#rmc

Can I get 16+17 prompts from angst section with Dean Huijsen?

Thank u so much I hope u do more of these events (pls do a Halloween one)

Love yaaa

❀ God Knows I Tried - Dean Huijsen

dean huijsen x fem!reader

prompt/s: “i never expected to feel so alone after everything we shared.” + “you said you’d always be here, and yet here i am, trying to hold it together alone.”

a/n: love you tooo<3 that’s a good shout omg , i’ll 110% consider it ! thank you for this req aswell but apologies it’s a lil short

warnings: angstt

21 DAMNING, BLACK CROSSES. each mark lazier than the last; each mark a permanent etch on the paper that reminded you: 21 days.

that’s what the calendar says, anyway. but it feels like time just stilled the second he walked out the door. leaving his favourite mug on the counter, leaving his jackets crowned up on the rack, leaving everything but his shoes behind.

no goodbye. no nothing.

the nostalgia echos in your head, just how it speaks volumes of the now empty apartment. only you stand, but you feel like a mere ghost.

your eyes dart around the darkness, yet it doesn’t feel like you belong. it feels foreign, much like a buried artefact that was never meant to be discovered.

his maroon ‘n black duffel bag sits untouched near the leg of the couch, reminding for how some days you pretend he’s just at training. you imagine the way he used to toss his jacket onto the floor, always missing the hook and how you almost miss yelling at him for it.

the phone you’ve never peeled away from, sits content in your palm like it doesn’t want to leave either—like it wants you to sit in the hurt that’s still contained within.

the screen illuminates the void in your lounge, the shade behind your eyes that made you feel like everything around you were a dream.

your thumb is sore from the endless scrolling. the same, jubilant pictures. the same ‘missing you,’ texts; you can’t stop yourself from rereading old ones, some that make your lips twitch into a faint smile—others that make you stare blankly.

you shouldn’t have sent that last one that went through. “can we talk?”

left on seen. no reply.

your throat tightens, again, as its become a reactionary habit everytime you click onto his contact that still held a picture of you two.

click—the mobile rings, then greets you with a static beep, and suddenly the words tumble out of you like blood from a wound you tried to forget was still open.

“dean, i don’t know if you listen to these, or it just piles up in your spam, but i never expected to feel so alone after everything we shared,” you whisper, tone thick with emotion. “there’s never a day that goes by where i don’t replay the nights we’d sit up talking until the sun came through the blinds.”

you pause. swallow. there’s a shake in your breath that you have no control over.

“you always said i overthought everything, but you still let me ramble. you made space for all the noise in my head and now..”

your chest aches, like it’s trying to fold in on itself, as if grief has limbs and it’s squeezing your ribs until they shatter. you sit on the floor, knees pulled to your chest. tears threaten again, but you’re too tired to cry.

“now.. i realise you sold me a lie when you told me you’d always be here,” you murmur, pressing a hand over your mouth. “and yet here i am, trying to hold it together, alone.”

that feeling when your cheeks ache from holding tears captive, burns at your skin as your throat coils with a loneliness so deafening, it drowns out every other thought you try to have.

you sound like a beg. but you are begging.

“just answer this one. dean. please just answer this one.”

the static from the empty line doesn’t answer you, it mocks you instead. your phone frees as you have no composure to force it to stay, allowing it to fall from your ear, somewhere down onto the carpet.

“don’t let this be the end.”

you whisper it like a prayer, not knowing who you’re asking anymore—him, the silence, or the empty space where he used to be. your voice breaks anyway, even if no one’s listening.

if there’s one thing worse than missing someone, it’s realising that they don’t miss you back.

god knows, i tried.

“ Sheesh… I mean reaaallly. Oh well~ glad to be included! “

Hello all! Sorry for the long inactivity but, meet Rei! A new member into the Reversed Multiverse Fanfic on A03 by @werecat1234 ! It’s an honor to be included in their story and I hope you all enjoy this stilly evil gremlin as much as I do!

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