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what they don't tell you about shb is that we're actually seeing run 100 of a timeloop where thancred has fucked things up in some way every prior time and thats why his behavior is Shutting Up And Trying To Stand Still. he completely blunders into the True Path which might not even be the Best path
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thancred and urianger at their hotel room's minibar before they have to report in for msq duty on the 28th
y'shtola: good but mean driver. refuses to let people merge. goes 90 on the freeway. if you spill something in her car you have to get the wet wipes from the trunk and clean it up. public radio, the classical station, or science podcasts and will not share the aux. does not make you pay for gas unless you're thancred. has a really nice sedan that smells good. don't ask about her insurance premium.
urianger: genuinely hates driving and only barely got a license at age 18 because moenbryda's parents wanted them to have some form of ID that isn't their passport. passenger seat princess bc they get carsick easily, but also isn't a very good navigator. if they have to drive they go 10 miles under the speed limit and will only take surface streets, no freeways, and will pray to the crystals they keep in their tote bag for protection against malicious forces. will play weird music that isn't great for driving if you let them have the aux.
alphinaud: very good driver, assiduous turn signal user, but drives his dad's tesla (he will eventually get his own prius). always listening to some podcast but will share the aux if you ask (and if there isn't a new episode of pod save eorzea). wants you to pay your share of the gas money.
alisaie: got herself an old used jeep and loves it to death. loves going fast on the freeway. lets you eat in her car and shares her car snacks. has been burning CDs of her playlists so she can play her music in the car. would share the aux with certain friends but nobody carries around CDs. pretty decent driver but can get distracted occasionally, but also probably the most fun to be driven by. wants you to talk with her if you're carpooling with her.
thancred: drives like a dad. will let you have the aux, which you should take because he just puts on whatever rock/alt station he can find and doesn't switch off it if imagine dragons starts playing. has a dented dusty SUV so he's always the one hauling stuff. should probably vacuum it. yells at people when they cut him off.
ryne: still learning how to drive and is extremely anxious about it, but does kind of enjoy it. she gets nervous about driving a big SUV and has been getting some of her hours in with y'shtola since her car is smaller and her corrections make her less anxious than thancred's. a good navigator/copilot. is going to put a beanie baby up on the front dash when she gets her own car.
personally one of my favorite things about the bard quests is that both of them could just be lesbians. guydelot with the shitty self-cut short hair with a bad dye job and 3 days worth of eyeliner caked on. sanson with the Sensible Low Ponytail who runs this bard unit like it's the god damn navy. i know these dykes they could be my coworkers
ryne will text urianger photos of her dinner or plants she saw and urianger will send her little rhyming couplets in reply. example:
🐁 pho tonight! [slightly blurry photo]
🦒 Savor, sweet, salt, stir / Thy spoon, thy chopsticks, all concur
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it is an often-repeated fact that alphinaud and alisaie are the youngest entrants to the studium ever at age 12, and like it's crazy that these infants got into harvard, but the narrative does not seem to remember/notice/care that thancred was an archon by 17 (he has the archon marks in the 1.0 ul'dah start flashbacks, where minfilia's 12 and he's 17). also he got picked up by louisoix as "an adolescent" so he had spent at most 7 years in sharlayan by the time he got his PhD in "espionage and survival". SHAKES HIM. WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU LITTLE MAN. WHAT DID YOU GET UP TO IN SHARLAYAN SPY SCHOOL. DID THEY MAKE YOU A TOOL, BOY. DID THEY HONE YOU INTO THEIR SHARP OBJECT
bitching and complaining abt xiv fandom under the cut, do not take this personally
smth i find very frustrating about ffxiv fandom (primarily on bsky/twt, it's not as bad on tumblr) is that character discussion is based mostly on how npcs interact with individuals' wols. there have been many times where i've witnessed or experienced a post about an npc's character traits or storyline be repeatedly replied to with something that is not actually part of the text (a person's re-interpretation into their player character's story). i feel that, in a majority of the fandom, analysis of the canon text is secondary to how the text can be used within each individual's sandbox. it's not necessarily a bad thing, have fun out there, but personally it isn't something i am used to in fandom. like for example it baffles me how unpopular almost every npc ship is; most fandom production is put into wolnpc stuff. the story and the characters and the text itself feels less like a work that we are all enjoying and more like something people skim for stuff they like and can re-interpret to their own desires. and i'm sorry but i am here for the text that i experienced. not for one million retellings with a different main character. like i like my friends' characters because they are my friends' characters and i like my friends. but it puzzles me how hard it is to find people who just talk about NPCs rather than their wol and also whatever npcs they want to include. like can we talk about the actual canon characters for once
but genuinely shoutout to the xiv fandom on tumblr for having more like. meta about the story. i ♥ long posts
and to be clear i don't think being player-character-centric transformative is necessarily a "lesser" or "morally inferior" way of engaging w the text. like i am genuinely glad when people have truly harmless fun (until they start getting racist/homophobic with it). it is simply frustrating to me how it dominates the landscape of the fandom and makes it very difficult to find stuff that i'm interested in and want to read. i don't know strangers. i am not that interested in most strangers. i am in this fandom because i like the story and the characters. imagine you went to a movie watch party and they played the movie but afterwards nobody talked about the actual movie and all the other random people at the party would only talk about how they would write the movie if they were the main character. THE MOVIE. AREN'T WE HERE FOR THE MOVIE.
like urianger is my favorite character. you all know this. but i am just not interested in half of urianger content, which is urianger paired with random player characters who are not part of the text of ffxiv. i am interested in urianger's interactions and bonds with the characters in the text. you know, the game i played. i am interested in the game i played.
i think this is made exponentially more frustrating by being a lesbian lmao
thanurishtola in bestways burrow
what square enix doesn't understand is that the cutest thing is not the loporrits, but urianger reacting to the loporrits.
(as per usual with my posts, urianger is transfem here)
