#retromafia

You knew the rules and yet, you couldn’t help but bend them… okay that’s being nice, you fucking shattered them.

“If you do this you and I will be bonded for life.” His voice had been smooth, eyes gleaming red under the lamp as he smirked knowingly.

How could you decline his offer, eternal life… with him. It sounded too good to be true and yet… you felt your heart jump with excitement at the thought. He was stupidly beautiful, eyes dark and a bit deranged, hair curled at his ears, and god… his smile felt like a knife to the back.

Everyone—everyone knew not to go to him. He was crazy, insane, mental, mad, blah blah blah that didn’t matter anymore. How could he be seen as those things when in reality, he was so so sweet.

When you looked at him there was no evil, no ill intent—just him. Even if he had (apparently) done some horrifying shit, there was some sick part of you that liked that. You liked all of him. Despite his flaws, despite the agreement, you liked him.

That is until he started being a controlling asshole.

—

You went to him that first time in a moment of weakness, you were tired and beat down by life, needing relief. Demons were never someone a person just went to. The church preached that if you were ill enough to seek out demons then you were just as evil.

That part didn’t really bother you. But whenever you’d see the signs casting all non-humans as the enemy, it irked you. It was a new kind of prejudice and they couldn’t even see that. You weren’t raised by bad people, you could care less if someone were a vampire or werewolf, you’d met plenty of those growing up.

But demons on the other hand were much rarer. Not many stayed on Earth anymore, it was more dangerous than their home down under. There had always been the same one in your town, he’d been there for hundreds of years apparently.

Everyone knew the stories of how he’d lure in young people and eat them alive. That seemed like a lie but you were still wary. Despite not having ever met him, you’d seen him around. Just glimpses of pale skin and dark eyes.

He didn’t spend much time out of his estate (how it was acquired was unknown to you). It was a large looming house at the edge of town surrounded by miles of woods. Just the driveway alone was almost two miles.

That gave you a lot of time to think on the way there. You were encouraged not to go to him by your friends. “Go see the Jesus family instead, vampires are safer.” One said, another berated you altogether. Telling you how dumb the idea was in the first place.

“You’ve heard the stories of lost lives to that… fucking thing.”

Part of you wanted to listen but curiosity didn’t kill the cat on its own.

—

You remember the night you walked inside that old house, felt the power radiating off the walls. Your fingers skimmed along the wall as you stepped further inside. The furnishings were extravagant. There was no sound save for the occasional creak in the floor.

Something about the air felt so comfortable. You weren’t alone for long, he appeared in a shadow, teeth gleaming.

“Hello, you.” He’d been the first one to speak, you stared in awe.

You knew his name, you thought it was beautiful… fitting enough for a beautiful man.

When he finally showed himself your heart jumped out of your chest. How could evil personified be so… painfully gorgeous. He wasn’t even extraordinary to look at, but he was so pretty it hurt. Sprouting from beneath the darkness of his curled hair were short black horns. They gleaned in the candlelight as he stepped out from the shadow.

“I knew you’d come one day, welcome.” Even the way he moved enchanted you. “Make yourself at home, I’m sure you’ve come for a reason.” He crossed the room and sat on the couch that was placed in front of an unlit fireplace.

You were frozen in place, a statue. “Are you cold?” He leaned on the arm, looking at you over the back of the couch as he raised his hand. Your eyes widened as flames appeared above the logs. “Do you like my horns?” He wrapped a finger around one like it was a piece of hair.

The question caught you off guard, did you like them? You wondered the same yourself. Finding your voice proved to be more of an issue than answering. “Uh– yea, I… I suppose? I didn’t know you had horns.”

There it was, you saw how his eyes lit up.

“Come sit,” Your body moved before you comprehended the offer. “Why are you here?” The eye contact was too much, you had to look away. How could someone’s eyes be red and brown? It didn’t make any sense.

“I’m not too sure why.”

He laughed, “Yes you are,” He was right.

You knew exactly why you came to him. You were so incredibly bored with your life, it was the same cycle each day, there wasn’t an ounce of change. It was killing you.

That made your face grow hot, how he knew didn’t matter. It was the admission that embarrassed you more. “Yea.” You stared at the fire, “Is it true you kill people?”

