#resident reader

It all started when you were a med student, during your first clinical rotation in orthopedics. On the first day, Brendon Park ‘greeted’ you, his reputation had already preceded him through other rotations, and that day you finally understood the nickname ‘The Shark’. He was massive, scary, intimidating, imposing and a string of other adjectives that somehow only made him hotter to you.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him: the way he performed examinations, how he handled each body part, how his hands moved during an OR.

You were aware of how pathetic this was, but you couldn’t do anything, you were completely lost for him.

Then the rotation finished, and in the end you choose the ED for your residency, but you anyways find a way for see Doctor Park again: you figured out pretty quicky that he was usually the one to handle ortho consult, not just the surgical ones. From then on, you started calling for consults, his consult in particular, for basically evrething. Robby didn’t always let them through, but in the end you always found a way.

“Twenty-four year old female, twisted her ankle coming down the starirs this morning…” You explain the case while passing the iPad with the X-ray to Robby. “I think it’s needed an ortho consult”, you conclude, trying to keep your voice casual.

He put on his glasses and studies the result with a tired expression. “I think it’s too much, the X-ray it’s perfectly fine.”

You try to come up with an excuse “Yeah, but she said her ankle is hurting a lot. She seemed pretty distressed.”

He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes with his free hand. “Listen Doctor y/s/n, do as you want, if you think it’s needed call for a consult.”

“Thank you.” you said quickly, and then proceed to make the call before he can change his mind.

Dana approaches Robby with another iPad in her hands, glancing in your direction. “Another ortho consult?”

Robby put on his glasses again while taking the new tablet. “Yes, I think something isn't right with that girl.”

Dana smile, barely holding back a laugh. “You haven't figured it out yet?”

Robby looks at her genuinely confused. “What?”

Dana started laughing “She has a crush for him.”

“What?!” Robby lifts his eyes from the iPad and glances towards room 10, where Doctor Park is doing the examination while you stare at him with an intensity that makes it painfully obvious. “Since when?”

“Since the first day, it’s pretty obvious. She always finds a way to call an ortho consult.”

“Do you think Park has noticed?”

“I think he’s not unaware, but he never complained about it or reported her to HR. If you ask me, he's fine with it.”

Robby, shocked, starts laughing along with Dana.

Times passes, a new shift comes, and with it a new opportunity to call an ortho consult.

You finish explaining the case to Robby with your usual “I think she needs an ortho consult”, this time it was an elderly lady in her seventies with a jammed finger.

“Don’t you think it’s a little bit too much for a non-displaced finger fracture?” Robby answers, his tone sharp.

“The patient is old, I think it could be dangerous.”

Usually Robby wouldn't let you get away with something so minor, but he rebembers the conversation he had with Dana the other day. “Ok, fine.”

“Really?” you ask, caught off guard.

“Yeah, you can call Doctor Park.”

“Oh … okay, thank you.”

You rush off to page ortho, and a couple of minutes later Doctor Park arrives. He already knows where is your station is, after all the times you’ve called him in.

He stops in front of the desk with his arms crossed. “I hope this isn't one of your nonsense calls, Doctor y/s/n.”

Caught off guard, you explain the case. The two of you head to the patient and he begins his examination.

You notice something is off with him, and you start to think that maybe you went too far this time.

“Everything is fine, Mrs. Miller.” he says, finishing the exam.

“Oh thank you so much, Doctor Park. You are a really lovely young man.” The old lady beams, and Park gives her a hint of a smile.

Then he turns towards you with the mostlethal look you have ever seen. “Let’s have a talk in private, y/s/n”.

You follow him into an empty room.

“You've hit rock bottom with this. You called a lot of times for unnecessary things, but this wasn’t even unecassary, it was stupid.” His voice is sharp and controlled.

You try to explain yourself. “I’m really sorry. I was just worried for the patient, she’s a old lady and …”

"You know, it’s funny.” He cuts you off without acknowledging what you were saying. “It seems like ever since you got here, no one knows how to properly deal with minor injuries. Are you incapable of doing your job?"

