#ripandre

My Brother was murdered Monday morning, and I must say that my life will be forever changed. I've never felt a pain cut this deep before in my life. I've been trying to find the right combination of words to put together to describe how I feel. But I cannot. I just wish that this world wasn't so cruel and people weren't so selfish. I wish that we cared about each other as we would have others care about us. I've been really trying my hardest to hold it together but it's easier said than done. I almost feel like this that I am going through isn't true, it's not real. With funeral arrangements being made and my having the belongings from his pockets made this that much more real for me. Seeing my family break down makes it that much more real. I have been leaning on God to hold my family together, to be the rock that we need. If I could speak to my Brother again, I would give anything in this world to do that. If I could tell him how much I love him, I would. If I could kiss him once more, I would. If I could be writing a 1000 page paper for school instead of my last words to him in his obituary, I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO DO THAT. If I could be laughing with him instead of crying without him, I would give anything. My heart is so heavy.