He nodded, “I’ve killed lots of things.”

“Why?”

“It’s my nature and nature. Cycle of life and the like.” He was so casual, it unnerved you but it was hard to look away. “Or sometimes just because I could.” He shrugged.

“What happens if I say your name?” You wondered aloud, having heard plenty of stories about how a name holds power over demons. Something about some stupid balance.

A wicked smile grew on his face, “Oh, so you know about that, do you?” You nodded, “Sad that it’s just a rumor then.”

“What?” He nodded, “Damn, that seemed too good to be true I guess.” That made you painfully curious to say his name, you didn’t even know if it was his real name anyway. “So if I were to say it right now, nothing would happen?” You asked, a nod in response.

Your eyes met his as you muttered two words, “Bonnie Gold.”

That grin returned as he stared right back. “Sounds nice when you say it like that,” Bonnie looked away, “That’s not my real name, you know?”

“Really? What do you have, like, a demon name?” Your question wasn’t rhetorical, it was just a joke but Bonnie answered with a nod. “Huh.”

—

“Did you know that demons were sent to Earth in an experiment?” Bonnie asked, you shook your head. “To see how we’d get along with humans, I was one of the first sent down– well up.” He chuckled at the thought.

“What was that like?”

Bonnie’s eyes darkened, “Lonely.”

You knew you shouldn’t feel sympathy for him but it was hard not to. “I can’t imagine.” You spoke quietly, he was so close, so near it was overwhelming.

“Yes you can, I can see it in your eyes.” Bonnie put a hand on your cheek, it was cold but you didn’t mind.

How he’d seen through your facade of contentment was beyond you. What frightened you more was how soft his voice sounded when he said it.

“You could no longer be lonely with me. We could be lonely together, my love.”

Those words were so beautifully wrapped, covering the lies you’d soon uncover. Maybe it was naive to believe a demon of all things but at the time, it didn’t matter. He had consumed your hopelessness and turned it into happiness.

“With me, you’ll be perfect forever.” He ran a stray finger down your face, watching you closely as he did so. “Why grow old when you can always be young?”

“I’m not sure forever would be enough,” It sounded cheesy in your head and so much worse out loud. 

But Bonnie seemed to like that sentiment. “Just ask and it’s done, love.”

Your eyebrows knitted together, “Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

And so… you asked. You said the words he had been drawing out of you for weeks. You’d spent so much time with him in secret for fear of what your friends and family would say. Bonnie was much different around you, he was sweet and attentive. He would indulge your stupid questions and answer with real sincerity.

It was nice to be listened to.

Though sometimes… he’d sort of, slip up. You’d see flashes of the demon from the rumors. It didn’t really surprise you, just made you wary. 

“Can you make me everlasting?”

The question was simple enough, just five words and your fate was bonded with his. Unbeknownst to you, he had played you like a fiddle. All of the sweet smiles and laughter… it was fake. It was all a lie.

You saw his true colors that night you begged him to change you. Into what, you weren’t too sure, but it didn’t matter if it meant you’d be together forever. He explained it in half truths, always turning to distract you from asking too many questions.

And god it felt so stupid to have fallen for his obvious manipulation.

—

It wasn’t like you changed your mind right after he did it. No, you didn’t realize how he was slowly stifling you until years later. You too, became a part of the rumors about him. “He and his pet”, they’d say. You didn’t care about what they said until you realized how true that was.

You weren’t his equal, you were in the most technical sense; him. Bonnie made you from his own essence in turn making you into a half-demon. Your appearance remained the same save for that same red glint in your eyes and horns that mirrored Bonnie’s.

Bonnie was still sweet–for the most part. He had a temper and didn’t know how to manage his emotions, living with him soon became exhausting. Even with all of the perks of it, you began to notice how you longed for regular life again.

You missed your friends, Bonnie’s weren’t the best people. They all had what he did, a human turned demon companion… according to them, Bonnie was the last to “obtain” a human friend. That part irked you. But you saw how happy the others seemed, they genuinely loved their partner.

At one point, you loved him too but… it became too much. The changes inside your body made your emotions amplified and dizzying. It took ages to get used to it.