“I-I can assure you I know how to do my job …”

“Then explain yourself” He shouts.

You know you're in serious trouble this time. You never see him like this, and to make everything worse your brain didn't want to be supportive and started to think he was really hot right now.

You try to keep your eyes on him, but his expression is too intimidatory.

“Maybe… it could be that I like your company.” you said wishpering.

You still can't bring yourself to look up at him, you’re too scared and embarrassed, but you don’t need to see him to know how disappointed he looks right now.

“You know, y/s/n, I thought this little fixation of yours would fade after the rotation ended. Instead, here you are still, and the way you’ve been acting only makes it more pathetic.”

“Yeah … I’m concern of it.” you said with creacked voice and eyes still fixed at the floor.

He walks out of the room, letting the door slam behind him, and heads back to his department.

You stay in the room for a moment, processing what just happened. You weren’t sad about it, rather embarassed.

You step out and Robby approaches you. “Everything okay, y/s/n?”

You smile at him. “Yes, Doctor Park just wanted to clarify something.”

He smiles back and returns to his patient.

After that scolding you start calling only when it’s really necessary, you wouldn’t want to make him that angry again. Actually it looked like you were starting to avoid any possible orthopedic cases.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Dana asks you while showing up from behind your chair.

You turn her way. “I’m checking a thing.”

“Good, then you can get the patient in north 4.” She says, pointing that way.

You look at her, exhausted. “Another one?!”

“It’s weekend hon, you know how it works.” She concludes, already heading back to the nurses' station.

You check the iPad that Dana handed you before leaving, shit, a 23-years-old male with a broken wrist from rugby training. This time it couldn’t be avoided, you had to call for an ortho consult.

You make the call, and a couple of minutes later Park appears in front of you. “Is this a real intra-articular fracture, Doctor y/s/n?”

You hand him the tablet with the X-ray. “Yes, Doctor Park. This time it’s as serious as I told you.”

He goes to do the examination, and when he's finished he returns to your station.

He allows a small smile. “I see you've finally learned how to tell a minor injury from a serious one.”

“Yeah.” You responde in a netrual way.

He look at you in a stranger way. “Let’s talk.”

He steps into an empty room and you follow him.

"Are you okay?" he asks, with what sounds like genuine concern.

You look at him fairly confused. “Yes, everything is fine … why?”

“You seem off.”

Now you're even more confused. “I was worried that you would get angry again for calling for a consult, after last time.”

"Last time I wasn't happy about being called in for a jammed finger."

"You said I was pathetic." His expression returns to neutral, arms crossed. “Yes, beacuse try to reach to your older attending’s attention by calling a consultant for every stupid things is …”

“I wasn’t exactly trying to get your attention …” You interrupt him, but then you look up and catch his irritate expression. “… sorry, you were talking.”

“As I was saying, your behavior is pathetic, but it doesn’t mean I’m not happy about it …”

“You enjoy that a girl is so desperate for you? … Sorry.” You blurt out, only to shut yourself up as fast as possible.

“As I was saying, again, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy about seeing a disperate girl always calling for my consult, even when she’s capable of doing her job, just for get my attention.”

He takes your chin in his hand and tilts your face up toward his. There you can see his devilish smile. “I really like seeing you like this. It suits you.”

That last line makes your brain short-circuit.

You wacked him with the most pitiful expression you coud make. “Y-You know this isn’t what felled like, right?”

His expression seem like shifting in a guilt one. “Listen, let me make it up to you. I was thinking of hitting the gym after the shift, want to come? Maybe I can help cheer you up.”

You consider his offer for a moment. You are possibly one of the least athletic people you know, but this is too greet an opportunity to pass up, you never imagined he’d talked to you about anything unrelated to medice. Spedding any time with him outside of work feels like winning the lottery. “Y-Yes, okay. But I’m not very athelitic.”

Jack stares a lot; sometimes he is conscious, but often he is not.

It is not staring; it’s studying.

