#returnera

when it becomes clear what Cody is going to do Kenny has to make a choice, and the speed with which he reacts suggests it was barely a choice at all. he’s already on his way before Cody even raises the chair

[ID: two gifs. in the first Kenny slides into the ring under the bottom rope right as Cody lifts the chair. Kenny rips the chair out of Cody’s hands and throws it. In the second Kenny is shouting and shoving Cody who starts to shout and shove him back. Chase and Hikuleo are uncertainly holding Kota by the hair this whole time. End ID]

I highly recommend watching the moment for yourself, there’s something so magical about the crowd reaction, the way they come alive when they see Kenny

the way they scream when he looks at Kota for the first time

[ID: a gif of Kenny pushing Chase and Hikuleo and walking towards Kota, who is rolling away towards the edge of the ring. He turns back around to Cody. the second is a picture of that moment with Kenny looking down at Kota, Kenny’s face is expressive, Kota’s is obscured. Chase looks on clearly confused. End ID]

the way they start chanting his name as he and Cody shout at each other, the only ones in this situation who are unequivocally on his side in this, wholeheartedly supporting his choice to protect Kota

It’s just a perfect moment, one of my favorites in this whole story. it’s the first moment of Kenny’s feelings for Kota being put out in front of everyone, finally unmasked for what they really are. everything he’s been telling us for years has been a lie, he doesn’t want to fight Kota at all. he can’t bear to see him hurt, can’t bear it to such an extent that he attacks one of his own friends, shoves his own stablemates, pushed into action without thought or plan by the power of his feelings for Kota

(and as a queer person it makes me emotional to see a gay love story so public, so central to the plot, with all these other characters involved and invested)

Kota ends up curled up by the edge of the ring, not looking. waiting.

[ID: gif of Kota curled over the apron, he’s perfectly still, hiding his face in his hand while the bullet club argues in the background. End ID]

But nothing else happens

Kenny doesn’t approach or look at Kota again.

[ID: Kenny shouting at Cody: “YOU LOST YESTERDAY! YOU LOST! IT’S OVER! LET IT GO! LET IT GO!” End ID]

eventually Kenny tells Cody that he is the leader here and Cody seems shocked, shocked! by this information. he leaves, and gives his ‘he said i’m not the leader, than who am i’ promo in the post-match comments [LINK]

Kota does post-match comments too, and when the reporters ask Kota what happened, he first tries interpreting their question to be about Cody

[ID: picture of Kota saying: “I guess he wanted some revenge.” End ID - LINK]

when the reporters make their meaning more explicit

[ID: picture of Kota as reporter says: “At the end, Kenny was there to save you.” End ID - LINK]

he lies (as he admits later)

[ID: three gifs of Kota saying: "I don't know what that means. I don't know why. I don't know if he was trying to save me." he keeps looking down. End ID - LINK]

and then he changes the subject

but before he leaves he tells them that he has something planned for this year, something that he’s gonna make happen

back in the ring Kenny takes this opportunity to give a speech

[ID: picture of Kenny in the ring with a mic and a BC shirt saying: “The Bullet Club hasn't been whole for a long time. We need unity! We need to be a team again! [...] No more fighting! [...] I know exactly what we need.” End ID]

Kenny’s Big Idea To Save The Bullet Club From Divorce is adopting a horrible garbage emo son who is just obsessed with knives

Jay White has just recently joined the heavyweight roster after his time on excursion following his training as a young lion, and last night at WK he challenged Tanahashi and lost

[ID: picture of Kenny speaking to Jay White in the ring saying: “I've always seen your potential...You remind me of the Cleaner Kenny Omega in 2015.” End ID]

unfortunately for Kenny, Jay isn’t actually very much like 2015!Kenny at all

he isn’t a deeply insecure, heartbroken loser so desperate to become something worthwhile that he’ll join a group he knows isn’t a good fit and make himself second to a man he doesn’t respect. he isn’t trying to bury a golden heart underneath grey hair and anime villain posturing, he’s genuinely garbage through and through.

and he knows the look of a man spinning wildly out of control when he sees one. he’s not hitching his horse to that wagon

[ID: Jay, wearing a BC shirt, poses in celebration with Kenny, then his expression changes and he drags his hand across his neck and attacks Kenny. End ID]

more than that, he knows Kenny.

