#roadtoenlightenment

okay, so I mentioned in my previous post that I am on the road to spiritual enlightenment and by that I initially meant I buy a lot of cool shit. I would always find myself searching for stuff like Tibetan Prayer flags, incense burners, and of course little mini Buddhas. I always thought that anything different from my small white town were the most beautiful things in the world. Especially those little buddhas.  

I think I found my interest in all things hippie and different when I was a Sophomore. That year I went through a pretty intense seasonal depression when the “sophomore slump”, as most teachers declare it, hit me. I felt worthless and poor. Actually all my life I had that looming feeling of being poor held over me. In my freshman year, I walked around the volunteer booths as every freshman is supposed to and I saw one for a Guatemalan Service trip. It looked amazing, a way to help other people and even more cool, a way to travel. I was so interested until I flipped that pamphlet over and saw the price. 

The looming feeling coming over me again with a big slap in the face saying, “you can’t do that, your poor remember? Where would your money come from?” I listened to my conscious and with remorse stepped away from the table. Yes, that little voice in my head turned me down but I knew that if I got a job I could in fact go on that trip next year. The summer going into my Sophomore year I got a job at Dribbles Ice Cream Shoppe. I worked as hard as any 15 year old could and I saved a lot of money, for a 15 year old. Now, going back to Sophomore year, I was pretty seasonally depressed... never going out, always tired and feeling worthless. Then, one day walking down the hall I saw it. The posters advertising the Guatemalan Service Trip. The second I saw those sheets on the wall I thought, “I’m gonna make that trip my bitch”... and I did. 

After that first service trip, I went on four more. 

- Tamahu, Guatemala ->  two times, (total= 2 wks.) to build houses for villagers

- San Jose, Costa Rica -> (2 wks.) to teach kids english

- Puebla, Mexico -> (1 wk.) to build a volunteer shelter

- McKee, Kentucky-> ( 1wk.) to build a house for a small family

From all those trips I saw a lot of different cultures and with those cultures came a lot of cool shit. I had blankets woven from Guatemalan natives, I had a tree painted with a beautiful bird from a local tico artist, and I even had a cool Mexican key chain with a stereotypical overweight man with a sombrero hat on it.  I have collected a lot of cool shit over the years but it brings me to this point in life. 

One of the rightful paths to take in college is, of course, to find yourself. Yes, I have bought a lot of things and I have seen a lot more but now when I look at those same Tibetan Prayer flags and little Buddhas I question if I am an imposter... do I really know what those represent? What those mean to the people who made them? 

I really don’t want to even have to ask myself these questions but the answers seem to all say “no”.  

I don’t know my shit on prayer flags or any other religion besides the catholic one... NO, don’t assume I am catholic because I am definitely not but I was forced to go to a catholic school for 8 years of my life so, yes, I was brainwashed (no offense) for quite some time by my parents beliefs. 

Since I am basically pretty ignorant in religion, my mission from here on out is this: 

EXPLORE EVERY TYPE OF RELIGION UNTIL I SEEMINGLY FIT INTO ONE.