You are sighing, you are distracted, he had to snap you out of it, multiple times, and worst of all, your mopey face when you think no one is seeing you. 

“Everything alright, kid?” he asks you, startling you when you were mid-typing your chart.

“..uh, yes, Dr Abbot, I’m sorry, I just froze.” You chuckle, shaking your head, then you continue looking at the computer screen, trying not to find his gaze

He hears the nervous chuckling, how it is airier and shakier than usual

“Stop typing, take a breather”, Jack orders you. 

“ I..I need these done”, you blink, surprised looking at him. 

Jack looks at you and crosses his arms

“‘Kay, finish those, then go to the breakroom”, he signals with his head. 

“I don’t need a break”, you answer meekly, knowing you shouldn’t have said it, but it went out of your mouth faster than light. 

Jack just looked you up and down and crossed his arms again. 

“....yes, sir”, you acquiesce

When you go into the breakroom, Jack is already there making a new pot of coffee. 

“Smells good”, you take a deep breath, inhaling the aroma of coffee. 

“I bring the good stuff to lift my spirits, and someone needs their spirit lifted”, his eyebrows raised to his hairline. 

“Me ?”, you point at yourself 

“Mhh”, Jack hums while he hands you your mug with coffee 

“Dr  Abbot, I think you are reading much into it.” You take a sip of the coffee. 

“Calling you multiple times for an answer, moping face, sighing, looking at your phone with an angry face, and typing fast, hmm, maybe I am reading too much into it”, he shrugs, finishing serving himself coffee, then taking a sip as well. 

"kay, fine", you huff  a little hard 

“ Carl is making a fool out of me, he told me, We were official, but he is texting other girls, even sexting them, and I have proof,” you sighed

“I am such a fool”, you sigh, exasperated. 

“Carl, huh ?” Jack's face softens cause he hates seeing you like this. 

“Yeah, ortho resident”, you confirm your defeated face. 

Before you can further vent to Jack, your work telephone announced that there are people incoming. 

“This isn’t over”, Jack tells you before dumping his coffee into the drain at the same time you do it. 

You sigh, “ I know, thank you”, you give a small smile before both rush out the door at the speed of light. 

Even though some shifts are worse than others, Jack and you have bonded ever since you saw him on the roof. 

Sometimes you communicate in clipped sentences 

“Prepare-”, Jack instructs 

“I’m on it”, you answer at the millisecond. “Do you think it is?”, you ask him, sounding doubtful. 

He just nods, face with zero humor, “do it,  follow your instincts".

Another grueling shift has passed, and you feel more miserable 

You haven’t answered any of Carl’s messages; you were texting your friends. 

When you see Carl's message  saying: 

“I am going to the ER. I don't know what’s going on, why you're not answering my messages”. 

Jack is going to his locker when he sees you running, panicking

You just blurted, “he’s coming to the ER, please let’s go, I will crash out if I see his dumb ass”. 

You see the shift in Jack, the military, and the protection. 

He grabs his things in a blur and locks the locker. “Come”, he guides intrinsically by the shoulder to get close to him. 

You missed  Carl by a minute. 

You get into Jack’s car. 

“Thank you, Dr.Abbot.” You get more comfortable in his car seat. 

“You’re welcome, and that was mature of you, kid, knowing what will set you off”, he reassured you. 

“I thought he was different, it felt different, I thought it...”, you just  drop your head 

“Nah, I’m not letting you do that, you keep your head tall; that fucker does not deserve you, end of story. He grabs your face by your chin. 

You feel comforted, safe. 

“ Why can’t guys my age be more.. Like you”, you ask earnestly. 

“ Oh… kid, I have stories to tell, it takes a lot to be where I am now in life,  I have two plans… We can go to a dinner, have some breakfast,and sit or we can go to my house, i have some good stuff, and sit on the couch, you can take those scrubs off, I will lend you a t -shirt and some shorts to get comfortable, which one do you like, cause he is going to your apartment. 

“Jack..I don’t want to impose, I will go to my apartment, I have to confront him sooner or later, you shrug. 