[ID: gif of Jay from his post-match comments: ”Kenny, did you forget the time we spent together on tour when I was a young boy? I know what you’re like. I know what the Bullet Club is like.” End ID - LINK]

He’s been training in NJPW for quite a while now. in fact, he was one of the young lions who carried a weeping Kota to the back after Kenny’s betrayal in 2015.

[ID: gif of a young Jay White and Sho Tanaka carrying Kota away from the ring. End ID]

he hasn’t forgotten witnessing that act of betrayal. he even brings it up later (Feb 2018) to warn Kota against trusting Kenny again

[ID: three gifs of a future post-match comments where Jay says: “Don’t forget who your tag partner tonight is. Don’t forget Invasion Attack 2015... I remember. I was right there at ringside watching. He hopped up on the apron, distracted you for a split second, but that was more than enough. That’s on Kenny. Don’t forget what he’s like, or Ibushi your heart...your heart will be broken once more. End ID]

he tagged with Kota once a few months after that betrayal (Kota defended him when AJ Styles attacked him after their match), and then in 2016 he met Kenny in a singles match. Kenny was incredibly disrespectful during their match and he remembers that too. [LINK]

Jay recognizes this BC invitation as the admission of fear that it is, what better way of keeping a potential rival out of your way then bringing them into your stable? (stablemates fight at most once a year during the G1 climax)

his rejection is a shock to Kenny

[ID: Kenny, exhausted and laughing, in his post-match comments saying: “Well I can't say I expected that. Usually- Usually everyone is dying to be a member of the Bullet Club. I feel like an idiot.” End ID - LINK]

Kenny gave up everything to be a member of the bullet club

“One by one, as time went on, I lost everything. And in times when I had something that I enjoyed in life, I had to sacrifice it in order to become the best.”

- Kenny Omega, in an interview leading up to WK12 [LINK]

sacrificed his relationship with Kota

ID: picture of Kenny on a rooftop talking to Kevin Kelly and saying: “When I perform I give you of my heart and of my soul, and even tho that heart is black and that soul is mostly gone, it's still enough to be better than everyone else.” End ID - LINK]

corrupted and damaged his own heart and soul

and here’s Jay White, treating the honor of Bullet Club membership like it’s less than nothing.

I feel like 2016 and 2017 were the years of Kenny Omega getting everything he ever said he wanted and finding those victories empty

He won two heavyweight titles, became the first foreigner to ever win the G1, main-evented WK... but the closest he felt to happiness during that time was winning the G1, and he said: “Maybe the only other time I felt that was when I was a tag team with an old partner of mine.”

he used to feel that joy that all the time when he was with Kota, and now he only gets brief flashes of it

Even Kota’s return has been completely different to what Kenny said he wanted. No epic showdown where Kenny could finally prove himself better, instead Kota reached out and Kenny pulled away

and during this time his only solace has been the Young Bucks

but lately the bucks have been distracted with their youtube show and their new ROH friends (including Cody)

last night at WK Kenny had to stumble out alone, and today at NYD the bucks didn’t have his back yet again

after the show the the BTE guys go out to a restaurant together and shit finally hits the fan [LINK]

hilariously it starts off with Nick (holding the bucks’ single emotional intelligence brain cell as usual) noticing the tension between kenny and cody and being confused (proof that the bucks genuinely didn’t see what happened at NYD)

and Kenny let’s it all spill out

[ID: two gifs. Kenny at dinner with everyone saying: “five episodes later, where are my [BTE] appearances? Where are my vlogs?” and in the second: “What about me getting my ass kicked by Chris Jericho? Where were any of you?” End ID]

(we later learn that Cody has been interfering with the BTE editing, which is at least part of why the vlogs haven’t been included)

but those things are mild aggravations compared to the central issue here. and Kenny finally acknowledges it

[ID: four gifs of Kenny at dinner saying: And I said specifically to you, Cody: anyone but him. Anyone but him. So I have to ask you, Cody, now that we’re just out in the open addressing this. We might as well just tackle this right now. Why? Why?” End ID]

this is so heartbreaking to me. Kenny is finally pushed to the point of admitting that he has tried to protect Kota, and just as he gets there, Matt begins complaining that kenny is ruining their nice dinner, like kenny isn’t demanding an explanation for the love of his life getting jumped by a supposed friend

but the bucks don’t understand what this is really about. not only did they not see the events of NYD, they think the tension between kenny and cody is about Being The Leader (something they care nothing about), so they can’t recognize what is really at stake here or why Kenny is so deeply upset

and you almost can’t blame them, because Kenny has been lying so hard about it for so long

after NYD he gives an interview in Tokyo Sports and tries to pass off his reaction as annoyance at Cody for stepping out of line

