#rip death

not this again. (5x18) skipping self destructive and going straight to suicidal.

i really enjoy julian richings as Death, and he and jackles play off each other really well. but this trying to make a deal with him, some new made up bullshit about how *dun dun DUN* if no one has the Mark some unspeakable evil dark miasma will destroy everything, it's tiring. reminds me of some improv game where as they pass the story down to the next writer, they have to play off whatever scenario has been set up.

DEAN Brother, I'm done. SAM No. No, you're not. Dean. DEAN Grab a pen. It's time to say goodbye.

i thought i was done with suicide trauma related triggers for the season. silly me

hello improv game. yes, rando dude working at the diner is the immortal oskar of rowena's past. of course.

DEATH Even if I remove Dean from the playing field, we're still left with you, loyal, dogged Sam, who I suspect will never rest until he sets his brother free – will never rest until his brother is free of the Mark, which simply cannot happen, lest the Darkness be set free. Then there was that time you stood me up.

think that's technically on dean, not sam

DEAN Remember when we were in that church, making Crowley human, about to close the Gates of Hell? Well, you sure as hell were ready to die for the greater good then. SAM Yeah, and, Dean, you pulled me back. DEAN And I was wrong. You were right, Sam. You knew that this world would be better without us in it. SAM No, no, no, wait a second. You're twisting my words here, Dean. DEAN Why? Because we -- we track evil and kill it? The family business? Is that it? Look at the tape, Sam. Evil tracks us. And it nukes everything in our vicinity -- our family, our friends. It's time we put a proper name to what we really are and we deal with it. SAM Wait a second. We are not evil. Listen... We're far from perfect, but we are good. That thing on your arm is evil, but not you, not me. DEAN I let Rudy die. How was that not evil? I know what I am, Sam. But who were you when you --when you drove that man to sell his soul... Or when you bullied Charlie into getting herself killed? And to what end? A good end? A just end? To remove the Mark no matter what the consequences? Sam, how is that not evil? I have this thing on my arm, and you're willing to let the Darkness into the world. SAM You were also willing to summon death to make sure you could never do any more harm. You summoned me because you knew I would do anything to protect you. That's not evil, Dean. That's not an evil man. That is a good man crying to be heard, searching for... some other way. DEAN No, there is no other way, Sam. I'm sorry.

halfway convinced me they should have ended this several seasons ago, reunited in heaven and be done with it all.

when dean was beating the shit out of cas i was wondering when sam and dean were gonna get into it. well.

SAM That's enough. Hey, that's enough. You will never, ever hear me say that you -- the real you -- is anything but good. But you're right. Before you hurt...anyone else, you have to be stopped at any cost. I understand. Do it.

i know i'm especially jumpy about dean being ready to die, but sam who i tend to be more bonded with these later seasons, he's ready to die for the greater good quite regularly. or when he thinks it's time. or whatever else. but his comes from a place of being (theoretically) logical and rational, whereas dean's is the opposite. and i guess that's why it pushes my buttons so differently.

all that said, i haven't cried like this from a finale in some number of seasons. but it feels greatly cheapened by the inane plot hoops needed to jump through to get us here.

sam nodding to give the go ahead to kill him is crushing.

i know dean kills death at some point, which is a shame. i'll miss his actor. but i'm guessing now's the time

it's giving twister (1996)

i hate that all this was essentially setup for the new big bad. but we can't have the sam and dean show without these kind of plot hijinks. and trying to come up with new bigger badder bads over time just makes it more and more ridiculous. the reality that there's 5 seasons left to go is really hitting me now.