“You’ll do it, on your terms. I want you to not make a rash decision, if you sock him at the pitt, I’ll have to put my attending hat on, or what if it escalates when you’re alone with him.” Jack looks into your eyes. 

"Fine, you’re right”, you shake your head. 

On the way, Jack calls Marco or his guy, the one who delivers his food to the hospital, and orders food for both of you. 

You get to Jack's apartment, and for an older man, it is cozy. Of course, there is a vinyl player and vinyls and CDs with a CD player. And books and journals and a very big soft couch.

“Now this beats a dinner, can’t wait to be an attending to live this lavish.” You look around. 

Jack smirks, closes his eyes, and shakes his head. 

“The bathroom is at the end of the hall, and my room is before it. Get comfortable”, he points at the hall. 

You get into his bedroom and see the screen flash the message of Carl 

“Where tf are you? I am at your apartment and you are not here. Answer the fucking messages”. 

You just groan and roll your eyes.

Meanwhile, Jack is at the door, paying Marco and giving a generous tip, and they discuss how he wants to also pursue a career in medicine. Jack promises they will discuss what they can do to help him get through med school. 

With that, he closes the door and plates the food, and puts it in the microwave for when you are ready.

After you go to his bathroom, you see the pristine order and cleanliness of his bathroom, you take your scrubs off, and you see the chair in the shower, you smile. It might sound stupid, but he has opened his house for you; seeing this part of his daily life away from the hospitals somehow makes your rate go up a little. 

You shower, dry up, and put on his clothes. 

“Ahh.. there you are”, he exclaims

“How are you feeling ?’, Jack asked, his stare always so vulnerable yet strong. 

You take a deep breath, “better, I’m comfortable”, you should get comfortable too.  You go to your bag and put your scrubs in the bag. 

“ I am, let me go get comfortable too, food is in the microwave”, he points walking backwards and the he turns to go into the hall, a couple of minutes later he returns later showered, with some sweatpants and a black t-shirt, you heat up the food and jack goes to the cabinet where he has his liquor and start pouring some whiskey 

“It’s the morning, you think we should be drinking?” you chuckled. 

“We are the night shift, day is night and night is day”, he hands you a glass. 

You both go with your plates, cutlery, and your whiskey and sit on the couch. 

You explain the ups and downs of your relationship with Carl and that you felt that he was the one, and how much this hurt, you drink the whiskey in one shot, groaning at the burn, but then take a bite of the takeout.

“I just wish he could feel the hurt that I am feeling.” You take a bite of your food, frustrated. 

“So do it”, Jack shrugs

“Are you for real?” you laugh 

“Yes, I have a story to tell, kid, it won’t be pretty.”, Jack takes a good swallow of the whiskey.

“I was a Carl when I was young”, Jack confesses, his face scrunching, remembering his dark days as he liked to call them. 

“No, no, no”, you plead with him 

“I like, you don’t do this to me”, your voice cracks a little as you faux cry. 

“ Yes, I know it is not a good reason, but I was a nympho after my first tour, men, women, everything in between, I was promising them the moon and back”, Jack laughs a little ashamed. 

“Hold up, men and everything in between?”, you ask, your eyes bulging out in surprise. 

Jack shrugs, “ I like women most of the time, but hey, I must like men, if I fucked one..hmm, a couple of them and I liked it.. Anyway, I got with this girl Mary, she was good, she was great, and then I fucked it up, with her friend”, Jack sighs, cringing. 

“No”, you shake your head in disbelief

“How close were they?”, you ask fear in your question 

Jack scrunches his face, nods, and drops his head down 

“What the fuck, Jack, why?”, you are curious 

“Sex was a way to fill in the void, the courting was like a hunt, the process of seeing how they fall for you, it makes you have better self-esteem, like being in control. After I got on my first tour, I came without a scratch, but I saw so much.  She knew, but she acted like she didn’t, she paid me with the same coin, with a comrade of mine, Richard, they fucked on my bed, and I found them, she was saying.. More like moaning that if I like her friend just as much as she likes my friend. Needless to say yanked her out of Richard grasp, screamed at her to get out and I fought Richard, I cried rivers that day and she told me she would’ve never done that, if it wasn’t that I cheated first, I damaged her, she said that to me and that stayed with me”, Jack looks beyond like if that memory is playing like a movie behind his eyelids. 