(When he tried to attack Ibushi) Cody went into business for himself. That's the kind of thing Jericho would do, or Suzuki Gun. I don't want that from Bullet Club. I want us to be the best in ring bell to bell. I'll have to go back to Canada, take a break and think about this. Of course Kota and I have a lot of history but any more than that.. no comment.

- Kenny Omega, translation by Chris Charlton [LINK]

I really do think that if Kenny had, at this point, taken them aside and explained everything to the bucks, they’d have had his back. but he just isn’t capable of that admission right now. maybe he never was, but certainly not now when he’s feeling so embattled and alone

[ID: gif of Kenny standing up from the table saying: “You have purposefully excluded me from everything anyway [...] Whats another episode without Kenny Omega? Let’s make it number 6!]

Kenny leaves and cody tells the others not to follow him

he evil master plan is coming along nicely, he’s pushed Kenny nearly to the edge and started to fray the bond between him and the bucks

but he hasn’t fully considered the consequences of giving Kota Ibushi hope

Kenny was pretty consumed with thoughts of Kota during the G1, but in the time since the hallway touch he’s become avoidant. When asked about picking Kota as a possible WK12 opponent back in July he says that he doesn’t even know if Kota will be sticking around till WK12, so he’s not thinking of him. Personally I think the hallway touch made him reconsider what it would be like to face Kota in the ring

(like it was nearly unbearable to even be physically close to Kota, there’s no way he’d have been able to actually fight the guy)

so instead Kenny becomes embroiled in a brutal, bloody feud against Chris Jericho

it’s a feud that kind of plays into the liminal nature of Kenny’s wrestling alignment. his WK entrance (which proudly proclaims “Change The World”), and his gear (cyber-anubis with a big gun), are an extension of that

“Lately I have been doing the 'God of Pro-Wrestling' thing, and changing my statement. I don't want to be the Cleaner anymore; I kind of want to ease into this 'change the world' thing. [...] [the entrance and gear are] a huge ego trip thing, it was just ridiculous but I thought it felt for our thing because I was starting to get sympathy as a babyface, but at the same time I wanted that chip on my shoulder [...] because I didn't want to go full babyface yet, and I didn’t have clearance too, so I thought it would be really cool to go with the get up that I made.”

- Kenny Omega on Talk is Jericho [LINK]

the bucks have their own brutal WK match earlier that night (it’s so good, full of Monster Mode!Bucks and interesting relationship stuff - Official LINK), and during the match Matt Jackson “injures” his back (this will be important later).

but the bucks still take the time to help Kenny prep backstage and accompany him to the ring

[ID: picture from BTE of Nick helping Kenny put on his costume backstage. End ID - LINK]

Kenny wins his match against Jericho [Jan 4, 2018 - Official LINK], but some time during the match the bucks are kicked out by the ref, so the image you’re left with is Kenny stumbling out, barely able to walk, and all alone

[ID: gif from WK12, and Kenny walks out alone, stumbling and almost falling down against a guardrail. End ID]

earlier that night Cody and Kota both debuted new gear (and in Cody’s case, new (Evil) hair) [Unofficial LINK, Official LINK]

[ID: picture of Cody with blond hair grinning wide, Brandi Rhodes behind him. End ID]

Kota’s gear is filling out with more and more gold the longer he stays in Japan.

