#ripcheryl

#inremembrance #riptroy #ripterron #ripcheryl #ripjimmy #FOE #cousinsquad (at Washington D.C.) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5DKuAQBbL1/?igshid=1sixht1w4lq0s

am I selfish for thanking god that I wasn't the one who died? every day I replay that night out in my head and all the different situations we could have been in. what if it was just me and Cheryl? would I have known what to do? what if she decided to go for a walk and she never showed back up. would we have done the same thing? what if we crashed any of the other times we got high? what if drew didn't go to Mexico would we still of done it? what if she didn't take the extra pills she wasn't suppose to take? what if I took the extra pills that night? what if it was me would I have survived? was it only because Cheryl took such bad care of herself that she didn't push through. was there anything more I could have done to save her life? what if someone else close to me dies what will I do with myself. I couldn't see myself being okay. what if what if what if what if hoping for the best. love and miss you Cheryl.

a lot of times I think about the times we got high together. it makes me feel so shitty cause now your gone and we were just so dumb. it was all so not worth losing you. or who I think you are. after finding out what you did behind all our backs I don't even feel like I knew you at all. I still love you and just know that even though your already gone I'm still here for you no matter what.

:(

rest in peace you crazy motherfucker.