Lies of P characters as tea blends: Base Game Bosses edition
(I do not claim any of these to be drinkable, this is going off vibes)
Listed in order of appearance
Mad Donkey: Lapsang Souchong
Parade Master: Ceylon, apple pieces, cotton candy and caramel flavoring
Scrapped Watchman: White tea, blueberry and vanilla flavoring, marshmallows added
Puppet of the Future: Ceylon with a bit of molasses mixed in (should have metallic taste)
Survivor (Abel): White tea, bergamont, white cornflowers, blueberry flavoring
Fuoco: Chicory, hojicha, cocoa nibs, marshmallow flavoring
The Atoned: Kukicha (tea plant stems & twigs. taste way better than it sounds I swear)
Archbishop Andreus: White tea, lemon peel, yellow cornflowers, marigold flowers, milk & honey added
BRB Battle Maniac: Assam, cinnamon, clove, anise
BRB Eccentric: Assam, English Breakfast, shot of espresso, yellow cornflowers, lemon on side & iced
BRB Eldest: Assam, mate, chicory, cocoa nibs, splash of milk & spoonful of honey added
BRB Youngest: Assam, lemon grass, lemon peel, rose petals, sugar & honey added (overly sweet)
White Lady: Silver needle, rose hips
Mad Clown Puppet: Green rooibos, licorice, vanilla creme & caramel flavoring, sprinkles & marshmallows added (sickeningly sweet)
Romeo, King of Puppets: Hojicha (roasted tea)
Romeo b4 puppet time: Genmaicha (green tea w/ toasted rice)
Owl Doctor: Green tea, lemon peel, rose hips
Green Monster of the Swamp: Green rooibos, mint, lemongrass
Green Puppet-eating Monster*: Irish Breakfast, green rooibos, verbena peel (fancy orange), orange peel, lemon peel, grapefruit peel, turmeric, blueberry flavoring, over-brewed (this will taste acrid and acidic, if my tea knowledge is correct. turmeric for color)
Champion Victor: Green rooibos, passion flowers, lemonbalm, cocoa, ice & honey added
Robber Weasel: Mate with hazelnut flavoring
Corrupted Parade Master: Assam, lemongrass, blue raspberry flavoring
Walker of Illusions: Rooibos, chai (ginger, fennel, black pepper, aniseed), ice added
Black Cat: Green rooibos, licorice, apple pieces
Red Fox: Chicory, pu'erh tea, red currant, anise, apple pieces
Laxasia the Complete: White tea, darjeeling, blueberry, coconut, creme & almond flavor, sugarcubes added
Simon Manus: Darjeeling, golden lily, blue cornflowers
Nameless Puppet**: Assam, ceylon, rooibos, chicory, shot of espresso, grapefruit peel, lemongrass, blueberry and hazelnut flavoring, spoonful of molasses mixed in, iced and served wtih lemon
*Not meant to taste good, we're going for the tea equivalent of licking a battery. (please don't try it)
**Will it taste good? No, almost certainly not. This is about chaos, not flavor. Is it caffeinated? Yes.
