is just offering me a free ride." 

"I can always talk to the head of admissions, see if they can give your application another look," Bruce offered kindly, which was a refreshing change of pace.

Raven smiled, appreciating the offer. "It's fine, Damian was thinking of applying as well."

The camera shot to the younger Wayne as his eyes filled with fear before the great bus that was his parents.

"I haven't told my parents I wish to attend Harvard yet… I was kind of hoping that it just wouldn’t come up."

"Harvard Damian?" Bruce questioned rather aggressively, changing his tone. 

"Damian, is this true?" Talia asked.

"It's just something I'm considering," Damian reasoned. "Plus you both taught me I should have a plan B. I mean, Grayson didn’t get into Yale." 

"Because Dick avoided the work," Bruce insisted, pointing to Dick with wine glass in hand. 

"Are you kidding me?" Dick hissed as he more than killed himself trying to be the perfect son. "I still have the highest grade point average at Gotham Academy and the best athletic record!"

"Then why didn’t you go to Harvard?" Bruce asked hastily.

"I didn't apply because you said I'd get into Yale!” Dick exclaimed in fury at his father’s blatant rewrite of history. “Why else would I go to Hudson?"

"You didn't even graduate," Bruce huffed in ignorance, forgetting how hard Dick hit his breaking point during that time.

"I'll admit I handled that poorly," Bruce admitted ruefully. "I've just always had such high hopes for Dick, but he just can't seem to follow through."

The camera zoomed out on Bruce's stoic face to reveal Dick beside him, staring back with contempt. 

"Fuck you, Bruce"

"And you wonder why I never try?" Jason added from Bruce's opposite side.

Bruce simply lifted his brow, but said nothing as he sat between his former Robins. “Maybe I was a bit harsh with you both?”

“Understatement of the year,” Dick lamented, arms crossed as Jason confirmed with a nod.

“At least you lived long enough to go to College.”

“Jason, who are you kidding, you were never going to college,” Bruce grimaced, shutting him down.

“That’s a fair assumption.”

"Well Damian Harvard is a lovely choice," Talia said, cutting through the noise as she pushed her dark hair off her shoulder.. 

"Mother's always been very supportive of my endeavors," Damian said. "Except for swearing not to kill people… she's not a fan of that." 

"But Yale does offer you the opportunity to join the Order of The Skull and Bones," Talia continued. "If you join then you'll have an open invitation into the Illuminati."

Bruce glared back at the dark haired woman, blithely holding her wine as if she’d commented on the weather. "On second thought, son. Harvard is a great school."

"And far away from your cunting mother,"  the Bat added disapprovingly. 

In a separate interview. “I really don’t think your family is that embarrassing,” Raven assured looking back at Damian. “I mean, it’s not like your parents are a bunch of psychotic murderers?” 

Damian simply looked back at the camera and smiled. “She has what I'm told is my number.”

“Bruce’s reaction is very typical. He’s very closed minded in regards to my beliefs” Talia began, expressing her frustrations with the father of her child. “I gave him a beautiful, intelligent and strong willed son, not all that different from himself, but he insists upon raising him to be mediocre. I should have just lied from the beginning and told everyone he was Slade’s.” 

“Oh my god, I want a cigarette so bad,” Rose whispered to Jason. The thought of sitting across from her father more stressful than she hoped.

“We talked about this, you can’t have one,” the Outlaw hummed in reply and took a sip of his flask. 

“Well then can you smoke one and I’ll watch? Please, Jay?” She pleaded as Talia glanced into the camera with question. 

“On second thought, his track record isn’t fantastic either,” was all Talia had to say in regards to her former protege having a child with Rose Wilson. “None of this shocks me. Got genes though; if nothing else, their child will be beautiful.”

“So now that things have calmed down after the first course, everyone is mostly talking amongst themselves,” Dick expressed. “And other than Bruce checking his phone every 5 minutes, things seem to be going better. But it’s kinda boring, so I started a tally,” he added and held up a dinner napkin with everyone’s name on it. “I know this sounds awkward, but for the first time, ever, I’m the only one who hasn’t had sex with anyone in the room. This is a big deal for me… Except for Cass and Alfred, I don’t even think they know what sex is.”