[ID: two picture of Kota’s shorts. The gold now covers his entire right side, with the wing now shown in silvery white. End ID]

the match starts off with Cody reinforcing that yeah, he is gonna be weird about this

[ID: three gifs of Cody helping Kota to his feet, in the first he stands over Kota’s prone body and holds out his hand. in the second Kota cautiously takes it and Cody pulls him to his feet, holding his hand too long and looking into his eyes. End ID]

Through the match you get a better sense of Cody’s feelings about Kota, not only are his romantic taunts more cruelly direct but his deep seated, personal jealousy is more obvious. He reacts furiously to Kota’s seemingly effortless athleticism and tries to incorporate more flippy moves himself. He's visibly angry and confused at the cheers Kota gets, and the boos he receives instead

He’s physically brutal, targeting Kota’s formerly-injured neck (the neck injury that partially resulted in him leaving njpw) but as expected he is most dangerous to Kota through his knowledge of the Golden Lovers

[ID: gif of Cody holding a dazed Kota by his hair and yelling: “Kenny doesn’t love you like I love you” into his face. End ID]

(Please do note that when cody says this Kevin Kelly, the english commentator, laughs out loud and goes “what in the world is that about” which is exactly what cody deserves)

Kenny doesn’t love you

Kota isn’t always as direct and public with his feelings as Kenny is throughout this story, but you can see the hurt he carries in the fact that he hasn’t used the Phoenix Splash (the move Kenny’s betrayal ruined) since returning to Japan.

[ID: gif of Kenny’s betrayal back in 2015. End ID]

Kenny isn’t certain if Kota still genuinely cares for him, and Kota is just as uncertain of Kenny’s feelings. Cody’s taunt would probably have landed no matter when it was said, but in light of Kota’s recent, failed attempt at a reunion, it comes off even crueler.

And it’s cruel to Kenny too. You know he’s watching this match, you know he hears Cody say this.

but Kenny isn’t the only one who has changed a lot over the past two years

Kota will not allow himself to be defeated by another member of the bullet club who tries to use Kota’s feelings for Kenny as a weapon against him

And to prove this to himself, to Cody, and to everyone watching, Kota hits Cody with his new knee-based finisher

and he doesn’t cover him

instead he goes to the turnbuckle

[ID: three gifs. in the first Kota uses kamigoye against Cody. in the second Kota pauses, overcome with emotion before heading to the turnbuckle. in the last Kota does his phoenix splash. End ID]

and he uses the phoenix splash, reclaiming his move and winning the match

for himself and for us

[ID: gifs of Kota’s post match comments. The reporter asks: “And you unleashed the move you’ve been holding back...what was the reasoning behind that?” Kota replies: “I had to do it...for my fans...and for myself.” End ID - LINK]

and with the confidence gained through this match, Kota is ready to make a promise going into 2018

[ID: gifs of Kota saying: “In 2018...something is coming. It’s going to happen here, in New Japan. I’ll make it happen.” End ID - LINK]

Kenny debuts his own new G1 gear in his match against Okada (this is his last match before the finals, where he was supposed to meet Kota) and it’s…listen.

[ID: four pictures. on the right are Kenny’s new gear, the butt has two wings, one white shaped exactly like the wing on Kota’s old gear, the other blue with less of a clear wing shape. Kenny’s right shin guard has the same design as Kota’s old shin guards, the left a mix of that design and Kenny’s name. In the left kneepad is Kota blue with a white Omega symbol. The right kneepad has half the bullet club symbol, half the wing from Kota’s gear. End ID]

I once described this gear on twitter as Kenny’s “I still love you” gear and the gear-maker Haoming liked the tweet

the gear incorporates Kota explicitly into every aspect of it

[ID: close up picture of the gear described above, including Kenny’s pants which are black with a white wing on the front right side. End ID]

the wing on the front of the pants is in the same place the gun used to be in a past versions of Kenny’s gear. my favorite part is that Kota’s gear design is almost disrupting the “Omega” on his right shin guard, like his heart is glitching through the constraints he has put on it

anyway, Kenny has a great G1, facing and beating Okada in less than 30 minutes [August 12, 2017 - Unofficial LINK, Official LINK] (it’s not a title match obviously, and Okada is severely “injured” from his earlier G1 matches, not even able to perform a kip-up in their pre-match tag. Kenny wants to beat him at 100%, and this isn’t that. but it’s still a huge accomplishment, and it secures Kenny a title shot down the line)

the bucks are there at his side during the Okada match, and they accompany him to the finals against Naito

[ID: gif of the bucks kneeling beside Kenny after he beats Okada. Matt holds an ice pack to his neck and shakes his head in amazement. End ID]

the match against Naito is incredibly intense [August 13, 2017 - Unofficial LINK, Official LINK]

and Kenny loses

[ID: gif of the bucks carrying an exhausted Kenny out. End ID]