“Damn, that is so depressing.” You eat more and then serve yourself more of the whiskey. 

“point is, unfortunately, some men learn when you traumatize them back”, Jack explains. He shrugs while twisting his lips

“So you’re telling me to pay him the same way he did it to me”, you question. 

“Give him hell, kid, it’ll build character. I got my act together after that, and then I found Kelly, my wife. Two years later, he smiles melancholically and plays with the wedding band on his finger. 

“I’m sorry for your loss”, you put a hand on top of his. 

“ She would’ve liked you”, Jack smiles. 

You eat the rest of your food and drink your whiskey comfortably. Jack stopped and went to his fridge, and came back with two glasses of water. 

You are eating, but Jack can see you thinking about what he said. 

After you finished eating, he smirks, “What are you thinking about, slugger ?”

“ About to do something reckless, but I need this”, you say, sitting more straight. 

He smiles, seeing you more confident. 

“I got someone in mind, my friend Stan, he always hated him and you”, you confess, feeling your cheeks heat up. 

“Me ?”, Jack laughs while pointing at himself, “now what the fuck did I do ?”, he pours more whiskey and also more water. 

“It was after Pitt fest, that procedure you taught me from the journal of Emergency Medicine, I was so excited about it, I talked non-stop about you, he got jealous, bitch, you mumble. 

Jack just shook his head

After that, you talked about music, and he showed you his vinyls and CDs. You're showing him your music, talking about everything, and even the things you've seen on social media. 

“No, Jack, you have to understand, every time this woman is about to give birth, someone important dies.”

 Jack frowns and chuckles, “What?”. 

First child, it was  Queen Elizabeth, with her second child Pope Francis died, and now Ozzy with her third child ”, you explained. 

“ It’s kind of creepy, not going to lie, life  just works in mysterious ways, just a creepy coincidence ”, Jack  tells you 

He takes you to your apartment, after insisting that you can stay in his guest room and that you are not a bother, but you tell him you just miss your bed. 

“ I have a plan with Stan”, you grin a little maniacally. 

“Good”, he  grins back 

“See you on Monday, kid”, he helps you out of the car.

On Monday, he sees you smiling, a pep in your step, being the senior attending he is used to seeing. 

“ I see you better. How you doing, kid?” Jack asks you while throwing you a KitKat, you’re favorite. 

“ You were so right, Dr. Abbot, life is simpler when you traumatize men back”, you put on your best doe eyes at him, and then you both laugh. 

You show him the photo of you and Stan with his freckled back and you hugging, giving the illusion that you are naked. He put on his readers to see the messages. 

The text reads

“ With my hoes, just like you are with yours”. 

His eyebrows are raised to his hairline, looking at you, with his glasses at the top of his nose. 

You sent Carl the screenshots of all the texts you had of him texting and sending nudes to other women. 

And then he sees the longest paragraph he has ever seen since owning a smartphone. 

But your response makes him cackle. It was a sight to behold seeing Dr. Jack Abbot guffawing like that, even getting red with how hard he was laughing. 

You respond with a sticker of a cartoon point with his thumb behind him, and then with:

“ congratulations or sorry for your loss, i ain’t reading allat btw this paragraph is bigger than the inches you gave me, we are done”.

After his laugh calmed down, he put his hand on your shoulder, “give’em hell, kid”. 

Part 1

Part 2

You always admire Dr. Jack Abbot. 

The way he cares for his patients and the people around him.

His quiet strength that he uses to make everyone around feel secure and comfortable with the uncomfortable, especially you, a person who is way younger than the other Senior Residents.  

