#rgpr

Dear God, Please Kill My Treadmill

(Mark Dabney

It came to a point where bigger wasn't better It was time for me to lose a few pounds. So I hit the Internet to see what I could get that wouldn't have me flailing on the ground So my solution was a treadmill because I'm not what you'd call a gym rat And I can perambulate with the best of them But then the speeds kept going up and what's with this elevation? Led me to categorize the emotions that I felt First there's Love, and there's hate And there's love hate, that's mostly hate And there's love hate, that's somewhat love, but mostly hate Results are one thing, and for that I am thrilled But Dear God, please kill my treadmill. when I sit around the house, I can hear it in the basement my telltale heart that never fails to beat, try as I might, with all of my might, I can't stomp you to death with my feet. So my solution was a treadmill but our end games seem so different I want to lose some weight and it wants me dead  but It took 3 friends to get it here and I don't want to hear them bitching If I tell them I what's going through my head 'Cause there's Love, and there's hate And there's love hate, that's mostly hate And there's love hate, that's somewhat love, but mostly hate Results are one thing, and for that I am thrilled But Dear God, please kill my treadmill. Results are one thing, and for that I am thrilled But Dear God, please kill my treadmill. and sure the mirror reflects less of me and sure I feel like a better me my loss is my gain, but just all the same dear treadmill, I hate you, please die It's the wrong side of 6am and I've been running for an hour Dawn breaks against it's judging glowing light  It's been watching and waiting in it's silent determination Without a punch it's already won the fight. My solution was a treadmill and my hubris is my downfall Anyone can walk or so I thought Now I'm slipping as I'm running because tears and treads don't mix well This is the fresh hell that a trip to sears as wrought 'Cause there's Love, and there's hate And there's love hate, that's mostly hate And there's love hate, that's somewhat love, but mostly hate Results are one thing, and for that I am thrilled But Dear God, please kill my treadmill. Results are one thing, and for that I am thrilled