#remuswriting

He didn’t give Tsukishima time to say goodbye as he started to walk off.  It wasn’t like they had been close enough for him to reach out to him to ask him to stay.  It also wasn’t like he wouldn’t also do that.  Instead he listened to the steps on the concrete and how the air felt as it brushed over him.  Then he felt how his hand nearly fit perfectly around the h/c haired man’s wrist.

“I love you.” It was desperate and Y/N stood still, not looking back at the blonde.  Kei could feel the other’s racing heartbeat through his wrist and it comforted him in a way. “Please don’t leave.”

“Pathetic,” L/N said as he pulled his wrist out of the other’s grip and he turned to look at the Tsukishima. His eyes were angry and fierce, something the blonde had always loved about him. “You really think saying that will fix all of this?  It really took me actually walking away to make you realize you want me.  You must think I’m pathetic enough to think this would work.”

He didn’t.

Kei knew this would make this worse but either way he was losing Y/N, so he might as well finally say it. He imagined that Osamu would say it every day when they woke up next to each other.  It was just that he regretted not saying how he felt because actions don’t always speak louder than words.  People needed to hear it along with seeing it and he never gave the h/c haired man both of those things.

He had the chance to say it to Y/N in the midst of a white comforter while the blonde saw him come apart as well as take him apart.  Or when they sat across from each other in the morning as they drank their coffee and L/N always laughed into his cup at some joke he read online.  Instead he was doing it in the middle of the sidewalk at 6pm on a Saturday because this was his last chance.

“I’m not going to fall down to my knees thanking you for actually wanting me back after I started to finally get over you.” Y/N pressed a finger into Tsukishima’s chest forcefully to where there was a real dent in his shirt and skin. “It’s not my fault that you can’t express your emotions.  We’re 23 years old, you need to learn how to actually create a connection with someone other than people you knew in high school.”

Kei would admit it hurt to hear that, especially after he had told the other how he didn’t know how to make friends.  The only way he got to know L/N was because the man had been persistent in a way the blonde had only really ever seen in Yamaguchi but the h/c haired man radiated confidence and certainty.  No matter the insult used against him, he just rolled his eyes and laughed slightly before saying how he doubted the blonde actually thought that.

“I didn’t know how to say it,” Tsukishima said and his eyes are so vulnerable that even he could feel and see it. “Everyone lies and leaves, so I never thought I could say it.”

“I told you I loved you.” There’s a pause that’s obviously only made so he doesn’t scream. “I told you I loved you after we had sex that I thought meant something but then you said nothing.  I thought that time was different but then you proved me wrong and it fucking destroyed me.”

He remembered that night when he couldn’t help but let his love show.  He remembered the gentle fingertips that ghosted along his sides and how he begged for more.  He had always wanted more when it came to Y/N, in every single way.  It was clearly different than every other time they had sex because it meant something unlike the pathetic friends with benefits thing they had set up.

“I was scared.  I’ve always been so scared,” he said and it felt like he was pleading.  Kei could feel his eyes start to water but he didn’t want to cry.  Crying always meant things were going to be cemented and nothing could change again. “I wanted you just to feel what I wanted to say; what I couldn’t say.”

The sounds of cars driving by, people speaking in the distance, and birds chirping were all that were heard between the two.  Y/N squinted at the other, as if he were studying him with this new information.  All Tsukishima could feel was how his heart pounded to a point he felt nauseated.

“No.” Y/N dropped his hand and took a couple steps back. “You don’t get to do this.  I told Osamu about everything between us and he still wants to be with me and expresses it.  He confessed to me before he ever mentioned having sex with me unlike you.  We got drunk and hooked up and you said we might as well do it again and I deserved better than that.”

This is where others would fight to keep the h/c haired man; make sure he doesn’t go to the other person. Now was the time there truly wasn’t a point for Kei to continue trying because Y/N was right.  He never gave what the other deserved and it was unfair to him and at least Osamu gave the other what he deserved and needed.  Part of him wanted to reach out and just kiss Y/N because maybe that would be his way of getting him to stay.

“This is goodbye.”

Tsukishima felt his chest ache on a level he had never felt before.  Who knew there was something more painful than losing a volleyball match that you put your all in or watching your brother lie to your face. He couldn’t do this.  This hurt too much.

