I had my first day of classes today, and I have already dropped two. LET ME TELL YOU WHY BECAUSE IT'S RIDICULOUS.
The first class I dropped was Themes In Literature And Culture with a focus in Science Fiction. Sounds cool, right? I picked it because I was thinking H.G. Wells, Lovecraft, maybe some Orwell, that kind of stuff. And also because the Tolkien/Rowling class was closed and I know no one is gonna drop that shit.
Well, I ordered the assigned book, which is called Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. This....is not the sci fi I was looking for. It's a cyberspace, virtual reality, mind control type of story, and it is the most horribly written piece of fucking idiocy that has ever been shat out. Let me give you an excerpt from page fucking one.
His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air. A bullet will bounce off its arachnofiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest. Where his body has bony extremities, the suit has sintered armorgel: feels like gritty jello, protects like a stack of telephone books.
Look at that. Look at this piece of drivel that someone has gotten paid to write. Who writes like this? Who publishes this? Ah, I have an answer: this guy. That's the author. Lord.
The teacher of this class is obviously a fan, and told us that he would be basing his class on the scientific method, rather than science fiction lit. You're familiar with the scientific method, I'm sure, from 8th grade Physical Science: hypothesis, experiment, conclusion (I'm paraphrasing). What a horrible way to teach an English class.
As I sat in the tiny, stuffy old room, I looked around at my classmates for a similar level of disbelief. Instead I saw two neckbeards (one with a fedora), and one odd looking man with a fluffy tail clipped to his belt.
I dropped that class like a hot Pop-Tart.
The other class was Scuba Diving, which sounds so awesome, and for 2 whole credit hours, but then they were like "Yes, it's a $25 class fee, $85 for the textbook/workbook kit, and $150 for all the gear that you need to buy for yourself and never use again." Fuuuuuck that.
And that was my first day of the semester, folks. Don't you love college.
