#renhime

For the love of stupid boys

When high, Ichigo sees the frogs everywhere. When high, Renji remains loyal as a dog and tries to help Ichigo catch said frogs.

There are no frogs.

“Stupid. That’s how I like my men, clearly.” Their girlfriend mutters from where she sits, big purple eyes glaring at the two grown men crawling all over Ichigo’s room on all fours in search of frogs.

Orihime giggles in agreement from next to her, before turning to Rukia. She places a hand on Rukia’s jaw, coaxing her closer.

Guys. Guys, don’t be mad.

Look, I think I’m on the record somewhere as being a closet RenHime shipper, and I am now openly admitting it. I can actually pinpoint the exact second it happened, which was when I read this Bleach Lists post. (there’s a sequel, too, but it was the first one that did it)

Anyway, I was thinking really hard about what absolute goobs Renji and Orihime would be together, sort of shitpost style, and then I started thinking about it fanfic style and then I wrote this goddamn thing on my phone. Halfway through, it just turns into a straight-up Ichigo/Rukia fic and I don’t even know who I am anymore.

It’s extremely pure. It’s the purest damn thing. They have a dog named Rutabaga. I did not stop myself from writing this because writing this made me really happy and writing is a big part of my therapy right now, and so here it is. It’s still the same ol’ Polynya bullshit. Brush your teeth after.

PS: I will 100% answer any asks I get about this fic or RenHime in general

PPS: RenRuki is still the best, I just get in a weird mood sometimes. I will NEVER LOG OFF

Y'know what? I'm sick of the Bleach discourse. I'm ending it right now.

You ship IchiHime? Awesome. RenRuki? Great. IchiRuki? Neat. RenIchi? Beautiful. RukiHime? Marvelous. RenHime? Golden.

It's all canon now. That's right – the true ending is RenIchiRukiHime.

Ichigo and Rukia and Renji and Orihime are all married to each other, in a happy and healthy polyamorous relationship. Kazui is Ichigo and Orihime's kid, Ichika is Renji and Rukia's kid; the other two decide against having biological children because that would become extremely complicated due to laws in both worlds, but it doesn't matter because all four of them are parents to any kids they have.

Kazui got Ichigo's last name, Ichika got Renji, and they all agreed that Rukia's next kid would have Orihime's last name because Kuchiki is a fancy-shmancy super important name and can't be given to any random person (Rukia isn't a Kuchiki by blood, and thus cannot pass on the name). To make up for it, Orihime agrees to give her next kid the Kuchiki name, as she's not bound by Soul Society's laws and therefore they can't do shit to stop her (Byakuya approves of this, but not aloud).

Ichika and her sibling are both Shinigami, Kazui gets a mix of Quincy and Shinigami powers, and Kazui's sibling gets a mix of Hollow powers and whatever the hell kind of magic Orihime has.

Orihime runs a bakery called "The Four Corners Bakery", known for letting just about anyone in so long as they promise not to kill people. She gives jobs to anyone temporarily staying in the living world (e.g., Shinigami on the job, Arrancars with nothing better to do, the occasional jobless Quincy, etc.). Riruka buys donuts from her on a daily basis (and is effectively a full-time employee but won't admit it), and Urahara builds one of his crazy underground fight zones for people who need to work off some stress. Orihime also sells "feel-better treats", which are custom-made baked goods that look like whoever the maker doesn't like. Ironically, Loly buys them only from Orihime directly, because no one else is willing to make them for her.

Renji eventually becomes captain of the insert-number-of-your-choice-here division, Ichigo and Uryuu (who is dating Chad) bicker a lot, and Tatsuki gets some cool superpower because lord knows she deserves one.

Saiu uma das primeiras fanfics do @BleachProject. Vale a pena conferir.

One of @BleachProject's first fanfics came out. It is worth checking.

I released my first Renhime one-shot that I did with great affection. I would like you to comment and favor the fanfic. I thank you very much.

Lancé mi primer one-shot de Renhime que hice con mucho cariño. Me gustaría que comentaras y favorecieras el fanfic. Te agradezco mucho.