#reus11

I took a deep breath and followed the lines of my hands on the counter, as I always did when I tried to keep calm. It’s okay. It’s okay. Maybe it’s good news. Pale blue lines from my arms to my knuckles. I can feel her eyes on me. Silent breath. I felt her stand up and walk away from me, towards the couch she spent the night in. 

Eyes still on my hands and I could hear her sit in silence, not so far away from me.

 And then she spoke. ‘Everything okay?’

I turned to the sound of her voice and her dark eyes got hold of mine for a split moment before I had to shift from spot to the sink and hide from her inquisition. I am not used to this. 

No. Nothing’s okay. ‘ Yeah, yeah. Everything fine’ I let out the words turning to look at her once again, hoping I sounded convincing enough. 

I saw her tilt her head a little, eyes studying my face and for a second there I thought she looked disappointed. It took me a second to understand she was when I saw her nod and get up to her feet, pick up her purse and get in her shoes, making her way to the door. 

What? What the hell just happened? 

'What are you doing?’ I asked  but she was not looking at me as she walked to the door. 

‘I am going home.’ she said coldly as I followed her down the hall. ‘You need to be alone apparently.’ She only asked to be polite.

She walked a few steps before me and I could only look at the back of her head and her shoulders, so determined to go. 

‘Alex.’ She didn’t stop. Stop. 

‘Alex.’ She was at the door now and when she turned to look at me, her eyes seemed a little angry. So intense. 

Why are you angry at me? 'How are you gonna go home?’  I only asked, not parting my eyes off her face. 

'I’ll call a cab.’ She replied pulling out her phone and I could tell the battery was dead. She looked as if she had had enough already. 'Or you will call one for me.’ She said dryly, touching the door handle behind her, impatient to go.

'You can wait inside.’ Why do you want to go in such a hurry? 

But she shook her head firmly. 'I’ve been here longer than I should. Bye.’ She said without even looking at me and rushed out leaving me to facing the door all by myself. 

What the...?

I stared at the black door in front of me and I felt puzzled. She left. She asked what was going on and I said it was all okay. I thought she didn’t really want to know. She left. Maybe she did want to know. She left.  And I didn’t mind her staying. 

‘Alex.’ I sighed and open the door to go after her. 

When I got outside, there she was walking back and forth, her arms wrapped around her, eyebrows frowned, brown long hair brought on one side and I was sure she was waiting for the cab i never called. 

She stopped in her track when she looked at me and she gave me a questioning look, tilting her head to the side, not hiding her surprise. I know she had been wearing the same clothes for more than a day now and there was barely make up on her face, but right there, with her tangling eyes, I didn’t mind looking at her. 

'Where’s my cab?’ she asked impatient. 'Please tell me you called one!’She really was restless. 

I could only stare at her and dag in my pockets. She raised an eyebrow at me, not approving my silence apparently .

'I am sorry!’ I said suddenly and I was sure it was the first time I had had seen her so dumbfound.  She was not expecting that. 

‘For what?’ I have confused her apparently. She asked wrapping her arms around her and I did not know why I almost took a step forward to do so myself. 

‘For.. Well all of it!’ Her eyes didn’t leave mine and I felt like I had to go on.

‘Well, for once I did not call a cab.’ I smirked. 

‘For last night too.’ And I felt like she studied every inch of my face as I said the words. 

'You’re right it was not my decision to make. It was yours. No matter how stupidly and recklessly drunk you were.’ She rolled her eyes at me and I realized she did that a lot and I could not help but smile. 

'Then for whatever just happened in there that made you leave.’ I finally said and only looked at her, her big dark eyes staring at mine, her slightly parted lips and then her eyes again. 

They locked to mine for a split second but before I knew she looked down, hiding them from me. 

‘I thought you’d rather be alone. I don’t know who that was on the phone or what they said and it’s not really any of my business but you just… ‘ She said in a much warmer voice than she usually did as her eyes came back to mine again, confident, strong, intense.

‘You were so still!’ She whispered and I had to look down. She had not missed that. No matter how hard I tried to keep it from her.

‘Come back inside.’ I told her.  ‘I’ll make breakfast. Okay, we’ll order it but just come inside.’ Don’t go. 

‘I’d rather not be alone right now.’ And I meant that. Her big eyes chased my every word, her eyes on my lips. ‘Please come inside.’ 

***

ALEX

He was standing right in front of me and his closeness made me feel surprisingly intimidated but not as much as his words, or the softness in them. I’d rather not be alone right now.

His eyes searched mine and I could not help but let him wander in them, not looking down. He came out to apologize. To me. After everything. Please come inside.

‘Marco...’ I barely found my voice. He swallowed at the sound of my voice and held on to my eyes. I felt the urge to take a step closer and belittle the distance between us but didn’t.

‘Maybe I should just get home and leave you be, think about whatever is troubling you.’ I told him and he stared at me for a while longer before he nodded slowly, hands going deeper in his hoodie’s pockets.

‘It’s been one hell of a long night and I’d like to get home.’ I said and he nodded as a sign of agreement, although his jaw was tense.

‘Sure.’ He said nonchalantly taking half a step back and only then I realized a red Mercedes had pulled over in front of his door and we both turned at the sound of the honk.

The woman behind the wheel smiled and waved at him and he greeted her with an almost smile before she made a sign for him to open the gate. Oh, she’s going in. I couldn’t get a clear view of her from behind the wheel but she was incredibly pretty, that I could tell.

‘Seems like you won’t be alone after all.’ I told him detached and he turned to look at me, eyes haunting mine as if asking me questions.

It looked as if he wanted to say something but I did not let him. ‘Please call me a cab. I will wait here and don’t keep her waiting, open the gate.’ I told him, putting up with his stare.

He nodded as his eyes stayed with me for a while longer. ‘Fine.’ He said dryly before he turned away to open the gate for her.

Just a few seconds later I could see her driving in his house and the gate close after her car.