Cassandra glanced over and snickered as she noticed the names sketched across the napkin. 

“Cassandra is a mute, so she doesn’t talk,” Dick continued as there was little known about the young girl. “She was brought up similar to Damian in a way, only her mother completely isolated her from people in general. She lived most of her life alone and was not permitted to talk to people and denied basic human interaction. She makes Damian’s upbringing seem tame.” 

“I can talk,” Cassandra confirmed, “these people are just idiots and it’s easier not to say anything. You’re not gonna show them this, right?”

“Dick what are you scribbling on your napkin?” Bruce asked looking up from his phone. 

“I’m making a grocery list,” Dick replied and covered the napkin, keeping the tally a secret. 

Suddenly the doorbell rang pulling everyone’s attention front and center. 

“Who the hell is that?” Damian asked quite gruffly and looked at his father who appeared a little concerned.   

“It’s probably just Tiny Tim looking for a coffee refill,” Jason guessed biting into a breadstick

Bruce said nothing as Alfred emerged after answering the door. “Master Bruce, you have a… visitor?” the butler announced with a question. 

“Now?” Bruce replied with a lost expression on his face, everyone, but mostly Damian, giving him very suspicious looks.

“Um she said you invited her?” Alfred explained. “She insisted.”

“What can I say,” Alfred shrugged in the hall, “I get bored.”

“SHE?” Both Damian and Talia questioned in unison. 

Bruce simply stared blank in a rare moment, completely speechless as the camera caught the rarely seen moment. 

“For fuck sake, if Father did what I think he did…” Damian began to reason.

It was then she emerged from the hall like a dark angel materializing from a cloud of smoke and ash. 

“Ms. Selena Kyle everyone,” Alfred announced in a cautious tone, then immediately filed out to avoid the pending shit show ahead. 

Bruce simply said nothing in an awkward moment, still struggling for words among the dead silence and stares. Dick looked over to his adoptive father with a look of shock while Talia glared at the woman with daggers. 

“Well there goes me not having had sex with anyone at the table,” Dick reasoned in defeat.

A shot of him balling up the tallied napkin and shoving it in his barely touched wine, followed. The white napkin staining red like that of his reputation.

“Really, Wayne?” Damian barked like an irate dog.

“And here I thought Father would be the last person to humiliate me in front of my girlfriend. Fucking hell!”

Within moments a muffled chuckling could be heard as Jason was struggling to keep his shit together, but was clearly losing the fight. 

“I’m sorry,” he tried, but began laughing harder and placed his hand over his mouth as he struggled to keep it in. “I’m sorry... I’m having a hard time taking this seriously,” he added as he rose from the table. “I’m gonna go get my shit together, I’ll be back.”

“Wait!” Rose ordered, “take me with you.”

“Nooo,” Jason said, “you stay here, I’m gonna go make a bad life choice,” he hummed getting ready to exit. “Alright now you guys have fun.”

“So Bruce and Selena have had this really messed up on and off again relationship for years, like since we were kids,” Jason explained as he lit his cigarette. “Like I remember this one time, Selena tried to give him an ultimatum and Bruce told her that he wanted to marry her… someday but not today… and just kept repeating that,” Jason continued taking a drag. “And then when that day finally came, she left him standing at the altar like an asshole as payback. Which is why Damian absolutely hates her, it’s pretty funny though.”

“So Damian, I hear you’re dating now,” Selena began trying to lift the awkward silence and make an effort.

Damian nodded with a still expression, “I hear you’re still a gold digging whore.”

“Like my father, I made the mistake of trusting that horrible woman,” Damian said arms crossed and brow knit. “If Father wants to indulge in that spoiled meat, then fine. I on the other hand… she’ll be lucky if I even spit in her direction.”

“Damian!” Bruce barked in an angry tone.

“Bruce Darling, do you really think you’re in a position to scold him?” Talia asked from across the table in defense of her cub. “You can’t think inviting her was appropriate?”

