#remembertheways

Lyn pretty much only sees flaws. 

Meryn thinks he’s hot shit all the time. He has no physical self-esteem issues. 

Py pretty much only sees flaws. 

Fiorenze is absolutely confident that she’s hot shit all the time. 

“Meryn. He and I were both in lock up for a while, he’d bail me out no questions asked.” 

∯“I still think about ya an’ what ya did t’ me a lot. I dunno if you’re alive or dead. I forgive ya, though.” 

∯ “I still can’t believe that I ended up with ya, sometimes. I guess ‘m a real good case study in ‘don’t give up’, eh?” 

∯“Y’worry too much. We hardly ever talk an’ I only knew ya from th’ clinic, but loosen up a li’l an’ learn t’ move forward instead of constantly lookin’ back. It’ll help ya out.” 

∯“I wonder, sometimes, where we’d be if you survived. The longer I spend thinking about us, how we were, the more I realize how terrible you were for me. We fought all the time, you called me so many names, but after them you’d hold me and somehow never actually apologize. How much damage did you do that I’m just now realizing you did? I still feel like everything was my fault, in the end.” 

∯“You were so cold to me and I’ll never know why. You’re the reason I have such a hard time trusting other women. Why did you have so many problems with me? What did I do wrong?” 

∯“All of my friends never knew what I saw in you, and I saw a lot. You’re the reason I realized I have a thing for assholes.” 

“You’re too smart to not know when you’d lost. Your insistence to continue to push and then sulk when you didn’t get your way does you absolutely no credit. You are better than that.” 

There was a scene not too long ago that really tested the limits of people around Canerae, her personality, specifically. I watched as her past repeated itself yet again. Someone she thought was her friend and cared about her almost walked out to never contact her again because that’s what she wanted...

which is a little ironic considering that’s likely what she’s going to do anyway.

"Lyn," Tem said again, reaching out to touch her hair. He'd always liked her -hair-. "Lyn, you are amazing. Fuck this shit about being stubborn, or angry, or anything else. You are amazing, and I don't think I ever said just that. I probably could have fallen for you, you know? The whole thing. 

"See the thing is, though," he says with an attempt at his usual humour, "I would have won you over or you would have won me over and we would have done that dating thing. Awkward presents, sappy speeches at your front door, long, passionate nights. I would have bought a ring, and you would have accepted.

"We would have adopted some kids, you know? Let the little fuckers run around, annoy everyone, but they'd have been good. They'd have been great, because -you're- great. And we'd have been great together."But you know, overtime, I'd have started working late with Kara, and you'd have gotten wandering feet, and one night, one of us would have slipped."Then the fighting would start. The yelling, fighting kind of fighting, and we would've split because that's the sort of people we are, and can you imagine the kids? They'd have been heart-broken."So this is for the best, really. Best for the children, see?" It's a long speech and probably much more than he should have said, given the little time they have left. But he grinned, in the end. Because that's how it worked with Tem. He was always grinning.She leaned forward and kissed him just to shut him up; She'd already fallen for him, it's why she'd done all the things she'd done. It’s why she’d tried. She cupped the side of his face with her callused hand and pulled back, smiling for his sake. Letting him believe that's exactly how that would've happened even though she knew different, because she knew what it's like to be married and compromise and live with someone for a hundred and fifty long years, even though there are wandering feet and will always be battles. "Yeah. I guess you're right."The kiss went on for far too long, but that's alright. His last kiss should have gone on for too long and be far too inappropriate and all the things that he wished he'd said, he tried to convey in that moment. Because they would have been happy. They really would have.

She reaches up to stroke his hair. It seems appropriate, she wouldn't know. Everybody she's ever known has only ever died violently and away from her, out of reach. "I'm sorry I wasn't there more, Tem. I really am."

"You were there plenty," he breathed out, but that's all he can really manage. His inevitable death was coming, it had been coming for a while now, since that night, but he hadn't expected her to be there for it. He was supposed to die with his men. He was supposed to die with them, the men who understood him, who he was, what he'd done. The men that knew, who knew that death for someone like him was really a relief. It was like going to sleep after a day that had been far too long.

"Lyn," he says, "Lyn, Lyn, Lyn. I suppose, if it's one last to chance to say it, Lynesse Gloamingdawn, I..."But whatever he was going to say, whatever he was going to utter, it never made it out. That was the end, the very end.She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his forehead and choked back a sob. Gods this wasn't fair at all. It never was, though. Not for people like them. Not for her. She pulled back and ran her hand down the slack curve of his cheek. There wasn't any time for weeping or being heartbroken now. Arrangements had to be made. His sister needed to be informed. She needed to get home. "I loved you too, Tem."