Averill is genderfluid, and though she tends to describe herself with female pronouns internally it’s more out of habit than an indication of favoring the female gender. It’s more often when she is referred to as strictly one gender that rankles her above someone assuming she is a boy or a girl. Averill is very pragmatic and doesn’t mind people assuming she’s one or the other when they first meet her as long as it’s understood that she is both once they get to know her.
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(( i saw this one && had a hard time choosing okay??? so here’s two—- ))
the plan had been for her to go ahead && take the money with her to the rendezvous point herself.
( you’re smaller you’ll hide better with it ) he had argued
&& though he was sure she’d take off his head for the S M A L L comment, she didn’t DISAGREE for once. so with her taking the fastest route && H I M trying to lead suits astray, they BOTH should make it to their hiding place safely;;
{ but by the sounds of a S T R U G G L E ;; apparently NOT }
dropping his pack, he B O L T S towards the sound of the fighting && slows only a moment to analyze the situation
[ T R Y I N G not to focus on how much eu getting hurt bothers him ]
&& once he’s worked out all the WEAK spots && entry POINTS— ( he dives straight into the F I G H T )
FOR THE MOST PART—he && noy had been able to keep theirrelationship under wraps. it’s only ‘for the most part’ becauseyou can never tell what everyone else K N O W S .
{ it’s easier just to hope for what they might N O T }
but friendships—is that what he can call them?—are always so F R A G I L E ;; proofed in the fact that he could hear her distant S C R E A M S becoming LOUDER && LOUDER as he raced towards her—-
&& he knew the moment he burst through those doors, he’s at R I S K of losing more than just a J O B ;
but he’s not even t h i n k i n g as he threw himself between HER && her A T T A C K E R S
he has to take a moment to run in order to catch up to her
( not that it’s all T H A T difficult to do )
but when he does, it’s with a bright smile on his face;;
“ so i have the day off today && i was just W O N D E R I N G
if you wanted to — i don’t know — maybe go on a walk
with me? maybe in town? ”
“What’s the gun for?” / for whoever, probably from noy or eu *-*
kidnapped starters;; victim
“ please don’t ask. ”
his voice comes out in a soft w h i s p e r . he can’t even look at her, as his hand trembles as it holds the gun. usually his resolve is SOLID && unwavering
{ but he can’t — he just C A N ` T }
he’s gotten this far, he’s gone through the motions. he’s loaded the weapon && the safety is O F F . but he still doesn’t have the guts, he just doesn’t have the [ H E A R T ] .
( or , rather, he just has too much of it. )
“ just close your eyes && forget about it. it’s better you don’t K N O W. ”
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{ that’s happened a lot to me lately as well, I’m sorry you’re going through that too. =/ if you’d like some low key compliments & hug time I’m always available }
ah, i’m so sorry too. likewise to you as well. <333 please know that you deserve better than any level of condescension or under-appreciation, okay? :)
THE QUALITY OF HIS TEMPERAMENT. this negates his aspiration to become the ideal personage, therefore leaving him with a great sense of self-loathing. it is a consequence of his not only his illness but the sense that he has the full & only right upon whatever it is he desires, proven by his his killing three gay men in hopes to erase his own attraction to men.
✩ : Belief they’ve questioned/struggled with
IF GOD WOULD EVER FAVORABLY LOOK UPON HIM. though not a strict adherent to any faith, he does want to be chosen as worthy successor to god’s message, even pushing to the point of trying to force a pardon from the prison chaplain .