“I really hope you have a good life.  I really do,” Y/N said with a gentle smile before he turned around and the blonde watched him walk off.  He watched until he could barely see him.

Tears dripped off his jaw and he hadn’t realized he was crying until he felt that.  His eyes burned and it only got worse as he wiped his eyes over and over again in attempt to make the tears stop.  He had always told himself he would never feel heartbreak because he’d never put himself in the position where he would have to one day.

His shaky hands pulled his phone out of his pocket and he quickly unlocked it and pressed the contact of the person he knew would always be there for him.  He knew she’d be with someone else and he needed that person too.  They had always been there for him when he needed them most.

“Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima breathed out once the call went through.  His breathing was ragged and he felt slightly lightheaded. “It’s over.”

“What are you saying?” She asked, voice so gentle that it made Tsukishima cry harder.

Backstory

I kind of blend backstory and personality in this but I think it flows together??

Y/N needs a backstory just like canon characters do.  They need a family, friend group, interests, childhood memories, and more.  The reader doesn’t have to know all these things but the author does.  How do you know what your character would do if you don’t even know your character? I’ll repeat this; Y/N is a character. We may not know how you picture them physically and can come up with that ourselves, but that’s all we can do. We can’t create a personality for Y/N because that’s your job.  I may get controversial in this.

You’re requested to write flirty reader.  Why is Y/N flirty?  How is Y/N flirty?  Are they trying to gain something from acting like that?  Are they just flirty on accident?  Have they always been flirty?  Did something happen that now they act like that?  You can tell when there is no depth to a character when you don’t have any of these questions answered.  I become more interested when a character mentions that Y/N hasn’t always been flirty like they are now and I’m curious as to why because it could answer one of the questions listed above.  I’m aware that requests like that are meant for quick fluff but I’m never satisfied with fluff.  There’s never enough substance to a character for me to really like it.  Before I point out other commonly seen things that could be enhanced, let me explain what I mean by the things I explain with one of my own pieces.

In Kisses, a Hinata fluff drabble I wrote, I pictured Y/N’s whole day as well as friends, relations to people, his college major, and why he shares government with Tsukishima before I started writing and only wrote 634 words.  I hinted at those things because it was important to in order to get the whole effect of what I’m trying to portray.

Y/N says his day is okay and his government class was boring, even with Tsukishima next to him. He hates his government class, which either means his professor sucks or it’s hot his strong suit academically. In this context, it’s the first one. He and Tsukishima share the same major: Paleontology.  He’s how Y/N and Hinata met each other and is decently close to Y/N.  They’ve matched up schedules because of this.  I didn’t write all of this because I doubt the reader wanted me to go on a tangent about it but I wanted there to be a justified reason of why Y/N mentioned Tsukishima so casually.  It also just adds more to me as a writer when writing because there’s more to work off of.

Y/N is close to Hinata’s teammates, which means they’ve been dating for a while.  He knows how Osamu owns an onigiri store and knows Atsumu well enough that he doesn’t particularly like him because of his personality. He’s nice to him though and tries to make him feel included because Y/N’s friends made him feel like the third wheel when Hinata wasn’t there.  It shows that there’s a kindness to him and makes you wonder if that’s why Hinata fell for him.

I thought of all of this before I started writing.  It adds more personality and depth to the character, even if minimal, if you know their backstory.  You don’t have to have an entire childhood backstory (unless needed) but it helps to know more about your character beyond the fact that they’re flirty.

Focus

Don’t focus a character around one thing.

The flirty character thing is part of a personality and can be woven into different things when done right. A tall reader shouldn’t be just about how scared everyone is of them because their height.  How does Y/N feel about their height?  Are they self-conscious?  Do they even care?  Also, for the love the god, stop requesting seven foot readers.  I have received four of those in the past and it’s unrealistic and annoying. So, Y/N is tall.  What else do they have about them?  Let’s say they are insecure of how tall they are, what do they do to hide that insecurity?  A fun example of what I’m trying to say is in “Roy Spivey” by Miranda July.  In the first three to four paragraphs, she mentions her height and what she does to go against it in a way.

For this reason, I always let men see me asleep early on in a relationship. It makes them realize that even though I am five feet eleven I am fragile and need to be taken care of. A man who can see the weakness of a giant knows that he is a man indeed.

