#requiembell

Today I tried on my bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding and it was great! I mean, I went in with a positive attitude. A few years ago, maybe even a year ago, I would have cried. I would have picked my body apart. Instead, I saw my flaws and didn't get upset. I wasn't super thrilled with my arms but seriously??? I expected to hate myself. 

Since we already bought the dress, I think I'll try to work out more so I just feel a tad more comfortable in the dress. I think my arms were my only real concern and it's honestly not that bad. 

The most important part of this post is that I wasn't heart broken looking at myself. I've looked in mirrors and wanted to cry. I'm sure everyone has been there. I had been picked on in high school by peers and my own father. I went to college and was surrounded by girls constantly calling themselves and other people fat. One night we went to dinner and my whole floor began commenting on who had lost and gained weight. I've been taught to hate myself and the space I take up. Today, I reclaimed myself and the space I take up. I didn't tell her my size in an ashamed voice. I saw areas that didn't make me happy but I also didn't hate myself because of them. I was able to see my excellent attributes clearly. The consultant complimented my arch in my back that gave me like a shelf above my butt :) I told her how awesome that compliment was. In college, I could put a cup on it for like a second.