#ritas550

You couldn’t believe the sight before you. Sam had Dean cradled in his arms crying. Dean laid motionless in his brother’s hands beaten and bloody. His face was covered in blood, dripping from his mouth and nose. You looked to Sam and he just shook his head while his hands cradled Dean’s head. You fell to your knees shaking your head as the tears stared to roll down your cheeks. You couldn’t breathe. But, you knew you had to quickly recompose yourself so you took a deep breath and walked over to Sam knowing he was going to need your help.

“Sam we need to get him out of here,” you said.

Sam nodded his head with his cheeks soaked with tears and replied, “Yeah,” as he scooped up his big brother in his arms and proceeded to the Impala.

The ride back to the bunker was one of complete silence aside from the occasional sob from you or Sam. You would look in the rear view every so often to glance at the lifeless body of the man you loved. You couldn’t bear to see the man you loved with blood all over his body and laying so motionless so you just stared out the passenger side window into the night sky reminiscing and plotting some form of revenge on Metatron.

---- It was your second date and Dean had the whole night planned down to the last detail. He wanted the night to be romantic and special for you. He wanted you to have a normal date like every other couple who weren’t hunters had. He wanted you to feel loved and normal and special all at the same time. So, he made reservations at the fancy Italian restaurant just a mile away because he knew how much you loved Italian (I mean who doesn’t? Am I right?) He told you to wear something nice and he would wear his nicest clothes. You wore a simple black lace dress that had one long sleeve down the right arm and sleeveless on the left and it hugged your body to highlight your curves. You paired it with a pair of black spiked heels, to pull your personality in it a bit, and a black clutch. When Dean saw you his jaw nearly hit the floor. His eyes seemed to get glossy and he walked up to you and gave you a squeeze telling you how god damned gorgeous you looked. He on the other hand shocked you. He was in a white button up and a black suit and dress pants. Completely unlike Dean but so damn sexy. So, you replied to him ditto. He gave you the flowers he had gotten and took your arm in his.

Y’all went to the restaurant and had the best dinner of your lives and Dean was a gentleman the whole time, but also had that sense of humor that made you laugh nonstop. After the restaurant, he drove you down to the beach so you could walk along the shore and just be comfortable in each other’s company. Halfway down the beach you had your heels in your hands and began to shiver at the cool ocean breeze. Dean took notice and slipped out of his suit jacket and draped it over your shoulders. You spent an hour at the beach before you headed back to the bunker.

Once back, he grabbed you and kissed you passionately. His lips moved in synch with yours, even nibbled on your bottom lip. He slid his tongue in and you didn’t hesitate to let him in and melt into his touch. He grabbed your thighs and lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you back to his room where you would have the most sensual, passionate, and best sex of your life.

This was the best date you had ever been on. Dean Winchester was the love of your life. After that night, there was no questioning that. ----

Once you reached the bunker Sam carefully slid Dean’s broken body out of the Impala and brought him into his Dean’s room. He gently laid him on the neatly made bed while a tear escaped his eye and raced down his cheek. You on the other hand had had enough of the day and ran into your room and closed yourself off from the world finally letting grief and sadness take over.

I thought that I've been hurt before But no one's ever left me quite this sore Your words cut deeper than a knife Now I need someone to breathe me back to life

That was a month ago. Now here you were beaten, bloody, and broken. You were covered in bruises from head to toe. Your wrist was swollen and purple and hurt like a bitch meaning it was most likely broken from your last beating. Your hair was matted down to your head with dried blood. You had dried blood sticking to your face that came from your mouth and nose. Your ribs were throbbing and you were pretty sure that you dislocated your knee. On top of all that, you had a pain in your head that felt like someone stabbed you and was sitting there wiggling the knife. With all the hunts that you had been on you’d figured that you had been hurt in every way possible by now. Boy, were you wrong. No one has ever left you this beaten and sore. You didn’t think he had it in him to do this to you. HIM. Of all people in the world he was the last person you thought would be capable of this type of violence towards you.

However, the beatings weren’t even the worst part. That you could handle. You had handled those situations pretty much your whole life being raised a hunter. It had been the venomous words that escaped his mouth that had cut you deeper than a knife.

“You stupid bitch.”

“What did I ever see in you?”

“You know you are only good as a punching bag.”

“Nobody will ever love you. Not with the way you follow like a lost puppy.”

Those were his words that would float through your mind. Those were the words that took the life right out of you. The very pink plump lips that would breathe the life into you. Dean’s lips. The love of your life that once doted over you now stood tall and told you you were worthless.

Got a feeling that I'm going under But I know that I'll make it out alive If I quit calling you my lover Move on

You knew your body couldn’t take much more of what Dean was throwing at you. You had aches and pains on every single part of your body. It physically hurt you to take a breath. You knew you wouldn’t survive another beating like the one given to you yesterday and you knew he was only going to escalate. You knew your mind couldn’t handle another emotional lashing either. He already had you feeling worthless, like a piece of trash. If he continued there would be nothing left of (Y/N). You would be just a shell of a person. You were struggling to hold on to the little bit of you that you had left as it was.

