#rip jagger

When my boyfriend Hakeem and I got to the venue, we spent a few minutes scoping out the celebrity guest booths. It was Freddie’s second day there and Nhut’s third, and while the line of people waiting to see Freddie was still pretty sizeable, nobody was in line for poor Nhut. Hakeem and I headed to the main panel room about 15 minutes early and there were already a good amount of people lined up. We were able to get seats quite close to the stage, and any time I happened to make eye contact with Nhut or Freddie, I felt weird and embarrassed. I’m not good at eye contact, not even with my own boyfriend.

There wasn’t a ton of new info from Freddie. It was a lot of what we’d heard in interviews before, but Nhut was able to tell us more about his experiences on set. The pair had such good chemistry. They made each other (and us) laugh a lot. Freddie said he loved Nhut in real life despite their characters’ rivalry and Nhut’s response was, “He’s obsessed with me.”

At the end, they had us all gather around the stage, and— I can’t remember who took the picture, but the moderater and the boys took a selfie with the crowd. Unfortunately, they said it’d take a week or two to be edited and published.

Right after the panel was the Peacemaker duo photo op. And oh my god?? I can’t be surprised there was a long line of young women waiting to take pictures with just Freddie. There were only maybe five of us there for both boys. That shit moved by so fast and before I had time to prepare myself, it was my turn to go into the photo booth. God, I was so nervous. I think I said hi to them on the way in, took my place between them, and Freddie put his fucking hand on my back. I think he was expecting me to take a normal photo.

I told them I was uncomfortable on camera so I’d prefer to do something silly. I’d had a reference photo in mind but I wasn’t sure if they could do it, and Freddie said, “That’s alright, we’ve got time.”

“It’s kind of weird,” I said.

From outside the booth, Hakeem said he could hear Freddie ask, “How weird?” followed by him and Nhut laughing when I showed them the Willem Dafoe/Kevin James photo. (Also irrelevant, but Freddie’s worked with Kevin James before on “The Crew.”)

I asked Nhut if he could be half-split Willem Dafoe in the middle (He was probably the only one flexible enough) and I volunteered myself to be Kevin James. That left Freddie to be other Willem Dafoe. They absolutely killed their poses while I got mine completely wrong because I was shaking like a chihuahua. Nhut said he had to see the picture now and we all laughed when the photographer showed us. I thanked them, and Nhut said he’d be posing like that in all of his photos from now on.

The whole interaction was maybe two minutes max, but it still seemed that the boys gave me more of their time than they gave anyone else. I was just so proud of myself for making them laugh.

Later on, I’d see this in Nhut’s tagged photos on Instagram. I didn’t even know anyone was on that side of me.

I still had some cash left over, so about an hour after the photo op, I spent far too long agonizing over whether or not to get a selfie with one of them. I had enough for one, not both, so my choices were:

1. Choose Freddie, whose line was full of young women again

2. Choose Nhut, whose line was empty again

3. Choose to leave

Eventually, Nhut joined Freddie behind his table. We saw a group of people take a selfie with them both, then Nhut grabbed his backpack. I had a “fuck it” moment and approached him, and my boyfriend said Freddie was watching me like he thought I was coming to talk to HIM. I asked Nhut if he was leaving and he said yes. It turned out that group of people was staff.

I don’t remember what led to it, but he asked me if I saw the photo he and Freddie took immediately after I left. I said no, and he pulled that masterpiece out of his bag. I was taking a picture of it when Freddie came up to us and said, “I’ve got one of those too.”

I can’t believe myself, but in faux anger, I went, “I heard you guys took this right after me?”

Freddie said yes.

“And I wasn’t in it?”

Freddie said, “Yeah, sorry. But it was inspired by you!”

I rolled my eyes and pointed at my print. “This one’s not as good.”

“No, it’s great!”

“Well,” I said, “No, I’m in it.”

That’s when Freddie said he’d be sending it in the 11th Street Kids group chat and that yes, they really DO have an 11th Street Kids group chat. I can’t remember how the rest of the conversation went, but I didn’t want to bother them any longer and they packed up to leave. I thanked for their time and I— almost accidentally— told Nhut he was my favorite. He IS one of my favorites. But I’d said that in front of Freddie who is ALSO one of my favorites.

I think I may have accidentally led Freddie to believe I was disinterested in him. I never spoke to him directly unless he spoke to me first, and I don’t know that I ever even made eye contact during that last conversation. I don't think I ever addressed him by name either (I did with Nhut). I was scared of him. In all fairness, he’d had plenty of women fawn over him that day and, in my opinion, be kind of weird about it. He is a man we don't know with a wife of ten years, and asking him to hold your hand or hug you around the waist from behind seems inappropriate. I felt odd enough about the very visible Vigilante keychain on my purse.

Nhut, on the other hand— I might be delusional, but I think he liked me LOL. He’d been very kind and attentive whereas a couple friends had told me he was nowhere near as friendly as Freddie. That wasn’t my experience at all. He also liked and commented on my photo op photo on Instagram later on, which could mean nothing, but I noticed he rarely likes photos he’s tagged in and doesn’t seem to comment at all.