#rhociconfession

“Fuck no, we’re not friends. I have a best friend, and for good reasons she stays away from the cameras. If I had to be friends with any of these insane bitches, I’d have lost my head a looooong time ago. But they make for entertaining dinner parties, and I am constantly bored and in need of some fun. Can you really blame me?”

“Charity is my best friend. Or was, I don’t know how that stuff works out. But we were tight, and I think I knew more about her marriage than her husband does. But ever since Reina’s here...I don’t know. I love some new blood, and I definitely like Reina’s attitude. I’ve been growing close to her, but a girl should never forget her roots, am I right?” 

“Evelyn’s a nutcase with loose morals, and before the plastic surgery, loose everything. And Rowan...hmm, I can’t believe I’m saying this but...I can actually respect her. She seems level headed, but everyone’s got a limit, you know” 

“I mean, I love that guy. No homo, but I don’t mind going full homo if he’s interested. Like....he’s the Sundance to my Butch. The Chucky to my Cheese. Best bro, not friend. That’s cheap sentiments.”

“I think’s a great guy, Topher. I mean, I’ve heard of his accomplishments. He’s got a level head on his shoulders. Love that. And I’m on Reddit....for the memes, I swear. His wife, on the other hand....uhh....I just wanna say, he must be a very patient guy, and I really wanna learn his ways for my future.”

“I mean....I was kidding. Totally.....mostly. Well, do a background check if you’re so fucking curious.” 

“Yeah, I love all animals. Give me a tiger, I’ll hug the shit outta it. So obviously I wasn’t going to help her egg the dogs.....but she won me over with bad dates. That’s a touchy subject, so yeah...I’m gonna egg that guy’s car.”