“Excuse me?” Bruce replied. “You brought him,” Bruce motioned gesturing to Slade, “into my home!”

“I’m sensing a little jealousy, Bruce?” Talia said as if it was nothing, but it was everything. “Tell me, Dear, were you jealous of Jason and I?” Talia added Jason reentered the room and paused. 

Damian shot him a shattering glare filled with question at the insinuation. The Outlaw pressed his lips awkwardly and turned once more and left. 

“What the fuck Talia?” Jason hissed into the camera. “Damian can’t know that. That little psycho's gonna cut my nuts off.”

The Camera shot to Selena mid eye roll, realizing she’d been summoned on a vengeful whim. She glanced at the man to her left, his elder son who she’d gotten to know more intimately then any of Bruce’s other children. Her hand found his thigh as Dick glanced back at her like are you for real? Raven catching the subtle exchange nobody seemed to notice.

“I’ve known Dick for a few years now and it doesn’t surprise me,” Raven said deadpan. “But I’m starting to see why Damian’s concerned about what people think of his family.”

“It’s really starting to feel like Bruce and Talia are having a contest to see who can make everyone the most uncomfortable: I can’t tell you who’s winning,” Dick lamented. 

“Hahem,” Alfred coughed, clearing his throat as the lamb he'd been slaving over was now ready and waiting to be served. “Tonight we shall be having a Slow Roasted Leg of Lamb served over a bed of yellow rice and garnished with a garlic butter sauce.”

The camera then shot to Rose whose face read deep worry. 

“I love the meat, don’t get me wrong, but the smell of it makes me wanna toss my cookies so hard.”

She placed her hand over her mouth and nose to block the smell and took a deep breath. 

“You alright right, Rose?” her father asked, catching the nauseated look on her face. 

She slowly nodded. “I just don’t like the smell of lamb.”

“Really, I don’t recall you having such a sensitive stomach?”

“Well considering you weren’t around, why would you?” Rose snapped, but immediately held back the urge to gag. 

“I blame Rose’s behavior on her mother,” Slade sighed when asked about the subject. “If I had not known that I even had a daughter and she was being raised in such a filthy environment I would have never allowed it. People blame me for her upbringing, but I wasn’t the one whoring myself out in the next room so… For some reason she hates me for it.”

“That’s not why I hate you,” Rose replied, glaring at her father as she sat beside him. 

“If you want my attention, Rose, I'm right here.”

“Hey Alfred would it be alright if I ate my dinner in the other room?” Rose asked as the smell was getting the better of her. 

“Well of course,” he began, but was interrupted before the conversation could even thrive.

“Is there any reason why you’d have to leave the table?” Slade asked as he set down his plate.

“I’m not feeling well,” Rose replied and closed her eyes.

“That’s odd, you were fine a minute ago? Are you sure you there’s nothing else that’s making you sick.”

“Fine I’ll stay,” Rose said, once again giving into her dad. “But if everyone at this end of the table could not eat the lamb, I would really appreciate it.”

“And why would we do that?” Slade asked daringly. 

“Because I’ll vomit,” Rose replied flatly as her father began to cut into the lamb before him.  

He shoved the cut in his mouth, his daughter struggling to keep herself composed. 

“Really Slade?”

“It’s delicious, Rose, you should try it.” Slade looked at Talia who gave Rose a condescending smirk.

“I’ll try it,” Talia added and accepted a plate from Alfred.

“I have no idea what is about to happen, but I know shit’s about to hit the fan,” Bruce confessed privately, as he’d seen the look Rose wore on Jason’s face a time or two.

A numb look filled Rose’s face as Talia began to blissfully eat the lamb beside her. With vengeful glance, she leaned over and lifted Talia’s purse from the floor, not taking her eyes off the deadly assassin. 

“You are aware that’s mine?” Talia questioned sternly.

Rose said nothing as she opened the high end leather bag and proceeded to vomit into it as if it were less than an air sickness bag. Shrieks and sickening groans could be heard as each person acted out in their disgust. Rose glaring up at her father and his date with a look in her that warned do not to fuck with her. 

