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dirty coward & it’s all my fault // you’re better than you think you are & cowardly lion
this is another one where i pair a lot of these together, simply because they go hand in hand with who varric is at the crux. mainly because he has a massive guilt complex and carries the worlds between his rugged shoulders, even when he doesn’t have to. of course this makes him one of the games biggest hypocrites because he spent an inordinate amount of time convincing cassandra that the events in kirkwall were propagated by many and not of the few — and in turn spurring faith for the faithless.
he thinks of himself as a coward due to these neuroses, even though he is often seen standing with either hawke or the inquisitor, regardless of his fears or the warnings he had stated prior he’s always with the people who need him the most. and yet he blames himself for the events that happened to hawke — ( i have even written if he had just let hawke been mugged, the family would have been much better off, and then the lapse in funding wouldn’t have allowed bartrand to go to the deep roads ) there is a lot of guilt resting on the shoulders of this man, and he thinks he’s the dirty coward for not standing against bartrand before the lyrium took over his mind completely along with the fact that he watched his mother die from liver cancer.Â
it’s not until the inquisitor actually points out that he never left, regardless of the fact he was free to go and could have turned tail at any given moment but didn’t, proving that regardless of his fear, he is braver than he seems.
of course, it’s all my fault comes back in full swing complete with card change when the puppet master that enchanted his dick shows up ( i do love and respect bianca a lot, especially with everything she’s done with her inventions, but this writing was so sloppy and dirty i will never be over it ) and blows a huge hole in the plot and leaves him wondering if he’s actually a good guy at all.
with some hand holding, varric returns to normal and a little more open.Â