#renoki

The lord commander studied his hero's face as he took a sip of his drink. Renoki had never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but Aymeric had noticed at once that something was wrong when he returned from the First.

He had always had an air of quiet assurance about him, a calm confidence that gently reminded everyone around him that victory was all but guaranteed with the Warrior of Light on their side. That air of confidence had gone, replaced by a mixture of weariness and doubt that made Aymeric uneasy because it seemed so misplaced on Renoki. The smile that Renoki had given him was full of weariness and there was something hiding at the edges of his eyes - sadness? Loss? - that he tried to be concealing. Aymeric pondered the reports that each of the Scions had given him upon their return from the First as they recounted their ordeals.

~

Later, Y'shtola had murmured something about Renoki's aether, but Alphinaud didn't catch exactly what was said. By then, everyone had been informed of the fate of the Exarch, and there had been an air of anticipation as the Scions prepared to return to their bodies in the Source. Usually spirits would be high, stories shared triumphantly about their latest victory, the bars crowded as people eagerly gathered to listen. This time, however, a cloud of sadness had clung to the air, casting a heavy shadow over every gleeful smile. Renoki seemed weary, but it wasn't the kind of weariness that came from battle. It was a heaviness of the soul itself, a cloud of grief that enveloped the heart and sullied all happiness. It was a sense of loss.

Alphinaud had been uneasy about the tension in the air. They should've been celebrating their victory - they'd averted a calamity and saved the very star itself from destruction - but Renoki's smile had been a hollow one. He'd lingered behind after everyone else had started to descend the tower, gazing back at the crystalised body with such powerful sorrow that Alphinaud had to look away for a moment to compose himself. He'd glanced back to see the miqo'te's eyes glistening with unshed tears, his head bowed, still clutching the spirit vessel to his chest. He'd opened his mouth to say something, but any words of comfort were lost to him in that moment. Knowing that Renoki would be embarrassed to be seen in such a vulnerable state, Alphinaud had hurried to join the rest of the group, leaving Renoki to gather himself.

~

~

Finally back on the Source, Alisaie had watched the interaction between the miqo'te with interest. She had seen the emptiness in Renoki's eyes, the grief that haunted him like a restless spirit. It had been hard to fully accept their victory while that painful ache of grief was clinging to them all.

G'raha had come bounding out of the building and onto the long balcony, eyes searching the faces for one in particular. He found it at last, eyes lighting up, ears and tail pricking up suddenly in excitement. He ran towards Renoki, slowing down slightly as the taller miqo'te turned at the sound of his rapidly approaching footsteps. Alisaie was intrigued to see that both faces mirrored the same complicated array of emotions almost in unison. First, the pure, unbridled joy of seeing each other again, unharmed and healthy. Then came a complex mixture of emotions that flickered across their faces just barely long enough for Alisaie to recognise them - grief, relief, heartbreak, gratitude, regret, joy, longing, hesitation.

Renoki had gazed at the miqo'te in front of him. G'raha was beaming at him happily, his tail flicking from side to side with uncontainable joy. Renoki found himself grinning back at him, unable to stop himself. His excitement was infectious. Still, he couldn't stop a cascade of emotions from raining down on him at the sight of the Exarch -no, G'raha- standing before him, his skin unblemished by the toll of the Crystal Tower. Their victory against the Ascians had felt unfair. The price, Renoki had thought, was far too high. In all the time Renoki had been a Scion, he had buried far too many of his friends. Yet somehow this victory was the one that finally broke him. He'd watched helplessly as the Exarch's body had turned to crystal in front of him, and then had to leave him behind with nothing but the spirit vessel and the hope that the merging would work. And it had, but this G'raha wasn't the Exarch.

He'd left a part of himself in that statue, forever immortalized in glittering blue crystal.