“I literally throw up every single day and I’ve lost 5 pounds because the life growing inside me is trying to kill me. So Don’t fuck with me,” She warned in a cold tone.

“I believe this is yours?” Rose said, wiping her mouth and placing the bag beside Talia, who wasn’t smiling anymore.

“I’m not hungry,” the woman conceded as Cassandra wore a grinning respect from across the table.

“Well played, Wilson,” Cas smiled.

When asked about it, Raven only has this to say, “Wow.”

“Disgusting, but effective,” Damian added with a nod.

Bruce simply stared across the table at Talia, a little delighted at her look of shock and horror. Dick however scrambled for his phone and began typing madly. 

Somewhere else on the Wayne property Jason sat, high as a kite, next to Tim, the two playing Mortal Combat while discussing Street Fighter more in depth than one could really imagine. 

“So what I don’t get is how is Guile American, but Jean Claude Van Damme is like German?” Jason droned while punching Tim’s character in the face. “Like he’s such a shitty actor he can’t even do an American accent.”

“I don’t even know who you’re talking about?” Tim replied, “Dude what the fuck?” Tim barked as Jason paused the game.

“Sorry my phone keeps vibrating,” Jason said, taking it out and reading the text from Dick. “Wait, does this say what I think it does?” he added, passing the phone to Tim. 

“Jay where the hell are you? Rose just puked in Talia’s purse! What?!”  Tim recited with a shock. “Then you have like three texts bitching at you to answer. Wanna make a bet the bag didn’t come from Target?”

“Unlikely,” Jason confirmed slowly. 

“What do you want me to say?”

“Tell him I’m never coming back,” Jason said at a loss for what to do in all stony wonder. 

Tim only stared at the Outlaw and shook his head. 

“Okay fine, ask him why Van Damme is German.”

“I still have no idea what the fuck he’s talking about,” Tim grimaced outside the woodshed.

Dick glanced down as his phone buzzed and read the odd message. “Dude’s he’s Dutch,” Dick muttered while typing aloud.

“Who’s Dutch,” Bruce muttered as he glanced over at Dick. 

“Jean Claude Van Damme,” Dick replied, sending the message. “Jason thinks he’s German.”

“He’s Belgian,” Bruce replied with a side eye.

“No he’s not,” Selena corrected. “He’s French, right? Jean Claude.”

“No he’s definitely Belgian,” Bruce reiterated. “Plus Van Damme isn’t French.”

“Honestly, does it matter,” Talia added. “There’s not much of a difference between those people.”

“That sounded kinda racist,” Rose later noted. 

“I think the better question is why did he play Guile?” Slade asked as he apparently had the same casting issue as Jason. 

“What the hell is everyone talking about?” Damian groaned as he was too young to recall the actor's coke fueled career in the 90’s..

“Just some washed up movie star,” Selena said. “I would have let him pet my kitty back in the day though. There’s something to be said for a man with generous flexibility.” 

She gave Dick a kittenish grin and squeezed his thigh.

“No, I had nothing to do with Selena and Bruce breaking up,” Dick assured through an eye roll. “What happened between us was years ago and it was one time, I guess she was trying to make Bruce jealous. Only Bruce doesn’t get jealous… or at least I thought he didn’t.”

“You’re really a vile woman, Kyle,” Damian replied with contempt. “You have some nerve being here.”

“Me?” the woman snapped. “Your mother drugged your father and then didn’t tell him you existed for 10 years, and you think I’m vile?”

“Excuse me,”Talia howled in her defense, “but not only did you leave him at the altar, but you also drugged him into thinking he was in love with you.”

Selena grimaced and snapped back, “You slept with his son!”

“What!” Damian exclaimed. 

“So did you!”

“Jason, you slept with Catwoman!” Rose and Slade both barked as he blindly entered the room.

“What—NO!” Jason replied defensively. 

“But you slept with my mother, Todd!” Damian barked, rising to his feet in outrage. 

