#road 7

hi!! okay so first off: what inspired me to write this? (other than my enjoyment of hurt/comfort, ksv, and making things up) simple:

this picture!

it's the picture taken after 1-4. ik that a popular take is that edgeworth is looking at phoenix for the hidden nrmt and gratefulness in general. I absolutely understand it (I ship nrmt myself)! however, I am also primarily a Someone Who Makes Stuff Up

so when I looked at this photo again (and I was bound to, boredom leads to things), I realized something: edgeworth's eyes are cast downwards. that was the reminder of "hey, this is actually directly after a very dark time, lav! this is a man after his certainty being uprooted!" safe to say I ran with that so hard

that was strike one: the overanalysis of a smile

at the same time, I already had the mess of ideas in my notes app simply titled "ksv". it essentially summed up to "maybe it wouldn't have been logical but he should've had a good cry after that whole thing"

yes I added a plot-convenient earthquake because I was still trying to find my footing. I wholeheartedly admit that <2 HOWEVER!! more importantly, I was so passionate about the topic and scenario that I already dropped my oneliners in the ideas (and rambled so hard I switched languages). I was so sure of it too - the neutral look, the hidden pain, the final straw to unravel everything - the concept was THERE

that was strike two: the idea in actual words

but here's the thing: those two strikes above were from June. the fic was posted in September. what gives?

aside from the adjustment and schedule of a new school year, there was also the awareness that realistically, the whole idea could not have happened in canon. which wouldn't be too bad! but I didn't want to mess it up and accidentally create a shallow analysis, so it lingered only in my notes app

UNTIL I met an irl that was also interested in ace attorney! so ofc I showed the notes app thing, and she approved! at around the same time, classes were either suspended or online due to storms, so I had the chance to finally write

that was strike three: the sign of approval

and so it was: I was going to write the fic!

honestly? this is the peak of me doing whatever I want! I really did want to analyze the aftermath. like,, 1-3 had the "unease and uncertainty" line, so I wanted to reflect it stronger here.

and it's just- okay I'll try to put these to words, but my brain is going KAJSKAKSJSHS right now,,

I wanted to contrast it bc he's been haunted for years. exposing all that will not make it instantly fade. yes, he could feel lighter at that moment. yes, maybe it's cute to imagine that as the nrmt catalyst BUT CONSIDER: ksv breaking down (that's. That's the whole fic sorry not sorry chat)

actually yk what, tagalog time: paano kung binalot ka na ng kadiliman hanggang sa puntong iyon na lang ang alam mo? paano kung binigyan ka ng pag-asang makakita ulit ng liwanag? paano kung sinilaw ka na ng liwanag hanggang sa di mo na alam ang iyong gagawin?

kasi hindi ba iyon ang nangyari? hindi ba niya kinailangang maniwala, di lamang sa kaibigan niya, kundi sa sarili niya rin? hindi ba niya kinailangang tanggapin na di siya masamang taong di na maliligtas kailanman?

at di maitatanggi na maraming nangyari at nag-iba. kaya paano niya (referring to ksv) iyon matatanggap? oo, siguro kaya niyang kumilos na tila walang nangyari. pero kapag nasira na ang lupang tinatayuan niya, masisira rin ba siya?

kasi sa akin, oo. sa akin, di niya kayang magtago habambuhay. at lohikal rin itong isipin, dahil kung di niya makikita ngayon na maraming mali, kailan pa?

*sigh* I think ik why I got accepted into the fil opinion journ club of our school actually. whoops.

(I'll post translation at some point)