Today, you saw another side of Dr. Jack Abbott, the side of a man haunted by something from his past. You see him storm out of the room when it was confirmed that his patient was stable.

When you go to the central area and ask the charge nurse for him.

“Where is Dr. Abbot ?”. You ask her 

She tells you plainly with a sigh, “ Taking some air.” She bites her lip a little, trying to hide the nerves. 

The last patient came in black and blue with all sorts of fractures, and you saw that Jack recognized the man in tattered clothes, his cheekbones sharper than usual, a man who lives a rough life in the streets of Pittsburgh, who used the last of his strength to walk into the Pitt and passed out. 

Jack knows who the man is. He would recognize every face that served with him. He goes to the V.A., volunteer, helps veterans, but there was always one person missing. Today he sees one of his, beaten to a pulp, now stable, but was fighting for his life just a few minutes ago. He focuses on bringing him to a stable condition, but Jack can’t breathe, his mind running so fast, and a weight so heavy in his heart and bones. He needed air fast. He all but climbed the two steps at the time just to go to the roof. 

He goes over the barricade, and he stays there at the edge, breathing in and out. He could recover a few pieces of who he was and put himself together. He has a good life, why can’t his fellow brother-in-arms have the same? He tried not to think and breathe, focus on your breathing, Jack, focus, he tells himself. 

You don’t know where he went, you want to ask him if he is O.K 

Sarah, one of the nurses, sees you looking for him, and she hopes that you can support Abbot.

“Hey”, she calls you. 

“You didn’t hear this from me”, she whispers.

“The roof”, she continues while pointing up to the ceiling with her finger. 

“Thank you”, you nodded and went up the stairs. 

When you finally get upstairs to the roof. You see him standing straight on the other side of the barricade. 

Instead of a man, clearly at the edge of the roof, debating whether to take the final step. He looks like that one painting of the man at the top of the highest mountain. Like the city is his. His straight posture, hand in his pockets.

“ Really? You have to aura farm all the fucking time even when you are dangling off the  fucking roof”, you say it with a little faux disgust. 

Jack knew someone was behind; he had lost track of time and thought it was Robby, but when he heard your voice, he was thrown out of the loop. 

“What the hell, did you just say to me, aura-what ?”, Jack quizzes with confusion and frankly a little pissed that his brooding was thrown off. He could never understand the younger people and their sayings.

You cringe, scrunching your face and slapping your forehead. But if cringe helps to save a man from the roof, so be it. 

“Aurafarming,  you state, regretting every word. 

“ Please forget everything I said, we need you back there”, your voice wavering. 

“What the hell does that mean, aurafarm?” he chuckles, the last word sounding so alien to his ear. He turns to you.  

“It means that you are effortlessly cool all the time, so much that it stacks up like points in a video game.. You do that all the time, and it is..wow.. You administering care while donating blood.. You take a deep breath.. Yep, Aurafarming.., putting in practice that experimental procedure from the annals of Emergency Medicine.. While teaching Mohan and me about it.. Aurafarming.., you ramble, trying to think of more examples and get him off of this roof.  

He cracks his neck, takes a deep breath, and his smirk bubbles up into a laugh.. A good laugh. You have to laugh, too, seeing those crinkles around his eyes reappear. Those laugh lines. It is the first time you see him in a different light. He looks at you. He has to laugh. You think he would jump off this roof, and you are distracting him. It is cute to be reminded of the naivety one has when they are your age. 

Maybe it is the light of the city nightlife that shines on him. The way those laugh, lines, crows feet come forward with how hard he laughs. His greying hair, it's the first time you see him as a handsome man and not just your attending.

You don’t know if he is laughing with you or at you, so your laugh comes off as insecure, but you are happy that you can lighten his sour mood. His laugh is a little higher-pitched than you would imagine from his usual raspy voice.

He climbs the barricade and comes to you. He puts a hand on your shoulder and he squeezes it. His laugh calmed down. “ Thank you, kid, I needed that laugh.. aurafarming .. huh”, he smiled. You just nod, still cringing on the inside.