Looking back a while later Kenny is able to admit that Naito deserved the WK main event, but his one regret about the finals is that Kota didn’t make it

[ID: picture of an interview with Kenny talking to Kevin Kelly saying: “But I do wish that my old...friend, rival...partner... I wish he would've kept his promise. End ID LINK]

August 14, 2017, the day after the finals NJPW uploads the post-match comments from the G1 final [LINK], and at the very end is this:

[ID: picture of a hallway, Kenny (still being carried by the bucks) is on the right, Kota standing alone is at the other end. End ID]

njpw’s official twitter tweets out the hallway video as well [LINK] and Kenny RTs it, with the comment: “This should never have been released.” [LINK]

Kota is standing in the hallway, waiting for Kenny

when Kenny approaches him, Kota reaches out and puts his hands on Kenny’s chest. Kenny holds the hand that Kota puts over his heart, and Kenny’s face is just pure pain

[ID: two gifs of Kota with his hands on Kenny’s chest. Nick keeps his arms out, holding back the reporters in the hallway. Kenny is holding Kota’s hand against his heart, he leans his head back, face pained, and then he looks at Kota, and then down looks down. End ID]

while they hold each other Kota asks him if he’s okay

“He asked me if I got injured, and if I was okay, but it doesn’t matter to me. It’s not worth it to be told anything after the match that I devoted my life to. His worry for me? I don’t even want to hear it.”

- Kenny Omega (originally translated by the lionmarks but the page is deleted, it’s still recorded here)

Kenny can’t do this. He can’t face Kota’s love and concern and the possibility of forgiveness when he knows he doesn’t deserve it, not when he’s standing here feeling worthless after failing to win “the big one” yet again.

[ID: gif. Kenny let’s go of Kota’s hand, shakes his head and reaches up to pull Kota’s hand off of him. End ID]

Kenny spent so much time chasing Kota and feeling like he was being slowly left behind, and finally these last two years he felt he’d flipped the script. He wanted so badly to be this Wrestling God, to be someone who Won Matches when Kota came back, someone different from the loser that face!Kenny used to be

[ID: Kenny in an interview saying: “That happy go lucky positive message Kenny, he didn't win that much. he always lost the big one, people loved him, he was a nice guy, but he always lost.” End ID]

after sacrificing his relationship with Kota in pursuit of his own ambition, you’d hope that he’d at least have something to fcking show for it.

And he is genuinely angry at Kota for leaving him behind, as unfair as that is

“[in the hallway Kota said:] ‘I'm here for you. Are you okay? Are you injured?’ It's a little too late for that. Where were you? Where were you for the past however many years its been? Did he care so much about my injuries, my performance, or promises when he left on his own to accomplish his dream of being a singles star? No. No. Why does he care now? 'Cause he sees that the spotlight is on me? Is that why?”

-Kenny Omega in an interview with Kevin Kelly [LINK]

He pulls Kota’s hands off him

[ID: Kenny pull’s Kota’s hand away and walks past him, putting a hand on Kota’s shoulder as he goes. Kota just stands there. End ID]

but even as he pulls away he reaches out for Kota’s shoulder, like he can’t quite bear to let go of him 

And he walks away

The bucks are there for the whole interaction, utterly focused on Kenny’s well-being, ready to back Kenny in anything he wants to do, whether that be speaking to Kota or not. When he makes it clear he wants to go to Kota they immediately put their bodies between him and the reporters, giving him the most privacy they can muster under the circumstances

[ID: four pictures, the first two Nick and Matt are holding Kenny up at the entrance to the hallway. Matt says: “What’s- What’s he doing here?” Nick says: “Wait-” Matt: “Wait wait wait!” Nick: “Hey-” Matt: Are you sure? Are you sure?” in the third as Kenny walks up to Kota Matt goes: “Hey, stay back here!” Nick: “No no no!” Matt: Let these guys-” Nick: “Stay back!” Nick: “Stay back! Give them some space! GIVE THEM SOME SPACE!” End ID]

Guardians of Kenny’s Heart.

automatically moving to protect him even when they don’t understand what’s happening here

they’ve met Kota before in matches a few times, they know he and kenny used to be tag partners, and they’ve heard stories about him from Kenny. They know from Kenny’s BTE vlog that Kenny wanted to face Kota in the finals, but they don’t understand what Kota means to Kenny.

