#relmer

Albert: *unconvinced* no he doesn’t

Race: I have irrefutable proof!

Albert: which is?

Race: his blood type is AB positive

Albert: ...so?

Race: *whispering* that means he has the same blood type as Spot!

Albert: O_o

Spot: problem?

Requested:  hello!! can we have some relmer smut with 10 and 43 please if you are up to it? Thanks❤️

10- It’s sir, understood?

Warnings:  smut, 43- Angry sex, unprotected 

Summary: One argument leads to a rough night

the fun thing about those two is they’re both math smart (race has to be to gamble so much i thiiiiink) but they’re also just unbelievable dummies

Albert: *Shows him Elmer*

Oh of course!!

Elmer had a really bad feeling about this. “Racer? You’re sure?” He whispered. He was holding enough rope to tie up a train. Race, meanwhile, was tying said rope around his stomach.

“I’m sure. It’s a sewer! What could go wrong? Now take my hat, I don’t want slime on it.” Race put his hat on Elmer’s head and moved the manhole cover. “If I scream, yank me out.”

Elmer still had a horrible feeling as he let Race go down.

Elmer fed the rope through for a few minuets until he heard Race scream like he was being eaten. He yanked hard on the rope, trying to pull Race out as fast as he could. It took a few panicky minuets but eventually he managed to yank Race back up.

Race was white as a sheet and soaking wet, covered in slime. He took a moment. “That was... AWESOME!!” He grinned. He jumped up and tried to go back down.

....

Me: But also Ralbert. Their dynamic is so perfect. My OTP.

...

Me: Okay But Spralbert. They’re so glorious. They play off each other’s strengths and weaknesses so well. OTP

...

Me: Alright, okay, but Spralmer! The big group love bugs. It’s just such a pile of love it’s amazing. O.T.P

...

I’ll be honest. Getting back into writing has been hard, but once I started, it was hard to stop. Here is a small thing that I’ve wanted to write for a while.

Without further ado, another heaping pile of hot garbage.

Warnings: none

***

The night was quiet. The only sound in the air was the chirping of crickets, and faint sounds of cicadas were filling the empty space. Race and Elmer were in the living room, finishing up movie night.

Elmer ran his fingers through the curly, blond mop of hair in his lap. “Want to know what I'm in the mood for?”

Race looked up at his boyfriend. “Food? Please say food. I'm starving.”

“Pizza.”

“We can make some!” Race shot up out of Elmer's lap and pulled him up. “I have a recipe I got from my mom.”

“At midnight? Come on, Race.” Elmer let Race lead him to the kitchen. “This better not take too long. I was going to tell you that I also wanted to go swimming.”

“At night?”

“You've never been night swimming?” Elmer made a fake offended face. “It's the best time to swim!”

“Can we make the pizza first?” Race wrapped his arms around Elmer's waist and looked at him with a pout. “I'm hungry.”

Elmer kissed Race's forehead and smiled. “Of course.”

They got all of their ingredients together, and Elmer made the dough while Race made the sauce. It went by faster than what Elmer expected, and when the pizzas were done, Race was more than excited to eat.

“Let's eat it in the pool,” Elmer suggested.

“You're so weird.”

“What? I've eaten Taco Bell in a pool. Pizza is no different.”

Race rolled his eyes. “Fine. You win. We'll bring this out.”

The two got dressed into swim clothes and brought their pizza outside by the pool. Elmer turned on an overhead light and hopped in before Race, and Race kept the pizza a safe distance from the edge before jumping in himself. 

“Holy Christ that's cold!” 

Elmer laughed at Race and splashed him. “You'll get used to it.” He grabbed a slice of pizza and took a large bite. “Oh, my God. That's amazing!”

Race smiled. “It's all in the sauce. It's a secret recipe that's been handed down for a few generations.”

“What's the secret?”

“It's a secret. I'm not telling you.”

“Boo.” Elmer finished the slice and ducked under the water. He surfaced in front of Race. “Have some fun. Don't just stand there.”

Race pushed Elmer's wet hair out of his face. “What do you normally do?”

“Whatever I want.”

“In that case….” Race shoved Elmer backward into the water and swam in the opposite direction. He stopped by the pizza to grab a slice. “You're right. We did do good.”

Elmer stood back up and shook his head, sending water droplets flying everywhere. “You're unbelievable.”

Race shrugged. “You said to have fun and do whatever I wanted, so I did.” He didn't try to hide his smug smile. “What are you going to do about it?”

Elmer went back under the water and swam to Race. He emerged behind him and pushed him in, laughing at the surprised scream he let out.

“Not funny,” he said as he got back up.

“It was pretty funny.” He walked to Race and pushed his hair back. “Has anyone ever told you that you're gorgeous with your hair pushed back?”

Race looked down and smiled. “Has anyone ever told you that you're gorgeous when you're caught off guard?” He tried to push Elmer, but he felt him grab his hands and pull him under with him. He pushed himself up and saw Elmer emerge beside him. 

“Not funny, El.”

“You're the one that pushed me.”

“But I didn't expect you to pull me in with you.”

Elmer put his hands on Race's cheeks. “I love you so much.”

Race smiled and pulled him in for a small kiss. “I love you, too.”

***

I do love night swimming, and I have eaten Taco Bell in a pool, but I have not eaten in a pool at night. Still have a chance to.

I’m so freaking tired, my brain is fried, and I move back into the dorms this Saturday, so I probably won’t post anything in the next week so I can get ready and get settled in.

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