Jan 26
an act of rescinding : cancellation… See the full definition
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So far ?
Who can I be besides me?
Before I began writing I had to research culture. What is culture to me, my origins, my family? My culture is me. I am a young African American girl struggling to find herself. I’ve lived in Hawthorne, California for most of my life, but I don’t consider myself “urbanized”. For as long as I can remember my peers have been calling me white-washed or an Oreo. It has always bothered me, but could I really say they’re wrong? Growing up listening to Rascal Flats and Frank Sinatra there was no way to avoid being an outcast in school.
I never had a problem with who I was and people usually didn’t care either. Occasionally, there would be that one girl that would pick on me. It was always the same problem: “I thought I was better than others, because I was in a gifted class and I was black.” What I never understood was that people would be mad at me for excelling and wanting more of myself than to be that average “black girl“. While I’m not ashamed of my culture or my family, I am not them. I don’t like being stereotyped, so I try not to be stereotypical.
I like to keep things about me different. If I dye my hair I go orange, because if I’m going to be noticed I want it to be because I have orange hair, not because I have brown skin. My mom once told me that she named me Jai because she wanted me to have a fair chance at everything I do. She wanted me to be able to turn in a resume and have people look at my achievements rather than if I were male or female, black or white. When you see my name on a piece of paper you don’t know what sex I am or race, so all you have to judge me on is what I bring to the table. Being black can some times come with a negative connotation and I am truly thankful that my mom gave me a chance.