This may not exactly scream “I am insecure of my height” by any means but she is aware of her height. Instead of sleeping, what does your character do to distract from their height if they’re self-conscious over it? Or do they love the fact they’re tall? If so, then what to do they do to show it off?  Being tall is something but how someone reacts to it is another thing.

This applies to more than just tall readers but also readers who blush all the time (Touma Kikuchi from Ao Haru Ride), short readers, etc.  You can use your characters so much better if you know they feel about the things you’re focused on.

Accuracy

If you’ve followed me long enough, then you know I have a thing about accuracy.  I do a lot of research for everything I write, even if I think I am extraordinarily knowledgeable about the subject.  This part is pretty optional depending on who you are as writer.  I like things to feel real and be accurate but there are people who don’t care about that. Neither side is wrong.  I do this a lot because of research I’ve done for novels I’ve written before and it makes me feel content.  For Haikyuu, I just know the timeline near exact to where I don’t have to check to see what month certain things happened in.  This is a me thing because I think it helps.  It may not, writing is all opinion based anyways.

Volleyball player/manager Y/N is a common thing I see and I have written for both of them.  I know literally nothing about volleyball, not counting what is taught in Haikyuu as well as the couple of matches my brother and I watched on YouTube, so I researched things.  Sports are one of those things that it is hard to be 100% accurate unless you know the sport.  I try not to write out game scenes because I don’t know how to explain what each move is but I can do a recap after the match of a character thinking it over. They’re thinking about how maybe the blockers blocked a spike or they fucked up a receive or how angry someone was when something happened.  If you write in third person, this creates a more first person like atmosphere and makes the reader closer to the character.

Accuracy with characters can do a lot to make them well-rounded and realistic.  This can go into other things besides sports like choir, band, cheer, soccer, basketball, etc. (I am actually decent at writing soccer because it’s the best sport ever.)

For me, realism and accuracy makes the story more enjoyable.  In my class, we discussed how flat character who are doing something incorrectly make us put a story down faster than anything else.  You have to see Y/N as a character in order to be able to use them to your full ability.  You can’t do half-assed anything with them because they are essentially more important than a canon character because it’s focused on them.  Basically, put the same effort into everyone you write but the focal character (usually Y/N) should be focused on more and should be the character you know the best.

Surroundings

Everyone is influenced by their surroundings. This typically affects their decisions and view but maybe not their personality.  I’ve discussed this before on Japan and LGBT, but I’ll do it again.

Let’s say that even though Y/N is the gayest person to ever exist, they aren’t likely to be open about it in Japan.  In my previously mentioned post, I talked about how gay relationships are still seen as taboo (it is decreasing slowly though) and usually fetishized.  Trans individuals are even more likely to not be open about it.  Wandering Son by Takako Shimura is one of my favorite mangas that talks about LGBT things but sadly it does make trans men feel slightly like a joke.  It shows the language and shame forcing trans people to stay in the closet.  From numerous articles I’ve read, the shame is decreasing but that doesn’t mean the struggle isn’t as bad as it has been.  I believe the youngest person to have sterilization surgery (what must be completed to be seen as your gender to the Japanese government) was 20 years old. Also, there are very few places they can go to receive hormone replacement and gender therapy.

I’m focusing on Japan for this because it’s where anime takes place.  I write male reader and I take this into account while writing.  It affects how they interact with others and their thought process.  Are they struggling with their identity?  What is their family like?  Even if their parents are accepting, are going to be open about it?  How far are they willing to go to hide it?

Understanding the surroundings of your character affects who they are and how they respond to things. This also takes part in their internal struggles and maybe what the conflict of the story could be if focused on their identity.

Internal Struggle

Everyone has at least one internal struggle.  Usually people have a lot more but in fiction you try to focus on one because real life doesn’t always transfer over in that regard.  Struggles make your decisions though because you’re trying to deal with it. Characters are meant to feel like real people.  My professor said that the goal is to write your character to where people will talk about them as if they’re a real person.

This can be difficult to do with Y/N but that doesn’t mean you can’t try.  I always try to think of what is a struggle Y/N is going through that is either easily seen or never addressed.  If I went through all of my one-shots, then I can tell you and explain why I did that.  Does having a struggle mean that people see them as real people?  No but at least there’s a chance they could.  I really tried to make Y/N in my ficlet First Words more realistic but I don’t think I did the best job.  It’s okay to not be perfect at it because it’s really hard to nail down original characters but reader characters are even harder.