#rkobon

jinseok’s and hyun’s birthdays pass in the midst of training too heavy to celebrate properly, but jinwook insists on making up for lost time. it’s been ages since jinwook’s even seen jinseok in person — and honestly, knowing that they were both back in jeju at the same time had kept jinseok close to heart for the whole trip. all three of them could use a night off to catch up with each other outside of work contexts.

jinwook gets the group together for dinner on their next free weekend. they can secure a private area on the short notice, between manager’s contacts and jinseok’s. perks of having small-time celebrity parents, supposes jinwook, though he’ll never truly understand what that life is like, no matter how many reality television series he consumes, or... pause. maybe convex could be small-time celebrities themselves, someday. fancy being recognized by their server in this very location — gunhee exits the booth to put in their orders, and jinwook tries to keep the wistfulness out of his expression as he watches him go.

he shifts gears to face jinseok. “i saw all your brother’s posts from christmas! the engagement!!” his eyes curve with a bubbly smile, as jinwook unlocks his phone screen, moving to pull up the twins’ instagram account. “this must be so exciting, ugh. how are you holding up over there? you still have your hands full with your niece too, right?” 

@rkobon

swallowing hard, baekhyun continues to stare at the closed door in front of him. unable to knock, unable to push himself to actually enter the room ahead even after standing here for almost ten minutes because he’s scared. he’s afraid of what will happen once he enters, that he won’t be able to fix whatever’s been going on between him and jinseok since their fight;

but baekhyun wants to so bad. he wants to fix it, for the other to finally stop avoiding him.

even when he’s still thinking about backing out, the thought not leaving him alone. so close to just turning around and getting away and hurrying back into the safety of his own hotel room to wallow like the coward he is -- the reason they got into this mess in the first place, baekhyun being a fucking coward. a text message stops him, though, the vibration of his phone in his hand pulling him back. it’s seonho telling him that he’s getting back soon so they can have dinner together and it’s the push baekhyun needs. it’s the push he needs to step forward and open the door without knocking, without allowing himself any hesitation because, otherwise, baekhyun won’t get this opportunity again.

●  [  ACCIDENTALLY SENT  ]   🍆

♡ ┋ @rkobon!

having only been back in korea for around a week, rose is quick to miss the feeling of the sun kissing her skin and the fresh air back home in australia. but she’s glad that korea is leaving the brittle winter behind, they’re moving into spring and soon enough the cherry blossoms will be out in full force, blanketing the streets in pink petals. rose truly loves the spring, it can’t come quick enough in her eyes. she would miss home for as long as she was here in korea, but coming back after being away for a week had it’s perks. it gives rose chance to realise what she misses.

it’s a saturday night and rose is wandering the streets, weighed down by her training bag and her bass guitar, which swamps her. she shuffles down the street, hands tucked in the front pocket of her hoodie. her blonde hair is piled up on top of her head. she knows she looks like a right old mess but no one’s going to see her, not while she’s on a late night escapade to the local corner store near seocho. she heads on in, grabbing herself ramyeon and a kimbap triangle. probably not the best idea but rose had been hard at work for a week straight. a little cheat night wouldn’t hurt her. after paying for her food and prepping her ramyeon, she drags herself outside and sits down out front, sighing with relief at the down time.

she falters, her bravado failing because now she’s faced with the questions that tugs away at her pain - questions she has no plausible answers to. these are things she has buried away from everyone else because she has no idea how to make her way around if even if she tries. it is frustrating but what else can she do? “i have already asked you before, what do you want me to do?” she speaks, response barely above a whisper because she doesn’t have the strength anymore. “i cannot quit now, cannot leave as i’m too far into this. jinseok, this is my only hope in becoming an actress. there is nothing else out there for me and i am not optimistic enough to continue believing that there is any other way.” she shakes her head, breathing in heavily before she continues. “i was a foolish nineteen year old when everything fell apart between us. i allowed for my mind to carry over what my heart feels and i gave you up and i’m claiming that mistake. everything that i have said to you that day was wrong but i was too clouded by my aspirations to see it then. i thought then that i had to choose, believed it fiercely and acted upon it and only now i’m learning that i do not have to. that i can make things work both ways if only i had the right person for it. my biggest mistake was perhaps thinking that you weren’t it. there are no excuses for my actions but i’m learning, i really am. i am so sorry that i couldn’t ever make it up to you.” 

it is a long tirade but she continues. “i’m acting as if you don’t exist not because i want to but because i’m afraid of how we will blow up on each other if i do. we’re colleagues in a precarious environment and i do not want to make things more terrible for you than it already is. ignoring each other is our safest avenue but believe me if we could talk, be civil, i would want for nothing more than that.” she swallows. “i did not deserve you then, i sure as hell do not deserve you now. i cannot tell you how to forgive me because i don’t want to force anything on you. but please know that if there is anything in my life that i regret, it’s the fact that i caused you so much hurt and pain that it follows us even to this day.”