#rkceline

one would think that there’d be nothing to be nervous about appearing on a radio show. that the viewers couldn’t really see you so there wasn’t really that much pressure but jihyun feels it. sees it in the cameras panned every which way in the room, focused on her, seolhyun, seoyoung and park heejae sunbaenim. if she had though that a radio show wouldn’t be nerve-wracking -- jihyun was sorely mistaken.

it didn’t help that she was still trying to rise about the devastations this month has brought them; with hit after hit, she was slowly losing her resolve -- the hope that they’d get through this chipping away at her self-control, the facade of the strong and collected leader that had everything and everyone in capable hands. all it took was for one of them -- sadly it was dawon -- to leave for the well crafted dynamic to crumble, ugh.

she tries to set it to the opposite side of her current thoughts, going over the lessons that had been repeatedly drilled into her head -- of the millions of workshops they’ve been forced into in the past. of the interviews they held during royal survival, the mgas, and even that impromptu radio call when she had first became a trainee -- her first taste of radio waves. it was weird, yes but nothing that jihyun didn’t think she could handle.

at least --- she thought she could before her nerves were shaken, torn apart and thrown away for the wolves to ravage.

her hands shake a little, enough that she’s slipping them off the tabletop and into her lap, fingers fiddling with the necklace wrapped thrice around her wrist, her little good luck charm. once more seeking solace in the way the gold moon digs into her skin as she rolls the trinket along her fingertips. 

it’s weird to see them so separated like this, among the three of them -- it feels empty. dabin and jiwon had different schedules; and as jihyun sits there beside seoyoung, she tries to look her happiest. filling in the gaps of silence with her laughter and her own interests during the break. trying to keep a steady rhythm of professionalism and friendliness to the host as well as her members, trying to be there despite the more professional pretenses that are tacked onto her words. 

                             so … your mini album is called luv game.                                      let’s talk about love, shall we ❓

but they go through the motions, of prepared questions that have been approved by their team and the radio’s own staff -- of inquiries that are almost redundant as they’re to be expected at this point in time. almost everyone hears these questions at least once in their career. 

                                         what is your ideal type ❓

jihyun isn’t even surprised anymore as she replaces an amused smile for one of feigned thought, surprise masked in her dark eyes -- remaining quiet as she thinks, feeling the practiced blush brush against the skin of her cheek as the host quizzes them. a ‘hm’ tides her over for the meantime, as she thinks. 

“an ideal type? i don’t think anyone can beat yours – someone who’s kind is definitely nice but …” she knows the practical answer, the answer that’s been approved time and time again -- the one everyone expects of them. an answer that’s so traditional and conservative jihyun is practically choking trying to get it out, so she choose otherwise, opting for a better -- less practical, less limiting, in a way. 

“i don’t know, i really like someone who looks good in a leather jacket,” she pauses, for effect; sharing a look with seolhyun before turning to the host, “with a nice jawline, a person who’s confident in themselves and their desires!” it’s not the most out there but it’s vague enough that it could be anybody, at this point and that’s all jihyun wants it to be – vague.

                          if you were a boy, who in luxe would you date ❓

she disregards the way the question is formed -- how anyone of them had to be a boy in order to date any of them didn’t seem right with her. it’s a mutual thought among the three, especially with how seolhyun answers and jihyun has to stop herself from snickering; hiding the laughter behind a hand and an amused smile. “i agree, if anything -- i think it’s quite appropriate that anyone should be able to date anyone, regardless of gender.” it’s forward thinking that she thinks should be expected of girls who’ve been nurtured by a company that had no qualms with expressing something that seemed outside of the conservative mindset. and with a good percentage of the girls in luxe being pretty ambiguous in their pursuits of interest, and there was nothing wrong with that, it’s why she refrains from the first sentence, framing her thought in a different context that’s subtle in nature but more to the point than it should be. “but -- if i had to date any of the girls -- i think it’d be celine, she’s so energetic and feisty. i think she’d be really fun to date.”

                                       what’s an ideal date for you ❓

“personally, since we just debuted, i don’t think there’s anything more important to us than for us to concentrate on working hard and showing a better us for our fans.” she’s speaking truthfully, genuinely in a way that the words are from her heart -- she does think she they don’t have time to date and if jihyun hadn’t been in a relationship prior to debuting, she thinks it wouldn’t be impossible to cultivate a relationship when there was barely enough time for her to sanely get enough sleep. but, she realizes that she’s lucky enough that there are some exceptions to the truths she shares with the world. her own little truth in the form of a to-be-romeo. “it doesn’t leave us much time to date, so i don’t think it’s possible right now. but if i could pick, i’ve always loved the beach. the beach would be my go-to ideal date spot. even better if it’s at night so we could see the night sky and hear the waves crash, i think it’d be so relaxing.”

halfway through, her hands finally rise from their hiding spot beneath the table. the tremble along her fingertips finally ceasing enough that jihyun could proudly show off the calm that took over them. as most of the questions have begun to lighten and the breaks eased the time to a close. when it all ends, she’s fairly surprised that it’s over. somewhat relieved, somewhat disheartened. far too submerged in her thoughts to have realized that time had ultimately flown by. 

                                                  any last words ❓

           ❛  thank you so much for inviting us park heejae sunbaenim, as rookies, it really was an honor. as our promotions come to a close, we hope that you continue to look over us and please stream luv game because today won’t come again, so feel good with me right now, baby.  ❜

she pauses, her words carefully crafted to flow into a verse of the song before she looks to her group mates with a soft smile, “we’ll work harder to show you an even better, a greater luxe! this has been luxe, thank you!”