—

A decade later, you were as young as you were when you met Bonnie but your friends were not. You weren’t allowed to see them. You doubted they’d even want to see you after what you did. But you couldn’t help but watch over them from the shadows, some got married and had children, others moved out of the country. You found yourself becoming jealous of their mundane lives.

All they had to worry about was stupid inconsequential things like taxes or if they bought enough fruit to last them a week. If only someone had warned you. The irony of it all was that now that you had your taste of the supernatural, you wanted nothing more than to give it all back.

Bonnie told you it was irreversible, undoable, impossible to revert you back to being human without the time your body resisted crushing you. But at that point, you were too tired of it to not beg for him to do something.

—

“Am I not enough for you? I surely was when you begged me to turn you into one of us.” He spoke with venom, eyebrows pushed together in anger.

“I didn’t beg you to turn me! You bullied me into it! I just wanted to get to know you,”

Bonnie grabbed your wrists and pulled you close, “I did nothing of the sort, I just pushed you into the right direction.”

“Same difference, Bonnie.”

He scowled, “You came to me, begging me for a contract!” He suddenly pushed you away.

Your eyes grew wide, “No I didn’t! Stop lying! I am so sick of your lies!”

“What do you expect from a demon, child?” Bonnie sneered. He didn’t look like himself anymore, his face contorting at such a speed you could barely comprehend it.

“I know there’s a way to undo it, just please. Let me go, you can find another person who you will treat better I’m sure of it. I’m not right for you.”

Consoling him didn’t help anymore than screaming. If anything, it made him so much more angry.

His expression changed suddenly, “Please don’t leave me, I have no one. You know this.”

“You have hundreds if not thousands of friends.”

You saw a sliver of the sweet persona he put on when you met. His eyes softened and he looked heartbroken that you’d even ask to get away.

“You are all I have.” Bonnie’s eyes stayed on yours, it was impossible to look away, “Why do you think I jumped on the opportunity to make you like me? You’re perfect in every way, perfect for me.” His gaze was so heavy, you felt like you were being compressed into a small room.

He got a hold of your face, “If I’d known you were unhappy, I’d have done this long ago.” You didn’t understand as he tightened his grip on you, it hurt so bad. “You are not going anywhere.”

Something inside you changed, he was beautiful again. An angel… you wanted to laugh at the thought but he held you in place. Bonnie smiled and looked at your face, watching you carefully. “You will stay with me.”

Flashes of his anger and manipulations showcased in your brain. You set your jaw, trying your hardest to fight against his compulsion. It was how he’d gotten you so easy but you couldn’t leave. You physically couldn’t, even if you despised the man in front of you, your body had more power over your mind.

His eyes hardened into the blackest of blacks, dried blood. It was painfully ironic how things played out. “You want to stay with me.” Bonnie’s grip on the back of your neck was bruising as you felt sweat begin to trail down your forehead.

You felt like you were being choked but your throat was untouched. It was like all air had been sucked out of the room and your lungs. Painful gasping sounds were all you could respond with. Your eyes bulged out of your head as his words changed the very framework inside your brain.

It was like someone had taken a melon baller to all the hatred and contempt you held against Bonnie Gold and began scooping it out. The pain was like nothing else, burning and hot but you were ice cold. It was (ironically) hell. 

Bonnie only watched with a sick fascination as a curious smile grew on his face as you calmed down.

“How’d we get here, Bonnie?” You wondered, confused as to what happened, “My head feels horrible, god.”

He offered that same sweet smile of his, “You hit your head, dove. That’s all.”

“I thought demons couldn't get hurt.”

The news had, at first been a real shock to your husband. The scars he kept from Dunkirk were still fresh and he doubted himself a lot on his ability to be a good father to something as delicate and fragile as a baby. However, as months passed and with a lot of reassure from your part, Henry had started to feel more confident and ready to welcome this new life.

You had absolutely no doubt he would be a wonderful father, he already was to you three other children as well as being a wonderful husband and a wonderful man. You couldn’t be happier to have him by your side during this great journey.

« Is everything alright, love? »

You turned your head towards Henry and nod, smiling.

« Everything is fine I was just thinking about how happy I am »

His lips stretched into a smile and he kissed your temple.

