#robert morgul

Costya: "Leslie... He's so cute... Just adorable... I forgot what I was talking about..." Leslie: Costya?

Costya: I want to order a pizza... with pineapples. Yes, you heard right! (Leslie made him....)

THE MOMENTS WHEN ROBERT LOSES HIS HEAD

Alfred cuts it off. It’s actually a pretty convoluted and bizarre story, so I’ll skip ahead to the second one — the one that explains how he got his scar and tattoo.

Robert notices that demons aren’t exactly fond of Satan’s rule, so he decides to organize elections in Hell — just to hand over power to someone else (even if that “someone” ends up being himself). Compounding this is the fact that Roby can’t keep his promise not to make Alice Pure. All of this pushes Satan over the edge: he nearly rapes Roby in a fit of rage. Robert responds with icy detachment — and, having gained even more demonic support and power, coldly tells Satan that he’s been using him all along and only ever let him sleep with him out of convenience. Tomas witnesses this exchange and immediately hires Elin Nox to take Robert’s head. Elin, despite some difficulty (and not without recalling the last time Roby accidentally mixed up her magic and put her in a coma), carries out the hit as a professional assassin. (Roby, of course, cracks about a hundred jokes afterward — reminding everyone that Elin clearly hated his “services” so much that he’d gladly do the job for free, get her out from under Tomas’s thumb, and even “enhance Victor Ness’s manhood.”) Anyway — Roby ends up literally as a head in Satan’s hands, sobbing and apologizing, explaining that he was just terrified by Satan’s behavior.

Surrounded by a biopole field, Robert detonates a bomb planted on Alice by Constantine X — a trap meant to force Roby to renounce the clan. Afterward, desperate and starving, Roby begs Satan to kill some demon so he can feed… but specifically not taste Satan’s flesh. Sata tries and fails to find a high-ranking demon willing to die for this. In the end, Robert snaps at him — only stopping when Satan quietly says: “Enough. I don’t want to die. I just want to stay with you a little longer…”

The dumbest decapitation ever — and my absolute favorite scene in all of Purity: Roby turns 20. He drags Costya and Graz on a road trip, with Vincent driving and “ruining the vibe” by lecturing them about how drinking in the car is illegal. For some inexplicable reason, they’re headed to pick up Sadric Nox (I’m convinced this whole detour was just so Costya could see Leslie and start missing him). While Vincent talks to the homeowner, Robert — of course — steals the car and floors it back toward Malachite. Ignoring everyone screaming at him not to do it, Roby accelerates to 200 km/h, sticks his head out the window… and loses it instantly to a passing truck. Sadric barely manages to stop the car. Everyone, utterly shell-shocked, scrambles to find Robert’s head. Once they do, Roby calmly pops it back on and gets behind the wheel like nothing happened. Sadric: “WE ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!” Roby: “I almost died because of myself too — but that’s no reason to stop! Come on, guys! Just a tiny delay! Malachite’s waiting!”

Predictably, Sadric and even the usually composed Vaiolet lose it and start beating him up. Costya just stands aside, watching silently. Okay, fine — Roby breaks down again, drops to his knees crying under sad background music, and sincerely admits he messed up.