#roastedandtoasted

probably also cries when he’s getting yelled athe’s way out of Steph’s league she’s way to beautiful for this chicken winglooks like a corndog the fish he caught is probably his long lost siblingtiny handsgay for auston matthews needs his father matt martin to tie his shoes probably cries during sex

you all know I love him bu t he’s so roastable

he highkey looks like death slaps him every morninghis nose is so fucked up like why does it look like thatdabs like an asshole he could rival Anze in the contest of who looks the most deadhis haircut when he was in Michigan was fucking horrible it looked like a fluffy bowl

I can’t roast Patch because he’s perfect

oh course my friend

where are his teeth like why is his mouth almost all gums he’s super boring like I miss his funny tweets back when he was still in high school he’s dying scoobhe’s too young to be doing this extra shit like calm down child ur only 12probably smells like grass

looks like a fetus with facial hair

pretends hes not gay for gally but he totally is

acts like a child 99% of the time

lowkey a bit ugly when he was first drafted but now he’s highkey hot and it pisses me off

his legs are thicc but his arms aren’t and I’m offended personally looks like an oversized babyprobably acts like a babytorts probably orders the team doctor to wrap him in bubble wrap before every game because BOI DOES HE GET HURT A LOT