“Who the fuck told you that!”

“Honestly, right now,” Dick breathed warily, “I’m just struggling to understand how something as obscure as Jean Claude Van Damme’s nationality could be the straw to break the camel's back? Or in this case you could replace the straw with a kilo.” 

“Y’know, I think everyone just needs to calm down,” Raven sang in a soothing tone. 

“And be disrespected by some whorish woman with a bat fetish?” Talia snapped venomously. 

“Talia, please,” Bruce frowned from across the table, everyone still bickering amongst themselves.

“You’re brat started it,” Selena defended, gruffly as she stood to meet Talia’s height. 

“How dare you call my son a brat! He’s an al Ghul, for God Sake!” the woman barked back as Bruce, again, tried to reason with both of them. 

“Big fucking deal, you’re still nothing but a bunch of assholes!” Selena hissed in her poisonous tone, finally inginiting Bruce’s tipping point. 

“EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Bruce exclaimed, finally losing his composure and totally lost it. “Selena, I love you, but Damian is not a brat, he’s just misunderstood because his MOTHER deprived him of a childhood. I’m not even gonna address the fact that both of you,” he added pointing to each of his exes, ''have prayed upon my sons in the past in an effort to hurt me. Slade, Rose is pregnant, you clearly know that. So as opposed to baiting her into putting her child at risk, why not just ask her? Rose, stop letting your dad drive you to do stupid self-destructive shit, you’re gonna be a mom, grow up. That means you too Jason. Cass, I know you can talk and Dick thank you for trying to keep your shit together, Raven I apologize for the shit show that is this family. And Damian, I tried. Sorry,” Bruce concluded with a groan as he fell into his chair and lifted his still very full wine glass and chugged the whole goddamn thing.

“No, I normally don’t swear like this,” Bruce clarified in his defense for verbal abnormalities. “However everyone is acting like animals and stressing me the fuck out.”

“Yeah when Bruce swears that Much you know it’s bad,” Dick added as he’d seen Bruce lose his cool a few times, mostly on Jason. 

Everyone was left speechless as the dirty laundry loomed overhead, creating an awkward truth so bitter it was almost sweet. Until it was finally broken with the sound of disappointment and hurt.

“Fuck this,” Damian growled and threw down his napkin. “I asked you all to be normal for one night, and none of you could do that… I apologize for my family, Raven,” he added as he stood and left the table.

“Damian?” she questioned watching him storm out of the dining room. 

Once in the hall, he made his way out of the manor entirely, leaving those who humiliated him, though the cloud of embarrassment followed. 

Today was the day. The one Damian Wayne had been dreading since the day he’d met her. Damian was far from the romantic that his eldest brother was, but he was more a cynic than Jason Todd. Still, somehow when he looked at Raven he knew that one day she’d become more than a friend, and now she had. And all he wanted was for his family to understand how hard it was for him. To wait and to watch, to speak and listen, to grow and to acknowledge that he could love someone that deeply. That he had overcome his fear and let his wall down just enough to let someone else in. Each day removing another brick and letting her see him for who he was behind the stone and the cold front. That she could see him as something more than the “Demon’s Son.” Maybe Damian was a bit of a romantic?

“Damian!” Raven called as she finally reached him out on the lawn where he’d plopped himself down and began looking up at the stars. 

He turned his head and took a deep breath, he’d not want her to see him so defeated. Sure she had seen him after a failed battle, but this defeat was different, this defeat came from the hands of his family. And like many, sometimes, those defeats cut us up the most. 

“Raven,” Damian greeted in dull fashion as she knelt down beside him, her face dripping with concern. 

“Are you okay?”

He shook his head and bit his bottom lip, wanting to scream no! “I’m fine.”

Raven could feel the anger burning in his heart and knew that he truly wasn’t. “It’s okay if you’re not?”

Damian simply exhaled and said nothing, looking up at the arches of moon-lite stars. 

Raven purses her lips as she knew getting him to let go would be difficult. So she switched tactics. “What are you doing?”