With all the blood, it almost felt like you were drowning in it. You couldn’t get out of it. You couldn’t get away from it. It felt like it was suffocating you. It felt like HE was suffocating you.

You then realized that there was no fixing Dean. You couldn’t do it. You were not strong enough. He had taken the life out of you. If Dean could be saved you weren’t going to be the one doing it. He was slowly killing you. The only way you would make it out of this alive was to let him go. It killed you to say that but you had to let him go and find a way to contact Sam and find a way out. A way to get away from the only man you have ever loved.

You watch me bleed until I can't breathe I'm shaking falling onto my knees And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches I'm tripping over myself I'm aching begging you to come help And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches

One punch. Two punches. A kick and then another punch. You picked yourself off the ground to look Dean in the eyes only to see them flash black. You had been with Dean for two weeks now and this was becoming a routine. He wanted to beat the life out of you. He punched you again effectively dropping you to the ground and he proceeded to kick you in the chest. He stood there and watched you pull yourself up bleeding and gasping for air from the previous kick.

That was the moment you knew Dean wasn’t Dean, at least not anymore as you fell to your knees shaking. Pain and realization took over your entire body at that moment. Instead of getting kisses from Dean you would be getting stitches.

Despite him not being him anymore you hoped that there was one shred of humanity left in this person. Through your aches and pains, you stared into Dean’s eyes grasping at the hope you could see something and begged him to stop with the beatings. You begged for him to help you and not hurt you. But all he did was smile and chuckle at you. That was when you knew you were trouble.

Just like a moth drawn to a flame Oh you lured me in I couldn't sense the pain Your bitter heart cold to the touch Now I'm gonna reap what I sew I'm left seeing red on my own

You woke up the next morning to soft knocks on your door. You sat up in your bed and smoothed out your hair.

“Come in,” you said, your voice hoarse from all the crying the night before.

“Hey, (Y/N). How are you doing?” Sam asked.

You smiled at him appreciating the compassion as you can tell he was a wreck himself. “I’m sad, Sammy, but I’m alive so that counts for something.” He smiled and let out a chuckle and looked at you with sadness. “How are you doing Sammy? Honestly,” you asked.

“Not great to be completely honest. I already miss him (Y/N). I know you do too. He was the love of your love, but he was my big brother and all I had left, besides you. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him,” he replied.

You looked at him with glossy eyes and pulled him in for a tight hug and squeezed him. You wanted to give him every ounce of love you could because he was right, you did love Dean, but Dean was Sam’s only family and now he had lost that like everyone else in his life. “It’s going to be fine Sammy. I’ll be here for you and you’ll be here for me. We’ll be each other’s rock. We will get each other through this with all the love we can spare,” you said and Sam squeezed you tighter hanging on every word you said.

Once you let go of each other you decided it was best to prepare Dean’s body for the pyre. So, you both got dressed and went to Dean’s room. What you found, or better yet what you didn’t find shocked you both. Dean, or rather his body, was gone. “What the hell?” you both said in unison not having a clue of what’s going on.

Over the next two days you and Sam had been looking for any sign of Dean anywhere. Searching traffic cams, security cameras, even atm cameras and you both were coming up empty handed. After going hours without a break Sam suggested a food break and you agreed so he ran to the market to get you both some grub.

A few minutes after Sam left your phone rang and the name that popped up shocked you. Dean. So, naturally you answered.

“Hello? Dean? Is that you?” you asked.

“(Y/N), yeah it’s me. Look I know you may have a lot of questions but I don’t have a lot of time so can you meet me at that beach where we had our second date so we can talk?” Dean said.

“Uhh……. yeah sure. When?”

“Now. If you could?”

“Sure see you in a few.”

You hung up the phone and quickly scribbled a note for Sam saying you went to check a lead and would call him if it checked out and ran out the door.

You were standing on the beach waiting for Dean when you turned around and saw him approaching. You smiled and almost ran up to him until you realized that Crowley was with him. You were confused since you guys were supposed to hate him.

“Hey Dean. What’s with the demon tail?” you asked.

“That’s what I’m here to tell you. Obviously, I didn’t die but I became something else,” Dean said as his eyes flicked black and then back to normal again. “I’m a knight of hell now.”

To say were shocked was an understatement. You backed up a little bit and said “Like Abaddon?”

“Yeah. Something to do with the mark. It won’t let me die.”

At that statement, all you could see was red and realized that Crowley had to have known about this and tricked Dean so you lashed out at him. An action you would soon later come to regret as you felt something hard hit your head and then black.

When you woke up you were in a dungeon of some sort and your hands were chained to the wall. You realized Dean was the one who knocked you out and that he needed to be saved.