« I want a kiss too, daddy »

Alice’s high-pitched voice interrupted you and you both stared at her, laughing. Henry passed by you, grabbed his little girl and gave her the biggest kiss on her cheek. She kept giggling at the gesture and you smiled fondly. She had grown up to be the most adorable three years old girl you had ever seen and she was definitely her daddy’s girl. You could always find her perched on his knees or asking him to say more about creepers plants, or as she called them « creeperers plants ». And although you felt a bit jealous of your husband, you couldn’t help your heart melting every time you saw him genuinely laugh along with her.

You walked past the small river in the garden and Henry got to show to the kids waterlilies, you also met a mama duck with her flock of ducklings and a couple of old swans. Further in the garden, you discovered very colorful hydrangeas, some blue, some purple, some white, some with a bit of everything and your encyclopedia of a husband explained that if a same bush of hydrangeas had flowers of very different colors, it all had to do with the acidity of the soil.

« Does that mean I can have light purple one and bright pink one? » asked a very excited Charlotte followed by an equally excited James « Could I have yellow one? »

Henry chuckled and gave them a positive answer which resulted in them negotiating in every way to bring some home.

You continued your walk through the park, finally arriving at Henry’s favorite place of all: the rose garden. It had a very sentimental value to him, that’s where he took you for your third date after you told you found his passion for plants « endearing », that’s where he asked for your hand and you always looked like a walking piece of art in the middle of those roses.

You loved the rose garden as well, the smell of roses was sweetly intoxicating the air around you, each kind of rose looked more beautiful than the previous one and also for the same sentimental reasons as Henry.

It was a habit for you to spend time there every time you would go to the botanical garden. There were spaces were you could sit and enjoy a picnic in the middle of the roses, it was big enough to let the children play around you and it held a sense of peace, a tranquil atmosphere the whole family enjoyed.

After settling down on the blanket you brought, Charlotte insisted to go see the greenhouses and James decided he wanted to follow her. They managed to obtain what they wanted at the only condition of being careful and staying together. Alice was currently trying to catch a small butterfly (poor thing, your daughter had the reputation of being a very perseverant and stubborn child) which left you with Henry and future mini Wilson.

You sat next to Henry, one hand caressing your round belly and the other around him. He had an arm around your shoulders as the other rested on the ground.

« You know, we still haven’t thought about a name yet? » you asked suddenly

«  Well…do you have any ideas? »

« I was thinking about Margaret… »

Henry frowned, looking at you.

« Why are you so sure it’s a girl? »

You shrugged.

« Mrs. Connor says so…and she had told me Alice would be a girl »

« Right well either way, I won’t name my child Margaret! »

You pushed yourself away from him.

« Why not? It’s a beautiful name! »

He shook his head in disagreement.

« What about…what about Anne? »

It was now your time to scoff and refuse.

« It’s just not suited…we can’t name her Anne! It reminds me too much of that cousin I can’t stand! »

Henry sighed, about to propose to think about the baby’s name at another moment when Alice came back, running excitedly towards you.

« Mummy, daddy, look! »

She showed you her small hands and inside, a small blush pink rose.

« Alice, you can’t pick up flowers like this! » you scolded

« But…but it was already on the ground… »

You sighed, reassuring her it was alright and she smiled, sitting between you and her father. She stayed still for a moment before catching sight of the butterfly she was chasing earlier and before you could even remind her to be careful, she was already far gone.

Henry and you remained silent, enjoying the warm weather and the sweet scent around you. He put his hand over your belly, trying to see if the baby would kick as he told them about the rose their sister found and how it looked like a bourbon rose when you blurted out:

« What about Rose? »

Your husband gazed at you, confusion painted all over his features and you explained: « For the baby, if it’s a girl, what do you think if we named her Rose? »

He kept staring at you and for a moment you wondered if he understood what you were saying but before you could speak again, his hands embraced your cheeks and his lips found their place on yours. It was a sweet, loving kiss he would usually give you at home but you certainly didn’t mind. You felt your legs turn into jelly, your heart swoon and butterflies, alike the one Alice was chasing, seemed to be stuck in your stomach.

When Henry leaned backwards, he joined his forehead to yours and mumbled against your lips « I think it’s a wonderful idea »

You smiled, happy he finally agreed with you when you felt a soft kick in your belly. Your hand instinctively touched the place where your baby had hit and the smiles on your faces brightened.