“Thinking of my grandfather,” Damian admitted, which if Raven were anyone else he would have never said so much. “I know he wasn’t the great man I thought he was but…” he paused as the words caught in his throat and bled bitterness onto his tongue

“He was there for you when no one else was,” Raven said, finishing his mournful thought.

She watched as his jaw tightened and his eyes fell closed, feeling the sentiment. “Yeah,” he took another breath and glanced upward again. “When I was really young he told me that the great kings of the past look down on us from those stars. And whenever I felt alone to just remember that those kings will always be there to guide me… And he would too.”

Raven lifted her brow as the camera caught her glance. “That’s really profound, Damian.”

“Yes, I’m aware that the whole “great Kings of the past” thing came from the Lion King,” Raven smiled and shook her head in irony. “I didn’t have the heart to tell him that though, I can’t take that away from him. But hey, maybe it means whatever Damian saw in R’as, it was good?”

“You probably think my family is a joke,” Damian sighed in a pitiful tone

“I had fun tonight,” Raven confessed with a sly grin, the young assassin looking up at her perplexed.

“You’re kidding?” Damian blurted in shock. “They’re a fucking freak show!”

“”No,” Raven insisted. “I mean yeah, things got a little out of hand, but—”

“You can’t be serious, Raven?” Damian scowled with question. “They’re obnoxious and rude and humiliating. For fuck sake my Mother had sex with Todd!”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t think about that right now,” Raven suggested and pushed herself over to Damian.

“I mean yes, your family has a colorful history and some dirty laundry you probably didn’t need to know. But overall, they’re funny and exciting. Are they messy and complicated, yes, but they love you and they accept you for the messy complicated person that you are. I would kill for that.”

“You can’t be serious?”

“The only family I have is a murderous demon lord who wants to kill you,” Raven said flatly.

Damian simply looked back as he conceded her point, “You may have a point. But that’s setting the bar pretty low.”

“The point is, Damian,” Raven began taking his hand, “I love you and I love your family because they see in you the way I do… Except for maybe your mother, she clearly sees you as a pawn, but she loves you in her own way.”

Damian rolled his eyes and took another breath. “Bringing you here was so hard.”

“I know…” 

“I just…” he stopped and glanced down at her hand in his. “I knew from the moment I saw you that you and I were meant to be something to each other. You’re the only person I’ve ever felt that for… I just want you to see me as the man you’ll someday… never mind.”

“I always wanna tell her more than I do,” Damian explained as to why he never finished his thought, “but I never know if it’s too much or not enough. I wrote this letter a few years ago after Grayson told me I should tell her how I felt. As you can see, I still haven’t given it to her. Someday I will.”

“He’ll tell me one day,” Raven smiled warmly, somehow knowing the words he wouldn’t say. 

“I know,” Raven confessed as she leaned in, “I felt the same thing and I still do, it doesn’t matter how crazy your family is.”

Damian reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, letting his hand fall and lifted her chin to meet his eager lips. Her lips fell into a part pout as their breath mingled and their arms coiled around one another tightly. 

“You sure you wanna endure the hellscape which is my family,” Damian asked against her lips earnestly.

“I’ve endured worse for you,” Raven smiled as he pulled her into his lap and kissed her deeper and more possessively, letting his hands wander down. Raven giggled feeling his breath tickle her neck and glanced over to notice the camera crew documenting the heated kiss. “Uh Dami?...”

Dami glanced up from her neck and paused as his mouth fell ajar. “Maybe we should take this inside?”

“Good idea,” she agreed as she stood up and fixed her dress, Damian following suit.

“We’re gonna have to sneak in though, there’s no way my father’s gonna let us go up stairs alone,” Damian added, taking Raven’s hand. 

“I can help with that,” Raven said with a kittenish grin and developed them in a wave of black energy, successfully losing the camera crew. Little did they know Damian’s parents were watching. 

“Not happening,” Bruce said in a dark tone. 

“Darling, let them have their fun,” Talia smirked, wrapping her arm around his. “Maybe we could have our own fun as well?”