[ID: gif. As Kenny walks away down the hall, calling for the bucks, and Kota stands still, Matt walks past Kota and looks him up and down. End ID]

You can see their confusion when Kenny walks away, glancing at Kota like “what was that?”

[ID: gif. the bucks walk behind Kenny as he leaves, but they keep glancing back at Kota, clearly confused. End ID]

Kota is left alone, his hope of reaching Kenny crushed

[ID: screenshot of Kota’s tweet in Japanese. End ID LINK]

“Yesterday’s touch was nothing. As things are now, maybe there was nothing I could even touch. It’s sad to hear that we are on different paths. But as for the ending of those paths…”

- Kota Ibushi [Mithen translation LINK]

(I love the way that whenever Kenny is surprised by someone asking about this story or is placed in the same space with Kota unexpectedly, he always struggles so much to stay in character)

once he locks down his initial response he launches into this monologue that is just…

[ID: gif of Kenny speaking to the camera sometimes with his thumb against his lips. He says: “I want you to promise me...I want you to promise me and be a man of your word. Promise me, Ibushi.” End ID]

a lot. like it’s SO MUCH to have Kenny talking to Kota at you!! IN A ZOOM MEETING!!!

"It's been a while. I was waiting. And I wondered what it would take. See, having the best match of all time at the Tokyo Dome wasn't enough. After I won the G1, I thought for sure you would come back to me. After I had the greatest match of all time at the Tokyo Dome, something you could never do, I thought you'd come back. What makes you come back now? What makes you want to challenge the G1 after everything we've been through? Is it something that you're doing for yourself? Are you trying to challenge me? Are you trying to catch up to me after I surpassed you? These are the questions that are running through my head. You know, I still have your number. I still have your email. I could always call you. I could always contact you. But I wouldn't know what to say. So, Ibushi, if you're in my block, let's do our talking in the ring. And if you're not in my block, Ibushi, I want you to promise me... I want you to promise me and be a man of your word. Promise me, Ibushi, that you'll make it to the finals. It's the only way we can meet. So whether you're in my block, or whether we're in separate blocks, I want to see you in that ring. Show me how much you've grown. Show me what you've learned. Oppositely, I'll show you everything I've learned, and I'll show you how much I've grown. Things are different now. You're not The Man anymore. I'm so much more than what you are now. And I can't wait to show you the difference in our power.”

(the way he says ibushi every other sentence just like in his first promo all those years ago :((( )

so there’s a lot to unpack here.

all these years Kenny has consistently tried to interpret Kota’s behavior through a lens of his own values, falling into the classic trap of assuming that just because you are utterly driven by ambition and insecurity that those around you must be too. And now that Kota’s back it doesn’t even occur to Kenny that his return could be about anything else. Of course, the only reason Kota would come back is to one up Kenny. What else could he want? Not Kenny’s burned and blackened heart.

Also, can we talk for a second about the way Kenny admits that all this time he’s had Kota’s fucking phone number??? all those interviews and promos, doing his moves in all those big matches, all that work to get his attention and he could’ve just picked up the phone!!! but what would he say? he can’t bring himself to apologize, he can’t bear to make himself vulnerable to Kota, and so they have to meet in the ring instead.

Because if Kenny can beat Kota his pride will be assuage and he’ll be able to graciously extend his hand from a place of power. and if Kota beats him then maybe they’ll be even, reunion and penance in one, and he won’t have to say a word

Anyway it’s July 2017 and NJPW is in America for some shows (i’ll go back to this later) and Kenny is technically trying to win a title here but Kota is never far from his mind, even more so than usual.

He’s asked if he could pick any wrestler as his next opponent, who would it be and he says “Ibushi. Yeah. Of course.” [LINK]

in an interview of 100 Questions [LINK] he gives us this little moment:

[ID: gif of Kenny in a car being interviewed. He says “A date?” and the interview says “yes” and Kenny says “Like with a man or a woman?” End ID]

and this:

“Do you have any pain in your body right now?”

