more ramble time :)c ty baby u3u

SO i need to go back to when ryan was in high school; he was kind of a nervous guy but he was actually rly sweet. he did idolize william a lot bc he was p neglected by his parents and he wanted some sort of mentor in his life, and that's kinda how they got to know each other.

ryan and william actually were college roomies and william absolutely hated ryan bc he was always so clingy. he even threatened physical violence when he got too pissed at him. ryan rly tried his best to back off but he has the fear that if he doesnt initiate in a conversation first ppl wont talk to him (aha projection), so he was in a dilema.

william then just kinda dealt w him and overtime they grew kinda close AHEMwilliamcaughtfeelingsforhimAHEM. william confessed his feelings in the weirdest yet homosexual way possible by letting ryan sit on his lap and kissing him dfvgbhn (i have a fanfic on that actually but i need to remake it so im not linking it lmao /lh). and ryan fucking loved it.

but then came the manipulation from william. william realized he could hold so much power over ryan bc ryan would do anything william wanted. the sweet, innocent, high school ryan turned into a sad, poor, unstable sex worker, but then turned into a remnant-junkie serial killer (partnering with william most of the time) even adopting some manipulation techniques from william.

Someone's written on something I shared as a trauma survivor and chronic illness sufferer about God giving us challenges and I really need people like that to stay away from me right now. Obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion and religion, I would never normally comment, but I'm a religious abuse survivor and this week is one of the biggest triggers for fucks sake, so kindly fuck off and keep your views to yourself. No they probably didn't realise because the post has been reblogged so much so I'm probably not being fair but I'm really fucking sensitive this week, recovering from a car accident doesn't help with the mood. But that's probably just another "challenge" that somehow makes sense. I just don't have the capacity for that kind of bullshit today, sorry not sorry.

Can I please ask that you consider what you're asking trauma survivors and what trigger warnings are appropriate. You don't have to look far on this blog to see that we experienced some awful things in the name of 'religion' so the terminology is triggering.

I'm trying very hard to give you the benefit of the doubt that you are just curious to learn more about DID. If that's the case, here are some resources you may find helpful:

https://did-research.org/did/

https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/what-is-dissociative-identity-disorder-did/

https://www.isst-d.org/resources/dissociation-faqs/

Please do not send this ask to anyone else with DID because at the very least it's very unsettling.

Snorlax and some others were weirded out by your suggestions but I wanted to respond so you know this isn't an okay thing to send unprompted without any trigger warnings. DID is a complex trauma disorder caused by chronic and severe trauma in early childhood, to belittle those experiences is extremely insensitive at best.

My mom was watching some movie with your typical black church scene when I went into her room to iron my clothes. I dunno, it just got me thinking. Knowing that they were portraying practically every church I've been to to a perfect T, part of me just wanted to laugh and found them rather stupid and over exaggerating. But then a small portion of me was jealous...?

Mm, I've never believed in any religion my entire life, just went through the motions of Christianity to avoid being disowned by my extended family. I honestly see religion as an joke. But...maybe it would be nice to believe in something. Ignorance is bliss, after all. I wonder, if I accepted my family's religion growing up, or even some other religion, would I be a happier person? Maybe my mind wouldn't be always trying to rationalize why the world is how it is, maybe getting over my depression would be easier.