Got a feeling that I'm going under But I know that I'll make it out alive If I quit calling you my lover Move on

You stood with your hands still chained to the wall and checked to see the coast was clear. Every day you had been clawing at the wall to loosen the foundation around the shackles and today you could yank them out of the wall. You carefully and silently ran out the door and through whatever warehouse you were in without anyone noticing you and escaped. However, before you got completely out you noticed a phone on one of the work tables and snatched it and ran out the door.

You ran a few blocks before deciding it was safe to take a break and make a phone call. THE phone call that was supposed to made a month ago. You had to call Sam. You dialed his number and pushed call as you released a breath and leaned against the alley wall.

“Hello?” Sam said.

“Sammy, it’s me (Y/N). I need your help,” you said.

“Yeah anything (Y/N). Where have you been? It’s been like a month. You said you would call and then radio silence. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m glad you called, but what the hell?”

“I know Sammy. I’m sorry. A lot has happened and I will tell you all of it but not right now. I just…. I just really need you to come get me.”

With that last sentence, your voice cracked and it almost seemed like a sob, which concerned Sam. This gave him a bad feeling. “I’ll be right there (Y/N). I’m tracking the phone you are on right now. I’ll be there shortly just hang to for me ok?”

“Ok Sammy. See you soon.”  

Needle and the thread Gotta get you out of my head Needle and the thread Gonna wind up dead

Sam came and got you like he promised but when he saw the state you were in, it shook him to his core. Now you were both back at the bunker and Sam made you sit down and drink some water while he fetched every medical supply he could find. Once back he cleaned the blood from your face and arms. He bandaged the ligatures on your wrists that came from the shackles and put a splint on your broken wrist and explained you’d have to see a doctor later. He tended to the small cuts on your abdomen being very weary of all the bruises. When you would hiss, he would give you those puppy dog eyes saying sorry. He them gave you a rag to bite down on while he put your knee back in place. Lastly, he led you to the sink and rinsed all the blood out of your hair to ensure there was nothing currently bleeding on your head. Throughout all this he couldn’t help but wonder what did this. Whatever or whoever did, he was for sure going to kill. You didn’t deserve this.

“Hey Sam?” you said.

“Yeah (Y/N)?” Sam said.

“I want to tell you what happened, but I’m afraid you won’t believe me. Hell, I was there and I still don’t believe it.”

“(Y/N), sweetie you can tell me anything and I’ll believe you. You haven’t lied to me before. I trust you.”

“Dean’s a demon, well more like a knight of hell to be exact,” you blurted out ripping off the metaphorical band-aid.

“I know. I mean the demon part not the knight of hell part. But that does make sense.”

“You know?”

“Yeah. Right after you left I found footage of him at a convenience store killing people and then boom black eyes.”

“Well, he was my lead. He called me to ask to meet up at the beach we had our second date on and I went. Only he wasn’t alone, Crowley was with him, and he didn’t want to talk.”

“What are you saying?”

Here it goes. You were going to tell Sammy and either destroy him or lose him because why would Dean ever do this to you. Either way he was going to be pissed at what you for what you are about to say.

“Dean knocked me out, locked me in a dungeon, and then he and Crowley took turns torturing me for the last month,” you said as quick as possible as the tears started to flow and you started to shake with sobs.

Sam grabbed you and squeezed you in a tight hug while you cried into his chest. “I’m so sorry (Y/N). I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to find you. I’m just so sorry.”

This was not the reaction you expected, but it was the one you were hoping for because in all honesty with Dean gone he was all you had left and losing him would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. “It’s ok Sam. Really. I mean do I hurt like hell, yeah. Does it suck that it was the love of my life that did this to me? Hell, yeah. But I’m alive that’s all that matters and I certainly don’t blame you because for all you knew I was hunting down a lead.”

“I still feel bad.”

“Don’t because what I’m about to tell you might make you hate me but I have to say it.”

“Ok….”

“I know you want to look for Dean. I know you want to find, help him and cure him, but Sammy I can’t. I love him and I always will, you know that. I just have to let him go because that’s not him, not anymore. If I don’t get him out of my head Sammy, I’ll end up dead because even though the beatings were brutal they were nothing compared to the verbal lashings I got daily, multiple times a day.”

Sam just looked at you with sad eyes, tears forming but not quite tipping over his eyelids. This was sympathy. You knew Sam. He wasn’t upset with you for saying that. He was upset that thing got so bad for you that you have to feel this way. He knew he needed to protect you but he knew he also had to save his brother.

“I’m sorry you had to endure that. And I’m not mad at all. With what he put you through I completely understand, but here’s the thing I have to save him (Y/N). And there’s no way in hell I’m letting you out of my sight. It’s my job to protect you now more than ever. So, what if you don’t look for him and just let him go and I’ll do it. On my own time and I won’t even bring it up? Does that sound like something you could do?”

“Yeah Sammy, I think so.”