“Yeah, of course. My neck and my back. My knee. My shin... My broken heart.”

and just to prove that his infuriating behavior knows no bounds: he tries to recontextualize his destiny with Kota

[ID: screenshot of Kenny at the post US title victory comments saying: "Whether I finally have to accept my destiny and crush you, Ibushi...it shall be done" End ID LINK]

[ID: screenshot of Kenny in the Begin Japanology documentary saying “I felt like my destiny, if there is such a thing, was to come out here and fight Kota Ibushi.” End ID]

back then he believed their shared destiny was to meet, to fight (as opponents or as partners), and to make magic together in the ring. now he twists it into being just about beating Kota.

Around this time Kota has a short documentary video released before the G1 [free on NJPWWORLD LINK], it doesn’t have English subtitles, but he’s working out in his personal gym which is fun to watch

[ID: screenshot of Kota all sweaty laying on the mat with his arms above his head. End ID]

Kenny, heartsick fool that he is, watches it obviously and brings it up in an interview about the G1 when asked about Kota’s block

(Kenny and the translator both start smiling as soon as the host mentions A Block, it’s v cute)

[LINK - Kota stuff starts around 55:00]

“A Block? There’s only one. There’s only one. Look, I’ve fought all these guys. I know what they’re all about. I understand them. I have faith that I can beat any one of them. But there’s only one of them that I want to beat. There’s only one of them that I want to meet. And it’s you, Ibushi. Look, it’s a different world. And I saw your training video *smiles and shakes his head* you can’t just wake up one day and decide, “yeah, hell I’m gonna join the G1! I’m gonna win the G1!” The world isn’t that easy. But, Ibushi, somewhere in there…you have it in you. And if it’s still alive, and you have been training, and this really is your time, take it. Because I never stopped after you left. After you left me all alone…to fend for myself…I never stopped training. I never stopped sacrificing. I never stopped feeling the pain. I never ran away like you did. So if you can make it to the finals…that’s where I’ll be waiting. And then finally, I’ll make you feel the pain, Ibushi. And I’ll show you through my actions, everything that I felt while you were away - after you threw me away - to accomplish your own dream. Your own pipedream of becoming a World Famous CWC participant.”

Talk about rewriting history! Talk about rejecting personal responsibility for the consequences of your own choices!!

he’s so unwilling to look his own culpability in the face that he’s made all of this Kota’s fault. Kota abandoned him, threw him away because he couldn’t keep up, and now Kota is back, but only because he sees Kenny as competitively worth his time.

and you can see that hurt and anger that Kenny feels in moments like the G1 press conference [July 14, 2017 - LINK], where Kenny spends the entirety of Kota’s promo glowering covetously at the back of his head

[ID: screenshot of Kenny glowers at the back of Kota’s head during the press conference. End ID]

but Kenny’s perception is all off. Kota didn’t come back to fight him. He doesn’t even know if he wants to.

“I think obviously Kenny and Okada are the favourites in block B. That said, I do have my doubts over whether this is the right time to face Kenny, but then maybe facing Kenny in the finals and winning is a one of a kind of opportunity.”

“You have your doubts?”

"It’s very complicated, and I have a lot of conflicting emotions about it. But ultimately I think it’s not the right time right now. I’m more interested in getting my singles match revenge against Okada.. or maybe Michael Elgin.”

- Kota on njpw 1972 - LINK

As much as Kota thinks a singles match between them might be the best match ever, he’s worried about the likelihood of them hurting each other, especially given the person that Kenny has become [LINK - translation by Chris Charlton]. as we’ll see later, he’s not interested in the lovers doing their talking “in the ring.” and he’s not especially drawn in by Kenny’s taunts

He doesn’t get asked about it directly, but here he is reacting to Naito saying the same stuff:

[ID: screenshot of interview transcript. Interviewer: “Naito was always very mindful of you. When he felt that he’d surpassed you, it became a big theme for him, a big talking point.” Ibushi: “Ahhh, so in his mind he just thinks I’m beneath him (laughs)” LINK]

Kota’s not even particularly impressed by Kenny’s recent matches!

All the while that Kenny has been building his mythos in njpw, Kota has been healing from injury and trying to re-find his footing, exploring the world and how he feels about wrestling when he isn’t trapped under the yoke of an impossible schedule. And now that he’s back in Japan he’s faced with a former lover who has become almost unrecognizable. Is the man he knows still in there? Could he bear to make himself vulnerable enough to find out?