#ringotalks

realized the solution to life is to be an oddball. i gotta embrace that i am STRANGE and OFFPUTTING. i will not be silenced anymore

My weight is as unstable as my emotions

It feels like years since I been back here. I came across something I want to get off my chest but do not have anyone I can let listen. I have some followers but no one that really knows or checks up.  This is not directed to a specific person, or people, or no particular being at all.  As late we all experienced drastic changes that affect us deeply. I wish no ill will to you and I would like you to do the same. I have never spoken to you and wish I never have to. There are times I wish you didn’t exist since your very being hurts far more people than you probably anticipated. I want to be mature about this, but I know my actions may make matters worse so I will not intervene. Although if this goes any further, I will decide otherwise. You are not allowed to carry on and guilt others into your biding. It is one of the most immature actions I’ve seen an adult do because they are not capable of maintaining their own emotional wellbeing. Well guess what, seek help. You have options, friends, families, online companions, there are numbers to call, places to go. I’ve been there. So stop what the fuck you know you are goddamn doing and go get help. I’ve been in dark places and I came back up, not many people are as lucky. I did not come back unscathed. I have scars. I have tried so many things. It was not an easy process. And some days it was not even worth it. To wake up and go through all the menial tasks of everyday life to re-experience this monotonous cycle. I hate it. Everybody does. But we do it anyway for the little occasional glimpse of joy we don’t expect that comes from the most minor unsuspecting things.    The more I find out about you, the more I detest your entire existence for the actions of the past months. Surprisingly, I’ve been down that path more similarly then I’d wish to admit. Despite the details it actually the same situation, and it ended the way it should have. As yours should, you had the power to walk out with your head held up high, but now you’ve lost it with your barrage of attacks. I really wish you could stop and be happy on your own. No one needs to suffer through this, not even you. So please, stop. And move the fuck on. Leave it alone. There is far more I want to say but I can’t put into words at this moment. I really want to say the most awful things but I will take the high road. I will say, if you continue to keep harming the people I care about, I will find you, and I will end you.