#roguecmd

cathexis.

because david, much to his detriment, invests plenty of his emotional energy into people and their ideas (dreams). because of his environment, and the tragedy that befallen him with the violent loss of his mother, it's survival-wired attachment. his identity is poured into those who helped shape him, and their goals and ideals for him tether him to his own humanity in a world purposed to sever that.

if he stopped fighting for his family's dreams (gloria, marine, etc), it'll be as though he stopped being himself.

i can break this down a little further with the three main parties in his life.

lucy. she is his sanctuary, his anchor. her dreams of going to the moon become his mouth outta hell. it's not that desperation that attaches him to her but with definition. if she believes there's something better outside of night city, then he subconsciously programs himself into becoming someone worth more than nc has designed for him. with the death of maine and his mother, his selfhood is invested entirely into her. this is why he loses an ounce of his humanity when their communication becomes increasingly complicated. it was his humanity, his humans connections, that made him unique and helped him stay mentally afloat for as long as he did.

gloria. she was his mother. his reason he existed. his reason. his grief, he never had a chance to properly grieve him. it calcified into fuel when her underworld entanglements came barreling into his home. cathexis means she's not just a memory for david—she’s a cause. his entire body, his mods, his choices.... in school.. in the streets.. on the ripperdoc's slab... they all orbit that loss. that trauma became him.

the edgerunners = a family of ghosts. he loved them. they were his mother's only other attachments. their deaths don't just haunt him, they have residency inside him. every fight he engages in, every detour he takes into the fighter's pits after he enhances himself with maine's gorilla arms, he carries the edgerunners with him. his rage in the streets is personal. he's not just avenging them. he inherited them.

so yeah, cathexis is devoting oneself in the shape of identity. moving on, half-feel, David doesn't know none of that. he commits to it wholeheartedly. sometimes it's violent. it's what makes him powerful, but it's also what's killing him. it's difficult for him to detach. he only knows how to be the burning bright star for what he loves. even if it leaves nothing of him behind. and i mean nothing. not an ash, not even an atom.

A  short  bereaved  gasp  .  ❝   Why  ?  !  Have  you / @roguecmd seen  one  ?  !  ❞    His  voice  sporadic  as  he  twitches  ,  suddenly  unnerved  . 

♔.*    ―    ❝   I  hear  noises  under  the  floor  !  ❞    &  More  .  He  isn't  certain  if  it's  ghosts  or  any  other  celestial  beings  .  He  has  seen  them  take  form  in  NPCs  of  his  world  any  nightmare  was  possible  so  long  as  the  artificial  deity  that  reigned  could  will  it  into  existence  .    

❝   &  when  I  think  I  hear  a  voice  in  my  head  ?  !  ❞  

Before  Kinger  was  once a  man  who  believed  in  solid  facts  a  man  of  𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  not  superstition  .

Send in ✏️ and I’ll use this (improved) incorrect quote generator featuring both our muses!

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Staaaaaares right back at him then that mouth slowly curved.