Bruce glanced at Talia with a stoic, but thoughtful look then addressed the camera. “It’s a love hate relationship kinda thing.”

“Don’t judge.”

Meanwhile, everyone stepped out into the driveway to make their way home among the muffled goodbyes and awkward silences. 

Jason placed his arm around Rose, though he knew she was a little irate about him leaving her alone with her father and Talia. Him getting stoned didn’t help either.

“So you threw up in Talia’s purse?”

“Yep and I gave it right back to her,” Rose confirmed with a nod.

“That’s my girl.”

It was then they heard Rose’s name called, the pregnant girl turning to find her father not far behind. 

“Am I upset that my daughter is pregnant so young, sure,” Slade admitted, but continued, “but I’m upset that she doesn’t trust me enough to tell me, but that’s also my fault.” 

“What? You gonna tell me how shameful I am?” Rose asked in a gruff tone.

“Rose please,” Slade insisted as he stepped toward her. “I just wanna talk.”

“Rose just hear him out,” Jason urged, hoping for the best.

Rose grimaced deeply as she crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you want?”

“Nothing,” Slade replied. “It’s just that this situation has shown me that I haven’t been there for you and I would like to be, if you let me… I wanna be able to give you away at your wedding and I want to be there when you become a mother.”

“I just hope I’m not too late,” he added ruefully, realizing he’d lost his greatest prospective.

“Is he being serious?” Rose asked in straight confusion.

“What am I supposed to say to that?” was all Rose could say. “How do I know you’re not trying to play me like you always do?”

“I know, Rose,” Slade agreed with his hand up in surrender. “And I’m sorry. The way I treat you is wrong and I should know better, I’m your father, but I have far from acted like it.”

“You hardly act like it,” Rose said with teary eyes. 

“Please just give me one chance, Rose. I want to be a part of my grandchild’s life.”

Rose looked over at Jason whose face had actually softened from the doubtful scowl he’d warned when her father had first approached. 

“Fine, you can come to the wedding,” Rose conceded uncrossing her arms, “as for “giving me away” we’ll see.”

The older man smiled, determined to earn his daughter’s love once again.

“As a father, I’ve often felt like a failure,” Slade stated sadly. “I failed both my boys, and in a lot of ways, I’ve failed my little girl too. But maybe now I’ll get the second chance I should have taken with her years ago.”

The camera shot to Slade hugging a reluctant Rose and shaking Jason’s hand, congratulating them both. Then handed Rose a check for a large sum of money.

“Dad, if you’re watching this,” Rose drawled with sigh, “I love you, but it’s gonna cost you. This is a good start,” she smiled and held up the check.

In the distance Selena had caught up to Dick who was attempting to avoid her by getting into his car. 

“Dick wait,” she called in a velvet sigh before he could close the door. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” Dick asked cautiously, looking around to see if anyone was paying any attention to them. 

“What are you doing later?”

“Um…” he groaned, dragging his voice, “I was gonna meet up with some friends?”

Her lips curled just at the corners as she added, “You thinking of taking any of them home?”

His brow knit in question. “Uh no, why?”

“Okay then” Selena replied impishly. “I’m gonna go meet up with a girlfriend of mine and then we’ll meet you at your place round 2?”

“... Okay,” he agreed though he quickly regretted it. 

“I’m gonna have a threesome so whatever,” he added in his interview about the sordid hookup “Plus Bruce and Selena are never getting married, sooo.”

“All in all, was tonight really that bad?” Damian concluded with his arm wrapped tightly round Raven. “Yes, I’ve never been more humiliated in my life, but at least I know that no matter how fucked up my family is or how defeated I feel, I’ll still have my beloved.”

“You’re so possessive,” Raven cooed.

“Damn straight,” Damian breathed, pulling her into a fevered kiss.

The Camera then shot to Damian and Raven attempting to sneak upstairs for some well earned alone time. Only Bruce intercepted with his deathly Dark Knight stare from the top of the staircase.

“Now I see where you get it from,” Raven noted looking up at the towering Bat.