📰 BUZZROME EXCLUSIVE: "Calpurnia Predicts Doom, Caesar Says 'Nah.'"
📅 Posted: March 15th
🚨 BREAKING: Sources inside the Caesar household confirm that Calpurnia had a full-on meltdown last night, claiming she saw ghosts, a lion giving birth, and blood raining from the sky.😂😂🫃🏼
Caesar’s response? “Whatever, babe.” 🤦♂️
When asked about her visions, Calpurnia reportedly cried, “DO NOT GO TO THE SENATE.” Okay d1 crashout ! ☠️ But, in the most on-brand Caesar move ever, he allegedly said: “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.”
(aka. Fear is for the weak. I’m built different.)
👀 Should we start planning a memorial service now? Or will Caesar prove he’s too powerful to die?
Yours truly, The Forum Feed Staff
Comments: @ t3abruh Imagine trying to save your man’s life with some LITERAL psychic goddess intuition and he’s like ‘meh, the boys need me.’ 💩 Like girl, this doesn't just randomly happen.. 😭😭 Girl I would’ve hexed the entire senate if I could.
@ R0manf!3n Calpurnia tried to be the wellness coach, the voice of reason, the whole ‘divine feminine’ (QUEEN behavior tbh) and Caesar was like ‘no thanks I crave death today.’ 🙄
